What to do when faced with a sign-holding homeless!?

[BVM_1221]

Here in Los Angeles, we have many such, some of whom are not really homeless but make a good living by pretending to be so.

What to do?

1. Pay my taxes, which are supposed to help people like that.
   Two words: General Relief.
2. Contribute generously to Alcoholics Anonymous. I KNOW that my money will be put to good use in that organization.:yup:
3. Another name for the homeless is panhandlers. Many are alcoholics and drug addicts. That is another reason I NEVER give money to the homeless. :tsktsk:

izza:But if propositioned near a fast food place, I offer to buy them a meal. If near a market or gas station, I offer to buy them a sandwich.

 

[SanctaMommy]

You know, I have a problem with this too. A few times I’ve offered a homeless person a bagel or a bottle of water, only to be turned down and asked for cash. I was dumbstruck, although I do realize that an addict is a very sick person who will go to any lengths to get his or her “fix.” One time, I purchased a sandwich and a bag of chips at a local sandwich shop, and a homeless man was lying in wait outside. He approached me for change, and when I told him I didn’t carry cash, I offered him my bag of chips. He flat out turned them down!

I have always been amazed at how “robust” many homeless people appear too - definitely not malnourished or starving. I am not sure what the right answer is. Offering food, water or helpful information seem like good ideas.

BUT DO NOT GIVE A HOMELESS PERSON A RIDE! Good Lord! Most homeless people are not just normal guys “down on their luck.” They are severely mentally ill and addicted to drugs. The last thing you should do is put yourself into a confined space with one of them.

 

[CeciliaS]

In a larger city, homeless people have access to enough food on a daily basis. The idea some project, that they need food or else they will starve, is only a maneuver to pull heartstrings. As one poster mentioned, when do you ever see someone scrawny or suffering from malnutrition?

The idea of offering a ride disturbs me: really, it is as dangerous as opening your home to a stranger!

I feel it is my Christian duty to acknowledge the person, and even while I am telling them I don’t have any cash to give them, I want to treat them with the respect and human kindness they deserve. Here is my dilemma: often when I show respect and give them a smile, they take that as an invitation to become best buddies! Evidently it sets me up as an easy mark. My words say “I have nothing to give” but my expression and attitude keeps them hoping that maybe I am only saying that, and if they insist on a nice person like I seem to be, I will soften up.

What am I doing wrong? Is the only way to get out of a situation like that to stop being friendly?

CeciliaS

 

[Soldier_Of_God]

My tax and charitable contributions fund a number of homeless shelters and programs in the city I live and work. Consequently, I’m not inclined to give money directly to an individual but would rather instead buy them food. If you donate money, they may use if for other purposes (e.g. buy alcohol) that would be contrary to the spirit of the intended charity.

I recall a personal incident where I bought someone a sandwich (actually a hotdog) and they just turned around and threw it away. To me, this highlights the fact the money they receive from people is used for other reasons or motivations than allaying their hunger. Albeit, it could have been the person didn’t like hotdogs but I doubt that was the case.

 

[JimG]

youtube.com/watch?v=4teq7aKTNJ4

 

[benidict]

A woman alone (I don’t really care how old) should never offer a ride to a strange man who may likely have some kind of mental health issues.

No disagreement here. Its a judgement call. Even for a guy. You can always offer to call a cab and have them transported to, and follow to pay the bill. Make sure you do it from the safety of your car though.

 

[jmcrae]

What am I doing wrong? Is the only way to get out of a situation like that to stop being friendly?

Act like you’re a little “off” yourself - smile, but be really ditzy, and “miss” all the clues and hints they are giving out that you have to relent and give them money. (If all else fails, hand him your emergency tampax to hold while you “try to find” your coin purse - which you just remembered is at home on the dresser - oh, dear - he wouldn’t happen to have spare change for the bus, would he? That you could borrow. Because you’ll see him again tomorrow, and you can give it back to him, then.)

They’ll never bother you again.

 

[JamestheOlder]

youtube.com/watch?v=4teq7aKTNJ4

Boy, Jim, that can really make one cynical, can’t it?

In RCIA, we used to show the video, “We Have a Table for Four Ready”, about a Franciscan operation in Philly. One point was that there were many “returnees” for daily free meals. When we see the big rallies in Atlanta, for example, where free meals are offered just for a holiday, we often wonder…how many of those folks come for the free dinner…not because they “need” it.

