What should I do to be happy?

[Don_Ruggero]

I need some spiritual direction I guess.

I’m 29 years old. I have social anxiety disorder and suffer with sexual addiction (impurity with myself). I assent to the teachings of the Church regarding the necessity of sexual purity in every stage of life and I’ve read many books on the subject. I have no friends. I am alone. I hate my sexuality and there’s nothing I can do about it. I hate myself and think it’s just for God to be punishing me like this. I go to confession every week to confess my sexual addiction and feel like God is constantly punishing me for it every day of my life. I’m depressed and feel inadequate in every way and have my entire life to confirm it. I’m a victim of years and years of traumatizing physical and mental abuse perpetrated on me by my father. I cry every day and have prayed for death on occasion.

As a priest, I am very glad to read that you are close to the sacraments. More than just spiritual direction, though, I would suggest you need an integrated address of the profound situations you are confronting.

You write of having social anxiety disorder and I hope this indicates that you are under the care of a good therapist or other health care provider who is helping you with this issue. In my years of experience, the best care plan is when we priests who can provide spiritual help, pastoral counseling, and the sacraments are working in tandem with those who are providing mental, emotional and physical health care to someone who is suffering.

That would be my first concern…to assure that those very needed aspects of your care are being well and truly and competently addressed. Especially when you speak of the level of depression that you do and when you write that you “feel inadequate in every way and have my entire life to confirm it.”

Let me focus on “I assent to the teachings of the Church regarding the necessity of sexual purity in every stage of life.” This is good; it speaks to the fundamental orientation of your will to choose what is right and to seek what is good and true. This tells me that we are actually on more solid ground than you think you are when it comes to where your will is. Stay close to the sacraments and I pray the priest to whom you are confessing is skilled at dealing with all these complex issues where the soul and morality intersect the mind and psychology.

So let me turn back to the other aspect. When a person has experienced significant physical, verbal, emotional and psychological abuse, especially from a parent, this induces many traumas that must be addressed. You’re experiencing that.

I particularly note how you say that you are crying daily and praying for death. I am therefore concerned for you…it leads me to ask if, perhaps, the priest and the others who are in your life in some form of counseling/therapy relationship may not be aware of the depth you are suffering presently. You need to make sure they understand what you are feeling inside but perhaps are not adequately manifesting to them in a way they fully grasp. This needs to be urgently addressed and without delay. I would urge you to reach out to someone who knows you, perhaps the priest to whom you are confessing, and who can help you assess the possibility that you may need more or better care than what you are presently receiving.

“I hate my sexuality and there’s nothing I can do about it. I hate myself and think it’s just for God to be punishing me like this.” This is a misdirected response that I would like to help begin to re-orient: God has created you. God has loved you from all eternity. You exist because of His infinite love. You would not exist but for Him. He needed none of us but, in love and because of love, He chose to create us so that we may know, love, and serve Him in this life and beautiful place of His creation so as to be happy with him forever in the life to come.

God is assuredly not punishing you. No. But you are feeling the effects of suffering that stem from being profoundly wounded across many years. You have not yet had the environment or circumstances that will permit you to thrive and become who God has created you to be. You have gifts God has given you to share with others. It is important for you to move toward a point and a place where you can begin to see yourself actually as God sees you – and you will be amazed beyond words to know and experience the love He has for you as a person.

Please do not hate yourself but know that God sees you as someone not only to be loved but that is loved. You are never alone because He is always with you and loves to be with you. You are literally the apple of His eye. It is important for you to come to have this knowledge and this experience of the God who loves you so that you, in turn, may love Him and also love yourself and see yourself as someone who is lovable. You are worthy of love because you are God’s beloved creation – and your priest can help you discover that through spiritual direction.

We cannot always solve our own problems though. No matter how many books we may read. The sins of humanity were something humanity could not remedy. We needed a redeemer. The Eternal Son of the Father, God, assumed a human nature in order to redeem us. Your sins and your woundedness are not greater than God’s ability to redeem you, and also to heal you and to make you whole.

But, just as when we have a broken leg or we have a raging infection that we can not remedy ourselves, so we need those who can help us heal from the trauma you describe. In this moment you need those who are skilled at dealing with the interior suffering that you are enduring. This is not something I can help you with through an internet forum but I hope that you will reach out to the priest you know and, if not with your current health care providers then through others, you will have care that will help you to come to healing.

 

[Trident_H]

These things are just not enough. I’ve been doing them for years and I still masturbate every day.

If anything I need to GET ACTIVE and meet people. Don’t you think?

How is isolation going to be beaten by praying alone and going to adoration alone? Isn’t there some charity I could go help out with or something?

