I know what you guise are saying, it is wrong and I should stop.
But love is all I have in this life, I’m not a materialist, I’m a pacifist, I donate blood/money.
I’ve been depressed lately because the world looks useless, sometimes I question even living.
We as a nation are strong because others suffer, we get all our stuff from cheap labor, we start wars and justify the with meaningless bureaucracy.
We don’t stop genocide in regions like rwanda and darfur, but we invade nations like iraq and justify it with freedom, makes no sense anymore. >.>
My normal state of mind is one devoid of emotion, I pray but I can’t feel, I love god for his creation and don’t blame him for how my
life turned out so far, I know I am better off then most, better off then my ancestors who fled their nation to reach this one.
When I look deep into his eyes, it gives me new life, a life so eloquent like a graceful flower, without him who am I? Just an atom
at the center of a star, looking for a path out. Looking for meaning in this life, looking for gods help.
The feeling is so strong, just want
to hug him and let him tell me it’s okay to be afraid, it’s okay to cry, that this world might be cruel, but there is hope. But if I do that,
as you guise said, I would be living a life of sin. And if I leave him or dis-attach myself from him, I have nothing, I attend church regularly, also have
attended some youth groups, and talked to my priest about this, they’ve said the same, to give it up, to give him up for my faith.
If I do I will enter into an increased state of depression, I can’t have that which truly makes me happy, the person who makes me smile every
time I talk to him, the person who makes me want to do something with my life just to be with them. I give and give, and never get nothing
in return, but that is fine with me because that is what god wants us to do, but the only thing I want is to feel. he brings me happiness.
I am doing better at alot of things because I am confident and happy, but I still have my religion, my faith which tells me it’s wrong
to think of him ‘that’ way. And yes, I do thing of him that way, he almost kissed me once even. |:
I try to go on everyday living my life good, I have never done anything bad to anyone, even if they have done bad to me, I am the nicest person
You could meet, but I can’t even cry anymore because I feel nothing in this world, I do good because it’s in me, but when I do it, I feel nothing.
I have had ‘gf’ in the past, but this is so different, the immense happiness that brings me alive is the same that will bring me to sin.
I don’t know what to do, every time his heart is near mine, I feel all warm and cozzy, alive, feeling like I came back to this world from an unknown
reality. I am young, but I’ve seen and experiences things not many have, I’ve been
abused as a child, been scarred for life, I’ve seen depression at
it’s worst, I’m not rich at all, but I still give what I have. The worst thing I have done in life, be devoid of emotions.
I used to just cry myself to sleep every night, but now I can’t even do that. I looked for comfort in the bible but I don’t get it.
A friend of mine told me cutting myself would make me feel, but even that didn’t work, looking at the blood drip off my arms I saw that it was useless
I didn’t even feel cold, it’s hard to explain, but looking at my family members I know my depression won’t stop because I want it too, my dad takes
anti depressants, my mom is one of the most devout Christians in our whole church but even she is heavily depressed.
I don’t know what to do, if I do one or the other there are immense consequences, it is very confusing.
I’m just a leaf slowly falling from the sky, just waiting for a gust of wind to push me into the right direction.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1Corinthians 13:4-8)
The light of Christ will shine ever more brilliantly because of your unique cross and sacrifice out of love for God, and that’s quite inspiring and cool if you think about it. Paradoxically, your challenge gives you a place of honor and respect over and above us, since, in God’s Kingdom, it is those with the most hardships who are exalted. That is authentically Catholic, and you’ll be a spiritual, well, badass. I hope you don’t mind me using that term, but that’s how awesome it could be - your example, your courage, and your sacrifice could save many souls. That is what we are called to do - to take that narrow road. It may seem tough at first, but it gets easier as you go along because you’ll get tons of exercise on the trek. Those who take the wide road, though, will find that it narrows (as the ways of the world rule over them) while you will find that your road widens (as the ways of the spirit give you authentic freedom, discipline, and control to achieve whatever you want).