What the heck is wrong with me?

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eh, kinda a bad situation you got there. I would go to therapy and a couple different doctors to run tests for mental disorders you have in-order to make light on to difficulties you are facing. There are new laser treatments in trial for your acme put there not the best economic wise :b.
 
I assume that crack about the shotgun was just you venting your frustration, but it’s hard to be sure over the internet. We can’t hear your tone of voice or see your face to know if it was just a wisecrack or if it was a real sentiment. If you were being serious, even if you’re just leaning slightly in that direction, find somebody you can talk to ASAP. It doesn’t have to be your parents. It could be your priest, or a relative, a cousin, whatever, just as long as it’s somebody who can listen to you. Whatever feelings you have, somebody, somewhere has gone through the same things you are going through. Go find somebody to talk with as soon as possible.
 
Hey George, I know everyone else has said this already, but high school can be really tough. Its pretty normal to go through tough times at that age, but you know what? After high school, lots of things change! About a month ago I found out that a guy I graduated with (who was seen as a typical “dorky” guy) is now dating a girl ANYONE in our class would have given his right arm to be with! Just keep going for now buddy, it won’t be long before things get better.
 
george4072 said:
why can’t i get out this mess i’m in? I have been cruely crippled with shyness with God to the point where i can’t do anything socially worth a damn. everybody else in my school is flying in and out of relationships, and yet i look like a retard on the sidelines with my f-ing cystic acne i got plagued with God with. and my hoorrendous deep voice to the point where no one can understand me.

why can’t God just kill me now?
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It isn’t easy being in high school. Everything you spoke about is very common. Flying in and out of relationships isn’t a picnic either. There is a lot of pain and jealousy in all of that breaking up during those years.

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shotgun-that was out of spite.just frustrated,didn’t mean killing myself

i’m just frustrating that GOd gave me all these great things but i’m afraind to use them, like talking to girls,having a social life. its just i like to be quite and not get into other peoples business, but yet have friends and a gf at the same time.
 
george4072 said:
shotgun-that was out of spite.just frustrated,didn’t mean killing myself

i’m just frustrating that GOd gave me all these great things but i’m afraind to use them, like talking to girls,having a social life. its just i like to be quite and not get into other peoples business, but yet have friends and a gf at the same time.
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The girlfriend thing is a struggle, that’s a given, the hard part is the wait factor in your case, eventually you will find the right gal that accepts you for who you are, shy nature and pimples and all, and until then, you have to bide your time. It’s not about your timing, it’s his and he’s working in the background setting it all up for both of you to be together when it’s most conducive to both of you. Trust me on this one, if you rush it, you will be playing the same game most of my friends are, years down the road, divorced paying child support, miserable for the rest of their lives.

Let me tell you about what happens “after” the high school thing, and how that social network breaks down to the true reality in the real world.

The cheerleader will end up fat, wrinkled and popping out kids, living on welfare, the Jock will be delegated to working some mindless job, fat and bald and their biggest aspirations are hitting the bar and pool hall, the preps, or so called, those that have it’s, end up dying at an early age due to the stress levels they encounter trying to keep up their standard of living. These people right now are the so called “in” or popular crowd, but in the end, you see what happens to them as adults, because school and the real adult world are entirely different things.

The cool part, the geeks are the ones making millions, the artsy ones, are happy creating works of wonder, the musicians are up on stage or in a recording studio having a great deal of fun, the outcasts end up being the bosses, and all of the later in the paragraph are the ones that end up being very popular and loved by their peers.

It’s crazy how things turn out opposite of what you think while you are at your age, I am a living testimony to it all, I own my own flourishing business, I have talent galore in art and music, I have real genuine friends, I’m an innovator in my field that is unmatched, and you know what, I get up when ever I want to, I take vacation when ever I want to and I have a lot of fun living my life as God intended. In girlfriend/wife land, I’m dialoging with this gal right now that is the most wonderful person, the best in many ways for me, that the wait in that area is more then worth it, if we met sooner, it never would have happend, we are planning to get married soon, and we make each other so very happy in all ways, it’s just unreal. In the past, at your age, I too was an outcast, I too had major complexion problems, I too was painfully shy, I too had serious feelings of inadequacy, and taking it past where you were at, I tried to even commit suicide as well to give you an idea as to how low I was feeling during your age.

