What should I do?

[Galnextdoor]

Two young men with autism were going through their mother’s things after she went to live with a relative. The mother also has severe autism. They gave me some things that she left behind that they thought I might like. One of the things they gave me was a box of silver silverware. The box is about a foot and half cubed filled with single pieces of single pattern silverware. There are only a couple of matches in the box. The boys said they can’t imagine why she would have bought only one piece at a time. I accepted the box, but what should I do with it? I am guessing that after the silver went missing, she wasn’t invited back to many parties.

 

[HoosMommie]

Or she may have purchased a box of old and unmatched silverware. Husband and I went to an auction several years ago and one lot was a box of random pattern silverware. I still wish to this day I had at least bid on it.

 

[hannajomar]

Did she shop at thrift stores? I’ve seen single pieces sold there.

 

[Suslar]

My sister used to display pretty single pieces in a rack on the kitchen wall. She picked them up at various antique stores and such.

You could always sell the items if you don’t want/need them and donate the money to autism research or another charity

 

[PatriceA]

Two young men with autism were going through their mother’s things after she went to live with a relative. The mother also has severe autism. They gave me some things that she left behind that they thought I might like. One of the things they gave me was a box of silver silverware. The box is about a foot and half cubed filled with single pieces of single pattern silverware. There are only a couple of matches in the box. The boys said they can’t imagine why she would have bought only one piece at a time. I accepted the box, but what should I do with it? I am guessing that after the silver went missing, she wasn’t invited back to many parties.

Wow, that’s quite a stretch to jump to the conclusion that she stole the silverware. I hope you’re not repeating that conclusion to anybody that is related or knows the mother or the family.

Perhaps she collected silverware?

 

[Anglewannabe]

Does the mother know they gave it to you? It is the mother’s stuff and I suspect if the boys had autism was given to you by mistake.

I would return the box. I would NEVER jump to the conclusion it was stolen. I would jump to the conclusion ‘The poor woman loss half her set’

Angie

 

[Galnextdoor]

The woman has autism. As I understand it, she had a penchant for stocking her linen closets
from the hotels she stayed at. I am not trying to be uncharitable. I did not mention it to the men. What I am concerned about is if anyone will ask any questions if I donate 30 pounds of mismatched silver to the Good Will?

 

[Galnextdoor]

Does the mother know they gave it to you? It is the mother’s stuff and I suspect if the boys had autism was given to you by mistake.

I would return the box. I would NEVER jump to the conclusion it was stolen. I would jump to the conclusion ‘The poor woman loss half her set’

Angie

You don’t the “poor woman”. I do. Don’t jump to conclusions about me jumping to conclusions.

 

[Galnextdoor]

Wow, that’s quite a stretch to jump to the conclusion that she stole the silverware. I hope you’re not repeating that conclusion to anybody that is related or knows the mother or the family.

Perhaps she collected silverware?

Sure. Just like she collected towels from the hotels she stayed in. She was also known to take extra rolls of toilet paper from public restrooms. I am not trying to be uncharitable. If she saw something that was not in a store, she figured it was free to take. She has severe autism that has not improved with age.

 

[Daizies]

You don’t the “poor woman”. I do. Don’t jump to conclusions about me jumping to conclusions.

In all fairness, your further explanation is not an automatic conclusion from your first post. All you said was, she is autistic, then jumped right to theft. Just because a person is autistic does not automatically mean that they steal. The way you worded your first post led people to believe you were jumping to conclusions. That’s why everyone is saying what they are. Your further elaboration then makes it more clear as to why you believe it to be stolen.

 

[Anglewannabe]

The woman has autism. As I understand it, she had a penchant for stocking her linen closets
from the hotels she stayed at. I am not trying to be uncharitable. I did not mention it to the men. What I am concerned about is if anyone will ask any questions if I donate 30 pounds of mismatched silver to the Good Will?

I still stick to my original suggestion. I would give it back to her sons. Just because they gave it to you does not mean you need to accept it.

 

[Galnextdoor]

In all fairness, your further explanation is not an automatic conclusion from your first post. All you said was, she is autistic, then jumped right to theft. Just because a person is autistic does not automatically mean that they steal. The way you worded your first post led people to believe you were jumping to conclusions. That’s why everyone is saying what they are. Your further elaboration then makes it more clear as to why you believe it to be stolen.

