What the heck is wrong with me?

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george4072

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why can’t i get out this mess i’m in? I have been cruely crippled with shyness with God to the point where i can’t do anything socially worth a damn. everybody else in my school is flying in and out of relationships, and yet i look like a retard on the sidelines with my f-ing cystic acne i got plagued with God with. and my hoorrendous deep voice to the point where no one can understand me.

why can’t God just kill me now?
 
Are you in high school or college? That kind of changes how I would respond.

Sounds like you’re really frustrated about your shyness. Not medical advice, but have you checked out being evaluated for a social anxiety disorder? Getting on medication has really changed my life and outlook for the better. And talking to a counselor might be a good idea - you seem very angry at yourself.

Cystic acne SUCKS. My husband had a terrible case of it as a teenager. He always tells me how much it hurt and how awful it made him feel. His went away when he came to college, so there IS HOPE. He also says that having it made him really shy, and it was hard to talk to girls. It affected his whole life - the way he viewed himself, and hence the way others viewed him. Sounds like you’re going through a lot of the same feelings.

It gets better, I promise.
 
Sounds like you’re in high school. Just remember, “and this too shall pass away.” I had extreme anxiety and cystic acne in high school but everything just kind of just went away. Don’t worry about success with the opposite sex the most important thing is that you meet somebody holy and special. I’ve never kissed or even dated anyone other than my wife. It just sounds like you’re going through an awkward phase.
 
The point of dating, for a Christian, is to find a spouse. Are you ready to be married, support a family and be a dad? If not, then, put dating out of your mind until you are ready.

For your physical issues, look at the lives of the Saints.

Many many many people deal with illness or disease or deformity, how they bear that cross is what is important. Read about Saints who had physical problems, Bl. Margaret of Castello comes to mind, read about St. Fr. Damien.

Get out and do some volunteer work, helping those who are really bad off (maybe visit a burn hospital, a cancer ward, a hospice) or working with the poorest of the poor in a soup kitchen, it makes you appreciate every thing you have.
 
You sound a lot like how I was in high school. I was very shy, had acne, and as a girl it made it all the worse because girls are supposed to be skinny, pretty, and popular, right?

I just chose to lose myself in the church I was attending. I started going to service twice a week, hanging out with the leadership and helping around the building. I found friends in the church and adult members to be mentors. Because of the social interaction I started doing better, and when I got in to college I realised that a lot of people felt the same way I did, and it’s very normal to feel that way as a teen. I’d advise just getting involved in a ministry that you feel called to in your church.
 
ah yes, BTDT

the acne is a medical problem. it needs to be treated medically. as a note: Seal, the singer? his scars are form Acne… he looks good anyway, doesnt he? and i know many people who had cystic acne and they dont even have a mark…

shyness? well. part of that is the acne, i know. its hard to have “pizza face” when you are still developing your self image. i assure you it gets easier.

God didnt do this to you. its not a personal attack on you. it can be genetics, food, allergies, infections…etc.

as to the whole relationships thing. yup, you said it “flying in and OUT of relationships” broken hearts heal, but they only sound like fun on a country song. you dont want to be flying in and out of relationships… make friends. stay in touch. get involved with other interests…
it gets better
lots better
most of us have been there.

something that may be of interest would be learning to make Rosaries. www.rosaryarmy.com has the twine rosaries lessons… Fire Mountain Gems has an instruction for gemstone ones… when you meet someone else interested in Rosaries you automatically have something to talk about, and a great way to know they have something good in their life!

now i am assuming from your user handle “george” that you are male.
(if i am wrong, sorry again) follow “The Yarn Harlot” 's advice (an author of knitting books. learn to knit. girls are on guys who knit like white on rice. srsly
and join the SCA if there is a group in your area. www.sca.org.
LOTS of girls to meet, lots of guys… loads of activities and fun classes… and if it interests you to learn spinning or embroidery you can. if you want to be a fighter you can get in armor and hit things …
and a lot fo the SCA folks were shy geeky kids when they were young
 
Aw…George…it looks like you need one of these :hug3::grouphug:

It sounds like the awkward stage of teenage-hood. I was there 15 years ago–a girl with crooked teeth, unreliable complexion, and a social anxiety to match it all. But understand, this will pass.

