What Should I Pray for now?

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Nelka

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If my wife is really that unhappy being married to me now should I continue to pray for our marriage and peace in our family or should I just pray that she and the children are happy even if that means the family breaking up. I don’t want out family to break up but if she is unhappy and I am praying for our marriage to be repaired then isn’t that making her more unhappy or am I looking at it all wrong?

Thanks.
 
I’m not Catholic, but maybe you could pray for your wife to find happiness within your marriage?

Lou
 
If you don’t want your family to break up, do whatever you have to prevent that. As well as pray.
 
Go back to basics and pray for God’s will. Or even pray ‘God what should I pray for’
 
Pray for God’s blessing on your family. You should be seeking family counseling. If you are a caring and loving husband and father, your wife and children will not be happier without you; rather, the opposite.
 
PaulfromIowa said:
Pray for God’s blessing on your family. You should be seeking family counseling. If you are a caring and loving husband and father, your wife and children will not be happier without you; rather, the opposite.
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This^^
 
Lou2U said:
I’m not Catholic, but maybe you could pray for your wife to find happiness within your marriage?

Lou
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This is an excellent post and a very Catholic way of looking at it! 👍
 
She just told me she hopes I get run over.

This is the worst in nearly ten years together.

She really wants me gone.

I don’t want to lose them but I think it’s the end.
 
Nelka said:
She just told me she hopes I get run over.

This is the worst in nearly ten years together.

She really wants me gone.

I don’t want to lose them but I think it’s the end.
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Ouch, I am so sorry to hear that. Perhaps getting your own apartment for a while and a separation (hopefully temporary) would be a good break to get a new perspective
 
Pray that God may give you wisdom, courage, and love to lead your family. Pray that He may amend your weaknesses with His strrength.

Pray for your wife’s change of heart.

Unless you have reason to fear for your or your children’s safety, don’t pray for the destruction of your family.

Frankly, I disagree with the whole separation idea. Maybe some people on here have had good experiences with it, but every time I hear of a separation, it leads to divorce and brokenness. Don’t leave your house or your bed if you possibly can!
 
PaulfromIowa said:
Pray for God’s blessing on your family. You should be seeking family counseling. If you are a caring and loving husband and father, your wife and children will not be happier without you; rather, the opposite.
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Well stated.
 
Nelka said:
She just told me she hopes I get run over.

This is the worst in nearly ten years together.

She really wants me gone.

I don’t want to lose them but I think it’s the end.
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Sounds like the communication has broken down. Surely she didn’t mean it.
IS there someone who can mediate for you two…permitted each to speak freely and confidentially without anger?

The priest? Someone?
 
As to prayer, you could pray that God’s will be done.

If you haven’t tried it already, there’s marriage counseling. If she doesn’t want that, there’s individual counseling which you probably could probably benefit from. Your call, though.
 
Nelka said:
She just told me she hopes I get run over.

This is the worst in nearly ten years together.

She really wants me gone.

I don’t want to lose them but I think it’s the end.
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Is she leading up to, or in the throes of menopause? This is a time of hormonal madness.

It would be very helpful to have counselling support for yourself at the moment and if this is a sudden change in her, try not to take anything too personally.

Really hoping and praying for you, Nelka.
 
I was listening to something recently about why more separations happen at Christmas time than any other time. There is a pressure at Christmas to be happy and loving and unified as a family and that expectation can push someone to leave when they are already struggling to just stay. It can help to make Christmas more low key… for a Christian we can focus on the quietness of the night of Jesus birth and the material starkness of the surroundings of the nativity. It doesn’t mean calling off Christmas, but just not trying to force anything unnatural in regards relationships.
 
The problem now is I have been thinking much about what she said and maybe it would be better if I was dead. Strange how the mind works when I walk down the road and I see all the vehicles differently to before.

I wouldn’t kill myself as I know what would await me but I have never been so depressed and sad before. She would never apologise for what she said whether through pride or maybe she really does mean it.

It’s affecting my work and my sleep.

😦
 
You are valuable, Nelka, it’s deep hurt that makes you doubt that.
Your wife isn’t in a balanced place where she can dictate what you’re worth. She’s treating you and speaking to you without love.
She’s the one who is degrading her own worth by being so horrible to you.
It’s emotional abuse, what she is doing.

I’m praying for you and your children.
Your children need to learn about love from their Dad, so you have an important role.
Your wife doesn’t know how to love or she wouldn’t want you dead and batter you emotionally. Don’t let her negativity win. Know you are precious in God’s eyes.
Sure you’ve potentially made mistakes, who knows, and you’re probably not perfect, but none of us are.

Pray for the triumph of love. Pray your children will be protected from growing up without understanding real love. Pray for God to help each of you to be who you are created in love to be. No mater what happens, you are precious unique son of the Eternal Father, redeemed by His Son
 
Well my wife went upstairs as she was tired for a lay down which is fine and I dealt with the children and cooked dinner. A nice piece of fish each and potatoes etc. I thought I would take her dinner and a nice cup of tea up to her and she grumily said she didn’t want it. She could have said that earlier.

Anyway, this has been the worst Christmas and worst December in the ten years we have been together, I feel bad for the children who are very excited, I guess they are too young to notice these things but I feel I should just give up with her. I have prayed much about our marriage and at times it seems things are getting better and then back to how they were.

I don’t understand how she pretends to be the injured party and me the monster, I have never spoken to her the way she has to me, never shouted or argued with her.

I can’t wait for Christmas to be over now, I used to love it so much. I just hope this doesn’t spill over into the new year.

:imsorry:
 
Nelka said:
Well my wife went upstairs as she was tired for a lay down which is fine and I dealt with the children and cooked dinner. A nice piece of fish each and potatoes etc. I thought I would take her dinner and a nice cup of tea up to her and she grumily said she didn’t want it. She could have said that earlier.

Anyway, this has been the worst Christmas and worst December in the ten years we have been together, I feel bad for the children who are very excited, I guess they are too young to notice these things but I feel I should just give up with her. I have prayed much about our marriage and at times it seems things are getting better and then back to how they were.

I don’t understand how she pretends to be the injured party and me the monster, I have never spoken to her the way she has to me, never shouted or argued with her.

I can’t wait for Christmas to be over now, I used to love it so much. I just hope this doesn’t spill over into the new year.

:imsorry:
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I’m so sorry, Nelka.

Would your wife be open to some counselling? Hopefully she will. I know it’s not much use, but until then, just carry on with what you are doing, and focus on your children.

Lou
 
Lou2U said:
Would your wife be open to some counselling?
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No chance!

It got worse, as we had woken the children and were putting coats on for Midnight Mass it became hellish, my wife was telling me that it’s over, that she was leaving with the children and the plane tickets had been booked (her parents live in a different country) and then put them back in bed. She told me I had ruined her life. I worried that I would come home from work one day to find them gone so I had to hide the children’s passports.

Why has this happened? I have prayed so much this month for our marriage.

I am in despair now.
 
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