Please forgive me for saying this, and I mean this with upmost respect for the piety I witness in our elder Catholic brothers and sisters… but I’m not a “little old lady.” I can still do some “heavy lifting” for the Church (if you catch my drift), and that is what I desire to do most. I can do ministry. I can do missionary stuff even… I just need the chance. I just need someone to talk to about when and how and where to get started. I’m serious… If the Church needs me in Kenya, I’ll go… I need something to DO with my life though.

God has made me very very aware that mine is not a vocation to sitting around, since I am way more prone to idleness and masturbation than I am at “picking up a rosary.”

Let me get busy, is all I ask.

There’s got to be more to life than this devotional stuff to FILL TIME before death.

Well Ok. So you’re a man of action. Good. So it looks like you sort of already know what you need to do. Are you just looking for someone here to suggest where the line starts for the over-seas missions? I don’t know. I’m not aware of where that line is either. But have you asked your parish priest to plug you in? I mean there are groups that disappear down to South America where I’m at. And then they come back a few months later all happy that they built a house somewhere.

I mean that’s great stuff. But I’ve never really understood it. I mean there’s a lot of cost in going down there to show off how well we build stuff. I don’t know if that’s really the key to happiness either. Since after you’ve done it. After you’ve built the house. After all that work. You’re then back home again. With nothing but pictures to keep you thoughtful about it for the rest of time.

So maybe instead you might think of doing like some of the others here have suggested. Get arms deep in helping the homeless. Or visit shut-ins (maybe even join the Legion of Mary). Or try for a bunch of non-church charities. I mean no harm in canvasing for the Kidney Foundation. Or something.

I don’t know. They key is to keep busy. I mean it’s not like I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not like a lot of us here haven’t been there. Or aren’t there still. I mean yeah. You can count my winning streak on that score in weeks. 3 currently. Good for me. But I mean that’s progress in my corner. And I take what I can get. And refuse to beat myself up about the rest. Because as long as I know I’m trying. As long as I honestly am. And confess it when I mess up. I know God knows too.

That way I can sort of rely on Him to get me through one more day. Because I can warn him that if He doesn’t. If He forgets to hold me up. We’re gonna have to have another one of our awkward father and son talks down at the confessional again. You know. The kind neither of us really likes. So yeah. I have to remind Him each morning and night that I’m no good at that on my own. Or maybe I have to remind myself of that.

But if you want more help. Stuff like what Josh has offered is pretty decent stuff. I mean just look at the effort he’s gone to to give you that lead. There’s a guy who understands. There’s someone who cares.

Me? I have a bunch of photos of people in a miserable state. Some are victims of war. Some are suffering from disease. Some are orphans. Whatever. The point is that they give me a bit of a focus. I mean they’re great for shaking your self-absorption. They’re great for giving you something more urgent to do. Someone to pray for. Because who can keep an urge going while looking at a little kid missing an arm? I mean who can do that while their heart is breaking for that? I don’t know. So if I can get to my pictures. If I’ve got that wherewithal. Then I’m fine. I’m good. And I’ve got energy to pray for them.

I don’t know if that helps man. I mean you could also join the SA group here. Sometimes just posting there gives you some pretty concentrated advice.

But back to happiness. Here’s a key to that. A key that you’re already fumbling with. So you hardly need my deep insight in this. But really. Well the key is to not seek happiness for yourself at all. The secret’s to give happiness to others. So yeah. Once you forget yourself. Once you dig deep into your soul. And give back in a way. In any way. Happiness is a natural. It just comes right up to you. And sort of hangs around. Sort of settles on you.

So I don’t know if any of that helps. But I’m throwing it out there. Just to sort of reinforce some of the stuff you already know. And to underline some of the things others have already said to you.

But also. The main reason. Is that I’m hoping to make you happy. Even just a bit. So I might glean something from that. And maybe bring some light back into my own life. To keep the darkness at bay just one more hour.

Peace Mark. You’re truly a good guy. To care about this. And to want to change. I’m proud of you for that. Good luck man.

-Trident

 

[littlestsouls2]

Dear Mark,

This post will be somewhat lengthy, but it is important. (Forgive me if it sounds like I am pontificating; I only want to share advice that I have found beneficial).

“Begin in the morning, before leaving your room, by meditating, for a quarter of an hour, on the Passion of our Redeemer, and you will see that, all will go well with you, and that you will live far removed from sin.” (St. Paul of the Cross) For “… there is on earth no remedy against sin so efficacious as the devout remembrance of My Passion, with right faith and true repentance.” (Jesus to St. Bridget). “He who meditates on the extent of My goodness will keep close to Me forever.” (Jesus to St. Mechtilde)

If you want to overcome impurity, you need the Sacraments. You can multiply prayers, meditations and good deeds, but nothing will nourish you as much as Christ Himself in the Eucharist. **There is no substitute for the Bread of Life. **St. Jerome says that salvation is very difficult for adults who do not receive the Eucharist fairly frequently.