Follow the advice of the rest of the posters. Ask your parents to help you get treatment for the cystic acne. It is a medical condition–you need antibiotics, topical medications. And they have some new treatments out there that you can try. See your doctor, ask him/her for some help.

As for relationships, believe me, you will thank God that you haven’t gotten in to a bunch of them by the time you graduate. They leave…residue. The less residue you have to deal with by the time you reach adulthood, the better. I didn’t get into a relationship until the very end of my high school career–and I wish that I hadn’t even then. There were lasting consquences in my life because of that.

I guess that doesn’t help how you feel now, but I’m just letting you know that the future will be better for you if you are able to work on yourself, develop yourself before you have to worry about some drama-queen girl demanding you call her everyday and write her love notes twice a week and compliment her constantly–because guess what? All those girls are just as unconfident and awkward as you are. All the boys are, as well, for that matter.

But I digress. Remember, this time is temporary. You have your whole life ahead of you. Get involved in your church, get involved in SCA like the poster ahead of me. The SCA is full of awkward, high intelligent, nice people. And remember, you are loved. God loves you and has a very important, veryspecial role for you to play in this life. You’ll make it through this, and be better off because of it.
 
You don’t need a relationship when you’re not going to marry any time soon, seriously. If you really find in love, then you need to do something about it, of course, but you don’t need a girlfriend if you don’t consider her as a future wife if things work out between the two of you. And certainly you don’t need to fly in and out of relationships! One man, one woman, till death do us part, remember?

And acne passes with age. Most men deal with some kind of problems when going through puberty. That can be acne, a thin voice, a rapid growth of facial hair compared to what was before or something yet different.
 
du’oh… forgot to mention…

you say you have a “horrendous deep voice” and all… do you sing? choral is ALWAYS looking for Baritones and Bass voices. its only a problem if you keep trying to sing TENOR!

Opera companies are always short good Bass voices as well…
srsly! Tenors are common enough in choral…and voice training helps you enunciate well
 
fabricdragon said:
du’oh… forgot to mention…

you say you have a “horrendous deep voice” and all… do you sing? choral is ALWAYS looking for Baritones and Bass voices. its only a problem if you keep trying to sing TENOR!

Opera companies are always short good Bass voices as well…
srsly! Tenors are common enough in choral…and voice training helps you enunciate well
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I can also back this up! I am a musician, and studied music in college (majored in it, got my BA in music) and I can say that if you are a true bass, and you develop an ear and work at singing, you can pick any choir you want to be in. A true bass is an amazing thing to have!!!
 
I’ll just second everyone who said that high school can be, and often is, a hellish experience. I think most people are fairly fragile in their teens. Everything is changing so quickly, but some hide it better than others. I ran into a girl I went to high school with a couple of weeks ago. She was one of the popular girls everybody envies. Beautiful. successful family. Boyfriends galore. I would have asked her out at in high school if I hadn’t been the so shy. She ended up dropping out of high school, got addicted to drugs and lived on the street for about six months. She said the pressure to keep up with the in-crowd got to be such a burden that she had a breakdown. So remember, even the “popular” kids are going through their own identity crises right now. Sometimes that causes them to act like idiots and lash out at the closest person they see, which might be you.
As far as the dating scene, the best advice anyone ever gave me was to think a couple of years down the road. If you can’t get a date right now, that sucks. but what you have to do is plan for when you’re 20, or 22. Learn how to dress like an adult. Learn how to cook a few different meals (women love that). Learn how to discern a good wine from a bad one. Read some good books so you can carry on an intelligent conversation. Basically, focus on all the things you will need to do to be a cultured adult.
It will get better. I promise. I was almost exactly how you described yourself in high school.
 
