What should I do if my Non-Catholic friends's child expresses interest in Catholicism?

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ScrupulousMonk

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*This has not occurred to me yet, but I would like some advice should the occasion arrive. If this is not the appropriate forum for this subject, then please report this post and do not reply to it.

I have two heterosexual friends who are very romantically involved and it seems that they will spend the rest of their lives together and have a family (I think). These friends of mine also happen to be Atheist (not judging, just saying). These friends of mine, probably through dastardly social conditioning, believe that organized religion is the source of all evil and conflict (this information is based upon their opinions that they related to me while we were in high school). Keep this in mind as I give the following scenario.

Let’s just say and pretend that my friends allowed me to babysit their daughter “Jane Doe” for a few days as they conduct business elsewhere. Those few days happened to fall on a Sunday, so I had to bring “Jane Doe” along with me to Mass. After Mass (still in the Church), “Jane Doe” had a plethora of questions regarding the Catholic faith. I answered all of them as best I could and even got a spiritual director to help me answer them. She then expressed a sincere interest in being a Catholic and asked if I could help her to that goal. This is where I need advice.

My friends are very decent and respectful towards me. That being said, please consider that they have a very negative view of religion. I fear they may persecute their daughter for even thinking about joining the Catholic Church. How should I go about this situation in a way that would ensure that “Jane Doe” can still become a Catholic without disrespecting my friends? I await your advice. Thank you in advance.
 
I’ve been wondering that myself :). I’ve been hoping in the last year, since I was baptised, that at least in my family there would be someone who sees why I chose the Catholic Church, and becomes interested. It would be great to have someone to talk to inside the family. No one is religious, my mother maybe a little, but she still is frustrated that I chose the Catholic Church and not a protestant denomination. That hurts.

It may be a little selfish of me, to want someone inside the family to ‘share’ the faith with me, but obviously I would like EVERYONE to be converted. But if there is only ONE, that would become interested and starts to asks questions? I have 2 younger nieces, who are still children, but I do believe that this is also the period where they can be a little more sensitive about the faith, before the world hardens them into grown adults… So, I keep praying for their conversion, for the conversion of anyone in my family btw
 
ScrupulousMonk said:
*This has not occurred to me yet, but I would like some advice should the occasion arrive. If this is not the appropriate forum for this subject, then please report this post and do not reply to it.

I have two heterosexual friends who are very romantically involved and it seems that they will spend the rest of their lives together and have a family (I think). These friends of mine also happen to be Atheist (not judging, just saying). These friends of mine, probably through dastardly social conditioning, believe that organized religion is the source of all evil and conflict (this information is based upon their opinions that they related to me while we were in high school). Keep this in mind as I give the following scenario.

Let’s just say and pretend that my friends allowed me to babysit their daughter “Jane Doe” for a few days as they conduct business elsewhere. Those few days happened to fall on a Sunday, so I had to bring “Jane Doe” along with me to Mass. After Mass (still in the Church), “Jane Doe” had a plethora of questions regarding the Catholic faith. I answered all of them as best I could and even got a spiritual director to help me answer them. She then expressed a sincere interest in being a Catholic and asked if I could help her to that goal. This is where I need advice.

My friends are very decent and respectful towards me. That being said, please consider that they have a very negative view of religion. I fear they may persecute their daughter for even thinking about joining the Catholic Church. How should I go about this situation in a way that would ensure that “Jane Doe” can still become a Catholic without disrespecting my friends? I await your advice. Thank you in advance.
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I would say be open and honest with the parents about their child’s questions with respect to your faith. Everything should be above board so that it does not look as if you are secretly trying to convert their child.

In addition, turn your question on it’s head, “What if you had a child who was questioning atheism and went to your non-catholic friends for advice?” Would you want to know about it?
 
In the first place, you would not (I hope) be taking the child to Mass unless the parents gave permission. If you did get permission to take the child to Mass, (which would be doubtful from your description), you should check with the parents first to see if it is ok to answer questions, or just refer the child to the parents. You should not, under any circumstance, discuss religion with a minor child in this situation without the permission of the parents.

Once the child attains the age of majority, feel free to hand it a Bible and a Catechism.

