What to do when faced with a sign-holding homeless!?

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MarianDreams

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Our town does not have a big homeless problem, but there are a few here and there. The other day, I purchased my lunch at an El Pollo Loco, which consisted of two small burritos (chicken) and a small Diet Coke. There was a “rugged” looking “outdoorsman” with a sign standing at the exit to the shopping center. The sign read, “Help! Homeless and hungry! God bless!” Of course, my heart sank and I immediately became flustered. How can you not feel terrible for anyone begging for handouts? So humiliating!

Still… He was missing a lot of teeth and very dirty and looked a little deranged. There is a St. Vincent de Paul society in town and I know they would help this guy if he came banging on their door. I do not want to support homelesses in their drug addictions or loafing about - but I do not want to deny Christ Himself food when He is hungry, either!

What is the charitable, moral thing to do. Here are my options…
  1. Pretend I do not see the homeless/ignore him. Doesn’t sound nice, but saves everyone an uncomfortable moment, plus is probably the safest.
  2. Smile and wave to acknowledge the person, but drive on.
  3. Give money (how much?)
  4. Share food (this is what I did.)
  5. Hand the homeless directions to the local St. Vincent de Paul.
  6. Have a miniature New Testament with the St. Vincent de Paul’s address in the front.
  7. Discuss the problem with the homeless and see what his deal is and what he needs. Ask why he is not actively looking for work instead of holding a sign, etc.
 
I try to keep some kind of nourishing, non-perishable food in the car for just such occasions.
 
I’m willing to give, whatever it is they desire. As our associate priest said in a recent homily “What is it to you what they do with the money you give? You cannot be a babysitter. You must leave that between them and God. But, God is counting on you to make the right decision, and the moment you say no out of worry of assisting them, you deny the very call of Christ himself.”

Food, NT (if anyone knows where one can find pocket Catholic NT’s, PLEASE let me know. All I’m aware of is the Confraternity version at 10 a piece), money, a ride, or a conversation are all things I’ll give at the drop of a hat.
 
I live in a large city. I see at least one homeless person a day and often see several. I simply cannot help them all. So, I don’t help those holding signs on the street. I donate food, money and time as I can to the food banks and St. Vincent de Paul.

I have given some money to a few people when the spirit called, but it’s rare.
 
we prefer to do it wholesale, fed 500 at breakfast today, gave away 1000 children’s books, and donated fans and other household items. That was a small crowd for us (not us personally, the parish). I long ago gave up just handing food to panhandlers on the street as it is usually dumped in the nearest trash can. The places I frequent have drop-in places so food as in an immediate meal is rarely an issue. And as an old woman walking alone downtown I simply cannot afford to be typed as a soft touch for cash, that makes me very vulnerable. That is just a personal choice of how you help, when you help, and who you help. What is clear from the gospel is that we do have to help. I prefer to do it through agencies, church sponsored, in my own town. What you do is up to you, but do it.
 
MarianDreams,

Bless you! You did the right thing - #4, and if you could, #5 would be appropriate.

We’ve worked in St. Vincent dePaul conferences for a number of years, and each situation is heart-breaking…and almost requires very personal attention to effect a long-range solution. To make sure one is fed is first, always, however we can do it. Then, shelter. Check with your local police department to see if there is a community meal program or shelter. Then support it (them) with your volunteer time, and your money, if you wish.
 
I think giving him a bite to eat and a kind word is a great thing to do. They are treated so condescendingly by most of society that it really is heartbreaking. Sharing directions to the nearest homeless shelter is also a good idea. Donating and volunteering time at local charities is also a great way to help in the long run.
 
I don’t give them money, but I will pay for a second order of what I have eaten and give to them. FYI- a few months ago, my husband paid for an extra breakfast for a homeless man, he saw the man again a week later and he asked my husband for $20 because he was out of cell phone minutes!
 
Ok, I’ll be the cold hearted cynical jerk.

When someone was a drug addict, he had a sign that said “Homeless, anything helps. God bless”. When he got money (sometimes ALOT of it) he would run and get more drugs, not food.

Be careful just handing them money. I plead guilty to doing it too, just be careful.
 
puzzleannie said:
we prefer to do it wholesale, fed 500 at breakfast today, gave away 1000 children’s books, and donated fans and other household items. That was a small crowd for us (not us personally, the parish). I long ago gave up just handing food to panhandlers on the street as it is usually dumped in the nearest trash can. The places I frequent have drop-in places so food as in an immediate meal is rarely an issue. And as an old woman walking alone downtown I simply cannot afford to be typed as a soft touch for cash, that makes me very vulnerable. That is just a personal choice of how you help, when you help, and who you help. What is clear from the gospel is that we do have to help. I prefer to do it through agencies, church sponsored, in my own town. What you do is up to you, but do it.
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I’m with you. 👍

Our high school Youth Group feeds 100 homeless men a good hot dinner in a warm, clean, sheltered dining area, once a month - at the Drop In Centre - these are young women and men who, also, cannot afford to be tapped as “an easy mark” when out running their various errands - and they receive thanks from the men for their efforts at the end of the evening.
 
