What should I say at the beginning and end of Confession?

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Batfink

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I know this sounds really stupid, but I could do with some help…

My SD always does Confession this way and I never know what to say at the beginning or end!

So, it starts out with him making the sign of the Cross
then I say “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”
Then, mid-breath, before I can go on, he jumps in with something along the lines of:
“May the Lord open your heart and your lips to make a good confession.”
Then I carry on with “It has been two weeks since my last confession.”

So, am I jumping in too fast with my “Bless me…” and he wants to say the lips thing first, or does he always intend to say it between those two sentences and I should just pause to let him?

Then follows a standard confession with the new form absolution and the old form prayer at the end (“May the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ…”). Fine. All going well at the moment…

But after that, he says another exhortation and I’m confused about how to respond to it. I can’t remember the exact words but it starts off being about ‘you are forgiven, go in peace’ etc, so I feel I should respond “Thanks be to God” but then at the end he says “and pray for me, a sinner” so Thanks be to God seems inappropriate and maybe I should just go with Amen. I have been saying Thanks be to God thus far but it seems a bit off since it immediately follows the priest’s admission of his own sinfulness! Any thoughts?

😊
 
Batfink said:
My SD always does Confession this way and I never know what to say at the beginning or end!

So, it starts out with him making the sign of the Cross
then I say “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”
Then, mid-breath, before I can go on, he jumps in with something along the lines of:
“May the Lord open your heart and your lips to make a good confession.”
Then I carry on with “It has been two weeks since my last confession.”

So, am I jumping in too fast with my “Bless me…” and he wants to say the lips thing first, or does he always intend to say it between those two sentences and I should just pause to let him?
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You asked him to bless you, so that’s what he did. 😉 That’s the “May you…” the priest is saying. My priest says it in Latin as the penitent is entering the Confessional, which makes the “Bless me Father” seem kind of redundant. You don’t say that part. From what I read, you’re fine.
But after that, he says another exhortation and I’m confused about how to respond to it. I can’t remember the exact words but it starts off being about ‘you are forgiven, go in peace’ etc, so I feel I should respond “Thanks be to God” but then at the end he says “and pray for me, a sinner” so Thanks be to God seems inappropriate and maybe I should just go with Amen. I have been saying Thanks be to God thus far but it seems a bit off since it immediately follows the priest’s admission of his own sinfulness! Any thoughts?
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Not really. I’ve never had a priest ask me to pray for him after Confession. Mine says, “Go in peace; God bless” to which I reply “thanks”. I wouldn’t get too hung up on it.
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
You asked him to bless you, so that’s what he did. 😉 That’s the “May you…” the priest is saying. My priest says it in Latin as the penitent is entering the Confessional, which makes the “Bless me Father” seem kind of redundant. You don’t say that part. From what I read, you’re fine.
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Thank you, I hadn’t thought of it like that before. Excellent!
Not really. I’ve never had a priest ask me to pray for him after Confession.
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Wow, I’m surprised you’ve never heard it … it makes me wonder whether I’ve been subconciously selecting a certain type of priest since I’ve had it loads of times, maybe with about 50% or more of priests I’ve confessed to! My SD is only unusual in tacking it onto a blessing/dismissal type thing, they usually just say it right at the end, like “Go in peace and pray for me, a sinner.” in which case I respond “Yes, I will. Thank you, Father, goodbye.” Hmm, I wonder where they picked it up from if it’s not a universal thing.
 
It sounds to me like you’re kind of jumping the gun on starting your confession. Particularly when I’m with my spiritual director (as opposed to going to a confessional on a Saturday afternoon), he starts with the Sign of the Cross and a short prayer for a good confession. When he stops talking I start listing my sins.

To me it seems like starting with “Bless me, Father…” is unnecessary when he’s sitting right in front of you. And especially when the whole thing has started with something like “good morning” and 'have a seat." “Bless me, Father…” always seemed like a way of letting the priest behind a screen know you were there and ready to start. I also skip how long it’s been since I’ve been to confession since he was there and already knows. I think that’s more useful information for a priest who doesn’t know you and doesn’t know if you go to confession regularly or perhaps just once or twice a year.