Also, these people aren’t even to the point of being married yet, don’t you think it is a little early to be worrying about this?
 
ScrupulousMonk said:
*This has not occurred to me yet, but I would like some advice should the occasion arrive. If this is not the appropriate forum for this subject, then please report this post and do not reply to it.

I have two heterosexual friends who are very romantically involved and it seems that they will spend the rest of their lives together and have a family (I think). These friends of mine also happen to be Atheist (not judging, just saying). These friends of mine, probably through dastardly social conditioning, believe that organized religion is the source of all evil and conflict (this information is based upon their opinions that they related to me while we were in high school). Keep this in mind as I give the following scenario.

Let’s just say and pretend that my friends allowed me to babysit their daughter “Jane Doe” for a few days as they conduct business elsewhere. Those few days happened to fall on a Sunday, so I had to bring “Jane Doe” along with me to Mass. After Mass (still in the Church), “Jane Doe” had a plethora of questions regarding the Catholic faith. I answered all of them as best I could and even got a spiritual director to help me answer them. She then expressed a sincere interest in being a Catholic and asked if I could help her to that goal. This is where I need advice.

My friends are very decent and respectful towards me. That being said, please consider that they have a very negative view of religion. I fear they may persecute their daughter for even thinking about joining the Catholic Church. How should I go about this situation in a way that would ensure that “Jane Doe” can still become a Catholic without disrespecting my friends? I await your advice. Thank you in advance.
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Duty to God above all. If anyone comes to you seeking God, do your best to make it so regardless how your hypothetical friends may react. May God guide you in your journey.
 
Be careful; there are extreme atheists out there spreading the idea that teaching children about the faith is a kind of ‘child abuse’, or a brainwashing of sorts. If your friends are the type to sympathise with populist atheists like Richard Dawkins they might take offence at the mere hint of any indoctrination towards their child.

It does sound like this is a very distant eventuality, so don’t think about it too much. I think the best thing to do is just be polite, respectful and bear a silent witness to the faith. Do not push any message too keenly, but let your own behaviour reflect a different way of life to that of secular friends. I think young people have a naturally very strong curiosity and rarely fail to notice something or someone existing in a way outside of the ‘norm’.

If someone should show an interest in your faith just trust in God and remember that often less is more. Being open and to-the-point will leave a stronger impression than that left by rambling and vague shows of religious enthusiasm.
 
You should never evangelize a child who is not yours. How would you like it if someone took your child to their church and encouraged their interest in it? You would be outraged. It is not your place to teach religion to someone else’s child.
 
ScrupulousMonk said:
Let’s just say and pretend that my friends allowed me to babysit their daughter “Jane Doe” for a few days as they conduct business elsewhere. Those few days happened to fall on a Sunday, so I had to bring “Jane Doe” along with me to Mass. After Mass (still in the Church), “Jane Doe” had a plethora of questions regarding the Catholic faith. I answered all of them as best I could and even got a spiritual director to help me answer them. She then expressed a sincere interest in being a Catholic and asked if I could help her to that goal. This is where I need advice.

My friends are very decent and respectful towards me. That being said, please consider that they have a very negative view of religion. I fear they may persecute their daughter for even thinking about joining the Catholic Church. How should I go about this situation in a way that would ensure that “Jane Doe” can still become a Catholic without disrespecting my friends? I await your advice. Thank you in advance.
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I would probably promptly remove you from my life if that were my child.

First off, did you get the parents’ permission to take the child to church? If yes, what did you agree to do about questions the child might ask? The first two questions aside, why did you pick a “Spiritual Director” to talk to my child about religion in my absence? I don’t know this person, I don’t know what they believe or how they will relate things to my children, so that’s completely inappropriate. Third, what would you say to a child that would make her suddenly, over the course of a few hours, want to convert to a religion? That’s simply not enough time to learn anything at all, much less process all of it! If a child wanted to convert after one mass and an afternoon discussing it with you and a priest, something very manipulative and over the top would have had to have been said. Encouraging a child away from her parents like that over the course of a short visit is completely reckless, disrespectful, and manipulative.

