What should i do? Advice on moving out

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lolashy

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This is kind of an embarrassing topic for me to talk about, but i need advice. I have prayed about this situation, but can not come up with what i should do. The answer may be easy to
some of you, maybe im just thinking into it to deep.

Im a 21 year old girl. I Still live at home with my parents and my brother who is 16. I am currently unemployed, but i have had
several jobs in the past. I live in a very small rural town, about 100 people live here. The nearest bigger town has about 1000 people in total. So you can imagine, how hard it is to find a job, thats decent. So, that explains why i dont have a job. Its no excuse, but i am trying.When i did have a job i was paying rent of $450 to live with my parents. Also, i do not go anywhere.I have no car. I stay home all day. Im not allowed to leave(drive) without one of my parents taking me somewhere. (even work)So i have no life, ( social, friends) just my parents all day.(My mom is a stay at home wife) Your probaly wonder what i do all day. Well i wake up, do my chores my parents gave me. Dishes (no dishwasher) and other things to keep the house tidy. I kind of feel like a maid for my parents. Because i dont get paid, but i just get to live there. So it frustrates me sometimes.
Every day i Go online look at all newspapers around my area for new postings, apply.(Theres only so many places to apply!) My parents dont mind me being here.(Who wouldnt mind if you had someone constantly cleaning your mess?) As long as i live by there rules and do all my chores. Ok so the real question is: The other day my aunt who lives in a very large city called and said she would let me rent out one of her rooms for $250 a month. So i could easily find a job where she lives because theres lots of oppurtunities. I want to go do this so i could get out of my parents house and live my own life. But, for some reason i cant bring myself to accept her offer. I have never been on my own, and i think that has something to do with it. Im scared.But do you think i should take her offer??

Sorry this is so long, but i kinda had to give a back story. Thanks for any advice! 🙂
 
Yes, take your aunt’s offer so you can begin to live your own life. Just find a good Catholic parish to be a part of and you will do just fine. Once you’ve settled in you can take driving lessons, get your license and be even more your own woman. Don’t let what you’ve always known as a child hinder you as an adult. You’ll want to start your own family one day and the only way you can do that is to be your own person and make your own life. Contact your aunt today and say yes. That’s my advice as a 64 year old lady.
 
Do it! You’re 21, now is the time to take chances and get out on your own, see the world, and live new places. Go for it!!!
 
Thanks for the answer. I do have a license, my parents wanted me to get it, so if i had to take them somewhere or do something for them. But, i do understand what your saying.
 
It’s important as an adult to be able to take care of yourself. It sounds like your aunt has given you a good opportunity to start doing that. If you decide to move out, you should ideally find a job before you move.

I know it’s a scary thought, but being on your own will enable you to do so much more than you are able to right now. You’ll be able to gain work experience, save for a car, and at some point after awhile, get your own place or find a roommate. You’ll meet new people, and learn to be self-sufficient.

It sounds like you are very limited where you are. If you cannot find a job there, it is really a good idea to go someplace where you can. This isn’t to say that helping your parents care for the household isn’t valuable, but since you are feeling stuck and have no opportunities where you are, either job-wise or socially, it sounds like it would be best for you to leave.
 
Right now you’re 21 and live with your parents. In five years, would you rather be 26 and still living with your parents, or 26 and living in the city (perhaps with your aunt, perhaps on your own, perhaps in a college dorm room or apartment)?

It sounds like it’s time to spread your wings.
 
Yes, time to go and this is an excellent starting place for a girl who has never been on her own. The price is less than what you spent before and you are with your aunt.

Did you ever think of going to college, beauty school, or join the service? You really need some skills.

Take the bus if you need to. Don’t get too bogged down with expenses. Even a waitress in a good restaurant can make good money.
 
Go fot it!

It is a way out of the rut you are in.

Prayers for you!
 
I find that my relationship with my parents has gotten MUCH better since I left home and got out on my own. Somewhere in there, the dynamic shifted from adults and their child to all adults. I’ve left the Army now and moved back to the farm, where I have a chance to support them through a tough time while preparing for my own future. We get along fine. Ten years ago, when I was 19, it was a much different story.
 
Della said:
Yes, take your aunt’s offer so you can begin to live your own life. Just find a good Catholic parish to be a part of and you will do just fine. Once you’ve settled in you can take driving lessons, get your license and be even more your own woman. Don’t let what you’ve always known as a child hinder you as an adult. You’ll want to start your own family one day and the only way you can do that is to be your own person and make your own life. Contact your aunt today and say yes. That’s my advice as a 64 year old lady.
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I totally agree with Della. BTW I’m a 65-year-old ladywho raised four kids and have 9 grandkids. I went straight from my parents’ home into a (first) marriage and it was a huge mistake. You need some time to live on your own and be your own person in charge of your own life in order to get ready to some day have your own family. What a wonderful aunt to make this offer to you.
 
I would also recommend going. We too live in a small town with few job opportunities and that has been a problem for my children, and as they get older, I can see that they are ready to go out on their own, altho we would not force them to. It’s just that they are adults and it’s time.

