What to do about rude parishioners? v. my parrot

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Binary said:
Because he’s young and liable to get into any kind of trouble at home, I have to bring my parrot, Ted, to mass with me. He sometimes gets bored and rambunctious during the service, so I bring snacks and toys for him to play with. Unfortunately, sometimes he drops his toys loudly, or makes a mess with his food, or caws loudly and repeatedly. What do you expect? He’s a parrot! Still, his behavior often earns me disapproving stares from the people around me, and I’ve even had a few people approach me after mass telling me how rude it is to have him there. I just tell them that Ted is my “little saint” and his outbursts are opportunities for all of us to practice the virtue of patience.

And besides, in terms of his effect on other parishioners, Ted is no different than the thousands of toddlers who disrupt mass every week. So why should I be singled out as the bad guy? Anyway, here I am, asking for your advice on what I can tell these people to explain that it’s perfectly acceptable to interrupt their homilies, hymns and prayers with screaching and crashing. Parents’ advice is especially sought.

Thanks and regards,
Binary
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Are you out of your mind?

Glennonite
 
Binary said:
Let me tell you, seriously, my plan for my own children I hope to have someday. I’ll get them baptized and, until they are old enough to I don’t know, speak full sentences, leave them in the care of a babysitter for ~2 hours on sunday. I hope to use the mass during those years as a quiet time to spend worshipping with my wife. Maybe we could do something wild like have brunch and a normal conversation together afterwards. When they are old enough, if they start misbehaving and refuse to listen, I will snatch them up and walk out until they calm down. I plan to sit in the very back to facilitate this process, which seems like a minimally considerate thing any parent of young children should do. I know I won’t be able to eliminate disruptions or bad behavior, but I have an obligation to minimize any negative effects my child has on other people.
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Not everyone can afford ~2 hours of baby sitting every Sunday after already paying a ridiculous amount for daycare during the weekdays. Besides, I want my child to grow up seeing we go to church every Sunday. Its part of his formation on becoming a good Christian. The parish is supposed to be a community. People should be supportive of me and my family, and I of theirs. Also, Liturgy is community worship. If you want personal prayer time, you can always visit the Blessed Sacrament some other time. Liturgy is people praying together and for one another.

Also we keep hearing
 
Binary said:
Because he’s young and liable to get into any kind of trouble at home, I have to bring my parrot, Ted, to mass with me. He sometimes gets bored and rambunctious during the service, so I bring snacks and toys for him to play with. Unfortunately, sometimes he drops his toys loudly, or makes a mess with his food, or caws loudly and repeatedly. What do you expect? He’s a parrot! Still, his behavior often earns me disapproving stares from the people around me, and I’ve even had a few people approach me after mass telling me how rude it is to have him there. I just tell them that Ted is my “little saint” and his outbursts are opportunities for all of us to practice the virtue of patience.

And besides, in terms of his effect on other parishioners, Ted is no different than the thousands of toddlers who disrupt mass every week. So why should I be singled out as the bad guy? Anyway, here I am, asking for your advice on what I can tell these people to explain that it’s perfectly acceptable to interrupt their homilies, hymns and prayers with screaching and crashing. Parents’ advice is especially sought.

Thanks and regards,
Binary
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:rotfl:
 
OH, MY!

When I first read the original post, I thought, “OH, WOW! This must be the guy from my parish.”

After his next post, I realized that the poster was not really taking a parrot to church…BUT, there really is a man at my church who will sometimes come to Mass with a live parrot on his shoulder!! No kidding!

One of my Sisters saw him at a daily Mass and another Sister did not believe her. The following Sunday, the guy did the same thing…no more unbelief!

As far as I know, nobody said anything to the guy…they were all in utter shock & amazement. I wonder if perhaps he is mentally ill? I have not heard of any more “parrot sightings” (this all happened last summer)…I don’t know if the man moved or what (we used to see him walking up and down the street, but have not seen him in a long time).

Anyway, I just HAD TO share this story with you!
 
There was a young gal (probably 5 or 6 years old ) in front of me two weeks ago at Mass. I’m watching her behavior and I was kinda rolling my eyes thinking, “My parents spanked our … for acting like that.”

Communion time is coming around and she gets up and starts packing all her stuff into a bundle (she’s ready to get out of Dodge).

She turns around, looks up at me, hands me her colored drawing and says beaming with pride, “Here, this is for you.” It was a freehand lion (possibly a dinosaur, maybe a dog).

Her Mom turns around and says, “It’s a gift for putting up with the way she’s been acting today at Mass.”

:rotfl:

I kept the artwork.
 
I’ve always noticed that families tend to sit near the back of the Church if they have young children/toddlers. Perhaps moving closer to the altar can help you focus more.
 
We have a midday Mass on Sundays,and I know that this will be full of families with kids,arriving late,leaving early etc.so I avoid this and go to an earlier Mass.What I am trying to say is that -The family that prays together,stays together-.I dont like the noise and interruptions either,but we are a community under God and the more I see children at Mass the more I have hope for all our futures
 
Binary said:
Alright, so it seems like there’s a consensus here that while my imaginary parrot shouldn’t be at mass, a child who is similar to a parrot in all aspects except plumage and baptism has every right to be there, screaming away.

