What to do if I disagree that something is a mortal sin?

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“The second part treats their application to our lives: what ensues from this faith? How does it shape our existence, day by day? In the Letter to the Romans, this second part begins in chapter 12, in which the Apostle briefly sums up the essential nucleus of Christian existence in the first two verses. What does St Paul say to us in that passage? First of all he affirms, as a fundamental thing, that a new way of venerating God began with Christ a new form of worship. It consists in the fact that the living person himself becomes adoration, “sacrifice”, even in his own body. It is no longer things that are offered to God. It is our very existence that must become praise of God. But how does this happen? In the second verse we are given the answer: “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God…” (12: 2). The two decisive words of this verse are “transformed” and “renewal”. We must become new people, transformed into a new mode of existence. The world is always in search of novelty because, rightly, it is always dissatisfied with concrete reality. Paul tells us: the world cannot be renewed without new people. Only if there are new people will there also be a new world, a renewed and better world. In the beginning is the renewal of the human being. This subsequently applies to every individual. Only if we ourselves become new does the world become new. This also means that it is not enough to adapt to the current situation. The Apostle exhorts us to non-conformism. In our Letter he says: we should not submit to the logic of our time. We shall return to this point, reflecting on the second text on which I wish to meditate with you this evening. The Apostle’s “no” is clear and also convincing for anyone who observes the “logic” of our world. But to become new how can this be done? Are we really capable of it? With his words on becoming new, Paul alludes to his own conversion: to his encounter with the Risen Christ, an encounter of which, in the Second Letter to the Corinthians he says: “if anyone is in Christ, he is in a new creation; the old has passed away, behold, the new has come” (5: 17). This encounter with Christ was so overwhelming for him that he said of it: “I… died…” (Gal 2: 19; cf. Rm 6). He became new, another, because he no longer lived for himself and by virtue of himself, but for Christ and in him. In the course of the years, however, he also saw that this process of renewal and transformation continues throughout life. We become new if we let ourselves be grasped and shaped by the new Man, Jesus Christ. He is the new Man par excellence. In him the new human existence became reality and we can truly become new if we deliver ourselves into his hands and let ourselves be moulded by him.”

-Pope Benedict XVI
 
Continued:

“Paul makes this process of “recasting” even clearer by saying that we become new if we transform our way of thinking. What has been introduced here with “way of thinking” is the Greek term “nous”. It is a complex word. It may be translated as “spirit”, “sentiments”, “reason”, and precisely, also by “way of thinking”. Thus our reason must become new. This surprises us. We might have expected instead that this would have concerned some attitude: what we should change in our behaviour. But no: renewal must go to the very core. Our way of looking at the world, of understanding reality all our thought must change from its foundations. The reasoning of the former person, the common way of thinking is usually directed to possession, well-being, influence, success, fame and so forth. Yet in this way its scope is too limited. Thus, in the final analysis, one’s “self” remains the centre of the world. We must learn to think more profoundly. St Paul tells us what this means in the second part of the sentence: it is necessary to learn to understand God’s will, so that it may shape our own will. This is in order that we ourselves may desire what God desires, because we recognize that what God wants is the beautiful and the good. It is therefore a question of a turning point in our fundamental spiritual orientation. God must enter into the horizon of our thought: what he wants and the way in which he conceived of the world and of me. We must learn to share in the thinking and the will of Jesus Christ. It is then that we will be new people in whom a new world emerges.”

Pope Benedict XVI (for whole text see link above)
 
So would it not be a mortal sin for me then since I don’t know that it is a sin?
Or is it enough that I know that church considers it a mortal sin?
The knowledge that something is a serious sin can be arrived at differently by different people. For some, their own mind is clear that it is wrong by nature or something that seems obvious to them. Others are in a position to recognize the duty/benefit/importance to obeying a true authority. If you (a generic person) recognize the Church as having the authority that she says she has, then even if you can’t wrap your mind around why the Church says something is wrong, you still can wrap your mind around the idea that failure to obey that authority would be seriously wrong. So yes, it can be enough to know the Church considers something a serious sin. That is not always enough, though, since a Protestant might posses that information about Church teaching, but not yet have come to recognize her authority.