What should you have done even if you had permission to take the kid to mass? Answer basic questions afterwards and divert the rest until the parents came back. Then have a private discussion with them about her curiosity and offer to show her Catholicism if that’s what she would like. They may take you up on it depending on the age and temperament of their child.
 
Are all of you suggesting, Monk miss Mass? When you are caring for a child you take them with you. It’s not like he’s going to a bar with stripers! Seriously ,we are supposed to evangelize. Evil will use EVERY opportunity to spread harm. God wants us to use every opportunity to spread the Gospel. God commanded us to spread the Gospel. I would simply tell the parents, their child attended Mass & had some questions.

If a child asks what kind of bird is that, or what’s the population of a city you simply answer them. It is not wrong, or sneaky to answer a question about God or Catholicism. It is your calling, and purpose in life. If the parents don’t like it, they won’t ask Monk to baby sit again. But he has done nothing wrong.

Take courage friend, you have done the right thing. We must please God before man.
 
Regina_Love said:
Are all of you suggesting, Monk miss Mass? When you are caring for a child you take them with you. It’s not like he’s going to a bar with stripers! Seriously ,we are supposed to evangelize. Evil will use EVERY opportunity to spread harm. God wants us to use every opportunity to spread the Gospel. God commanded us to spread the Gospel.

If a child asks what kind of bird is that, or what’s the population of a city you simply answer them. It is not wrong, or sneaky to answer a question about God or Catholicism. It is your calling, and purpose in life. If the parents don’t like it, they won’t ask Monk to baby sit again. But he has done nothing wrong.

Take courage friend, you have done the right thing. We must please God before man.
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👍👍👍
 
If parents think your ‘influence’ is too persuasive, they will not leave the child with you again. You cannot leave the child alone so explain why you had to take the kid with you. Obviously they trust you. I expect the child enjoyed it immensely. Pity RCs are now becoming so timorous & fearful about their religion.
 
808Catholic said:
Duty to God above all. If anyone comes to you seeking God, do your best to make it so regardless how your hypothetical friends may react. May God guide you in your journey.
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This. DOWN WITH “ATHEISM!” Hell-Bound Sinners.
 
Regina_Love said:
Are all of you suggesting, Monk miss Mass? When you are caring for a child you take them with you. It’s not like he’s going to a bar with stripers! Seriously ,we are supposed to evangelize. Evil will use EVERY opportunity to spread harm. God wants us to use every opportunity to spread the Gospel. God commanded us to spread the Gospel. I would simply tell the parents, their child attended Mass & had some questions.

If a child asks what kind of bird is that, or what’s the population of a city you simply answer them. It is not wrong, or sneaky to answer a question about God or Catholicism. It is your calling, and purpose in life. If the parents don’t like it, they won’t ask Monk to baby sit again. But he has done nothing wrong.

Take courage friend, you have done the right thing. We must please God before man.
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I would make it very clear to said parents that their child would be coming to Mass with me if I was babysitting though. There are issues when it involves a minor. Any questions that the child asked should be approached “well, what I/Catholics believe is…”. That way you aren’t forcing something on the child against parental wishes.
 
WingsOfEagles said:
I would make it very clear to said parents that their child would be coming to Mass with me if I was babysitting though. There are issues when it involves a minor. Any questions that the child asked should be approached “well, what I/Catholics believe is…”. That way you aren’t forcing something on the child against parental wishes.
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As a parent, I would probably be fine with a babysitting friend or relative taking my child to mass. I totally understand the Sunday Obligation and I think that it’s fair to, depending on the age and maturity of the child, allow them to attend various religious services for education and culture.

But I would feel horribly betrayed as a friend if my trust were abused and over the course of one afternoon my child was taken to mass, had a meeting with a “spiritual director” whom I don’t know and didn’t approve before hand, had these big life questions answered by two adults who do not share my values or beliefs and who did so without me present. To top it all off it was intense enough that one exposure to mass lead to a desire to convert in one day? Sorry, but something manipulative occurred if that was the case.

The above situation is far different from taking a child to mass. It’s systematic, targeted evangelization that takes advantage of the fact that the OP has the child away from it’s parents.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
As a parent, I would probably be fine with a babysitting friend or relative taking my child to mass. I totally understand the Sunday Obligation and I think that it’s fair to, depending on the age and maturity of the child, allow them to attend various religious services for education and culture.

