What to do instead of divorce?

[SurlyMermaid]

I’m stuck. I recently married for a third time after a brief courtship. We were living together last year and I realized he was NOT the person I wanted to spend my life with. Even though I was very agnostic, I felt compelled to pray really hard about moving out. I was looking at apartments for me and the kids. During this time I found out I was pregnant. He proposed a few months later. I had planned on saying “No” but he did it in front of his visiting family, who I love more than most anything.

In a nutshell, he is very moody and everyone around him feels like they can’t do anything right. Not his family, our kids, co-workers. He is less and less affectionate with me. I go to bed crying more often than not. He is more than not unsatisfied with everything.

My kids want to move out and so does his son. I have trouble talking to him; he shuts down.

I’m at a loss. My son thinks I need to just break up with my husband.

Please help. My family is out of the picture and I come from a long line of dysfunctional, divorced people. I have no clue what to do

I know. I “made my bed” and now I have to lie in it. We have a newborn and I want to make things work and for him to be happy being with me. I was never this stressed with either ex-husband.

 

[EasterJoy]

You need more help than we can give you. Find yourself a competent counsellor as soon as you can, OK? Since you are in RCIA, see your pastor about this, too.

 

[JRKH]

I agree with EasterJoy here. You really need to sit down with your pastor and go over these things. Sorry we really can’t help you here.

Peace
James

 

[Irishmom2]

We have a newborn and I want to make things work and for him to be happy being with me.

I agree with the other posters that you absolutely must talk to a priest or counselor.

But I want to say that what you said in the above quote is what matters most. Perhaps your RCIA classes have taught you so many things that you didn’t know in your previous marriages and you are going to make this one work. I applaud your wanting to make this work despite the problems present. Please do not listen to your son, or your friends or your family. Don’t even listen to any of us–except to get help with this from someone that can actually help you sort through this. May God bless you and guide you.

 

[anp1215]

I’m stuck. I recently married for a third time after a brief courtship. We were living together last year and I realized he was NOT the person I wanted to spend my life with. Even though I was very agnostic, I felt compelled to pray really hard about moving out. I was looking at apartments for me and the kids. During this time I found out I was pregnant. He proposed a few months later. I had planned on saying “No” but he did it in front of his visiting family, who I love more than most anything.

In a nutshell, he is very moody and everyone around him feels like they can’t do anything right. Not his family, our kids, co-workers. He is less and less affectionate with me. I go to bed crying more often than not. He is more than not unsatisfied with everything.

My kids want to move out and so does his son. I have trouble talking to him; he shuts down.

I’m at a loss. My son thinks I need to just break up with my husband.

Please help. My family is out of the picture and I come from a long line of dysfunctional, divorced people. I have no clue what to do

I know. I “made my bed” and now I have to lie in it. We have a newborn and I want to make things work and for him to be happy being with me. I was never this stressed with either ex-husband.

I’m so sorry. I also suggest that you seek the help of your priest and/or a counselor. I also wanted to add that last year, my husband was acting very similarly to this and I was thinking of divorce. He actually got a demotion and is now at a lower stress job and has changed into a totally different person. I now can’t believe how different he is and how depressed I was last year. I don’t know enough about your situation, but I just wanted to say it is possible for people to change, so keep praying. Pray pray pray.

 

[Musician]

Talk to a priest about this matter.
I will pray for you.

 

[joanofarc2008]

Talk to your priest - talk to your counselor. You will need to ask yourself this question - if you leave are you OK with being single for the rest of your life. Because you may be looking at the need for three decrees of nullity. Not to say that it may not happen due to issues that may be yours - no offense, but you need to be prepared for this in your decision making. Please start counseling and see your priest.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I’m stuck. I recently married for a third time after a brief courtship. We were living together last year and I realized he was NOT the person I wanted to spend my life with. Even though I was very agnostic, I felt compelled to pray really hard about moving out. I was looking at apartments for me and the kids. During this time I found out I was pregnant. He proposed a few months later. I had planned on saying “No” but he did it in front of his visiting family, who I love more than most anything.

In a nutshell, he is very moody and everyone around him feels like they can’t do anything right. Not his family, our kids, co-workers. He is less and less affectionate with me. I go to bed crying more often than not. He is more than not unsatisfied with everything.

My kids want to move out and so does his son. I have trouble talking to him; he shuts down.

I’m at a loss. My son thinks I need to just break up with my husband.

Please help. My family is out of the picture and I come from a long line of dysfunctional, divorced people. I have no clue what to do

I know. I “made my bed” and now I have to lie in it. We have a newborn and I want to make things work and for him to be happy being with me. I was never this stressed with either ex-husband.

Counseling. If he will go to marriage counseling, great. If not, you go on your own. Make sure you tell the counselor that it is not your goal to divorce or even separate, but that you want to work it out so you can be with your husband.

And, talk to your priest.

 

[Rita77]

you have gotten some great advice even though we can’t help that much on CAF its still nice that we all can support, talk and pray for eachother. you are in my prayers. God Bless :hug1:

 

[Rita77]

maritalhealing.com/ (Catholic too)

womenofgrace.com/en-us/default.aspx (Catholic and inspirational) you can watch some of her shows free on youtube. she talks about almost anything I hope you can find one thats helpful.