What should I do? University Handbook

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Hi guys!

Well, I returned to Uni a few days ago after a long holiday - now in my 4th year doing honours in Philosophy [thanks God for that help!]. Anyway, obviously Orientation Week is starting next week for the new students and they get a ‘Handbook’.

In that handbook there is a whole section on sex - 2 pages devoted to condom use. Not once is there any mention of abstaining. They have condom workshops. No ‘abstain’ workshops. They discuss all the options in table form for ‘contraception’ but never mention respectfully being chaste. There was a section on abortion that hinted that people who think abortion is wrong are bigots.

Now… I was really just thrown back by this. I mean, should I email the Dean of Students here (the handbook is under her supervision) and ask her about this? Should I mention that it is irresponsible and that though she may have excuses, promoting abstinence and chastity should come before the obligatory condom pages.

Just really made me angry reading that garbage. What would a 18 year old girl fresh out of Highschool think reading that? She’ll be convinced that sex is normal and she should do it. Grrr.

Should I say something to my University Dean?
 
I would. It may be too close to opening day to change the handbooks if they are already printed but at least you have made your opinion known. You might even be able to get other students to do the same, or some student organizations to take a stand on the issue so that next semester’s handbook could be changed.

Why should this topic be in the handbook anyway? Students surely have many other sources of this information, like the internet even!! The only reason to have it in the handbook is to show that sexual activity outside of marriage is accepted on campus. Of course, that may be exactly why it’s in the handbook… How sad.

In any case, this is not your attitude or that of other Christian students there. Speak up for your Christian values. Don’t conform yourself to the world.
 
It’s obviously too late to do anything about the main body of the handbook now, but could you offer to organise a printed slip to go inside it, giving the Catholic point of view and addresses/resources to help the students make their decisions?
 
I would mention it, although don’t expect much to change, dont even expect your views to be particularly warmly welcomed. This kind of garbage is in univeristy handbooks everywhere. I know my uni had it, even gave enrolling students a free box of condoms !

One idea might be to write something for the student newspaper, even a letter to the editor. It may not change a whole lot, but at least it is an avenue to share a little bit of morality.

Aside from that, pray !

Bessings,
Steve
 
AussieSteve said:
I would mention it, although don’t expect much to change, dont even expect your views to be particularly warmly welcomed. This kind of garbage is in univeristy handbooks everywhere. I know my uni had it, even gave enrolling students a free box of condoms !

One idea might be to write something for the student newspaper, even a letter to the editor. It may not change a whole lot, but at least it is an avenue to share a little bit of morality.

Aside from that, pray !

Bessings,
Steve
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I agree.

However, you should not come off as critical. Make a “suggestion” that abstainance be added to the handbook, parenthetically noting that condoms do fail from time to time.

The secular notion of sex came into being by incrementalism; we cannot expect to fight it all in one fell swoop.
 
AussieSteve said:
I would mention it, although don’t expect much to change, dont even expect your views to be particularly warmly welcomed. This kind of garbage is in univeristy handbooks everywhere. I know my uni had it, even gave enrolling students a free box of condoms !

**One idea might be to write something for the student newspaper, even a letter to the editor. ** It may not change a whole lot, but at least it is an avenue to share a little bit of morality.

Aside from that, pray !

Bessings,
Steve
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lol, don’t sign your real name if you are going to do that if you don’t want to be outcast. The fact of the matter is that preaching abstinence to college kids is not going to do much. College kids are going to have sex, and if they use condoms there will be less spread of std’s and unwanted pregnancies. You could say there would be even less spread of std’s and unwanted pregnancies is no one had sex at all until they were married, but if everyone lived like Jesus there wouldn’t be sin either.
 
Yes, do whatever you feel motivated to do. I would disagree with those who say not to sound critical, or don’t sign your name, although I do see their point. I would suggest signing your name, and sounding very critical, but most important is to do something. You would be amazed how often if you do speak up they will tell you “Nobody has ever complained about this.” Better one than none. No matter how you complain it will not be perfect, nor will it change this year’s handbook. Better something than nothing.
 
Hopefully, most of the students won’t read the handbook anyway. Most don’t, actually.

But in any case, I would ask if you could have a face-to-face meeting instead of just emailing. You’re more likely to be taken seriously that way. They are not at all likely to remove any of the information that is already there, but you could suggest that they do add a section on abstinence in the next handbook. Offer to write something and send it to her. Make it clear that you think it’s important that students get complete information, and that if they are going to put information in the handbook of this nature, that it’s only fair to give the whole picture. I think that if you present your case in a respectful, thoughtful way, the dean will at least consider your request.
 
Marie682 said:
Hopefully, most of the students won’t read the handbook anyway. Most don’t, actually.

But in any case, I would ask if you could have a face-to-face meeting instead of just emailing. You’re more likely to be taken seriously that way. They are not at all likely to remove any of the information that is already there, but you could suggest that they do add a section on abstinence in the next handbook. Offer to write something and send it to her. Make it clear that you think it’s important that students get complete information, and that if they are going to put information in the handbook of this nature, that it’s only fair to give the whole picture. I think that if you present your case in a respectful, thoughtful way, the dean will at least consider your request.
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Excellent idea.

It’s important too, to realize how dismissable emails are…snailmail takes longer, but someone has to do something with a paper letter whether it be deal with it, file it or throw it away. There’s something about the tactile function of holding the paper in your hand that gives it an advantage over an email.
 