But I would feel horribly betrayed as a friend if my trust were abused and over the course of one afternoon my child was taken to mass, had a meeting with a “spiritual director” whom I don’t know and didn’t approve before hand, had these big life questions answered by two adults who do not share my values or beliefs and who did so without me present. To top it all off it was intense enough that one exposure to mass lead to a desire to convert in one day? Sorry, but something manipulative occurred if that was the case.

The above situation is far different from taking a child to mass. It’s systematic, targeted evangelization that takes advantage of the fact that the OP has the child away from it’s parents.
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I agree with BEL, coming from the other side.

I have been in the position where I have been asked to babysit children whose parents were atheists. Although not on Sunday, my kids have religious books and toys, there are religious pictures on the wall, we pray before meals. I was upfront with the parents about this, told them that their kids would not be forced or encouraged to participate, but it’s something they would witness since they were going to be in my home. We agreed that if the kids had questions I would tell them to ask their parents about it later.

It ended up not mattering because I refused to continue sitting for them for unrelated reasons, but honestly I don’t think I would agree in the future to sit for parents who were seriously opposed to religion like they were (which may not be all atheists). I spent a lot of time worrying because one of them asked me to read me a children’s Bible off the shelf and I would try to get them to pick something else and they didn’t get why, or my son would ask to watch VeggieTales and didn’t understand why it wasn’t ok when the other kids were there too. It was just a lot of hassle.

So if parents aren’t OK with that, I just won’t sit for them. But I make sure they know first.
 
I would simply tell the friends before hand ‘I need to go to church and will have to bring your kid with me’. If the parents are not ok with it then refuse to babysit

I agree with the person who said ‘If the kid has questions they need to take it to their own parents’

Lastly, I would also make it crystal clear that the child would have to behave in mass. I remember as a kid seeing other children who were not use to going to mass giggle because it was the first time they saw something and found it funny. If I brought someone else’s kid to church and they did that, in my presence the parent of that child would scold them, give them a time out and make them apologize to me or else not only would I never babysit again, I would not be that person’s friend anymore.
 
I agree with some of the opinions that no one should ‘force’ the catholic position on children. But I DO think, that when a child asks you about the catholic faith, you should also be the one to answer them. Some say, that they have to ask there own parents. But how will someone who isn’t catholic be able to answer a specific question about the catholic faith? It’s our jobs as catholics to give a good answer. But that’s something completely different than ‘pushing’ information to the child. It’s not up to us to convert someone, but maybe if God opens the heart of someone, so that they become interested and ask a question to a catholic, we should answer them.
 
ScrupulousMonk why are you thinking so far ahead about a “might happen event?” Why aren’t you saying things to your friends now? You might have some influence on them since they are your friends.

Take them some literature and articles about atheists who found the faith and converted. They just may be interested.
 
To All

Wow. I am getting a lot of mixed answers here. I guess I should have posted a poll as well for easier analysis.

Just to clear some things up, the first paragraph is a description of my friends (they are not hypothetical) and the second paragraph depicts a fictional scenario that has yet to occur.

When I mean “persecute,” I mean that they might reprimand and discourage “Jane Doe” from choosing the Catholic faith. After all, they seriously believe Atheism is the “only right answer” and will act with indignation to correct their child. Also, I say “dastardly social conditioning” to convey the fact that my friends are probably not entirely culpable for their chose of beliefs. They may have been influenced by other people (like their own parents or respected thinkers like Richard Dawkins) or been exposed to the “occasional bad apple” that happens to be religious.

I am liking all this (name removed by moderator)ut. It is good to know people are willing to give me an advice on something that has yet to happen. Thank you all so far. I await for more answers.
 
oneofmany said:
ScrupulousMonk why are you thinking so far ahead about a “might happen event?” Why aren’t you saying things to your friends now? You might have some influence on them since they are your friends.

Take them some literature and articles about atheists who found the faith and converted. They just may be interested.
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OP will know the situation better than me, but my atheist friends would not respond real well to this. They might humor listening to me, but they’d at least be laughing on the inside. Sharing little bits about my faith here and there would work.
 
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