They were jumping to conclusions about me just like they were accusing me of doing. I am familiar with the family. The people here are not. I am also familiar with most of the autistic spectrum disorders. I have lived with people who are high functioning, as well as, people who are severe. I have also dealt with it in my profession. I didn’t realize I needed to give my credentials in order to ask what to do with what is in all probability ill gotten gains. I wanted to do something that might somehow be used for something good. It seems the people here are more interested in judging me than making helpful suggestions.

 

[Daizies]

They were jumping to conclusions about me just like they were accusing me of doing. I am familiar with the family. The people here are not. I am also familiar with most of the autistic spectrum disorders. I have lived with people who are high functioning, as well as, people who are severe. I have also dealt with it in my profession. I didn’t realize I needed to give my credentials in order to ask what to do with what is in all probability ill gotten gains. I wanted to do something that might somehow be used for something good. It seems the people here are more interested in judging me than making helpful suggestions.

I think you missed my point. My point is, if you had omitted the last sentence in your first post:

I am guessing that after the silver went missing, she wasn’t invited back to many parties.

then you wouldn’t be having people accusing you of making assumptions. You just seem so angry about it and I was trying to explain rationally why people thought as they did. Ah well, I tried.

 

[JackieMom]

The woman has autism. As I understand it, she had a penchant for stocking her linen closets
from the hotels she stayed at. I am not trying to be uncharitable. I did not mention it to the men. What I am concerned about is if anyone will ask any questions if I donate 30 pounds of mismatched silver to the Good Will?

If it’s all real sterling silver, yes, they will be totally shocked at the donation because 30 lbs. is worth about $11,000-$12,000 right now. You have no proof that the woman stole the pieces. Have the collection appraised, inform the sons of the value, and offer to return it. If they decline, sell it.

 

[Anglewannabe]

They were jumping to conclusions about me just like they were accusing me of doing. I am familiar with the family. The people here are not…

I can understand I you are familiar with them, they you have good reason to suspect it was stolen. However, you did not explain in your first post that this woman had a history of stealing that was well know. That is why people jumped to the wrong conclusions. I think this can all be smoothed out by calm discussion.

 

[PatriceA]

They were jumping to conclusions about me just like they were accusing me of doing. I am familiar with the family. The people here are not. I am also familiar with most of the autistic spectrum disorders. I have lived with people who are high functioning, as well as, people who are severe. I have also dealt with it in my profession. I didn’t realize I needed to give my credentials in order to ask what to do with what is in all probability ill gotten gains. I wanted to do something that might somehow be used for something good. It seems the people here are more interested in judging me than making helpful suggestions.

No, not judging you. Only pointing out the casualness you use when talking about this woman’s supposed crimes. You could be damaging the woman’s and the family’s reputation more than it needs to be. You assume those of us that you say are judging you don’t have experience with autism. If you are a professional that deals with autistic people, I would think you would use a bit more care with your words when describing the woman and the situation. You don’t sound professional, you sound angry and resentful.

People did make helpful suggestions.

 

[jesuspsr]

If it’s all real sterling silver, yes, they will be totally shocked at the donation because 30 lbs. is worth about $11,000-$12,000 right now. You have no proof that the woman stole the pieces. Have the collection appraised, inform the sons of the value, and offer to return it. If they decline, sell it.

I agree here.

jesus g

 

[Galnextdoor]

No, not judging you. Only pointing out the casualness you use when talking about this woman’s supposed crimes. You could be damaging the woman’s and the family’s reputation more than it needs to be. You assume those of us that you say are judging you don’t have experience with autism. If you are a professional that deals with autistic people, I would think you would use a bit more care with your words when describing the woman and the situation. You don’t sound professional, you sound angry and resentful.

People did make helpful suggestions.

Some posters made helpful suggestions after the first posters accused me of jumping to conclusions. Now here you are questioning whether I am a professional who has dealt with and lived with autistic people.
How would you feel if your credibility were questioned? Wouldn’t you be just a tiny bit miffed?
I chose at first not to divulge the woman’s propensity for acquiring things that did not belong to her, because I did not want to scandalize. The people who responded were only interested in the fact that I might be somehow jumping to conclusions, not in the question that I actually asked. The question that I asked is what to do with something that I suspect was illegally obtained. I think by looking at how tarnished it is that the statute of limitations has run out if anyone could prove a crime. I spoke to the one young man about his mother’s propensity to collect things that were not hers. I then asked him to think about where the silver might have come from. He told me he did not want anything to with the silver. He told me he never wanted to see it again. He said that money from it would be like Judas money. I’ve decided to throw it in the trash. You can say that I have jumped to conclusions or that I am an evil person for talking to him about it. I should have simply thrown it in the trash as soon as I received it without saying anything to anyone.