You can get gift cards from Subways in various denominations. That way they can at least get a meal, vs. booze. And there’s always a subways around most cities.
 
MarianDreams said:
Our town does not have a big homeless problem, but there are a few here and there. The other day, I purchased my lunch at an El Pollo Loco, which consisted of two small burritos (chicken) and a small Diet Coke. There was a “rugged” looking “outdoorsman” with a sign standing at the exit to the shopping center. The sign read, “Help! Homeless and hungry! God bless!” Of course, my heart sank and I immediately became flustered. How can you not feel terrible for anyone begging for handouts? So humiliating!

Still… He was missing a lot of teeth and very dirty and looked a little deranged. There is a St. Vincent de Paul society in town and I know they would help this guy if he came banging on their door. I do not want to support homelesses in their drug addictions or loafing about - but I do not want to deny Christ Himself food when He is hungry, either!

What is the charitable, moral thing to do. Here are my options…
  1. Pretend I do not see the homeless/ignore him. Doesn’t sound nice, but saves everyone an uncomfortable moment, plus is probably the safest.
  2. Smile and wave to acknowledge the person, but drive on.
  3. Give money (how much?)
  4. Share food (this is what I did.)
  5. Hand the homeless directions to the local St. Vincent de Paul.
  6. Have a miniature New Testament with the St. Vincent de Paul’s address in the front.
  7. Discuss the problem with the homeless and see what his deal is and what he needs. Ask why he is not actively looking for work instead of holding a sign, etc.
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2 (smile or otherwise acknowledge but don’t drive on), 4, 5, 6 (I’d ask if they’re interested in being given the NT). A homeless without an addiction to alcohol/drugs must be a very rare occurrence, so money is out (unless you think the high they’ll get is a good break from an unbearably harsh reality). For all I know he could be a paranoid schizophrenic who hasn’t been taking his medication and who’s very anxious to get his next dose of heroin/cocaine, so there’s a safety issue I think. And you might not get much coherence, and their being on the street is often the result of severe psychological, mental, spiritual issues, so a 10 min “conversation” is not going to do much in that regard. Last but not least, a prayer to God that he’ll lead this poor soul to a place of restoration. God bless for your kind heart.
 
Not too long ago, I asked a priest about this one since I’d been finding myself in your shoes quite often, OP, and he gave me a very definitive answer which I’ve taken as the final word from one in loco Christi…if you are struggling with this, you may find it helpful to do the same.
 
I live 7mi from downtown Indianapolis.I see people with these type signs.There are lots of places to get help and I’m sure they must know it.I think help should come through channels.I see no need for people to have signs.Mainly they just don/t want to go through the little red tape and want to be free.Do these people appear malnutricioused or wear torn worn out clothes?I’ve yet to see a starving looking person.I just mind my own business.
 
iwillrisenow said:
Not too long ago, I asked a priest about this one since I’d been finding myself in your shoes quite often, OP, and he gave me **a very definitive answer **which I’ve taken as the final word from one in loco Christi…if you are struggling with this, you may find it helpful to do the same.
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It’s late and I might not have understood what you meant, but what is the priest’s “very definitive answer”? Or you mean we should talk to a priest and do exactly what he tells us?
 
In my city the Diocese operates a walk-in restaurant for dinner. They will feed all comers, no questions asked. There’s no need to sit on the corner asking for food.

And in some cities, panhandling for money on streets is not an indication of need, it’s an occupation. And it can be quite profitable.

I saw a recent program in which John Stossel dressed like a homeless man and held a sign, asking for money. He made a pretty good take. Then he changed the sign to read something like “I won’t lie to you, I need money for beer.” He still made a pretty good take.
 
This thread inspired me to perhaps carry some gift cards to common fast food restruants on them. If I felt safe approaching a homeless person, I would give them a card. I might also give a small NT and/or the address of a local ministry.
 
Start picking up canned goods and soft drinks they can use and maybe spare soap and shampoo as well as other items and make a small bag of them and when you encounter them again. Give it to them. It won’t cost much and then be very sure that your left hand doesn’t know what your right hand is doing. 🙂
 
Number 4 (what you did) Is probably the best option. and if possible, offer them a lift to a homeless shelter if that is feasable. You never know when a homeless person may be an angel in disguise. Water is also good to hand out, if you have some handy. Or anything else for their comfort, provided it is not something they can trade for other “self medicating” merchandise. Good call. We usually have more than enough, and it never hurts to share. 👍
 
benidict said:
Number 4 (what you did) Is probably the best option. and if possible, offer them a lift to a homeless shelter if that is feasable.
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:eek:

A woman alone (I don’t really care how old) should never offer a ride to a strange man who may likely have some kind of mental health issues.
 
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