What to do when a friend leaves the Catholic faith?

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A friend of mine recently stopped practicing her Catholic faith. The main reason was not because she had some sin she couldn’t let go of, or because she just didn’t care, but because she has many close Protestant friends who truly love Christ. She couldn’t bring herself to say that Catholicism is the one true faith; and so now her point of view is that it doesn’t matter whether you’re Catholic or Protestant, all that matters is that you love Christ.

It pains me so much to know what she is leaving, and what she has rejected. I just am not sure how to walk the fine line between emphasizing the seriousness of leaving the vessel of truth itself, and still treating her as a Christian and interacting with her with love. I am realizing my tendency has been to de-emphasize the seriousness of what she did–I’ve never explicitly said that I’m ok with it (because I’m not), but I haven’t really made it clear that I really do believe this was a serious mistake. I’ve talked with her about non-Catholic Christians, and made it clear to her that I really do believe that they are truly Christian. I’ve told her I think the ecumenical movement is great, and that Christians really need to unite. However, I think I need to make more emphasis now on the absolute truth of Catholicism, and that it really does matter whether you’re Catholic or, well, not.

How do I do this with firmness but love. How do I make it clear how serious this is, without making things even worse and pushing her away completely?
 
timeandeternity said:
A friend of mine recently stopped practicing her Catholic faith. The main reason was not because she had some sin she couldn’t let go of, or because she just didn’t care, but because she has many close Protestant friends who truly love Christ. She couldn’t bring herself to say that Catholicism is the one true faith; and so now her point of view is that it doesn’t matter whether you’re Catholic or Protestant, all that matters is that you love Christ.

It pains me so much to know what she is leaving, and what she has rejected. I just am not sure how to walk the fine line between emphasizing the seriousness of leaving the vessel of truth itself, and still treating her as a Christian and interacting with her with love. I am realizing my tendency has been to de-emphasize the seriousness of what she did–I’ve never explicitly said that I’m ok with it (because I’m not), but I haven’t really made it clear that I really do believe this was a serious mistake. I’ve talked with her about non-Catholic Christians, and made it clear to her that I really do believe that they are truly Christian. I’ve told her I think the ecumenical movement is great, and that Christians really need to unite. However, I think I need to make more emphasis now on the absolute truth of Catholicism, and that it really does matter whether you’re Catholic or, well, not.

How do I do this with firmness but love. How do I make it clear how serious this is, without making things even worse and pushing her away completely?
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It seems to me there is more to her decision then just the example and friendship of her Protestant friends, after all she has you as a friend. 🙂 Also, if she thinks its doesn’t matter, then why not stay Catholic? You were right to point out to her that little matter of the truth, and this is what you must keep coming back to, addressing the sin of indifferentism and her abandonment of the Eucharist. Unfortunately, many Christians, Catholics included, Catholics go by their feeeeeeelings, not according to what is true or what isn’t. You might consider giving her some books that speak to the truth of the Catholic Faith; giving her a book is a way to act charitably and having her confront herself in the pages she reads. Just be available to her for discussion - and don’t stop praying for her. A couple of books that come to mind are Evangelical Is Not Enough (about liturgical worship) and Catholic for a Reason.
 
So, she chose her friends over Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. My guess is that she really didn’t know/believe that Jesus is truly, substantively present in the Eucharist. Also, she must not believe in many Catholic doctrines, like the Sacraments, etc.

Most Catholics who leave really don’t know their faith, or, the reject it. Sad.

All we can do is pray for her.
 
It is interesting to me. Within my own family, the two who have left Catholicism for Protestantism (as opposed to the many who simply drifted away into nothing in particular) did so for exactly the same “reasons.” It wasn’t a matter of embracing true doctrine; it was a matter of feeling so welcomed by their Protestant friends.

I don’t know that there’s one definitive answer as to how to handle it. In my case, I said that I was happy she was working more and more on her relationship with Jesus and on reading the Bible, but I was sad that we no longer shared the same faith. I said that the Catholic Church clearly teaches that the Eucharist is the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ, and [insert denomination] does not. The Eucharist either is or is not, so we cannot simply say it does not matter which branch of Christianity you belong to. So it’s something she really needs to think about and be sure of as I could not leave the Eucharist for any other group regardless of how friendly they are. But, in the end, I will always love her even if I don’t agree with her decision.

We haven’t really addressed the topic since then. She knows where I stand. I know where she stands.
 
I think many Catholics leave because it’s just plain easier to be Protestant. That’s my guess as to why, if it doesn’t matter either way if you’re Protestant or Catholic, she left the Church. So very sad…
If I were you, continue to pray for her and ALWAYS be a good example. If her Protestant friends dazzled her by example, you do the same. And I would still talk openly about your faith, but I wouldn’t cram it down her throat. And invite her now and then to Mass. You never know 🙂
 
and so now her point of view is that it doesn’t matter whether you’re Catholic or Protestant, all that matters is that you love Christ.
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Let your friend read [BIBLEDRB]Matthew 7:21-23[/BIBLEDRB]

and contemplate it. Jesus teaches the exact opposite of what your friend has come to believe. If you do not do the will of God (part of which is participating in the Sacraments) then all the love you have for Jesus probably won’t make much of a difference in the end apparently…seems it DOES matter after all.
 
thequeen said:
It could be that she wasn’t very well catechised also.
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That is probably true. I can share from experience since I left the Catholic faith in 1987 to be part of the Internal Church of Christ. When they studied the Bible with me I had no knowledge of sola scriptura and took everything at face value. Looking back now that I came home to the Catholic faith I believe if my knowledge of the Bible and of the Tradition had been much better I would never have left. But I think my faith was not that strong at that time as well. Pray for her and encourage her to study the history of the Church and also what the doctrine of sola scriptura is and why it is wrong.
 
It could be they meet an emotional need that is not being met in the church – I think people leave their own churches for about the same reason. One day your wife comes home speakign in tongues, and bingo she wants to attend a pentecostal church.
 
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