What should I do when I am hurt and confused?

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Lin84

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Good Afternoon,
My Husband and I and our wonderful children recently moved to a new town and love it. We have been invited out to a few church gatherings and are getting know our neighbours. Shortly after our move, my sister (who is 7 years older than me, started dating a man my age, moved in with and shortly therefore became engaged, and are expected to wed soon, all within a year). My only concern with this man is I have known him since I was a child, we were friends growing up and I know of his criminal history and his horrible temper. We have been invited to their wedding and my husband refuses and I really wish I could too. I am happy she is happy, but because it has been such a short time to get to know one another, and because of his criminal history (surrounding children) I feel I shouldn’t be apart of it, but I feel that I would be disowned by my family if I choose not to attend. I feel I am lieing to myself for attending this wedding and disrepecting my husband and children by attending. My sister knows my feelings on their relationship, and still expects me and my children to attend. I have told her my children won’t be attending the wedding. But I feel it is my responsbilities as a sister to go, but my responsbilty as a mother and wife, to take a stance and not attend. It hurts to know my sister is marring a potential dangerous man and my children are not allowed to see him. She has chosen not to visit without him, and he is not allowed to visit because I have children. I just don’t know what do. To Go or Not to Go…
 
Dear friend,

It seems that you do know what to do; you just don’t want to pay the price. It is not your responsibility to go and support your sister in what could easily be a disaster. Ask the Lord for the strength to stand up to your family. This is the crux of the matter. And ‘crux” means cross. Our Lord said that if we prefer our families more than we prefer Him, then we are not worthy of Him. (Mt. 10:37-38) We owe Him the choice of living honest lives and this always means carrying the crosses He sends. He is worth it—and so are all those involved! I encourage you to spend time before Him in the tabernacle and you will receive the strength you need. You are in our prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.
 
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