What to do? (weddings, non-Catholics, and the Eucharist)

[LotusCarsLtd]

My friend is getting married soon in the Church and my five friends and I are attending the wedding. One of them is Muslim, one a Catholic but doesn’t seem to practice, one a non-denominational Christian, one a non-religious individual born Catholic, and one a non-religious individual born Lutheran. I recently considered that they might not know about non-Catholics not being able to receive the Eucharist and I wondered if I should tell them to not receive communion when they attend the wedding.

I don’t know if they even plan to but I don’t know how I should tell them (if at all). I have moralized them in the past and that hasn’t gone over well. I’m not sure if they would take me seriously, reject what I say, or get angry or something. But then again I wonder if I need to do my part to protect the Eucharist. For some of them they might just view it as a mere wafer that’s completely meaningless and they might question “who cares if we eat it?”. I really don’t think they would buy the whole “for the sake of your soul don’t take it”.

I do have an appointment with my spiritual director soon and I plan on asking him but I also wanted to get people’s thoughts on this.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I think you should definitely bring it up. In case they don’t take your argument seriously perhaps you could say that it would be horribly offensive to Catholics if they took Communion. People don’t want to be un-PC these days so that might be a more useful tactic.

 

[Suspicious_Mind]

I would only tell the ones that haven’t gone through Holy Communion/Confirmation. So that would be the Lutheran, Muslim, non-denominational, and perhaps the individual that was born Catholic.

Besides that, you don’t really have the right to tell the Catholics not to, whether or not you think have been practicing or not, that’s not up to you. I doubt the Muslim would do it anyways. Plus, if you have been “moralizing” them in the past, why not tell your friend who’s getting married to let the others know?

Why is the onus on you?

 

[tfdtfd]

i think advice is ok in a friendly way but not to demand that they dont take the host . i dont think that would be correct . bringing it up in a way that is within a topic of conversation is ok . if im right ,even a priest is not allowed to refuse someone the host if they go up for it . in my opinion i think that it should be left up to the persons own conciounce .

i know people who take comunion who dont attend church on a regular basis ( maybe funerals ect ect) and dont go to confession , but who am i say who can and who cant . in a way its a bit judgemental to do so .

 

[floresco]

But then again I wonder if I need to do my part to protect the Eucharist.

This is really the job of the priest who is saying the Mass. He has the authority and experience and I expect your friends would find the message more acceptable from him.

Some priests do this automatically. You might ask your friend who is getting married to say something to the priest to ask him to announce that receiving the Eucharist should only be done by Catholics in a state of grace.

Anyhow, once people have been informed of the Church teaching on this, I don’t see that you have any duty to enforce it or convince them. Of course, if they ask you questions, answer honestly and kindly.

 

[1ke]

**If **it is anyone’s responsibility to instruct guests at a wedding in proper etiquette and Church requirements, it is the bride and groom or presiding priest. Not you.

 

[PatriceA]

**If **it is anyone’s responsibility to instruct guests at a wedding in proper etiquette and Church requirements, it is the bride and groom or presiding priest. Not you.

Exactly. If you are really concerned, present the situation to the bride and groom. They may not have even thought about the situation with all the other wedding preparations going on.

 

[kingal86]

You could just try and say in a friendly way that non-Catholics are not supposed to take Communion at Mass.

Before I came across this website I never never knew that (nor did I know about Catholics to have attended Confession and needing to be in a “state of grace”), so it would save them from making a genuine mistake and following all the Catholics going up to receive, if the priest doesn’t say. The “when in Rome” action of doing what most other people are doing during a ritual is very natural.

 

[Spencerian]

Hi.

As others have stated, it is the job of the presiding priest and the bride and groom to inform the wedding attendees.

I’m six months away from my nuptial Mass and have been concerned for my friend’s spiritual welfare in this area. While I know that my priest will also remind people, I took a page (web page, specifically) that a couple had created to help their non-Catholic friends and created a web site of my own to help in basic questions about the faith, how a Catholic nuptial Mass proceeds, what differs and why, as well as the importance of not receiving communion if you are non-Catholic or in a state of mortal sin. The wedding program will also have short language reminding others of this fact.

While I appreciate your concern about helping others avoid sin by receiving unworthily, I feel that you may be reacting inappropriately by judging the worthiness of others to receive. You cannot know everyone, their histories and reconciliations with our Lord. These are private matters not worn on our sleeves for the purpose of others to see that “See? I’m free of sin!” or “See? I’m Catholic!”

It the Lord who will judge us, and only He can justly do so. While fellow Catholics should help in ensuring that our Eucharist is not used illicitly, not even most priests or bishops will withhold giving of the Eucharist (even with many public figures who have serious scandal) for they, too, know that it is not their place to make summary judgment on a person’s worthiness.

Remember that, even as a Catholic without mortal sin during the Eucharist, we still pray: “Lord, I am unworthy to receive you, but only say the word and I will be healed.”