I suggest you find out if it is taught by the Church that it is a mortal sin to have relations while on a medical pill to treat a medical problem that increases the chance of miscarriage. There are a number of such pills and I’ve never seen it written by the Magisterium that one must abstain from relations during marriage while taking them to treat real medical disease (as opposed to taking them to prevent conception). I’ve only seem *some *theologians say that this might be the case, which is not the same as the Church teaching it. Please see Father Serpa’s Answer in the Ask an Apologist forum to see that I have reason to suggest that you might want to check into this.

Perhaps you are having a problem with the idea of IVF because you are putting yourself into the future, into a hypothetical situation. If you ever do get in that situation, God will give you the grace to handle the situation according to his will. 🙂 But you are perhaps trying to imagine the situation without really being fully aware of the graces you will receive to handle the situation if it arrives. I think we are kind of pessimistic about how strongly he can help us and try to imagine us doing everything by ourselves sometimes.

Did you know that you can make an act of spiritual communion for those days when you cannot receive? Or you can do it when you are stuck at home and can’t get to daily mass, etc.

My Jesus,
I believe that You
are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things,
and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment
receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You. Amen.

Please let me know if I can be of further help. I know I sound rather stiff in type, but I’m a silly yet simultaneously helpful person in real life. 😃
 
I am correcting you. I believe you are wrong. If you absolutely must take birth control (and there is no other option out there for you) than I believe you must abstain. But, as another poster has mentioned this is hardly ever the case. Usually the doctor doesn’t know of any better treatment and always resorts to birth control. Doctors will give birth control to girls for acne. How is this necessary??? :confused:
I don’t agree that that’s what the Church teaches.

If a married women must take the pill for medical reasons (often dubious as you state, but let’'s assume it’s true), she would not be required to abstain from sex. It’s an issue of double effect. If the intent is not contraceptive, it’s not sinful.

It’s just like the case where a women needs medical treatment that may, or will, kill her unborn baby (e.g. ectopic pregnancy & removal of fallopian tube). It is not immoral to have the treatment, as long as the true purpose is to cure a disease or defect, even if the death of the child results.

Similarly if your wife insists on taking the pill to prevent pregnancy, you are still allowed to have sex with her, as long as you periodically try to change her mind to conform with Church teaching. Or, if your spouse was sterilized, you can have sex with them.

God Bless
 
other excerpts --continued

“Paul illustrates the same idea of a necessary renewal of our way of being human in two passages of his Letter to the Ephesians; let us therefore reflect on them briefly. In the Letter’s fourth chapter, the Apostle tells us that with Christ we must attain adulthood, a mature faith. We can no longer be “children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine…” (4: 14). Paul wants Christians to have a “responsible” and “adult faith”. The words “adult faith” in recent decades have formed a widespread slogan. It is often meant in the sense of the attitude of those who no longer listen to the Church and her Pastors but autonomously choose what they want to believe and not to believe hence a do-it-yourself faith. And it is presented as a “courageous” form of self-expression against the Magisterium of the Church. In fact, however, no courage is needed for this because one may always be certain of public applause. Rather, courage is needed to adhere to the Church’s faith, even if this contradicts the “logic” of the contemporary world. This is the non-conformism of faith which Paul calls an “adult faith”. It is the faith that he desires. On the other hand, he describes chasing the winds and trends of the time as infantile. Thus, being committed to the inviolability of human life from its first instant, thereby radically opposing the principle of violence also precisely in the defence of the most defenceless human creatures is part of an adult faith. It is part of an adult faith to recognize marriage between a man and a woman for the whole of life as the Creator’s ordering, newly re-established by Christ. Adult faith does not let itself be carried about here and there by any trend. It opposes the winds of fashion. It knows that these winds are not the breath of the Holy Spirit; it knows that the Spirit of God is expressed and manifested in communion with Jesus Christ. However, here too Paul does not stop at saying “no”, but rather leads us to the great “yes”. He describes the mature, truly adult faith positively with the words: “speaking the truth in love” (cf. Eph 4: 15). The new way of thinking, given to us by faith, is first and foremost a turning towards the truth. The power of evil is falsehood. The power of faith, the power of God, is the truth. The truth about the world and about ourselves becomes visible when we look to God. And God makes himself visible to us in the Face of Jesus Christ. In looking at Christ, we recognize something else: truth and love are inseparable. In God both are inseparably one; it is precisely this that is the essence of God. For Christians, therefore, truth and love go together. Love is the test of truth. We should always measure ourselves anew against this criterion, so that truth may become love and love may make us truthful.”