That’s why we put our maney and time with St. Vincent dePaul. If the STVP conference truly follows Frederick Ozanam’s guidelines, there are not just free “handouts”, where most of the (above) problems arise. There are directed efforts to befriend someone who needs help, so the help can be tailored to the individual’s situation. But even there, addiction is not usually handled, because there is no one trained to help in that area of expertise.

If you feel you cannot help personally, try to join with a group that offers real help, not just a “bandaid”. But, if that’s all that’s available, even the “bandaid” covers some wounds.

But please don’t just walk by, or walk away. We are called to much more than that.

 

[Holly3278]

I would take the homeless person to a homeless shelter and offer to help him find a job or a place to live.

 

[benidict]

I would take the homeless person to a homeless shelter and offer to help him find a job or a place to live.

So I was correct about you Holly. You are a walking talking Saint. God bless you. You are one who shall not lose her reward. Peace and prayers.

 

[Rock_Happy]

Our town does not have a big homeless problem, but there are a few here and there. The other day, I purchased my lunch at an El Pollo Loco, which consisted of two small burritos (chicken) and a small Diet Coke. There was a “rugged” looking “outdoorsman” with a sign standing at the exit to the shopping center. The sign read, “Help! Homeless and hungry! God bless!” Of course, my heart sank and I immediately became flustered. How can you not feel terrible for anyone begging for handouts? So humiliating!

Still… He was missing a lot of teeth and very dirty and looked a little deranged. There is a St. Vincent de Paul society in town and I know they would help this guy if he came banging on their door. I do not want to support homelesses in their drug addictions or loafing about - but I do not want to deny Christ Himself food when He is hungry, either!

What is the charitable, moral thing to do. Here are my options…

1. Pretend I do not see the homeless/ignore him. Doesn’t sound nice, but saves everyone an uncomfortable moment, plus is probably the safest.
2. Smile and wave to acknowledge the person, but drive on.
3. Give money (how much?)
4. Share food (this is what I did.)
5. Hand the homeless directions to the local St. Vincent de Paul.
6. Have a miniature New Testament with the St. Vincent de Paul’s address in the front.
7. Discuss the problem with the homeless and see what his deal is and what he needs. Ask why he is not actively looking for work instead of holding a sign, etc.

There is no winter to speak of where I live, and there are MANY homeless people here. I don’t give them money. I make a point of carrying gift certificates for fast food in my pocket to hand out. Even if not the most nutritious, I figure its better than rummaging through trash. I also volunteer for an annual veterans event here to help homeless veterans. I work in a medical facility which takes care of a lot of these people.

On a personal note, I find myself getting angry that every homeless person where I live puts on (often mismatch) military BDU’s and holds up a sign which says “Homeless Vet”. A large percentage of the homeless population is PTSD vets, but you would think it is 90% of the population based on how they present themselves in order to get sympathy.

 

[The_Old_Medic]

Several years ago, the San Diego Union-Tribune decided to see just how people begging for funds and claiming to be homeless really lived. They followed several people who generally hung around the Plaza in downtown San Diego.

It turned out that ALL of them either lived in their own homes, or in nice apartments. One man lived in a very upper class section of town, in his own home, and admitted that he had been taking in over $150,000 a year in donations for the past several years. He had quit his job, because he was making more begging, than he did working for wages.

He had taken classes in stage makeup, and he looked and dressed the part of a homeless wretch. He was raking in cash, his spiel being a very practiced one. He had to quit after the article came out.

Now I will admit that not everyone is doing this, or anything even remotely close. But, how do you know who is legitimate, and who is not?

I will never, ever give such people cash. The odds are way too high that it would be spent on liquor or drugs.

I have purchased a meal for people (meaning I took them to a restaurant and paid for the meal in advance, with the understanding that the facility would NOT give them any cash, even if they chose not to eat). I have given them directions to a shelter. I have referred people to St. Vincent’s de Paul programs, or to other programs that help the indigent.

I have referred many people to local mental health programs (I am a retired Professional Counselor). I have even, on rare occasions, given such people a ride to the nearest such facility. I don’t give any single people ride, because of fear of being robbed, and would only offer this if they have children. Even then, if I have the money, I prefer to call a cab.

It is sad that there are no longer mandatory programs to help the mentally ill and the addicted. Even state hospitals are better that the lives that many of these people lead.

 

[Rock_Happy]

Several years ago, the San Diego Union-Tribune decided to see just how people begging for funds and claiming to be homeless really lived. They followed several people who generally hung around the Plaza in downtown San Diego.

It turned out that ALL of them either lived in their own homes, or in nice apartments. One man lived in a very upper class section of town, in his own home, and admitted that he had been taking in over $150,000 a year in donations for the past several years. He had quit his job, because he was making more begging, than he did working for wages.