Fr. Mueller writes: “A person whom, by a special permission of God, he [Satan] was allowed to harass very much and even drag about on the ground, was exorcised by a priest of our Congregation and the devil was commanded to say whether or not Holy Communion was very useful and profitable to the soul. At the first and second interrogatory he would not answer, but the third time, being commanded in the name of the blessed Trinity, he replied with a howl: **‘Profitable! Know that if this person had not received Holy Communion so many times, we should have had her completely in our power.’ **Behold, then, our great weapon against the devil! “Yes,” says the great St. John Chrysostom, “after receiving the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist, we become as terrible to the devil as a furious lion is to man.”

“Whosoever neglects to prepare for Communion, or who refrains from Communion in order to be freer to do as he pleases, only becomes still more unworthy, and deprives himself of the fruit of so great a sacrament.” (Jesus to St. Gertrude)

As you know, we must be in a state of grace to receive the Eucharist. So it is important for you to make a good confession with the intention of severing impurity at the root; remove the source, whether it be loneliness, idleness or whatever. Do some charity work or something that gets you involved with other people. Don’t expose yourself to near occasions of sin. Put up a picture of Our Lady in the places where you are most tempted if need be. “God pardons sin; but He cannot pardon the will or the determination to sin.” (St. Alphonsus)

Trust in God’s grace. If He has been so merciful with you while you were sinning, you can be confident that He will sustain you in your battle to overcome sin. Do not think that we overcome sin - God does; our part consists in trustful prayer and obedience (which are both an effect of grace).

“God hates nothing so much as when you know you have sinned but do not care, trusting to your other meritorious actions, as if, because of them, God would put up with your sin, as if he could not be glorified without you, or as if he would let you do something evil with his permission, seeing all the good deeds you have done, since, even if you did a hundred good deeds for each wicked one, you still would not be able to pay God back for his goodness and love. So, then, maintain a rational fear of God… Anyone who stands firm stands by the power of God alone. Thus fear of God is like the gateway into heaven.” (Jesus to St. Bridget)

Unless thou hold thyself diligently in the fear of the Lord, thy house shall quickly be overthrown. (Sirach 27:4)

As good and lovable as God is, we cannot love Him without grace. Thank God immensely for the favour that He has given you, namely, the desire to love Him. Be the Saint that God created you to be; He has great plans for you. He clearly loves you very much.

The world needs nothing more than Saints. If we continue to live in sin, we are of comparatively little value to the world. Only if we remain united to Jesus, the Branch - by love - can we be of real use to others. “Observe how birds are snared in birdlime; in the same way souls will stick fast to you, and you will win them to Me for eternity.” (Jesus to Bl. Anne of St. Bartholomew)

You are not alone. Call upon Jesus, Our Lady and the Saints. They are on your side.

“Love Me and you will be happy; and the more you love Me, the happier you will be!" (Jesus to Sr. Consolata Betrone)

You are in my prayers, dear Mark.

 

[josh987654321]

These things are just not enough. I’ve been doing them for years and I still masturbate every day.

If anything I need to GET ACTIVE and meet people. Don’t you think?

Honestly, I don’t think it would and I think it depends on what getting active entails, especially if you try to drown the sins out with distractions only to be flooded with more hardships and temptations. Sometimes there wont be any distractions and then what will you do if you have spent your life fleeing?

I think working at a homeless shelter or volunteering for a charitable cause would be great, but not as a solution or coping mechanism for other vices and sins.

How is isolation going to be beaten by praying alone and going to adoration alone?

You might be surprised.

Isn’t there some charity I could go help out with or something?

I don’t know in your area, I’m sure there would be though.

Please forgive me for saying this, and I mean this with upmost respect for the piety I witness in our elder Catholic brothers and sisters

It’s fine.

… but I’m not a “little old lady.” I can still do some “heavy lifting” for the Church (if you catch my drift), and that is what I desire to do most. I can do ministry. I can do missionary stuff even… I just need the chance. I just need someone to talk to about when and how and where to get started. I’m serious… If the Church needs me in Kenya, I’ll go… I need something to DO with my life though.

God has made me very very aware that mine is not a vocation to sitting around, since I am way more prone to idleness and masturbation than I am at “picking up a rosary.”

Let me get busy, is all I ask.

There’s got to be more to life than this devotional stuff to FILL TIME before death.

I believe the ‘devotional stuff’ like solitude and prayer is a necessity, Jesus spent 30 years in isolation from the world, a humble and unknown existence as a carpenter and after John the Baptist baptized Him, He was lead by the spirit to 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness where the Devil tempted Him (Matthew 4:1-10). And frequently Jesus went away to pray (Luke 5:16) and even called His disciples to do so when they returned after sending them out to evangelize (Mark 6:31).

