What to do when a priest's homily offends you?

[Angels_Unaware]

Ms. Meghan,

You completely took this the wrong way. You read something into the priest’s homily that was not there at all. Please believe me and the one or two other people who are telling you this.

The reason why you are taking this the wrong way is because you haven’t healed from it, and you sill blame yourself, you still judge yourself, and you expect others to judge you, too.

Unfortunately, now others are taking a judgemental tone with you on this thread, which might reinforce that fear.

I do not believe for one second your priest was calling you out. Go back and talk to him again, and tell him what’s going through your mind. You might need to go into counseling for this.

I am 100% pro-life, but I am pro-life because I am a Christian, and as a Christian our sins are made as white as snow under the blood of the Lamb. You are forgiven by God. I personally forgive you, if it makes you feel any better, and I love you as a sister in Christ and want you to heal.:hug1:

 

[Miserissima]

Do you not think that I think about what I deserve EVERYDAY of my life! This is what I am talking about - there is saying things that are true, yet have NO compassion in them at all.

To some, they speak in black and white. To others, it’s not so simple. I second Turtle18’s recommendation of Project Rachel. Here are two prayers from that site – one for you and one for us, respectively:

For parents overwhelmed by grief and remorse at the loss of their child to abortion, that Jesus the shepherd, so rich in mercy and compassion, might heal their broken hearts; we pray to the Lord:

For all who counsel the parents of aborted children, that God might reward them for the crosses they bear and grant them the words of wisdom to lead lost souls home to him, we pray to the Lord:

I have no doubt whatsoever that everyone here, in compassion, has offered prayers for you and your child before they posted, since this is such a sensitive topic. No one has condemned you, but the past act. Past.

If you have received the Sacrament of Reconciliation then it’s a matter that’s been laid to rest between you and God. As we have heard so often on the radio on Catholic Answers Live, the Baptism of Desire may apply to aborted children, and know that we – and you – desire that spiritual Baptism for your baby. Of course, we cannot presume on God’s mercy, but,

"As for children who have died without baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God (CCC 1261). We must always be careful to pray with the mind of the Church; to do otherwise is to go beyond the limits of revealed truth (from here).

So, we and you can only leave it to God. To express doubt in His forgiveness through His Sacraments through His Church is destroying you (a common after-effect of sin is doubt in His Infinite Mercy). You need to stop punishing yourself. Please contact
Catholic Psychological Consult,
catholictherapists.com/Find-A-Therapist.html, or
saintmichael.net/main_bottom.htm
Or, talk to your confessor about tips on how to go about forgiving yourself, since a homily affected you so deeply. I must throw my weight in with those who say the priest wasn’t speaking directly to or about you, but about that sin…and it’s bound to sound insensitive.

Margaret Sealy wrote in the Catholic Medical Quarterly (February 2003) that, “The Holy Father seems to foresee that this victory for the children and the Church will come about, since he has said to those facing the pain of abortion,] ‘You will be able to ask forgiveness of your child, who is now living in the Lord’ (Evangelium Vitae n 99).” We must continue to pray that these children, who have died without baptism, are truly to become the “Companion Martyrs to the Holy Innocents.”

 

[Miserissima]

…I am a heterosexual male rape victim…While Project Rachel might be helpful to some people in some areas of concern I don’t believe they have the resources or expertise in other areas.

You may try the Rape Crisis Service of the Catholic Charities of Jackson, Mississippi. (24- hour crisis hotline – 601-982-RAPE). They may lead you to something closer to where you live. If not, then perhaps you are called to start a crisis service through your parish or Archdiocese. No, I am not joking or challenging you.

Also, perhaps one of the links to Catholic counseling services I put above may help you. God bless!

 

[7_Sorrows]

i had a similar incident happent to me, only i wasn’t in a catholic church.

the sermon did not have anything to do with sin, but i definitely felt singled out in the sermon and i sent an e-mail to the priest telling him how hurt i was and how i felt singled out. of course,
his response was one of denial. it happened about two years ago.

actually, it was for the best, because i had long considered converting to catholicism and this was the push i needed. i find so much love and forgiveness in the catholic church and i have never looked back once. i am glad that i confronted the priest and did not let him get away with what he had done. he had just been promoted. i was going through a difficult time and had approached an associate rector to recommend someone for counseling. the associate rector never offered to speak with me nor did the priest - to offer any spiritual guidance. i decided this was not the church for me and it was time to join the one, true church. so, in my case God works in mysterious ways. if i had not sat there that morning and listened to that sermon i would still be stuck where i was in a church i didn’t feel comfortable in. i feel i have a home in the Catholic church now, and i can only pray for the priest who gave that sermon 2 years ago and i don’t have the hurt anymore. i know i made the right decision.