What should I do in this situation with my husband?

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FiberZilla said:
Please re-read my post. Nowhere did I condon this behavior. As I stated above, It is sinful! Did you know that pornography revenue worldwide is over 100 billion dollars every year? That is more money than generated by all professional sports combined! Also the divorce rate is approaching 60% Sloth and Gluttony are two of the deadly sins. Lust is yet another. These sins feed on each other. Futhermore, the words “addiction” and “dysfunction” have been slowly replacing the word “sin” for decades. We need to pull our heads out of the sand and stop making excuses. It all gets back to Genesis chapter 3 and the fall of mankind.

The OP’s husband needs to be confronted about his attitudes and behavior.
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I did read your post …again, and it still is insulting however lets move on eh?
 
Regardless of all the other stuff the first thing you need to do is get yourself checked for STDs. If he did sleep around at all he put your life in danger. Once cleared of that I would check the finances, learn what and where everything is then get yourself a good lawyer. You have children to protect and your health and finances should be in good order just in case things in your marriage fall apart. With this guys behavior I would be doubly concerned. He admitted lying about the website for one. Who know what he might do. :rolleyes:
 
Rachel, if I am not mistaken, you have sons too, right? What do they make of all this? Do they get a weird vibe from their dad?
 
Aside from the obvious and very necessary steps of getting to a counselor and getting him tested for STD’s…any man that has enough time to be on dating websites while his pregnant wife works 60 + hours a week is no man at all. He needs to pick up more hours at work or take a second job so that you can get some rest and reduce your own work hours. You have let him make a doormat out of you - and I don’t care how tall you are or how much you weight, no woman should be shaped like a doormat. If idle time is his problem, he needs to put that time towards working and making money so you are not running around like you are.
 
To the OP:
I don’t know why you are putting up with this behavior. You are working 60+ hours weekly with a child and another on the way, plus doing all the housework, plus your husband is (most likely) cheating on you as well as walking all over you. :mad:
I do not agree with some other posters that are against giving him an ultimatum. I’d tell him to shape up and NOW!
No one can use you like a doormat unless you let them. Don’t put up with this.
 
*babyONTHEway, I agree with the above poster. There is an old saying, but it’s a good one…’‘you get what you accept in this life.’’ The longer you continue to accept your husband treating you like this, the longer it will continue. He needs SERIOUS counseling, and I don’t care if you’re pregnant, overweight, whatever…doesn’t matter. He needs to own his problem. And besides, if cheaters only did it because they were unhappy with how their spouses looked…Tiger Woods wouldn’t have cheated. So…goes to show, cheating is more about the cheatER than the person being cheated on. Cheaters will always blame their spouses…always for their poor behavior. While I don’t assume that your marriage has no problems, no marriage is perfect. Not all men deal with things in the way your husband is…your husband’s behavior seems to fit a pattern…he disrespects you, period.

I am not a fan of ultimatums, but I might suggesting talking things over with him saying…’‘things HAVE to change in our marriage, I can’t keep living like this, it’s not healthy for me or the baby.’’ And if he throws a fit…whatever! You need to start looking out for your health and safety, and I do hope your marriage can survive this, but you will continue to have more of the same with him, if you stay silent.

Blessings for you and your baby, I’m concerned about this! :(*
 
I had to read your post a few times.

Your husband, presented with evidence of his adultery and transgressions, instead of asking for forgiveness, blames you because you have gained weight? :mad:

He sounds manipulative.

Do not put yourself in any further danger. Sleeping with him, you are putting yourself and your baby in danger. An STD for a grown-up might be uncomfortable, but are often treatable with antibiotics. They are much more deadly for a baby. 😦

Also, sleeping with him causes you to legally forfeit any adultery claims that you know of. The courts view it as evidence of your forgiveness/ acceptance of his transgressions.

Don’t leave the house, get an order of protection if you need one, he needs to leave!
 
So he has all those hours in the morning to do what while you’re working?

I would trust him as far as I could throw him. When confronted with his online activity, first he plays dumb, then finally admits only as much as he needs to to shut you up. Then denies he did anything else. And blames you.

That kind of man… you could be wafer thin and they’d find another reason to be faithless. Been there done that.

Sounds like you’ve got the drill of being a single mom down pat. He seems pretty much in the way, not helping, but draining what little energy you have left.

I hate divorce. It destroys children. It destroys families. But living with a man who treats you with this much contempt will destroy you also.

I’d see a lawyer. Someone else can correct me if I’m wrong, but you can draw up papers and you have a certain amount of time before they have to be served. You can hold it in reserve and if he fails to get help, work on trust issues and go to counseling with you, you can have him move out and you take custody of the babies and get child support.

If he loved his kids, he’d be kind to their mother.

He needs to see you mean business.

Don’t tell him youv’e seen a lawyer. That’s your own personal arsenal to give you strength.
 
Musician said:
To the OP:
I don’t know why you are putting up with this behavior. You are working 60+ hours weekly with a child and another on the way, plus doing all the housework, plus your husband is (most likely) cheating on you as well as walking all over you. :mad:
I do not agree with some other posters that are against giving him an ultimatum. I’d tell him to shape up and NOW!
No one can use you like a doormat unless you let them. Don’t put up with this.
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Another poster, named Pinkyyyy, had posted back in March about some pretty similar behavior from her husband. She received this advice, which was really the only advice that would yield an improvement in her situation. I wonder what she has decided to do. Often it seems like the easiest or best thing to do is to be patient and hope and pray that things will change. I did this year after year in my marriage. After 17 years and 4 kids, my priest made me set a deadline for leaving. Change is hard, but in some situations, it is absolutely called for.
 
so what happened to babyontheway? is she for real? or not equipped to handle her problem? abusive relationship? God I hope not:(
 
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