.

Thank you Father. Thank you Trident H and thank you littlestsouls2 and all of the other posters.

May God Bless You all

What should I do to be happy?

“Love Me and you will be happy; and the more you love Me, the happier you will be!" (Jesus to Sr. Consolata Betrone)

^^

I hope this has helped

God Bless You Mark86

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[on_the_hill]

I haven’t read through all the thoughtful responses.

Here’s a quick fix that helps me sometimes, when faced with anxieties, uncertainties, and overall feeling of distress:

I simply write down the list of things that are bothering me. Just a simple list, not a journal. A, B, C. Or 1, 2, 3.

Then I narrow it down to the most troubling, and start taking steps to deal with it.

I’m also on a prescription med.

 

[Stephen_says]

These things are just not enough. I’ve been doing them for years and I still masturbate every day.

If anything I need to GET ACTIVE and meet people. Don’t you think?

How is isolation going to be beaten by praying alone and going to adoration alone? Isn’t there some charity I could go help out with or something?

Please forgive me for saying this, and I mean this with upmost respect for the piety I witness in our elder Catholic brothers and sisters… but I’m not a “little old lady.” I can still do some “heavy lifting” for the Church (if you catch my drift), and that is what I desire to do most. I can do ministry. I can do missionary stuff even… I just need the chance. I just need someone to talk to about when and how and where to get started. I’m serious… If the Church needs me in Kenya, I’ll go… I need something to DO with my life though.

God has made me very very aware that mine is not a vocation to sitting around, since I am way more prone to idleness and masturbation than I am at “picking up a rosary.”

Let me get busy, is all I ask.

There’s got to be more to life than this devotional stuff to FILL TIME before death.

Hi Mark!

I agree with everything you said. I like to pray, it’s nice, and I never feel bad about praying, but it does not in itself make me happy. What makes me happy? Running, and lifting, and building things, and planting things, and climbing mountains. Also, besides being happy, it’s hard to have impure sexual urges when you’re squatting with 200# on your back, or when you’re on mile 8 of a 10 mile run. So yes, there is more to life than praying, but you need to make the chances you are looking for, they’re rarely going to appear on their own.

The church needs you right where you are. You’re 29. I’m 30. You don’t need to go to Kenya to be a missionary, be a missionary in your town. Someone else mentioned Habitat for Humanity, that too is close to my heart, and I am volunteering on a build tomorrow, and that makes me happy every time I do it. Would you be interested in that? I live in Dover, DE, if you’re nearby, you should join us!

Join a gym, or join a running club, (I’m biased towards athletic activities ) and ask someone with more experience to give you some tips. Find an old friend on facebook and ask if they would like to get together sometime to catch up, or introduce yourself to someone that you’ve always saw at Mass but never talked to.

Making friends is not easy, even though some people make it look easy, it’s something that needs to be practiced, so start practicing.

Feel free to message me if you would like.

Peace

 

[Mark86]

On the importance of being men and women of action:

"What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds." (James 2:14-18)

Therefore, what good is it, my brothers and sisters, if you say “pray and take Communion” as though those things were a solution to the problem in and of themselves, and not a means? Was the Sabbath made for man or was man made for the Sabbath? Is the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass confected for man, or are men confected for the Mass? Suppose someone is struggling with sexual addiction, for example, and you say “Go in peace, avoid temptation and be healed,” but does that suddenly make it so? Unless God wills some miraculous cure, that person is still going to be suffering with a disease (because that is what addiction is).

I was listening to a radio program regarding the “there’s no substitution for the Eucharist” line of reasoning, and I completely agree with it. Even if we had nothing else at all, the Eucharist itself is all that we need. In which case we would have nothing else to do with our lives but sit around eating the Eucharist. But is that all we are? A bunch of “Lotus-eaters”? “Source and summit” yes… but that doesn’t mean that’s all there is. Otherwise all we’d have to do as Christians is drive to Church, eat the Eucharist, and drive home. Drive to Church, eat the Eucharist, and drive home. Drive to Church, eat the Eucharist, and drive home… until we die.

Obviously, the whole idea is what to do AFTERWARDS… and this is something I talk about all the time and other Catholics look at me like I’m an idiot. “What do you mean… After you take the Eucharist? It’s the source and summit of our faith! What else is there for you to do??” Like it’s just some kind of “spiritual pill” you’re supposed to take to stay alive… some drug. I dare say that such a mentality about the Eucharist and about prayer is itself sacrilegious. For what good is following lockstep with liturgical rites and formalities and customs and traditions if you’re not supposed to actually put into PRACTICE the graces that God is giving you in the substance of what you’ve consumed? Is the Kingdom of God about “eating and drinking” ?

