What should I do regarding my father?

[chelseyek]

Okay, I kind of have a weird situation and I’m really confused about it. I’m 17 years old and my parents separated a little more than a year ago. I live with my mom and my siblings and my dad is supposed to see us every other weekend. Well, my mom always wants us to tell our dad to leave and that we don’t want to see him (which is kind of true because of some of the bad things that he has done to us) but she wants us to say mean things to him, she calls it “tough love”, so that he’ll get the picture and leave us alone. But this is where I get confused because I don’t want to disobey my mom by not doing what she tells me and I don’t want to disrespect my dad by saying mean things to him. So, what should I do?

Thank you,
Chelsey

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Hi,

You are not obliged to obey you Mom when she tells you to be unkind. Part of her difficulty with your Dad is the result of her own choice. She chose to marry him, after all.

Their marital difficulties is their business and not yours. It is not appropriate for you to intentionally say mean things to either of them since they both are your parents. Your family is in our prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.