After I’ve confessed, i leave church feeling amazing and pure, but then from the church to the car and drive home, i feel guilty. Sometimes i wont take holy communion the next Sunday morning because i feel guilty. … How can i help this? Can we still take holy communion while having committed venial sin?
Scrupulosity is sometimes associated with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD (
source). I by no means intend to imply that this is necessarily happening in your situation, but you do appear to be on the extreme end of the spectrum and it would be worth your while to discuss the matter with a good Catholic therapist (
here).
It is not appropriate for you to still feel guilty for sins after receiving absolution as that implies that you doubt the mercy of our Lord and/or His grant of authority to His ministers, (“Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them” Jn 20:23) Unless you are only referring to sinful actions committed
after receiving the sacrament, in which case guilt would be appropriate, but what you are experiencing seems too severe. Finding a good spiritual director will also help you distinguish between fleeting temptation (which is involuntary and not sinful) and deliberately engaging in sinful acts.
You are only barred from receiving the Holy Communion if you have unabsolved
mortal sins, though venial sins on your soul may inhibit experiencing the full grace and blessing of the sacrament. If you are concerned about intervening sins, why not remain in church for the Vigil Mass that most parishes hold immediately after the regular reconciliation hours? You can always go to Sunday Mass as well.
I understand the distress you are experiencing, and while it is a good thing to be cognizant of the way sin impacts our day to day lives, your experience seems to be overwhelming you. As others have alluded to, the Adversary seeks to distance each of us from doing the Lord’s will in any way he can. While binding your head might be an effective way to reduce the possibility of committing a venial sin prior to Mass, it also prevents you from doing the good things that God wants you to do.
I will pray for you.
