What should I do about quarreling adult siblings?

[ecarro]

I have a sibling (40 yrs.) who is angry at another sibling (38 yrs.). I have tried to intervene in the hope that they would make amends.

Unfortunately, the older one says she has prayed and cannot let go of her anger. She claimed, “The devil has no hold over me and plays no part in my behavior. My steadfast faith and love of God does not make me a candidate for the devil.”

I responded that “I found your comment below to be disturbing. The truth is anyone is a candidate for the devil and especially those who have faith. Saints were often challenged by the devil.”

I believe it is my moral duty as a Catholic to help my sister but her letters to me are filled with self-rightousness and anger that she has been wronged. I feel her husband is also part of the problem as he does little to strengthen his ties with his own family. They seem to take everything personally. What can I do?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

What can I do?

You can stay out of it and let your siblings work out their own problems. If you continue to intervene, especially by suggesting to your sister that she is being satanically influenced when she believes herself to be justifiably angry, then you will risk beginning your own feuds with your siblings.

You are no longer children who have to live with each other. All you must do is to act civilly to each other when gathering for extended family occasions. Certainly you may act as a neutral sounding board for close relatives in need of such service, and offer your opinion and advice where it will be constructive, but it is unlikely that your siblings will thank you for volunteering to mediate their problems with each other.

Recommended reading:

God Help Me! These People Are Driving Me Nuts by Gregory K. Popcak
When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People by Leonard Felder