The fact that your aunt has invited you to be her roommate sounds like a really excellent way for you to start out. You may want to clarify exactly how she envisions things working: if she is single and has had roommates before, she may well be used to a pretty high level of independence. So you need to ask her about utilities, food, etc.

In the city, you will not need a car, but you will be able to save up for one. You should also look into insurance ahead of time, unless you have gotten that high rate of insurance out of the way already. A bicycle might be nice when the weather is good 🙂

However, I would like to say one thing: it does not sound like your parents really have you cleaning up after them. They are doing a lot by supporting you, and it doesn’t sound like you were doing all the cooking and cleaning. There will come a time when you may be doing more housework than you are now, what with laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning everything as well as the dishes, etc., *as well as *paying your way. Just giving you a little reality check there 😉
 
By all means accept the generous offer from your thoughtful Aunt! You are 21 years old and more than ready to fly! Give yourself the gift of living on your own and taking care of yourself. Find a job or even two jobs; get out there girl! Enjoy the journey and embrace the ups and downs.

Thank Mom and Dad profusely for all the love, care and mentoring that got you this far. 🙂
Perhaps invite your parents to dinner when you are settled.

Give your aunt a big hug!:hug3:

:blessyou:
 
You should apply to college or enroll at a trade school so you will not have to live with a relative the rest of your life. It sounds like you do not have ambition. If I were you I would not move in with the aunt. There is no way of knowing how things will be with her & since you do not have a job, you may not come up with the monthly rent. Since your parents are happy with you being there, you should be grateful. You sound like you are spoiled and unappreciative.
 
Yes, go go go!!! Your Aunt is right. And you won’t totally be on your own, you’ll have your Aunt to help you get used to the big city!

Spread your wings and fly little birdie, it’s time to leave the nest!

I live in a town of 3000 people (approx. more in winter with snowbirds and less in summer) and there are no jobs here for most people. So I know that there are no jobs in a town of 100 or even 1000.

Good luck!!
 
ABEACHGIRL said:
You should apply to college or enroll at a trade school so you will not have to live with a relative the rest of your life. It sounds like you do not have ambition. If I were you I would not move in with the aunt. There is no way of knowing how things will be with her & since you do not have a job, you may not come up with the monthly rent. Since your parents are happy with you being there, you should be grateful. You sound like you are spoiled and unappreciative.
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You are not being perceptive in what the OP said in her first post. She lives in a very small town where there are no job opportunities. She is 21 and is stuck in the house. This is no life for a young woman, and by all means she should make this move.

Without being unkind to her parents, she can leave. If they become upset it is selfish of the parents. I certainly hope this will not be the case, but whether it is or not she should definitely take this opportunity to get on her own after earning some money and saving some. She is an adult and has a perfect right to leave the house.
 
ABEACHGIRL said:
You should apply to college or enroll at a trade school so you will not have to live with a relative the rest of your life. It sounds like you do not have ambition. If I were you I would not move in with the aunt. There is no way of knowing how things will be with her & since you do not have a job, you may not come up with the monthly rent. Since your parents are happy with you being there, you should be grateful. You sound like you are spoiled and unappreciative.
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She has no friends and lives with her parents, isn’t allowed to drive unless it’s an emergency, there is NO work. She’s respectful of her parents, she does what they want and follows all their rules evidently. How on earth could you perceive that she’s spoiled and unappreciative?
She wants a life and she should have a life. If she stays where she it, she’ll be 45 and still taking care of her parents living in the same room she’s in now and washing the same dishes she does now.
And I’ll make a small bet that there is no college in a town with a population of 100 people.
 
ABEACHGIRL said:
You should apply to college or enroll at a trade school so you will not have to live with a relative the rest of your life. It sounds like you do not have ambition. If I were you I would not move in with the aunt. There is no way of knowing how things will be with her & since you do not have a job, you may not come up with the monthly rent. Since your parents are happy with you being there, you should be grateful. You sound like you are spoiled and unappreciative.
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Not my take on her situation at all. She’s been obedient and does everything her parents ask. I think it’s time for her to go – not out of anger or what have you, but as part of the growing-up process – but I read nothing that made me think she was spoiled or unappreciative.
 
We can only guess, because we don’t really know your aunt etc. All I can really offer is anecdotes from my own life.

If you guys get along, it could be a great opportunity. We have no children, and I think it would be great to do what your aunt is doing, if we had a niece that needed a place.

So I see how it could work.

It is scary to leave home; however, we all have to do it. My Dad left home before he finished high school and joined the merchant marine, and then the Army. He had a very successful career. I went to college when I was 16, although my parents were still supporting me. Still it was scary. When I decided to leave home, we were in a foreign country, and my parents supported my decision to leave high school after 3 years and go to college early.

I have found that life will put you into situations that will test you. I suggest praying about it and spending time with the Bible daily (for strength and guidance), and talking to any mentors whose advice you trust (priest, teacher, etc.)

Good luck.
 
Thanks for all the answers. Yes me and my aunt get along. She lives alone and is willing to give me a room, and use her cars to go to work. 🙂
 
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