So excuse me for wanting to get more involved… but I’ve been a Catholic for two years now and I’ve followed the formulae, I’ve stepped in lockstep, I’ve memorized prayers, I’ve been down before the Blessed Sacrament, I’ve gone back and forth to Church every week only to return each time back to my mundane and pointless life of sin and depravity…

And God is telling me it’s time. It’s time to make a move for once in my life. It’s time to actually LIVE as a follower of Christ… not merely “wait for death” as one.

 

[littlestsouls2]

Hi Mark,

You are right - prayer without action is false mysticism and a perversion of the faith. Yes, the Eucharist is “the Source and summit of the faith,” but this should be understood in the sense that the Church draws all her life from Jesus, and returns to Him as to her final end. The Christian life must be active. God, after all, is “Actus Purus”, Pure Act.

I purchased a book yesterday from Fr. Michael Gaitley, a truly inspiring priest. I stumbled across one of his books that might be of help to you. It is called ‘You Did it to Me: A Practical Guide to Mercy in Action.’ It might be worth a look:

amazon.com/gp/product/1596143045?keywords=michael%20gaitley&qid=1445047034&ref_=sr_1_1&sr=8-1

Pax Domini

 

[josh987654321]

.

As the quip goes, it’s not either/or but both/and.

I believe prayer and reflection is a necessity as Christ counsels and practices many times throughout the Gospels, and like Christ and the Disciples, they didn’t do no works, nor have a dead faith, it was both/and not either/or.

Michelangelo’s Denial of Peter Painting
http://s16.postimg.org/guz9r55yt/DT4190.jpg
Jesus to Catalina:

The Great Crusade of Mercy - loveandmercy.org/Eng-CM-Reg.pdf

(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)

**1) My child, I have prayed for you and for all at Gethsemane; I have not forgotten anyone because all were united to Me in a mysterious but real embrace. I have desired and needed to pray, since I had firmly in mind the fact that, notwithstanding My invitation repeated several times, you would not have prayed as much as I wish. Therefore, I lovingly humbled Myself and I prayed for you as much as the Son of God made man could possibly do.

1. It is example that counts. It is hard for you to follow Me because you do not love Me enough or because [you think] I am indifferent to you, as if I were not your Redeemer, as if your salvation depended not on Me, but on others.
2. If I have said “Pray”, I have also specified to Peter and the other Apostles that they should pray with Me. I knew, and I know what it meant to ask them to pray, and I have offered Myself to keep them company so that praying would be less difficult, more accepted and more attractive.
3. Remember and think about the fact that it was at Gethsemane that I have asked them to pray with Me. I did not ask them to do so Tabor but at Gethsemane, and you should understand why. But if you are not awake, attentive and watching, how can you possibly pray with Me? You are overcome by sleep, and you also will sleep and be assailed by temptation, because you have not accepted My invitation to pray with Me.
4. Ah, Peter, Peter! What an example of human frailty you have left to the world that does not yet understand the great misery you suffered then at that time! You were ready to die for Me and [yet] you put yourself before all, demonstrating the pride you were filled with then. “The others, yes,” you said, “but I will not betray you.” And instead, the others did not fall as low as you fell. They were fainthearted but they did not deny Me as openly, as you have done, My Peter. And why was that?
5. Because you did not remain with Me praying, so My enemy made you fall by making use of some poor people, but above all because of your failure to be united with Me.
6. Peter! Peter of My Heart! Oh, My little and most beloved Peter! Throughout the entire world until the end of time your weakness and My Mercy will be alluded to. But all those who wish to follow Me: reflect on the fact that the triple fall of Peter arose from the vanity that separated him from Me, and which prevented him from praying, because those who believe they need help, do pray, and not those who are vain enough to think themselves strong.
7. What do you want Me to add for you? I have given you an example; I have made clear to you why people fall into the temptation of the flesh and the spirit.
8. Remain with Me. Let us pray together, that is, I will pray in you and for you, since that is really the meaning of My request. I assure you that you will be heard and at the same time, you will be protected**.

Jesus to St. Faustina -

"The cause of your falls is that you rely too much upon yourself and too little on Me. But let this not sadden you so much. You are dealing with the God of mercy, which your misery cannot exhaust." (Diary, 1488)

I hope this has helped

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[Mark86]

As the quip goes, it’s not either/or but both/and.

I believe prayer and reflection is a necessity as Christ counsels and practices many times throughout the Gospels, and like Christ and the Disciples, they didn’t do no works, nor have a dead faith, it was both/and not either/or.

I agree, but I think my problem is I’ve been using the “prayer” card as an excuse not to act. As in, “I don’t need to get involved physically, because sitting at home and praying is so much easier.”