OpenSource said:
Not true with the right education and workshops. Let’s not be lazy about it and lets make it happen.
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It is true. College kids are going to have sex. There really are only a few arguments against having sex and without a strong belief in God that doesn’t like pre marital sex (which most college kids don’t have) the arguments usually fall flat.
 
commoncents said:
It is true. College kids are going to have sex. There really are only a few arguments against having sex and without a strong belief in God that doesn’t like pre marital sex (which most college kids don’t have) the arguments usually fall flat.
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What a fatalistic attitude.

No NOT ALL college students have sex!!
 
Let me preface this next statement by saying that I have not read the handbook in question, and my opinions are not to be taken as an encouragement to subjugate your own views on abstinence.

I think that you may be missing the point of the Handbook. As you said yourself, the Handbook has a section on “sex”. Abstinence is the lack of sex, and therefore would have no place under that particular section.

I would imagine that the Handbook is designed to offer suggestion on ‘safe’ practices to two consenting individuals who have already decided to commit the action. What the Handbook does NOT cover is the MORAL opinion on the subject. Morality is to the discretion of the individual, not the university.
 
commoncents said:
most of the ones that aren’t having sex want to though 😃
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Eventually, when they are married, yes! The DESIRE to have sex is healthy and normal, and is a guarantee our species will continue. So the question is are college students (or anyone, really) animals who have no control over themselves and “rut” at the mere hormonal urging, or they higher moral beings who have a sense of control over themselves and their bodies and actions?

The mature, moral, ethical ones do not “rut”.

Which are you? Proud of your actions? Feel good about your choices? Feel honestly proud of how you treat your partners? Would be be able to sit down with your grandmother and feel good about telling her about your “conquests”? Feel good about taking chances to catch all kinds of diseases?

Be honest with yourself, commoncents.
 
mkinson said:
I would imagine that the Handbook is designed to offer suggestion on ‘safe’ practices to two consenting individuals who have already decided to commit the action. What the Handbook does NOT cover is the MORAL opinion on the subject. Morality is to the discretion of the individual, not the university.
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Agreed. Those who view sex before marriage as wrong won’t have sex, and those who see nothing wrong with it will continue. A university handbook won’t change a person’s mind one way of the other, and I bet over 90% of the students don’t even read the thing anyway.

However, even from a purely secular point of view, abstinence should be mentioned. It is the only way to guarantee no unwanted pregnancies or diseases.
 
commoncents said:
lol, don’t sign your real name if you are going to do that if you don’t want to be outcast.
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Well, I suppose the arguement could be made that we should be brave in standing up for our beliefs, but in any event, most letters just publish a first name, so in any decent sized uni, your chances of being ostracised are limited.
The fact of the matter is that preaching abstinence to college kids is not going to do much. College kids are going to have sex, and if they use condoms there will be less spread of std’s and unwanted pregnancies. You could say there would be even less spread of std’s and unwanted pregnancies is no one had sex at all until they were married, but if everyone lived like Jesus there wouldn’t be sin either.
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No offence, but I hate this attitude. Yes, it’s probably not going to stop many students having sex, but, I still think it’s important that people are presented with it as an option, if for no other reason then to combat the popular, media created image that all uni students have sex, and show that abstainance is, at very least, an option.

Sadly the idea that all uni students have sex is a bit of a self fufilling prophecy (so to speak). We act like they are all going to sleep around, don’t present abstainance as an option, so kids get the idea that being a uni student almost obligates them to sleep around (or at least it does if they want to be considered normal), and, surprise, surprise, lots of them do just that. If we can get abstainance regularly presented as an option, then I think we might see a change in opinions, over time, at least.

Either way, bringing the issue to light can’t hurt.

Bessings,
Steve
 
Thanks for all the replies! Given me a lot to think about and a way of phrasing certain things 🙂 While I agree that the book shouldn’t necessarily speak morally… they need to still have a section on abstaining. If the Religion section can have a write up about Atheism * then the sex section can have a section on abstaining *.

I think I will have to stick to email, our Dean of Students only has one hour a day to see students and I don’t think a Catholic student is going to be on the top of her list.

Oh yes… did I mention that her Advisor is a feminist lesbian atheist? I mean that in the extreme sense. Pamphlets are handed out to promote homosexuality, feminism etc. She’s a very scary lady so I hope my email doesn’t get passed on to her :eek:

As a kind of side note, also in the sex section there were 2 pages dedicated to explaining feminism, dedicated to showing statistics of how men abuse women etc. Nothing was mentioned about male abuse or masculinism. Hmmm.

After Mass today I will see what I can come up with!**
 
Catholic90 said:
Eventually, when they are married, yes! The DESIRE to have sex is healthy and normal, and is a guarantee our species will continue. So the question is are college students (or anyone, really) animals who have no control over themselves and “rut” at the mere hormonal urging, or they higher moral beings who have a sense of control over themselves and their bodies and actions?

The mature, moral, ethical ones do not “rut”.

Which are you? Proud of your actions? Feel good about your choices? Feel honestly proud of how you treat your partners? Would be be able to sit down with your grandmother and feel good about telling her about your “conquests”? Feel good about taking chances to catch all kinds of diseases?

Be honest with yourself, commoncents.
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lol, I love how you assume things about my life. I am happy with my choices because if I did not have pre marital sex my wonderful 2 year old son would not exist. I am now happily married to a wonderful woman and we are both free of diseases.

In terms of the morality of pre marital sex, it isn’t really objectively wrong. It is wrong in a religious context, but it certainly can be argued that it isn’t wrong if you aren’t looking at it from a religious perspective.

And as you said sex within marriage is perfectly normal and healthy but I wouldn’t want to sit down and talk to my grandmother about that either.
 
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