I’m a cradle Catholic and I’ve never had a priest ask me to pray for him at the end of my confession. I always get something like “your sins are forgiven, go in peace.” I suppose if the priest asked me to pray for him I would adjust my response to something like “I will.” In other words, I wouldn’t use rote words to respond, I would respond according to what the priest actually said.
 
I always try to say “Thank you Father” at the end. He has just given me a great gift.
 
Batfink said:
I know this sounds really stupid, but I could do with some help…

My SD always does Confession this way and I never know what to say at the beginning or end!

So, it starts out with him making the sign of the Cross
then I say “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”
Then, mid-breath, before I can go on, he jumps in with something along the lines of:
“May the Lord open your heart and your lips to make a good confession.”
Then I carry on with “It has been two weeks since my last confession.”

So, am I jumping in too fast with my “Bless me…” and he wants to say the lips thing first, or does he always intend to say it between those two sentences and I should just pause to let him?

Then follows a standard confession with the new form absolution and the old form prayer at the end (“May the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ…”). Fine. All going well at the moment…

But after that, he says another exhortation and I’m confused about how to respond to it. I can’t remember the exact words but it starts off being about ‘you are forgiven, go in peace’ etc, so I feel I should respond “Thanks be to God” but then at the end he says “and pray for me, a sinner” so Thanks be to God seems inappropriate and maybe I should just go with Amen. I have been saying Thanks be to God thus far but it seems a bit off since it immediately follows the priest’s admission of his own sinfulness! Any thoughts?

😊
Click to expand...
Bless me father for I have sinned; it has been ( however long it’s been) since my last confession and these are my sins:

Tell him all your sins. Remember, it’s ok to get your point across. Once you’ve confessed all your sins you say, " for these and any other sins that I cannot recall, I ask forgiveness.

Then be quiet and let the priest speak. Take all your other cues from him. Don’t forget to carry out your pennance.
Whether that’s a few Hail Marys and Our Fathers or whatever. Very important to follow through with the pennance imposed.

Your last word should be Amen. When he absolves you.
 
Batfink said:
I know this sounds really stupid, but I could do with some help…

My SD always does Confession this way and I never know what to say at the beginning or end!

So, it starts out with him making the sign of the Cross
then I say “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”
Then, mid-breath, before I can go on, he jumps in with something along the lines of:
“May the Lord open your heart and your lips to make a good confession.”
Then I carry on with “It has been two weeks since my last confession.”

So, am I jumping in too fast with my “Bless me…” and he wants to say the lips thing first, or does he always intend to say it between those two sentences and I should just pause to let him?

Then follows a standard confession with the new form absolution and the old form prayer at the end (“May the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ…”). Fine. All going well at the moment…

But after that, he says another exhortation and I’m confused about how to respond to it. I can’t remember the exact words but it starts off being about ‘you are forgiven, go in peace’ etc, so I feel I should respond “Thanks be to God” but then at the end he says “and pray for me, a sinner” so Thanks be to God seems inappropriate and maybe I should just go with Amen. I have been saying Thanks be to God thus far but it seems a bit off since it immediately follows the priest’s admission of his own sinfulness! Any thoughts?

😊
Click to expand...
Here is a PDF of the Rite of Penance (1974):

sfdeafcatholics.org/THE_RITE_OF_PENANCE.pdf

ourcatholicfaith.org/confessionhowto.html
 
Batfink said:
But after that, he says another exhortation and I’m confused about how to respond to it. I can’t remember the exact words but it starts off being about ‘you are forgiven, go in peace’ etc, so I feel I should respond “Thanks be to God” but then at the end he says “and pray for me, a sinner”
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When a priest asks me to pray for him, I respond “I will. Thanks be to God.”
 
Batfink said:
Thank you, I hadn’t thought of it like that before. Excellent!