That’s why I get frustrated. That’s why I want to be active. Prayer is good and all, but prayer isn’t going to, in and of itself, cause people to come to me. I got to go to them. God can put people in my path, but I first have to be actually on a path first. Currently I’m not. God helps those who help themselves.

The problem is I just don’t know where to start or where to go, who to contact.

 

[josh987654321]

I agree, but I think my problem is I’ve been using the “prayer” card as an excuse not to act. As in, “I don’t need to get involved physically, because sitting at home and praying is so much easier.”

That’s why I get frustrated. That’s why I want to be active.

Okay.

I just don’t know where to start.

The first place I believe is always prayer. It’s only then I believe He can guide us (Even simply one decade of the Rosary or Chaplet of Divine Mercy a day I believe can be immensely valuable).

How to Pray the Rosary - newadvent.org/images/rosary.pdf
How to Pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy - thedivinemercy.org/message/devotions/praythechaplet.php

I hope this has helped

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[Trident_H]

I agree, but I think my problem is I’ve been using the “prayer” card as an excuse not to act. As in, “I don’t need to get involved physically, because sitting at home and praying is so much easier.”

That’s why I get frustrated. That’s why I want to be active.

I just don’t know where to start.

Yeah. I know how that is. Except for me it was the reverse of that. I was too afraid of God to pray to Him. I was really outside of that. So I kept busy by doing what I could. Instead.

But now I’m praying again. And man if feels good to do that too.

So I think a mixed approach is good. I mean I think a thing where you pray and then push past that.

So you were given some ideas in this thread about what you could do. Do any of those idea have a hold on you? Or are you after some great adventure? Some bold voyage into the heart of the unknown? Because that road’s not for everyone. But if it’s for you. If that’s really what you want out of life. Then what do you need to get there? Make a list. Then work towards it. Or something.

Peace Mark.

-Trident

 

[Mark86]

The first place I believe is always prayer. It’s only then I believe He can guide us.

Like I haven’t prayed. God is telling me in prayer that “sitting around praying” is not going to get things done. I got to move. I got to make changes in my life. I got to pursue a goal. Otherwise I’m just going to sit and do nothing and be sad.

I have prayed, and this is what I know as a result! I have prayed until blood literally did appear on my skin (petechia eye)… I’ve spent so much time in tears on the backyard grass under the night sky… begging and begging and asking and asking, clawing at the ground, crying and straining beyond comprehension… at His feet in complete and utter prostration… desperate for Jesus to direct me… I’ve cried before the Blessed Sacrament… Again and again, I keep getting the impression that I need to do more. That God needs me for more. That I can’t be a peace until I can be more outside myself and more “in the world.” “Ministry” keeps coming to me… and it’s where I need to be… or else I may as well be DEAD.

If you’ve ever suffered depression in your life, you probably should be able to understand where I’m coming from here. The solution to the apathy and lethargy of depression isn’t yet more “sitting around.” It’s to get up, get out, and make a move.

What am I failing to get across here?

I can rattle off a rosary every day and then sit back and say “ah… spiritual stuff done for the day, now I get be lazy all I want.”

I know, because that’s what I do. I’m single… I have time. I have talents. I have a ton of money saved up. I have very little expenses. I have everything of myself to give to those in need… so … why should I stop at “oh just pray a rosary” ? I want to be involved with actual people on the floor, on the ground, making things work in the real world, being Christ for actual people. Is that unreasonable?

Prayer needs to be followed up with action, don’t you think?

So you were given some ideas in this thread about what you could do. Do any of those idea have a hold on you? Or are you after some great adventure? Some bold voyage into the heart of the unknown? Because that road’s not for everyone. But if it’s for you. If that’s really what you want out of life. Then what do you need to get there? Make a list. Then work towards it. Or something.

God has made it abundantly, abundantly clear to me that I am not made for the sedentary path. You can’t force a round peg in square hole. I have to be active. God has filled me with PASSION and drive and more energy than I can expend in a day… and I just need somewhere to start spending it.

Because doing the whole “sit around all week, go to Mass on Sunday” thing is literally torture for me.

I don’t want to practice this work of Christ one day a week on Sundays and then disappear back into idleness and sin for the rest of the week. I want every day to be out there doing active charity in the community.

Is that unreasonable? I think it’s a calling. I need to do this. I can barely contain myself. I have no peace at all, because I need to get active. I need to get out of here. I can’t wait around anymore…

I just wish I could convey to you how deeply I feel this push.

 

[Trident_H]

Like I haven’t prayed. God is telling me in prayer that “sitting around praying” is not going to get things done. I got to move. I got to make changes in my life. I got to pursue a goal. Otherwise I’m just going to sit and do nothing and be sad.