The best piece of advice I can give you, keep your focus on God, build that relationship with him, let him live in you, and let him transform you into something and someone you will love. Keeping your focus on the Kingdom of God, he knows the desires of your heart even better then you do, and he tends to reward us with grace in these areas, for he is a God of surprises. Trust me on this, that is all you have to do at the present, the rest falls in place naturally, just let him work in his own ways, and do so within you and with all other things and people that are around you, you will be a very happy camper in the end if you do this.
 
george4072 said:
shotgun-that was out of spite.just frustrated,didn’t mean killing myself

i’m just frustrating that GOd gave me all these great things but i’m afraind to use them, like talking to girls,having a social life. its just i like to be quite and not get into other peoples business, but yet have friends and a gf at the same time.
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Speaking AS a girl, no girl wants to be in a relationship with someone who comes off as desparate and immature. Threats to “blow your head off” are childish and desparate.

Do some growing up, work on YOU.
 
but thats the thing kage_ar ,is that i’m mature(like a maturity level of a 30 year old), but the monkies in my high school that are poplular and run everyting have dumbed me down. its basically pointless and alost cause to be mature in high school cuz you’ll just get eaten alive
 
George, saying you are going to blow your brains out is not mature. If it’s any consolation, the girls your age are just as insecure and immature as the guys, they also follow their peers much more closely, which reinforces it further.

If you are so called mature to the level of a 30 year old, you’d be focused on your studies a great deal more then anything else, that is what we adults do, we take advantage of the opportunities on hand, for we plan into the future, doesn’t sound like you are thinking of the future at all, just the now… We also do what we feel is right in our lives, regardless of what anybody has to say, and again, you are still dependent upon what others think.
 
george4072 said:
but thats the thing kage_ar ,is that i’m mature(like a maturity level of a 30 year old), but the monkies in my high school that are poplular and run everyting have dumbed me down. its basically pointless and alost cause to be mature in high school cuz you’ll just get eaten alive
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No…well, maybe…some 30 year olds are still pretty immature, so from that perspective it might be possible.😉

Who SAYS the popular kids run everything? How big is your school? They can only do to you what you allow them to! Be strong! Be confident! Be self-assured!

No girl is attracted to someone who lacks self confidence.

Rise above the games of high school, but do not get cocky (which is different from confidence).

Are you involved in extracurricular activities? Sports, drama, speech, etc.? If not, GET INVOLVED! Active, involved kids have more confidence, in general, plus it looks good on college applications! My son had horrible acne as well. He has a girlfriend. He is very confident and self assured. Change doctors and look into dietary supplements as well. We cannot give medical advice here, but certain specific dietary supplements have made PHENOMENAL differences in my son’s acne. I can always tell when he has forgotten to take it! It is THAT noticeable.

PM me for more info.
 
I’m older and have had some life experience but still a young’un myself. What do I have to say?
  1. Five years from seventh grade: that makes you a senior in high school? Very stressful school year, college applications, final projects, possible driver’s test, figuring out what you want to do…It’s scary! Trust me! I was taking all AP/honors classes, was Vice President of my entire student body, was in band, chorus, a million other clubs, did stuff in church, babysat (so I could go to Europe after graduation)…and debating about where to go to school. That’s a very stressful time and exacerbates any other emotion you may be feeling.
  2. Cystic acne: My acne wasn’t that bad, but it was a struggle for me too. And I had both glasses and braces for the longest time. Had a lot of friends, had boys interested in me, was told often that I was pretty, but was very insecure about my looks and I still am in some respect. Yet, at the same time, my appearance has changed since I was in high school. Go to your doctor, if nothing’s working, find another one. But it’s usually not forever. And it’s not the only thing that gets girls or not. Confidence, kindness, faith, true chivalry, a sense of humor, and a touch of really good cologne/nice smelling soap are what get girls.
  3. Popular kids: Next year, they’re not gonna matter. They’ll either grow up and become good people or they’ll peak in HS and never grow past it. Life doesn’t end after high school. You start off with a clean slate and are free to pursue just about anything: college, travel, a job, discernment, whatever. Find what YOU’RE good at and ask God to take you where He needs you. He’s a good guy, I promise, even if I felt He had to drag me kicking and screaming at some parts of my own life.
  4. Dating: Dating is always hard. Some of my best friends are beautiful people, inside and out and they have trouble. I have friends who are dating who are afraid they won’t get married. I’ve only dated a couple times and the only person to kiss me romantically was someone I barely knew. I’m 20. But it’s not the only thing to life. We place too much emphasis on sex and romance in society, forgetting the deeper loves of our life, forgetting our friends, family, etc. And marriage, which is what dating should lead to, is far from a whirlwind romance and non-stop sex. It takes friendship, work, honesty, trust, communication, a sense of humor, patience, perseverance, forbearance, strength, understanding, and love. In the end, it’s less about your romantic experience and sexual desires and more about how well you can help someone become closer to God through your love for them and how well that can stand the test of time.
So nothing is wrong with you. You’re just at an awkward phase. Life is full of them. How you embrace them is up to you.
 
