What should you do if your penance is too difficult?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Holly3278
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
H

Holly3278

Guest
Hey everyone. I need some advice. I went to Confession last Thursday and my priest wanted to give me a penance of a week without the internet but I begged him for a lesser penance because I didn’t feel like I could handle going without the internet for an entire week. He gave me a penance of going without the internet for 4 days instead. Sadly, I only made it about 2 days before I failed in my penance. The reason why it is so hard for me is because I have an addiction to the internet. My counselor has told me in the past that I should never quit using the internet cold turkey or even dramatically reduce my usage of it because it would have a bad effect on my depression. What should I do?
 
Holly, you are under the care of a mental health professional. Listen to them.

Your priest meant well, but it was not an appropriate penance for you. He likely did not understand your mental health challenges.

If a priest tries to give you a penance related to the internet in the future tell them you are under the care of a therapist and cannot have a penance related to the internet as that is part of your mental health issues. Ask for a prayer you can say as your penance.

Your absolution is not contingent on the penance. You made a good faith effort, there is nothing more to do regarding the penance from your past confession. Be at peace.
 
You can also ask another priest to assign a different penance after explaining your situation to him.
 
Offer it up to God. He stay on the Cross for three hours for your salvation.
 
I’d talk to a priest about this. I’m addicted as well and went through depression depending on it. Maybe this is a good thing though to give up the internet and focus on other things instead (like prayer!) because think of it. The lesser time you spend on the internet the more you can pray for God to take away your depression. 🙂
 
Talk to your priest. If you truly have a diagnosed addiction and you made it 2 days, then that’s good, it’s a start. Maybe next try, you can do 3 days.
 
Thank you, everyone, for your advice. I really appreciate it. I am going to Mass this morning and hopefully Confession as well. I will speak with my pastor about it then.
 
Perhaps when you talk to your priest have a suggestion… like giving up one site, start with one you use but isn’t your main one and work up to your main one. For a smaller amount of time, say a day at a time and see how it goes? Maybe, even start with little limits, like no internet after 8pm or before midday etc… but pick times that you do actually use it. Start small and build up to a day, a week etc. Also, you could spend some of your internet time in prayerful things, such as liturgy of the hours, saying the rosary or reading the scriptures… maybe an hour a day? then you can incorporate some ‘good’ into this addiction and change it into a positive experience. Good luck
 
It depends what one were using the internet for. For example. Some people use the internet to view pornography. In this particular case, I would suggest that a priest would be justified in giving a penance such as you describe.
 
Last edited:
BenDavidWest, God bless your heart! I’d probably go mad if I tried to do that tbh LOL, but I might try it just so I can get closer to Jesus.
 
Mark121359 - you’re very much correct. That’s why if I do try to give up the internet I’ll have to make exceptions for homework sites 😂
 
One idea is the next time you go to confession, go to a different priest, explain to him the penance that your other confessor gave you and why you find it unreasonable, and request him to commute your penance to something else.
 
Hey, everyone. When I went to my next Confession I let my priest know that I was unable to do the complete penance and he gave me an easier penance that time.
 
Personally I’d do the penance. I have been to confession many times & never has the penance ever fit the crime. We get off very easy in today’s Church compared to the “olden days”. Besides, we offend God, deserve hell as a result, then get something as easy as no internet for a week? Easy-peasy as my youngest granddaughter would say. I have never been given that particular penance, but if I had been I think I would read a good spiritual book or say an extra rosary or St. Michael’s chaplet. Perhaps (I admit I as surmising) that was the idea.
 
Holly3278 said:
Hey, everyone. When I went to my next Confession I let my priest know that I was unable to do the complete penance and he gave me an easier penance that time
Click to expand...
That’s great Holly. Listen to your priest AND your therapist. Don’t be afraid to speak up if something your priest tells you to do conflicts with something your therapist tells you to do, and vice versa. Your priest means well, but doesn’t know the details of how your therapist is guiding you on this matter. Your priest can always give you a different penance if you ask.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top