Get to a dermitolgist, they have medicine you cannot get over the counter that will fix the acne, I had it really bad in high school and it really messed up my self image to this day.
 
thats the frustrating thing- i’ve had cystic acne since 7th grade and have been seeing a dermnatologist for FIVE years, having to endure balckhead surgeries and chem peels…and its stilll there…ALL over my body. plus i have ZERO confidence in myself despite my large physical features
 
plus i do all this praying sh*t everyday, go to confession twice a week of my sexual habit, and yet God hasn’t made anything better. if anything,its worse. maybe i should take my shotgun and blast out my right temple gushing out my brains.
 
if you have been seeing a dermatologist for five years with no improvement… get a new doctor.

while i know cystic acne is not always “completely curable” you should see improvement. and dont use your own judgement. look at photos! ask your parents…

also. i know the doctors dont like to think this, but so often things we eat, encounter, etc can lead to flare ups. no its not often chocolate. but if you have a mild food allergy, say to corn. it could manifest as an acne flare up. the issue is, it can have an effect in the next day, or week… try a restricted diet (not CALORIES!) and journal everything… if you dont see improvement try a different diet.
i know one friend who gets flare ups of her Eczema every time she eats certain foods… but the flare ups are always two days later.

pls note: do NOT assume it is food…
i turn out to be allergic to benxoil peroxide… it makes me break out 🤷 so the acne medicine i was using? gave me acne…

in any event… get you and that voice over to some voice lessons. to choir or choral or whatever… a good Bass is a treasure. (and if you are into SF (science fiction) and etc the Filk music genre has some parts written that are for Baritone and Bass… and always need voices.
and the SCA (www.sca.org) has the known world chorale…
and one of my favorite heralds (a job in the SCA) had horrid cystic acne, and still has some to this day… so its hardly unique
 
george4072 said:
plus i do all this praying sh*t everyday, go to confession twice a week of my sexual habit, and yet God hasn’t made anything better. if anything,its worse. maybe i should take my shotgun and blast out my right temple gushing out my brains.
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Please call your priest, your parents, a teacher or a friend or 911.
 
george4072 said:
plus i do all this praying sh*t everyday, go to confession twice a week of my sexual habit, and yet God hasn’t made anything better. if anything,its worse. maybe i should take my shotgun and blast out my right temple gushing out my brains.
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Now george, you do know that all of this is temporary, while suicide is permanent. There was an Ozzy Osbourne song about that–he actually was warning against it, not promoting it. If this is truly how you feel, you need to call 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255. These are suicide hotlines. Please talk to someone, don’t stay alone in your pain, george.

Keep hanging in there, man. God will make things better, but you have to take action. He gives you everything necessary to be victorious, but He won’t just do it all for you. YOU have take those tools He gives to, YOU have to march to victory. He will not give you a way out, but a way through it.

Please call those numbers now, george. You are not alone.
 
fabricdragon said:
as a note: Seal, the singer? his scars are form Acne…
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Actually Seal’s scars were caused by a skin disease called: discoid lupus erythematosus… not acne. Lets not scare the poor lad.

George, go see a dermatologist. I worked for one for years and saw horrible cases of acne clear up in a matter of 3-4 months leaving the persons skin completely clear. It’s worth a try, yeah? Better to try than to not do anything.
 
george4072 said:
plus i do all this praying sh*t everyday, go to confession twice a week of my sexual habit, and yet God hasn’t made anything better. if anything,its worse. maybe i should take my shotgun and blast out my right temple gushing out my brains.
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Goerge,

I understand you have acne worse being cystic acne but there are those of us here who also suffered through it to. I myself had it growing up plus I was extremely shy, had no friends and was made fun of to the point it was abusive. I hated my life but then I grew up.

prayer has to be said from the heart with exceptance of Gods will in your life. Do you believe? or do you just say prayers to get what you want? Nothing is better? is there no time at all that things are good? did the sun rise this morning? How about did it set? Did you eat was it good? Listen there are so many things to be thankful for. Yes you are hurting, I get that but dude come on you are only looking on one side of the coin.

As for getting a shotgun, Do you realy mean that or are you just feeling depressed and fusterated? If you realy are serious then I only ask you this. Go to your parents right now and tell them what you are going to do ( I am seriouse as a heart attack) go on, go tell them.
 
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