The following (long) quote is something I’ve found helpful. You might want to print it off.

"When someone desires to suffer, it is not merely a pious reminder of the suffering of the Lord. Voluntary expiatory suffering is what truly and really unites one to the Lord intimately. When it arises, it comes from an already existing relationship with Christ. For, by nature, a person flees from suffering. And the mania for suffering caused by a perverse lust for pain differs completely from the desire to suffer in expiation. Such lust is not a spiritual striving, but a sensory longing, no better than other sensory desires, in fact worse, because it is contrary to nature. Only someone whose spiritual eyes have been opened to the supernatural correlations of worldly events can desire suffering in expiation, and this is only possible for people in whom the spirit of Christ dwells, who as members are given life by the Head, receive his power, his meaning, and his direction. Conversely, works of expiation bind one closer to Christ, as every community that works together on one task becomes more and more closely knit and as the limbs of a body, working together organically, continually become more strongly one.

But because being one with Christ is our sanctity, and progressively becoming one with him our happiness on earth, the love of the cross in no way contradicts being a joyful child of God. Helping Christ carry his cross fills one with a strong and pure joy, and those who may and can do so, the builders of God’s kingdom, are the most authentic children of God. And so those who have a predilection for the way of the cross by no means deny that Good Friday is past and that the work of salvation has been accomplished. Only those who are saved, only children of grace, can in fact be bearers of Christ’s cross. Only in union with the divine Head does human suffering take on expiatory power.

To suffer and to be happy although suffering, to have one’s feet on the earth, to walk on the dirty and rough paths of this earth and yet to be enthroned with Christ at the Father’s right hand, to laugh and cry with the children of this world and ceaselessly to sing the praises of God with the choirs of angels this is the life of the Christian until the morning of eternity breaks forth."

Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross
 
george4072 said:
plus i do all this praying sh*t everyday, go to confession twice a week of my sexual habit, and yet God hasn’t made anything better. if anything,its worse. maybe i should take my shotgun and blast out my right temple gushing out my brains.
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George,

Hang in there buddy. As they say “Been there…done that…bought the T-shirt” Right now you are in despair and that is an awfull feeling. You want everything to be different, to be good. The problem is that you don’t know what “good” really is. What you see as good today will be bad tomorrow, just like those “relationships” all your friends are in. You want something bad because it looks good. Believe me you are better off right now bearing this cross. Hard to believe, but the suffering you are experiencing is making you stronger and more compasionate. There will come a day when God will reveal to you what he wants for you.

As for your “habit,” resist and be patient. Avoid the near occasion of sin. Absolutely avoid pornography it is a deadly poison, if you have a computer or TV in your room get rid of it, do something positive as mentioned in the posts above. Pray for the intercession of St. Michael the Archeangel and your Guardian Angel to deliver you from this sin. It is possible to be free of this.

Hang in there young man. In all this God holds you in His arms as one would a small child. Let Him guide your steps into adulthood.
 
Hey there George,

I hope that things have been better for you recently.

As my Grandfather used to say, ‘Believe in God and row like crazy!’ As my mom says, ‘It will pass.’

I have had similar feelings and thoughts to you for different reasons, and you know what? I’ve rowed, capsized, just about drowned and sunk!! But it is coming to pass. And once each little thing came to pass, another came. It is how you look at things. Open up your mind, don’t put pressure on yourself to be something you’re not. Just be, but be all that you can be! In God’s eyes. Don’t forget that God made you in his image and you will always be perfect in God’s eyes and he will always love you! And who better to stay strong for and make proud - but for the Lord our God?

Three things, George…
  1. Try and focus on the good about yourself. You may not feel like there is much, but look harder and find it. From being polite, to thoughtful, to sensitive to all of your achievements, however great or small! Trust me, it is there! 😃
When you have negative thoughts, chuck them out and counteract it with the positive! You have to fight this!! And it will pass! Gain confidence, you are worthy of love and respect - so start by loving and respecting yourself.