He had taken classes in stage makeup, and he looked and dressed the part of a homeless wretch. He was raking in cash, his spiel being a very practiced one. He had to quit after the article came out.

Now I will admit that not everyone is doing this, or anything even remotely close. But, how do you know who is legitimate, and who is not?

I will never, ever give such people cash. The odds are way too high that it would be spent on liquor or drugs.

I have purchased a meal for people (meaning I took them to a restaurant and paid for the meal in advance, with the understanding that the facility would NOT give them any cash, even if they chose not to eat). I have given them directions to a shelter. I have referred people to St. Vincent’s de Paul programs, or to other programs that help the indigent.

I have referred many people to local mental health programs (I am a retired Professional Counselor). I have even, on rare occasions, given such people a ride to the nearest such facility. I don’t give any single people ride, because of fear of being robbed, and would only offer this if they have children. Even then, if I have the money, I prefer to call a cab.

It is sad that there are no longer mandatory programs to help the mentally ill and the addicted. Even state hospitals are better that the lives that many of these people lead.

$150K/yr = about $75/hr for a 40 hour week and two weeks vacation per year. That makes me want to stake out one of these guys to see how many people hand them money in an hour, out of curiosity. I am somewhat skeptical of the claim.

 

[jmcrae]

$150K/yr = about $75/hr for a 40 hour week and two weeks vacation per year. That makes me want to stake out one of these guys to see how many people hand them money in an hour, out of curiosity. I am somewhat skeptical of the claim.

If they get $5.00 from one driver every time the light turns red, that’s $150.00 an hour. So, it’s actually reasonable, if the guy is good at his trade, and evokes the right kind of sympathy.

 

[meltzerboy]

Our town does not have a big homeless problem, but there are a few here and there. The other day, I purchased my lunch at an El Pollo Loco, which consisted of two small burritos (chicken) and a small Diet Coke. There was a “rugged” looking “outdoorsman” with a sign standing at the exit to the shopping center. The sign read, “Help! Homeless and hungry! God bless!” Of course, my heart sank and I immediately became flustered. How can you not feel terrible for anyone begging for handouts? So humiliating!

Still… He was missing a lot of teeth and very dirty and looked a little deranged. There is a St. Vincent de Paul society in town and I know they would help this guy if he came banging on their door. I do not want to support homelesses in their drug addictions or loafing about - but I do not want to deny Christ Himself food when He is hungry, either!

What is the charitable, moral thing to do. Here are my options…

1. Pretend I do not see the homeless/ignore him. Doesn’t sound nice, but saves everyone an uncomfortable moment, plus is probably the safest.
2. Smile and wave to acknowledge the person, but drive on.
3. Give money (how much?)
4. Share food (this is what I did.)
5. Hand the homeless directions to the local St. Vincent de Paul.
6. Have a miniature New Testament with the St. Vincent de Paul’s address in the front.
7. Discuss the problem with the homeless and see what his deal is and what he needs. Ask why he is not actively looking for work instead of holding a sign, etc.

I think you did the right thing, sharing food with this person. Since I live in NYC, I experience the plight of the homeless on a daily basis. Sometimes I give money, sometimes food, but other times (I admit) nothing. Since there are often so many people begging either on the street or especially in the subway, one often has to make choices. Furthermore, there is a law against panhandling and giving money to panhandlers (including organizations who claim to be collecting for the hungry) in the subway, though people–including myself–give anyway on occasion. We New Yorkers are more generous than others may think, and we also become quite skilled at telling who is pretending and who is sincere. Usually when a person asks for food, that’s a sincere sign. Despite all of this, however, since I am a Jew, work in a Vincentian Catholic University, and am by nature a soft touch (though not nearly the saint that Holly is), I tend to give something regardless of the person’s intentions.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Check with your parish’s Knights of Columbus or Knights of Columbus women’s auxiliary to see if they know of these homeless people.

Just a phone call is all you need.

Based on my experience, they already know these people and can tell you if they are really homeless or if panhandling is just their way of making tax-free money.

There are plenty of organized small group charities keeping their eyes out for legitimate cases that need help. They literally leap into action at the first sign of real need.

And the church groups keep in touch with one another and with the town social worker community so that nobody really falls through cracks.

So, my advice would be not to give them anything.

More than one of my friends has observed these people “commuting” to their panhandling jobs. And one of my friends reported intense agitation by the panhandlers when well-meaning people engaged them in conversation to try to help them; the conversations were taking time away from collecting money.

