What should I have done when a homeless girl stole my clothes?

[joshsprincess]

My 19-year-old brother lives with me and brought over an 18-year-old girl last night to hang out with. The girl was homeless, but I didn’t say anything and just let them hang out. My brother cooked her food, watched movies with her, hung out, etc. … and she ended up falling asleep here. I was in my room studying today and noticed one of my shirts in her backpack. I looked more and ended up finding five of my shirts in there, so I took them out. I ended up telling them both they had to leave because my boyfriend’s parents were coming over soon (which was true). The girl went through her backpack and noticed I had taken my shirts back and turned bright red. She didn’t say anything about it and I didn’t say anything to her. For some reason I feel really bad about taking the shirts back and making them leave. I have tons of shirts and would have given her some clothes if she just would have asked. I just don’t want people to steal from me. What would you have done in this situation (said something, let her keep the shirts)? My brother should be back around 10 PM tonight and might bring her. What should I do?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

There is a famous scene in Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables in which Jean Valjean is dragged by the police to a bishop after they find out he stole silver plates from the bishop. The bishop tells the police that the plates were a gift to Valjean and that he had intended to give Valjean a pair of silver candlesticks as well. As he passes Valjean the candlesticks, the bishop tells him in an aside, “See in this some higher plan. You must use this precious silver to become an honest man.”

While it is entirely understandable why you were upset at discovering the theft, and while you were not wrong to take back your property – especially since you did so in a way that might have avoided embarrassing her if she had not noticed the shirts were retrieved before she left – it might have been better to have let her keep the shirts, particularly since you did not need them. Yes, it would have been nice to have been asked, but begging can be difficult for a saintly friar, never mind a homeless teenager.

At this point, there is no need to mention the incident. But if your brother returns with his friend, you might tell her that you were thinking of clearing out some room in your closet and ask her if she would like to look through your clothing to see if there is anything she would like and can use.