I have prayed, and this is what I know as a result! I have prayed until blood literally did appear on my skin (petechia eye)… I’ve spent so much time in tears on the backyard grass under the night sky… begging and begging and asking and asking, clawing at the ground, crying and straining beyond comprehension… at His feet in complete and utter prostration… desperate for Jesus to direct me… I’ve cried before the Blessed Sacrament… Again and again, I keep getting the impression that I need to do more. That God needs me for more. That I can’t be a peace until I can be more outside myself and more “in the world.” “Ministry” keeps coming to me… and it’s where I need to be… or else I may as well be DEAD.

If you’ve ever suffered depression in your life, you probably should be able to understand where I’m coming from here. The solution to the apathy and lethargy of depression isn’t yet more “sitting around.” It’s to get up, get out, and make a move.

What am I failing to get across here?

I can rattle off a rosary every day and then sit back and say “ah… spiritual stuff done for the day, now I get be lazy all I want.”

I know, because that’s what I do. I’m single… I have time. I have talents. I have a ton of money saved up. I have very little expenses. I have everything of myself to give to those in need… so … why should I stop at “oh just pray a rosary” ? I want to be involved with actual people on the floor, on the ground, making things work in the real world, being Christ for actual people. Is that unreasonable?

Prayer needs to be followed up with action, don’t you think?

God has made it abundantly, abundantly clear to me that I am not made for the sedentary path. You can’t force a round peg in square hole. I have to be active. God has filled me with PASSION and drive and more energy than I can expend in a day… and I just need somewhere to start spending it.

Because doing the whole “sit around all week, go to Mass on Sunday” thing is literally torture for me.

I don’t want to practice this work of Christ one day a week on Sundays and then disappear back into idleness and sin for the rest of the week. I want every day to be out there doing active charity in the community.

Is that unreasonable? I think it’s a calling. I need to do this. I can barely contain myself. I have no peace at all, because I need to get active. I need to get out of here. I can’t wait around anymore…

I just wish I could convey to you how deeply I feel this push.

Yeah. I get that. But you’ve been told to look into Habitat for Humanity. Or to visit shut ins. Or to help the homeless. Or to volunteer at some other places. Do any of those ideas have a hold on you? Have you thought of any of these?

 

[josh987654321]

Like I haven’t prayed. God is telling me in prayer that “sitting around praying” is not going to get things done. I got to move. I got to make changes in my life. I got to pursue a goal. Otherwise I’m just going to sit and do nothing and be sad.

Okay.

I have prayed, and this is what I know as a result! I have prayed until blood literally did appear on my skin (petechia eye)… I’ve spent so much time in tears on the backyard grass under the night sky… begging and begging and asking and asking, clawing at the ground, crying and straining beyond comprehension… at His feet in complete and utter prostration… desperate for Jesus to direct me… I’ve cried before the Blessed Sacrament… Again and again, I keep getting the impression that I need to do more. That God needs me for more. That I can’t be a peace until I can be more outside myself and more “in the world.” “Ministry” keeps coming to me… and it’s where I need to be… or else I may as well be DEAD.

Okay.

If you’ve ever suffered depression in your life, you probably should be able to understand where I’m coming from here. The solution to the apathy and lethargy of depression isn’t yet more “sitting around.” It’s to get up, get out, and make a move.

Okay

What am I failing to get across here?

I don’t know.

I can rattle off a rosary every day and then sit back and say “ah… spiritual stuff done for the day, now I get be lazy all I want.”

I know, because that’s what I do. I’m single… I have time. I have talents. I have a ton of money saved up. I have very little expenses. I have everything of myself to give to those in need… so … why should I stop at “oh just pray a rosary” ? I want to be involved with actual people on the floor, on the ground, making things work in the real world, being Christ for actual people. Is that unreasonable?

No, I don’t believe it’s unreasonable at all and I would say if you have the means, than I would recommend doing so.

Prayer needs to be followed up with action, don’t you think?

Yes, I agree.

If you’ve prayed and sought guidance from God, than I believe only you know the answer and it’s up to you to act on it (so long as it doesn’t go against Christ’s teachings).

I hope this has helped

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[Don_Ruggero]

If you are wanting to be more active, then you should begin with the priest in your parish. There may opportunities there. Or he may know of opportunities thereabout.

You can also contact the diocese, by calling the chancery or pastoral center as it is sometimes called, and asking them about volunteer opportunities. Assuming it is in the range of the average diocese, the opportunities are myriad: Catholic Charities will have opportunities involving the homeless, food pantries, soup kitchens, aid for poor families, outreach to the elderly, outreach to immigrants. Most have some form of prison ministry. There are Catholic schools that need volunteers as well as Catholic hospitals. There are nursing homes where there are patients who never have any visitors. Some work can be manual while other work will be more administrative.