–Pope Benedict XVI
 
With…prayer…study…grace…with a renewal of the mind…and with the “obedience of Faith” (one of Pauls term)…one joyfully makes the “Yes!”

The Yes certainly carries with it various no’s --but so too does the yes of marriage…

“A gift of friendship implies a “yes” to the friend and a “no” to all that is incompatible with this friendship, to all that is incompatible with the life of God’s family, with true life in Christ.”

–Pope Benedict XVI Feast of the Baptism of the Lord, 8 January 2006

In Jesus of Nazareth (and thus in his Church) is true life.
 
So would it not be a mortal sin for me then since I don’t know that it is a sin?
Or is it enough that I know that church considers it a mortal sin?
It seems like you do know it is a mortal sin if you did not follow the Church’s Teaching. In other words, are you really taking the pill for medical reasons or because you are afraid of getting pregnant? That is a decision you need to make and no one else can decide for you. It is between you and God.

In my family, after my wife found out that the pill was considered cancerous, she vow not to take it again (this is before we were married). Flash to today and we use NFP but because she is breastfeeding and other factors, she does not know if she is fertile. So we do not have sex until we can properly chart again. Because we have learned to abstain from sex, this is not really an issue between us as it would be for other couples.

I pray for you to make a wise desicion and hope you will be content with whatever you decide.

Oh, one more thing, my priest once said to me, “Do not worry if other people take communion when you think they should not, you do not know what is in their hearts and souls. Worry about your heart and soul and if you should be in line.”
 
"A gift of friendship implies a “yes” to the friend and a “no” to all that is incompatible with this friendship, to all that is incompatible with the life of God’s family, with true life in Christ.

Consequently, in this second dialogue, three “noes” and three “yeses” are spoken. We say “no” and renounce temptation, sin and the devil. We know these things well but perhaps, precisely because we have heard them too often, the words may not mean much to us.

If this is the case, we must think a little more deeply about the content of these “noes”. What are we saying “no” to? This is the only way to understand what we want to say “yes” to.

In the ancient Church these “noes” were summed up in a phrase that was easy to understand for the people of that time: they renounced, they said, the “pompa diabuli”, that is, the promise of life in abundance, of that apparent life that seemed to come from the pagan world, from its permissiveness, from its way of living as one pleased.

It was therefore “no” to a culture of what seemed to be an abundance of life, to what in fact was an “anticulture” of death. It was “no” to those spectacles in which death, cruelty and violence had become an entertainment.

Let us remember what was organized at the Colosseum or here, in Nero’s gardens, where people were set on fire like living torches. Cruelty and violence had become a form of amusement, a true perversion of joy, of the true meaning of life.

This “pompa diabuli”, this “anticulture” of death was a corruption of joy, it was love of deceit and fraud and the abuse of the body as a commodity and a trade.

And if we think about it now, we can say that also in our time we need to say “no” to the widely prevalent culture of death.

