What should i do about this situation?

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iloveyou01

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I am in desperate need of help. I don’t know where to begin. It’s a long story, but I’ll make it short. The one I love is completely losing his way. He keeps telling me to leave him, and to go be with someone else. I really cannot just leave him behind, whether it’s for my own good or not. I don’t think God would ever abandon a soul in despair, so why should I?
Please offer some guidance, thanks
 
iloveyou01 said:
I am in desperate need of help. I don’t know where to begin. It’s a long story, but I’ll make it short. The one I love is completely losing his way. He keeps telling me to leave him, and to go be with someone else. I really cannot just leave him behind, whether it’s for my own good or not. I don’t think God would ever abandon a soul in despair, so why should I?
Please offer some guidance, thanks
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Let Go, Let God 🙂
 
to easy to let go and let God. As believers we need to try to save souls for Christ not just drop em. Slow down on the feelings and save the soul. But member that you can only attempt to plant the see let Christ do the rest!
 
He is suffering from depression, possibly, and wanting to spare you his misery?
He may need professional help?
If you stay, that will be painful, but so will it be if you leave.

If you do abandon him he will ‘know’ he’s not worth loving.
If he leaves the decision to you…I couldn’t leave either and didn’t…
but you have no control over his will,
only yours.

My prayers for you both
 
iloveyou01 said:
I am in desperate need of help. I don’t know where to begin. It’s a long story, but I’ll make it short. The one I love is completely losing his way. He keeps telling me to leave him, and to go be with someone else. I really cannot just leave him behind, whether it’s for my own good or not. I don’t think God would ever abandon a soul in despair, so why should I?
Please offer some guidance, thanks
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What do you mean by “completely losing his way?”

It is not your job to save anyone. You can be there for a friend but that person has to be responsible for his own welfare.

Why would he tell you to leave him? Is he depressed? Then he needs medical intervention. If he will not seek it, you could tell his friends or relatives what you have seen. Then step aside and let him heal. You do not have to seek anyone else’s company, but you should not go through all the ups and downs with him, it can be very draining and can ruin your relationship. You can be there for support but you will have to take care of yourself very well. And set reasonable boundaries.

But again, what does “completely losing his way” mean?
 
Actually there is another question, regarding whether you are living with him as a partner or just a friend. If living with him as a sexual partner and not married, that isn’t helpful to the well-being of either of you, as cohabitation if in a sexual sense is sinful for a Christian, therefore doing so is bad for his soul and spirit, and yours. It won’t aid his recovery for you to fail to live in the state of grace. Your post is unclear on your status, but ‘leaving’ someone could see to indicate that you live with him.
You can still be a friend, if that is your wish, but not cohabiting as a partner, unless he is your spouse. You may find Confession helpful for both grace and guidance to be a true friend and to offer true love, as life-giving love comes from God.
 
iloveyou01 said:
I am in desperate need of help. I don’t know where to begin. It’s a long story, but I’ll make it short. The one I love is completely losing his way. He keeps telling me to leave him, and to go be with someone else. I really cannot just leave him behind, whether it’s for my own good or not. I don’t think God would ever abandon a soul in despair, so why should I?
Please offer some guidance, thanks
Click to expand...
The answer would have to differ based on the circumstances. If he’s in some throws of addition and abusive and violent, then you must go. If he’s got some other problem, you may be able to stay and help.

Without something a bit more specific, no one can advise you because “losing his way” is too vague. “Losing his way” to me may mean something quite different to you and every other poster.
 
Hi everyone. Thanks for the answers. Regarding some of the questions. He is not being abusive, and we are not living together. He is my partner, and I have been with him for several years. The trouble now is regarding us wanting to get married. His family is not happy about it. He has started drinking now, and is telling me to leave him because he thinks I’ll be happy with someone else who can actually marry me.
 
Anyone here who is married to a problem drinker or will beg you not to marry him unless he definitely has given up drinking.
To marry an alcoholic or heavy drinker is to create a life of misery for yourself and your children.

Even the possibility of marrying you is not preventing his drinking, I’m sad for you, but hope you will not subject your life and your children to the consequences.

If you can get him to accept outside help, that would be good, but I hope you will have open-eyes about the facts if you marry him under present circumstance.

I am very sad for the sorrow and hurt and confusion that you are suffering.

You seem to have removed the post where you wrote of his drinking problem, but it is a very serious issue and affect the answers we can give. Do you wish me to remove this post?
 
Hey Trishie, It’s just not something easy for me to speak about. He didn’t drink before this situation happened, but his depression has led him to start. I’m really worried about him. I don’t really get to speak to him anymore either
 
iloveyou01 said:
Hey Trishie, It’s just not something easy for me to speak about. He didn’t drink before this situation happened, but his depression has led him to start. I’m really worried about him. I don’t really get to speak to him anymore either
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Of course. It’s heartbreaking for you.

The worry is, also, that trouble would trigger drinking in him.
Many people have great sorrows and marriage breakdowns, loss of jobs, businesses and homes, all kinds of troubles but don’t turn to drink.
That he turned to drinking must be very scary as well as sad.
That also causes questions in your mind.
You dreamed of a happy future with him and now the world is upside down for you.

Your heart must hurt very much.
 
You’re right, my heart hurts more than I ever thought it could. I’m just trying to stay hopeful
 
iloveyou01 said:
Hey Trishie, It’s just not something easy for me to speak about. He didn’t drink before this situation happened, but his depression has led him to start. I’m really worried about him. I don’t really get to speak to him anymore either
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Please locate an Al-Anon meeting near you and get there as soon as you can. You need support and tools to deal with the problem drinking, no matter what has caused it. Please try several different meetings as they each have their own character although the structure is basically the same. You will find meetings that resonate with you and you will hear some of your own story being told by other people. You will get unconditional support and love from the moment you walk through the door. If you don’t feel it, then don’t go back. But do try more than one meeting, please.

Al-Anon/Alateen

It is not a therapy group but you will learn to take care of yourself, regardless of what your husband is or is not doing. And it doesn’t matter why your husband is drinking, if his drinking bothers you, you qualify for Al-Anon.

:grouphug::console:
 
parable1 said:
to easy to let go and let God. As believers we need to try to save souls for Christ not just drop em. Slow down on the feelings and save the soul. But member that you can only attempt to plant the see let Christ do the rest!
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It is NOT easy to let go and let God! In fact, just the opposite! Since God works through our hands and feet, it is easier for most of us to feel that WE are the ones who have to stand in for God and try to fix other people. For many of us, sitting on our hands and allowing the other person to reach out to the One True God and not us, is very VERY difficult!

It is the Holy Spirit who saves souls, not us. We can act as His helper, but ultimately, it’s not even up to a priest to save a soul.
 
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