You can contact the religious congregations that maybe in your diocese. Often times, they will have need of volunteers for different projects, too.

 

[Mark86]

Yeah. I get that. But you’ve been told to look into Habitat for Humanity. Or to visit shut ins. Or to help the homeless. Or to volunteer at some other places. Do any of those ideas have a hold on you? Have you thought of any of these?

That’s kind of what I’m asking and why I say I’m not sure where to start. I don’t even know what a “shut in” is, nor would I know where to find one. I hadn’t considered Habitat for Humanity, so I suppose that’s something. I like having ideas.

I like the idea regarding schools. I’d love to do that… I’ve desired for quite some time to become a catechist. I’m not sure how to get going with that though. I have looked in the diocese and see the program they use to train catechists… they do it all online… but I don’t know who I could apply to… I’d love to assist, volunteer, teach… whatever I can do. I just don’t know how to get started, to get in the door, so to speak.

I’ve looked at the St. Vincent de Pauls but once again, I don’t know how to get “in”… if you know what I mean.

Some of the places are a little hard to navigate or they’re outdated. I’ve actually emailed local groups in the past and got nothing in response.

 

[Trident_H]

That’s kind of what I’m asking and why I say I’m not sure where to start. I don’t even know what a “shut in” is, nor would I know where to find one. I hadn’t considered Habitat for Humanity, so I suppose that’s something. I like having ideas.

I like the idea regarding schools. I’d love to do that… I’ve desired for quite some time to become a catechist. I’m not sure how to get going with that though. I have looked in the diocese and see the program they use to train catechists… they do it all online… but I don’t know who I could apply to… I’d love to assist, volunteer, teach… whatever I can do. I just don’t know how to get started, to get in the door, so to speak.

I’ve looked at the St. Vincent de Pauls but once again, I don’t know how to get “in”… if you know what I mean.

Some of the places are a little hard to navigate or they’re outdated. I’ve actually emailed local groups in the past and got nothing in response.

To visit shut-ins check to see if you have a Legion of Mary where you’re at. I think usually they advertise on the back of the bulletin. And I mean that’s probably where you get the contact numbers for the other groups too. If you’re not hearing back from them call the parish office and ask how to rattle their chains. If that doesn’t help contact the parish council. Sometimes they’ve got reps from each group on some board or other. I don’t know much more than that. I mean you could also do some on-line searches for volunteer positions. Usually the local Chamber of Commerce or the City website has some cues to follow. Try some of that. See where it goes.

Peace. And good luck.

-Trident

 

[Mark86]

I first want to thank Trident, Josh, littlesouls, Fr. Don, Stephen, and everyone else who has given me advice in this thread. God bless you one and all. I’m going to try to take your advices to heart and put them into practice.

One of thw difficulties I face, apart from social anxiety disorder, is that I work a very erratic schedule that often makes it difficult to commit to anything (spiritual, secular, volunteer…etc) on a regular basis. My job has me coming home very late (midnight) and there’s nothing much for me to do with myself. At one time I didn’t mind this because it allowed me to not have to deal with human contact much, but in the process it was fuel for out of control sexual addiction… all that time by myself. I just know God is calling me to more than the same old routine.

I’m looking for nearby opportunities for perpetual adoration, so maybe I could potentially at least go to adoration at midnight… it would at least allow me to do SOMETHING with myself on a routine basis. If I can find an all-night adoration chapel, I would go every night for an hour, even if it’s 1am. It’s not like I’m doing anything else at that time anyways. God doesn’t seem to want me to join the young adult group…I got to take what I can get.

 

[Trident_H]

I first want to thank Trident, Josh, littlesouls, Fr. Don, Stephen, and everyone else who has given me advice in this thread. God bless you one and all. I’m going to try to take your advices to heart and put them into practice.

One of thw difficulties I face, apart from social anxiety disorder, is that I work a very erratic schedule that often makes it difficult to commit to anything (spiritual, secular, volunteer…etc) on a regular basis. My job has me coming home very late (midnight) and there’s nothing much for me to do with myself. At one time I didn’t mind this because it allowed me to not have to deal with human contact much, but in the process it was fuel for out of control sexual addiction… all that time by myself. I just know God is calling me to more than the same old routine.

I’m looking for nearby opportunities for perpetual adoration, so maybe I could potentially at least go to adoration at midnight… it would at least allow me to do SOMETHING with myself on a routine basis. If I can find an all-night adoration chapel, I would go every night for an hour, even if it’s 1am. It’s not like I’m doing anything else at that time anyways. God doesn’t seem to want me to join the young adult group…I got to take what I can get.

You’re very welcome. And I mean if you’ve ever found yourself in a spot with nothing to do. Absolutely bored. You could always join me for a game of Guild Wars 2. The trial version’s just fine. Yeah. I never sleep.