Without exaggeration, I heard ~3 sentences of the homily last week because of children. What’s the psalm response? It sounded like “WAAAAAAH.” Trying to quietly contemplate the Eucharistic miracle? Hard to do when there’s, you know, screaming kids.

But hey, the problem is ME, right? The screaming kids are obviously getting a religious education from this. I’m sure they’ll remember it. You remember the lessons you learned in church when you were 2, right?

So right, the kids have a right to be there. And I have an obligation to worship. Rather than expecting parents to go to a cry room that may or may not exist, would it be acceptable for me to step outside and prayerfully follow along with the mass in my head? In anticipation of toddlers doing this for the entire mass, would it be acceptable for me to stay outside for the whole of the mass, coming in only for communion? Actually, I could just make a spiritual communion, right? Heck, I could do that from home.
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No. No. and No. Spiritual Communion does not replace Sacramental Communion.

Careful, friend, your train of thought indicates sounds a lot like Quietism as it was explained to me. Quietism is condemned by the Church.

I recommend you discuss your issues with your priest. If possible, it may be a good idea for you to attend at a different time or another parish.
 
Deckie said:
We have a midday Mass on Sundays,and I know that this will be full of families with kids,arriving late,leaving early etc.so I avoid this and go to an earlier Mass.What I am trying to say is that -The family that prays together,stays together-.I dont like the noise and interruptions either,but we are a community under God and the more I see children at Mass the more I have hope for all our futures
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Thanks - I knew I was forgetting something. Someone else recently posted about noisy children at mass, and I recommended mass either early Sunday morning (7 or 730 a.m.) or even Saturday evening.
 
Binary said:
Because he’s young and liable to get into any kind of trouble at home, I have to bring my parrot, Ted, to mass with me. He sometimes gets bored and rambunctious during the service, so I bring snacks and toys for him to play with. Unfortunately, sometimes he drops his toys loudly, or makes a mess with his food, or caws loudly and repeatedly. What do you expect? He’s a parrot! Binary
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he has no obligation to attend Mass until he is of the age to prepare for first communion, that gives you a few years to teach him how to behave in Church. We don’t have a children’s liturgy for parrots, but if you come here and just want to leave him outside he can hobnob with the green parrots in the trees in front of the rectory.

as a reminder to other posters about charity, we don’t know that Ted is not a service parrot and as such cannot be excluded from church.
 
Binary said:
Alright, so it seems like there’s a consensus here that while my imaginary parrot shouldn’t be at mass, a child who is similar to a parrot in all aspects except plumage and baptism has every right to be there, screaming away.

Without exaggeration, I heard ~3 sentences of the homily last week because of children. What’s the psalm response? It sounded like “WAAAAAAH.” Trying to quietly contemplate the Eucharistic miracle? Hard to do when there’s, you know, screaming kids.

But hey, the problem is ME, right? The screaming kids are obviously getting a religious education from this. I’m sure they’ll remember it. You remember the lessons you learned in church when you were 2, right?

So right, the kids have a right to be there. And I have an obligation to worship. Rather than expecting parents to go to a cry room that may or may not exist, would it be acceptable for me to step outside and prayerfully follow along with the mass in my head? In anticipation of toddlers doing this for the entire mass, would it be acceptable for me to stay outside for the whole of the mass, coming in only for communion? Actually, I could just make a spiritual communion, right? Heck, I could do that from home.
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Most people do take their kids out after awhile, but some are amazingly deaf! I agree with you, when a kid is disrupting the service, and people can’t even hear the priest, time to take the little screamer outside. Nobody, including the child, needs to suffer through that kind of noise.

Now if a kid is just making occasional noises, light crying, talking or singing, let 'em stay, they aren’t really disrupting anything, and it’s kind of nice to hear the sounds of children.
 
puzzleannie said:
he has no obligation to attend Mass until he is of the age to prepare for first communion, that gives you a few years to teach him how to behave in Church. We don’t have a children’s liturgy for parrots, but if you come here and just want to leave him outside he can hobnob with the green parrots in the trees in front of the rectory.

as a reminder to other posters about charity, we don’t know that Ted is not a service parrot and as such cannot be excluded from church.
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:rotfl:
 
ConstantineTG said:
Wow, I can’t believe how much hate there is in these forums for toddlers in Mass. Why do people insist that kids be excluded from Mass? Didn’t Jesus say that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as them?
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We do not hate toddlers in Mass. We are out of patience for numbskull parents who will sit holding a screaming baby or ignore the little darlings running up and down the ailse and playing in the Baptismal Font or hand them some loud toy to keep them amused. This is not a trip to Walmart! There are plenty of families that have young children who know how to act in church, because their parents have taught them. Crying babies and disruptive, fussy young children should be removed to the “crying room” or even outside until they calm down, it’s just good manners and respect for others. No one disputes their right to be there, but, they should not be a distraction to the rest of the congregation and especially the priest.
 
There was an incident at a Mass I attended some years back. The priest mentioned the child’s right to be at Mass in his homily. During the Eucharistic Liturgy of the same Mass, one child started crying and his father started dutifully outside. The priest, seeing this, called him back, reminding the entire congregation of his previous instruction.
 
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