I too was at fault with tendancies 😊- at first it’s hard, you feel like you have failed and so you continue anyhow to punish yourself. Keep working at it, look at it differently, and realise that you are just punishing yourself and that you’re in a vicious cycle. Work hard at breaking the cycle, change your routine and everytime you fall, let it make you fight it harder and each time try, hold out for longer. Again, don’t let yourself think about it, when you do - change what you’re doing and get your mind off of it. Walk away from the sin, and when you do, each time (even if you fall inbetween) you will feel better, happier and stronger for it!! 👍 Never give up, & don’t beat yourself up when you fall. Learn to accept your mistakes, accept yourself and your faults, acknowledge them, but move on and work on changing what you can, and remember that nothing is impossible to accomplish especially with the Lord. It has taken me 3 long years to get to where I am today, 🤷 (and I am still working on certain things), with many many mess ups - but keep going! Let God in, and accept that he forgives you and he loves you even though you’ve done the things you’ve done and behaved in the ways that you have. Embrace his grace! It can be overwhelming at times. And do not be afraid to go to confession either. :rolleyes:

Also, I have found that the Christian Channels have helped. You know for the moral support that you don’t get in a secular society and environment at school. Especially listening to the music. Try UCB, they are good.
  1. Re: the acne, I knew a girl who suffered badly up until she was around 17years old. She went to a nutritionist and they told her to stop eating potatoes (starch), and sure enough, her acne cleared very quickly and stayed away. So perhaps go and see a nutritionst if you can? Just a thought.
  2. I am very shy, until I get to know someone! Then you can’t keep me quiet. I made two friends who I am still friends with 10 years on. I am very blessed, My sister made none and none bother with her ten years on. It is rare to find true friends. I always mixed from group to group. My 2 friends, one had one group of friends and the other and a totally different kind of friends. So really I was on my lonesome. But I mixed, quiet people who enjoy movies, I go to movies with. People who enjoyed going out for a good dance, I’d go out with to have a good dance! People who like to go camping with, I’d go camping with! Because eveyone is different, and it avoids that ‘best friend’ stuff and you don’t have to worry about any upsets. Shyness, I find is more fear for me. I love being quiet and I love my time alone and space. However, I have learned that I do not like confrontation and I always worry/worried about what people would think of me. Now I just push myself out there, even if it is small talk and I push myself to do the things that I am sooo afraid of doing!
Don’t worry too much about girlfriends as love hits you when you’re least expecting it. But in the mean time be friends with everyone and anyone. Also be careful and avoid the wrong crowds if you are easily influenced. Be strong, be unique, be you, and don’t be afraid. 😉

I love this song from Matt Redman: here are the lyrics
Matt Redman - You Never Let Go
From the album Passion 06: Everything Glorious

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
Continued to next post 😊
 
And try and read the book ‘The Truth About Trouble’ By Michael Scanlan

Sorry for the essay, I will keep you in my prayers and light a candle for you at church.

Stay strong! Forgive yourself and accept Jesus’ forgiveness. You’re perfect in everyway. How could you be any less than the perfect being that God has made you? Now it’s just to be all that God intended you to be! Work towards that! Be a soldier of God. :knight2:

Take care, take it easy, and relax and enjoy yourlife, one day at a time! It is hard, but it is possible! 🙂

God Bless. :gopray:
 
Boy, I remember those days, all too well I’m afraid. I am only 26, so HS was a relatively recent ordeal for me. I have Neurofibromatosis, very bad asthma, and on top of that I am gay… everyone knew I was gay before I did, and all day, every day in school I was tormented because of it. I remember how exhausting it was holding back my tears from 8 AM until I got home… I came home crying most everyday, and suicde was a constant thought. I had no friends at all, no one to confide in, no one to hang out with or go study with, or do any of the other things that make HS memorable. I definitely didn’t date, I went to an all-boys school, and since none of my fellow students liked me, even if I were straight, they wouldn"t have introduced me to any of the girls at our “sister school”.
I can tell you though, no matter your situation, gay or straight, deep-voice or not, acne or smooth skin, things will get better. Don’t let those fools in your school get you down, you are special, and an endangered species. There is only ONE of you in his ENTIRE universe, and without you, the world would not continue as planned. You are special, and you are needed.
Trust me when I tell you, it can and will get better. I have been where you are, I still have the scars on my wrist to prove it.
 
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