Some panhandlers are severely mentally ill or are on drugs and their behavior toward someone handing out money may be unpredictable.

Stay away.

 

[Robertanthony]

Once last winter when it was minus 10-15 C outside, a group of volunteers of a charity organization were asking for money for poor people at a light (which annoys me personally) I remarked to the person sitting next to me that it sometimes appears as though volunteers are more motivated to get help for the poor than the poor are to help themselves. I’m all for charity, but I recall Paul’s harsh words along the lines that if someone won’t work he won’t eat. Where do we draw the line between a freeloader exploiting people’s goodness and legitimate charity?

 

[Rock_Happy]

I think you did the right thing, sharing food with this person. Since I live in NYC, I experience the plight of the homeless on a daily basis. Sometimes I give money, sometimes food, but other times (I admit) nothing. Since there are often so many people begging either on the street or especially in the subway, one often has to make choices. Furthermore, there is a law against panhandling and giving money to panhandlers (including organizations who claim to be collecting for the hungry) in the subway, though people–including myself–give anyway on occasion. We New Yorkers are more generous than others may think, and we also become quite skilled at telling who is pretending and who is sincere. Usually when a person asks for food, that’s a sincere sign. Despite all of this, however, since I am a Jew, work in a Vincentian Catholic University, and am by nature a soft touch (though not nearly the saint that Holly is), I tend to give something regardless of the person’s intentions.

When I was in Turkey, a family befriended me. I still recall the comment, “even your homeless people are overweight.” Going to Afghanistan gave me a new definition of poverty. The capital of the country does not even have a sewer system. I was once distracted by a donkey eating human waste in the street, at great personal cost to myself and others. Things are even worse in sub-Saharan Africa, where kids eat dirt to try to survive. The homeless people that I have the most compassion for are the ones who are apparently suffering mentally and emotionally. A friend of mine and her daughter moved into a homeless shelter while she got back on her feet after a job loss. Many people are living just one of two paychecks away from being on the street. I try not to be innured to their plight.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

When I was in Turkey, a family befriended me. I still recall the comment, “even your homeless people are overweight.” Going to Afghanistan gave me a new definition of poverty. The capital of the country does not even have a sewer system. I was once distracted by a donkey eating human waste in the street, at great personal cost to myself and others. Things are even worse in sub-Saharan Africa, where kids eat dirt to try to survive. The homeless people that I have the most compassion for are the ones who are apparently suffering mentally and emotionally. A friend of mine and her daughter moved into a homeless shelter while she got back on her feet after a job loss. Many people are living just one of two paychecks away from being on the street. I try not to be innured to their plight.

In foreign countries such as sub-Saharan Africa, the hunger issues have to do with the politics … which deliberately create famine conditions.

Zimbabwe, for example, at one time was the breadbasket of Africa. Then it went “socialist” … actually a maximum totalitarian state … a “thugocracy” … and is now the basketcase of Africa.

Some expatriate friends of mine in Niger complain that EVERYTHING grows there, but that the government policies make it pointless to even try.

Afghanistan didn’t used to be a poor country. Every ate and no one went hungry. They didn’t have electricity out in the rural areas, but they had plenty of water that either they got from rivers or wells or with a unique locally developed system of underground aqueducts. And they grew and raised all their own food and could pay for all their imported kerosene and diesel fuel.

Then Soviet Russia invaded and just tore up the country with land-mines and booby-trapped toys that they dropped from helicopters. They utterly destroyed the infrastructure; the Soviets created the largest refugee problem in the world with perhaps two-thirds of the population fleeing to Pakistan and Iran. The Taliban did terrible damage and still are.

So you need to consider the “geopolitics” of the particular situation.

That is the reason why so many millions of people want to come to the United States … where people can work hard and keep some of what they earn.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

$150K/yr = about $75/hr for a 40 hour week and two weeks vacation per year. That makes me want to stake out one of these guys to see how many people hand them money in an hour, out of curiosity. I am somewhat skeptical of the claim.

I haven’t read all of the posts in this thread, but just to reinforce this set of comments, John Stossel did a special segment on his Fox program about panhandlers. He even posed as one. Very interesting. And reinforced your comment.

Sometimes when I would work late, I would see the panhandlers heading home; they would stop off at a deli for supper. Or at a food stand for a snack … they looked just like any other commuter.

Or … one time, when I was dressed nice for a business meeting, I got hit up for money, which I gave them. When I went by that block a month or so later, dressed totally differently, they ignored me and I was able to “observe” them talking strategy among themselves.