It is an “anticulture” manifested, for example, in drugs, in the flight from reality to what is illusory, to a false happiness expressed in deceit, fraud, injustice and contempt for others, for solidarity, and for responsibility for the poor and the suffering; it is expressed in a sexuality that becomes sheer irresponsible enjoyment, that makes the human person into a “thing”, so to speak, no longer considered a person who deserves personal love which requires fidelity, but who becomes a commodity, a mere object.

Let us say “no” to this promise of apparent happiness, to this “pompa” of what may seem to be life but is in fact merely an instrument of death, and to this “anticulture”, in order to cultivate instead the culture of life. For this reason, the Christian “yes”, from ancient times to our day, is a great “yes” to life. It is our “yes” to Christ, our “yes” to the Conqueror of death and the “yes” to life in time and in eternity.

Just as in this baptismal dialogue the “no” is expressed in three renunciations, so too the “yes” is expressed in three expressions of loyalty: “yes” to the living God, that is, a God Creator and a creating reason who gives meaning to the cosmos and to our lives; “yes” to Christ, that is, to a God who did not stay hidden but has a name, words, a body and blood; to a concrete God who gives us life and shows us the path of life; “yes” to the communion of the Church, in which Christ is the living God who enters our time, enters our profession, enters daily life.

We might also say that the Face of God, the content of this culture of life, the content of our great “yes”, is expressed in the Ten Commandments, which are not a pack of prohibitions, of “noes”, but actually present a great vision of life.

They are a “yes” to a God who gives meaning to life (the first three Commandments); a “yes” to the family (Fourth Commandment); a “yes” to life (Fifth Commandment); a “yes” to responsible love (Sixth Commandment); a “yes” to solidarity, to social responsibility, to justice (Seventh Commandment); a “yes” to the truth (Eighth Commandment); a “yes” to respect for others and for their belongings (Ninth and 10th Commandments).

This is the philosophy of life, the culture of life that becomes concrete and practical and beautiful in communion with Christ, the living God, who walks with us in the companionship of his friends, in the great family of the Church."

–Pope Benedict XVI Feast of the Baptism of the Lord, 8 January 2006
 
With…prayer…study…grace…with a renewal of the mind…and with the “obedience of Faith” (one of Pauls term)…one joyfully makes the “Yes!”

The Yes certainly carries with it various no’s --but so too do the lesser yes’s in ones life…

“A gift of friendship implies a “yes” to the friend and a “no” to all that is incompatible with this friendship, to all that is incompatible with the life of God’s family, with true life in Christ.”

–Pope Benedict XVI Feast of the Baptism of the Lord, 8 January 2006

In Jesus of Nazareth (and thus in his Church) is true life.
 
but i do think the church is wrong. So then what? Should I not join? Is it better to not join at all then to disagree with a few things? There have been many times in the past where the church has been wrong.

I have no intentions of going around and convincing people to agree with me or anything like that. Can I not be Catholic and quietly disagree?

I have prayed about this daily, I have tried to prove myself wrong, but I’ve seen no changes.
Dear one,
It is sad that you find yourself in these struggles. But realistically we ALL come up against these kinds of struggles. Fortunately our Lord and His Church is nothing if not merciful in these matters.
I have no sage advice to offer here - but based upon the fact that you have stated in your OP that you have studied long and hard on these matters, I suggest you read the Section of the Catechism on Conscience.
Read this section, discuss it with your pastor, and then move forward in faith and upon your good conscience.
I do not see this problem as a reason to stay out of the Church especially as you say that it is not your intent to make public your inward struggles.

Peace
James
 
I am currently in the inquiry session of RCIA. I was baptized Catholic and raised Protestant and feel I have always had a close relationship with God. A Catholic friend of mine began debating with me on some of the differences between the Catholic and Protestant churches. When I began my research to refute his points, I actually found myself understanding the Catholic Church, and I feel very drawn to become Catholic.

Now before you read any further please note that this thread should NOT become a debate about birthcontrol.