Wow, I’m surprised you’ve never heard it … it makes me wonder whether I’ve been subconciously selecting a certain type of priest since I’ve had it loads of times, maybe with about 50% or more of priests I’ve confessed to! My SD is only unusual in tacking it onto a blessing/dismissal type thing, they usually just say it right at the end, like “Go in peace and pray for me, a sinner.” in which case I respond “Yes, I will. Thank you, Father, goodbye.” Hmm, I wonder where they picked it up from if it’s not a universal thing.
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It is extremely common. One has only to look at devotional books, particularly older ones, as they frequently refer to praying for the priest after confession. I was taught to always pray for the confessor and for the departed, regardless of my penance, and whether or not the priest asks for prayers.
 
zenith15 said:
And if the priest NEVER gives you a penance–no matter what?
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Some people might be fine with that. If you’re not, then you could either talk with him about it or else find another confessor.
 
**Catechism of the Catholic Church
**
Satisfaction

1459 Many sins wrong our neighbor. One must do what is possible in order to repair the harm (e.g., return stolen goods, restore the reputation of someone slandered, pay compensation for injuries). Simple justice requires as much. But sin also injures and weakens the sinner himself, as well as his relationships with God and neighbor. Absolution takes away sin, but it does not remedy all the disorders sin has caused.62 Raised up from sin, the sinner must still recover his full spiritual health by doing something more to make amends for the sin: he must “make satisfaction for” or “expiate” his sins. This satisfaction is also called “penance.”

1460 The *penance *the confessor imposes must take into account the penitent’s personal situation and must seek his spiritual good. It must correspond as far as possible with the gravity and nature of the sins committed. It can consist of prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service of neighbor, voluntary self-denial, sacrifices, and above all the patient acceptance of the cross we must bear. Such penances help configure us to Christ, who alone expiated our sins once for all. They allow us to become co-heirs with the risen Christ, "provided we suffer with him."63

The satisfaction that we make for our sins, however, is not so much ours as though it were not done through Jesus Christ. We who can do nothing ourselves, as if just by ourselves, can do all things with the cooperation of “him who strengthens” us. Thus man has nothing of which to boast, but all our boasting is in Christ . . . in whom we make satisfaction by bringing forth “fruits that befit repentance.” These fruits have their efficacy from him, by him they are offered to the Father, and through him they are accepted by the Father.64
 
zenith15 said:
But isn’t penance supposed to be an essential element of confession?
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You’ve been absolved even if he didn’t give you penance.

If this is happening time after time – as opposed to his forgetting once – then why don’t you ask him about it? No one here can bring about a change in the confessional.
 
I remember something about it not being required to say an act of contrition in the confessional. My Priest usually mentions you to say it. Actually, in preparation for your confession you have no doubt , beforhand, asked God for forgiveness in sorrow and contrition and always after leaving the confessional. Peace, Carlan
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
You’ve been absolved even if he didn’t give you penance.

If this is happening time after time – as opposed to his forgetting once – then why don’t you ask him about it? No one here can bring about a change in the confessional.
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I did. He said he felt it was unnecessary but would give one if the parishoner specifically requested one.
 
zenith15 said:
I did. He said he felt it was unnecessary but would give one if the parishoner specifically requested one.
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Then I guess your choices are to ask for a penance or find a confessor who gives one.

In some ways this is a weird sacrament. It’s done out of the public eye and priests can do things (changing the words of absolution, for example) that leave people wondering if their confession was valid. A sacrament that should bring peace ends up being a source of anxiety instead. Honestly, if my interaction with a priest in confession left me feeling uneasy, I would find a different priest in the future.
 
Batfink said:
Thank you, I hadn’t thought of it like that before. Excellent!

Wow, I’m surprised you’ve never heard it … it makes me wonder whether I’ve been subconciously selecting a certain type of priest since I’ve had it loads of times, maybe with about 50% or more of priests I’ve confessed to! My SD is only unusual in tacking it onto a blessing/dismissal type thing, they usually just say it right at the end, like “Go in peace and pray for me, a sinner.” in which case I respond “Yes, I will. Thank you, Father, goodbye.” Hmm, I wonder where they picked it up from if it’s not a universal thing.
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JL: I have had priests, at the end of confession, say pray for me. I view it as an act of humility and solidarity that no one is alone in struggling with temptation. We ALL are in need for others to pray for us. Especially those in positions of leadership. I hope you do say a prayer for all priests especially those who ask.
 
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