(Please - I understand that I do not intend for this to be misinterpreted as criticizing or negative).
But WOW…I am very amazed at, what for us, would be incredibly early bedtimes

Basketball practice, band practice, scout meetings, etc often start at 7pm or later - and rarely, if ever, finish before 7.
Now I realize that “young” children do not attend such things, but I guess I’ve had so many children for so long that I literally can’t remember having a time when these type of commitments were not part of our lives - and as such, either the younger ones were accompanying us there or were part of the family hub-bub that occurred as family members came home, told about their event, etc.
Just a great reminder to me that every family and situation are different and what’s the accepted “normal” for one may bear little resemblance to the accepted “normal” for another
I agree with you about every family situation being different and “normal” varies.
I would like to add that parents need to be careful to accommodate the sleep needs of ALL of their children when scheduling activities.
Sleep is really important in a child’s development, as important as food and drink.
I’ve seen families that bring ALL of their children to the skating rink at 5:30 a.m., and while the older child is out on the ice zooming around, a younger child or toddler is slumped over the table in the lobby sleeping, or even curled up on the floor in the stinky locker room, sleeping.
Same thing at night–parents are at the theater with their older child, a “budding thespian” who will be rehearsing until ten p.m. (that’s the way it works in theater!), but the younger children are dozing off or asleep in the uncomfortable theater seats.
I have a little problem with this.
Certainly this happens once in a while, and family members have to endure a little discomfort for the sake of their sibs or children. That’s what being a family is all about–being there for each other.
But that should be for special times, like competitions or tournaments or plays/musicals, or whatever.
I just hate to see little ones regularly, day after day, dragged out of their warm beds and ferried to their older sibs activities, where they sleep in skating rinks or theaters (or whatever) instead of in their cozy beds safe at home. This also wrecks up the precious “bedtime routine” that helps calm a child and send them off to sleep with good thoughts, prayers, comfy jammies, songs, and hugs/kisses, or the morning wake-up routine, again with prayers, cuddles, a little breakfast, etc.
I suggest that Mom and Dad split the activity roster, and one parent does the skating rink or theater (or whatever) duty, while the other parent stays home with the younger children and gets them cozily to bed.
If there is only one parent in the picture (not necessarily because of divorce, but because of dual working shifts, military commitment, illness, or whatever), perhaps grandparents or other relatives can fill in. That’s a really tough one, and I suspect that’s why we see children sleeping in the lobby at skating rinks–there is no one else to help at home, and it somehow doesn’t seem fair to the older child to say, “No, you can’t do what you dream of doing because your little brother has to sleep in his crib.”
Hard decisions. It takes courage to be a parent.