Anyway, I am on birth control pills for medical reasons as perscribed by my doctor, and I disagree that birth control is a mortal sin. (I understand that it is not a sin if I’m not having sex) However, I think it is ridiculous that when I am married I would have to be celibate in my marriage if I am to continue with birth control.

I also disagree that IVF is a mortal sin, and if I ever found out I could not have kids I probably would go through with IVF.

I have researched the Catholic teachings and philosophies behind these teachings long and hard and I just can’t come to agree with the church on these issues.

However, where my problem really lies is with my inelligibility to take communion if I were doing these things.

I don’t want to be part of a church where I can’t recieve communion. And I am aware that many Catholics use birth control and still recieve communion, but I think it would be disrespectful to recieve it if the church doesn’t want me to.

I do know that one of the criteria for something to be cosidered mortal sin is that the person must know it is a mortal sin.

So would it not be a mortal sin for me then since I don’t know that it is a sin?
Or is it enough that I know that church considers it a mortal sin?
I dont understand why one would become Catholic and not want to follow the Church. The Church does not require understanding of all things but just like God the Church requires obedience. Here is the test. If your condition could be treated without ABC ( and it probably can) would you go off of ABC? As for IVF… You seriously place such importance on genetic biology that you would kill to have what you want? Nope, not Catholic at all.
 
I also disagree that IVF is a mortal sin, and if I ever found out I could not have kids I probably would go through with IVF.
The Church teaches that life begins at conception and that it is wrong to murder innocent people. IVF treatment often involves “embryonic discarding” of the “excess” lives created in IV.
 
I don’t agree that that’s what the Church teaches.

If a married women must take the pill for medical reasons (often dubious as you state, but let’'s assume it’s true), she would not be required to abstain from sex. It’s an issue of double effect. If the intent is not contraceptive, it’s not sinful.

It’s just like the case where a women needs medical treatment that may, or will, kill her unborn baby (e.g. ectopic pregnancy & removal of fallopian tube). It is not immoral to have the treatment, as long as the true purpose is to cure a disease or defect, even if the death of the child results.

Similarly if your wife insists on taking the pill to prevent pregnancy, you are still allowed to have sex with her, as long as you periodically try to change her mind to conform with Church teaching. Or, if your spouse was sterilized, you can have sex with them.

God Bless
The problem with having sex while under the influence of the birth control pill is its potential to act as an abortifacient. You cannot under any circumstances risk the possibility of murdering an unborn child, a fertilized egg attempting to attach to the uterine wall. Since the hormonal birth control pill offers a non-zero chance of this happening, according to some research, it is imperative that people who are using this for medical reasons need to abstain from sex.

There are better ways to treat conditions that are commonly treated with the use of birth control pills. I second the suggestion that you consult a Catholic medical-ethics organization and/or locate and use a practicing Catholic OB/GYN in your area who is willing to abide by the ethical teachings of the Catholic Church.
 
With…prayer…study…grace…with a renewal of the mind…and with the “obedience of Faith” (one of Pauls term)…one joyfully makes the “Yes!”

The Yes certainly carries with it various no’s --but so too do the lesser yes’s in ones life…

“A gift of friendship implies a “yes” to the friend and a “no” to all that is incompatible with this friendship, to all that is incompatible with the life of God’s family, with true life in Christ.”

–Pope Benedict XVI Feast of the Baptism of the Lord, 8 January 2006

In Jesus of Nazareth (and thus in his Church) is true life.
 
I am currently in the inquiry session of RCIA. I was baptized Catholic and raised Protestant and feel I have always had a close relationship with God. A Catholic friend of mine began debating with me on some of the differences between the Catholic and Protestant churches. When I began my research to refute his points, I actually found myself understanding the Catholic Church, and I feel very drawn to become Catholic.

Now before you read any further please note that this thread should NOT become a debate about birthcontrol.

Anyway, I am on birth control pills for medical reasons as perscribed by my doctor, and I disagree that birth control is a mortal sin. (I understand that it is not a sin if I’m not having sex) However, I think it is ridiculous that when I am married I would have to be celibate in my marriage if I am to continue with birth control.

I also disagree that IVF is a mortal sin, and if I ever found out I could not have kids I probably would go through with IVF.

I have researched the Catholic teachings and philosophies behind these teachings long and hard and I just can’t come to agree with the church on these issues.

However, where my problem really lies is with my inelligibility to take communion if I were doing these things.

I don’t want to be part of a church where I can’t recieve communion. And I am aware that many Catholics use birth control and still recieve communion, but I think it would be disrespectful to recieve it if the church doesn’t want me to.

I do know that one of the criteria for something to be cosidered mortal sin is that the person must know it is a mortal sin.

So would it not be a mortal sin for me then since I don’t know that it is a sin?
Or is it enough that I know that church considers it a mortal sin?
One of the bad effects with birth control pills (even taken not as contraception) is that breakthrough ovulation may occur because the estrogen level is so low (they do that to prevent blood clots) that it doesn’t suppress ovulation* all of the time. Breakthrough ovulation* means that fertilization** can** occur, but if it does, implantation within the womb is prevented (through hardening of the lining of the womb) by another effect of that same pill, so an induced abortion at one week of life will occur.
 
I have prayed about this daily, I have tried to proove myself wrong, but I’ve seen no changes.
It is …an act of Faith and of will. It is by the Holy Spirit and our cooperation in will – a renewal of mind

We conform ourselves to truth …to what the Church which teaches with the authority of Jesus teaches…and such takes as the Scriptures tell us a certain amount of “putting to death” of what has been thought and done before…a renewal of mind (see the quotes above from Pope Benedict XVI). Paul tells us we are to “put to death” …that which is contrary to Christ.

But such a choice is one of* true life*.
 
I am currently in the inquiry session of RCIA. I was baptized Catholic and raised Protestant and feel I have always had a close relationship with God. A Catholic friend of mine began debating with me on some of the differences between the Catholic and Protestant churches. When I began my research to refute his points, I actually found myself understanding the Catholic Church, and I feel very drawn to become Catholic.

Now before you read any further please note that this thread should NOT become a debate about birthcontrol.

Anyway, I am on birth control pills for medical reasons as perscribed by my doctor, and I disagree that birth control is a mortal sin. (I understand that it is not a sin if I’m not having sex) However, I think it is ridiculous that when I am married I would have to be celibate in my marriage if I am to continue with birth control.

I also disagree that IVF is a mortal sin, and if I ever found out I could not have kids I probably would go through with IVF.

I have researched the Catholic teachings and philosophies behind these teachings long and hard and I just can’t come to agree with the church on these issues.

However, where my problem really lies is with my inelligibility to take communion if I were doing these things.

I don’t want to be part of a church where I can’t recieve communion. And I am aware that many Catholics use birth control and still recieve communion, but I think it would be disrespectful to recieve it if the church doesn’t want me to.

I do know that one of the criteria for something to be cosidered mortal sin is that the person must know it is a mortal sin.

So would it not be a mortal sin for me then since I don’t know that it is a sin?
Or is it enough that I know that church considers it a mortal sin?
Hi, and I am prayerful that your RCIA experience will continue to enlighten you as you discern the Holy Catholic Church. If you’re thinking that not using birth control equals chastity, there is still a large chunk of Catholic doctrine which you may have read, but you didn’t truly understand. Please continue to read Humanae Vitae prayerfully, as well as the CCC. Discuss with the priest at your parish, and remember that in the end there are bound to be one or two things that you may have to accept on faith until you completely understand them, or even if you never do. There is an element of faith that involves obedience, when all else fails, taking the humble approach that the magesterium of the Catholic Church, when defining a doctrine do have a great deal more theological knowledge in the long run than most of us folks. There will be others on this thread who may wish to take on each of your points in detail, but overall, I’d just like to say that you’re in my prayers, and I hope that you continue to enter the church prayerfully, and in a sense, "remove your sandals. You’re standing on Holy ground.

God bless,

Steven
 
but i do think the church is wrong. So then what? Should I not join? Is it better to not join at all then to disagree with a few things? There have been many times in the past where the church has been wrong.

I have no intentions of going around and convincing people to agree with me or anything like that. Can I not be Catholic and quietly disagree?

I have prayed about this daily, I have tried to proove myself wrong, but I’ve seen no changes.
Aren’t you still in inquiry in RCIA? Why not decide not to commit to disagreeing with the Church for a while? But really, yes, I think it is better that you not accept confirmation into the Church, and the sealing of the Holy Spirit, until you can be obedient to the Church, and are willing to accept her doctrines. Why would you even want to? RCIA isn’t timed. I stayed on with them as a ministry for a couple years after my confirmation, and there are some people who were in there for 3 years due to a combination of wishing further discernment, and/or lacking form or documentation. We’re not trying to just fill pews. We’re being the Church established by Jesus Christ. It is possible you may take a long time for discernment, and that’s fine. Only you will know. But one of the signs that it is the proper time will be when you agree that you can faithfully accept the creeds and teaching of the Church. This is intended in charity. Please don’t be offended in any way by what I’m saying. I hope it doesn’t sound too offputting. I’m just saying, this is important stuff. Many confirmed Catholics were not properly catechised. They will take care of that over time between the their own consciences and the Church, as well as our blessed Lord. To go into confirmation knowing that you don’t believe in the Church would be wrong. It would violate your own conscience. Take your time. Ask for prayers, and please speak with your pastor.

May God bless you, always,

Steven
 
Discuss with the priest at your parish, and remember that in the end there are bound to be one or two things that you may have to accept on faith until you completely understand them, or even if you never do. There is an element of faith that involves obedience, when all else fails, taking the humble approach that the magesterium of the Catholic Church, when defining a doctrine do have a great deal more theological knowledge in the long run than most of us folks.
This.

While it would be ideal that you embrace all teachings of the Catholic Church whole-heartedly, the reality is that this may never happen. The next best position is to accept that the Church, guided by the Holy Spirit, is teaching you what is correct. But even if you find it difficult to accept that the Church is correct, you can still submit yourself obediently to the Church, accepting that she has authority over you.

What would be truly sinful would be to *defiantly *decide the Church is wrong and to *refuse *to entertain any possibility that you are mistaken.
 
but i do think the church is wrong. So then what? Should I not join? Is it better to not join at all then to disagree with a few things? There have been many times in the past where the church has been wrong.

I have no intentions of going around and convincing people to agree with me or anything like that. Can I not be Catholic and quietly disagree?

I have prayed about this daily, I have tried to proove myself wrong, but I’ve seen no changes.
You have determined that your belief is different. Accepting that you are correct then you cannot join without lying.

For brevity here is part of the 1962 Ritual Romanum (note this is not what RCIA uses):
APPENDIX: RECEPTION OF CONVERTS AND PROFESSION OF FAITH

SHORT FORM FOR PROFESSION OF FAITH
(In case of grave necessity only)

I, N.N., reared in the Protestant religion (or another religion as the case may be) but now by the grace of God brought to the knowledge of the truth, sincerely and solemnly declare that I firmly believe and profess all that the holy, Catholic, apostolic, and Roman Church believes and teaches, and I reject and condemn whatever she rejects and condemns.
The usual long form is given here also:

sanctamissa.org/en/resources/books-1962/rituale-romanum/61-appendix-reception-of-converts-profession-of-faith.html

RCIA uses this, RCIA #491 states:
“I believe and profess all that the holy Catholic Church believes, teaches, and proclaims to be revealed by God.“
 
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