What to do when non-Catholic family member takes Communion

  • Thread starter Thread starter sunny422
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

sunny422

Guest
Hi All,

I was wondering am I obligated to say something? A couple of years ago my sister married a Methodist who now says he is interested in converting to the Orthodox Church. Recently they came to visit for Christmas and I noticed him take communion while at Mass.

My father said not to say anything and that maybe he converted. I highly doubt this because when my niece was eating he said here take your “communion wafer”…and it seemed like he was mocking the Eucharist. Although I could be reading too much into it.

I feel a little uneasy about telling him he can’t take communion because I am not sure if it will push him away from the Catholic Church.

Thanks for any advice on how I am to handle this situation.
 
Perhaps you could ask him if he converted? If he answers no, then you could subtly say, “Oh, I saw you receiving Communion at Mass the other day, and since non-Catholics aren’t allowed to receive except in danger of death circumstances, then you must have converted.”

If nothing else, it would make for interesting conversation.
 
sunny422 said:
Hi All,

I was wondering am I obligated to say something? A couple of years ago my sister married a Methodist who now says he is interested in converting to the Orthodox Church. Recently they came to visit for Christmas and I noticed him take communion while at Mass.

My father said not to say anything and that maybe he converted. I highly doubt this because when my niece was eating he said here take your “communion wafer”…and it seemed like he was mocking the Eucharist. Although I could be reading too much into it.

I feel a little uneasy about telling him he can’t take communion because I am not sure if it will push him away from the Catholic Church.

Thanks for any advice on how I am to handle this situation.
Click to expand...
You do need to tell him about this. Just explain that when receiving Communion he is indeed receiving Christ and that when he reply’s “Amen” he is accepting all the teachings of the Church. He needs to understand that this is not a casual, symbolic event to be taken lightly. What he may not realize, and others as well, as we can condemn ourselves by receiving Communion unworthily. It is not just a community nicety to participate in.
 
If your sister is Catholic, this is something that she should discuss with her husband.
 
sunny422 said:
Hi All,

I was wondering am I obligated to say something? A couple of years ago my sister married a Methodist who now says he is interested in converting to the Orthodox Church. Recently they came to visit for Christmas and I noticed him take communion while at Mass.

My father said not to say anything and that maybe he converted. I highly doubt this because when my niece was eating he said here take your “communion wafer”…and it seemed like he was mocking the Eucharist. Although I could be reading too much into it.

I feel a little uneasy about telling him he can’t take communion because I am not sure if it will push him away from the Catholic Church.

Thanks for any advice on how I am to handle this situation.
Click to expand...
It’s none of your business.
 
Cricket2 said:
You do need to tell him about this. Just explain that when receiving Communion he is indeed receiving Christ and that when he reply’s “Amen” he is accepting all the teachings of the Church. He needs to understand that this is not a casual, symbolic event to be taken lightly. What he may not realize, and others as well, as we can condemn ourselves by receiving Communion unworthily. It is not just a community nicety to participate in.
Click to expand...
👍
 
If it happens again, I would casually ask him what it represents. If he gives you a correct answer, I would leave it. If not, you can casually educate him and see what happens. In this case it is best to act as a concerned friend/ teacher verses pointing your finger at him. The last thing you want to do is turn him away from the church.
 
sunny422 said:
Hi All,

I was wondering am I obligated to say something? A couple of years ago my sister married a Methodist who now says he is interested in converting to the Orthodox Church. Recently they came to visit for Christmas and I noticed him take communion while at Mass.

My father said not to say anything and that maybe he converted. I highly doubt this because when my niece was eating he said here take your “communion wafer”…and it seemed like he was mocking the Eucharist. Although I could be reading too much into it.

I feel a little uneasy about telling him he can’t take communion because I am not sure if it will push him away from the Catholic Church.

Thanks for any advice on how I am to handle this situation.
Click to expand...
This is a really interesting question. If your brother-in-law is a Methodist there are a couple of things you need to understand: 1.) Methodist teach and believe and announce at communion “This is the Lord’s table all are welcome here” to clarify who is and who is not allowed to to receive communion. 2.) The next thing you need to know was well stated by Rev Mike Fink when he was the campus pastor at UCLA, he said “That of course is a sacrament, and we can’t say much about it, because as Methodists we don’t have a sacramental theology”

So, the Catholic canonical position that only catholic’s in a state of grace may receive communion is going to be quite foreign to him. Basic religious words have very different meanings to Catholic and some one like your brother-in-law.

With regards to cannon law, the situation is quite simple, A.) he should not take communion and B.) you should say something.

The situation is even more confusing in terms of actual practice within the Catholic church. I went to two Christmas vigil masses. At one the sanctuary was full, and they had extra seating to double capacity overflowing into the parish hall. The priest actually made a joke about it. He asked who is visiting for the first time? Who is here for the first time in one year, who is here for the first time in six months. At a different parish, the priest said: " If you have not been here is a while, we are of course glad to see you, but I must remind you that you cannot take communion in a state of grave sin, this includes failing to fulfill your obligation to attend mass every Sunday and days of obligation. Taking communion in a state of grave sin, would constitute the further grave sin of sacrilege" So in one parish if you showed up you received communion, in another they were very very clear about the expectation.

options might be to talk to your priest about it, or tell your brother-in-law your understanding of Catholic teaching and ask him what he means / believes about taking the sacrament.

If something he probably meant as humor comes across to you as mocking, I think it would be a good idea to tell him. If he is thoughtful he will not want to offend you and tone down the humor.
 
How do I explain we may be condemning ourselves when we take the Eucharist unworthily? What if he doesn’t think he’s taking it unworthily?
 
I was told that if you don’t say something it is on your soul. If you do say something and they receive the Eucharist anyway then it is on their soul.

Just say it matter of factly and forget about it. It becomes their problem, between them and God, and no longer our problem.

-Tim-
 
If your bil has talked about converting, you can certainly ask him about that - how RCIA is going, what is the most different thing for him, etc. You can also ask about the difference between the Methodist’s understanding of communion and what Catholics believe. You can say that Catholic communion is restricted to Catholics in a state of grace, but you cannot police him going up for communion. Any further discussion should be between your sister, her husband, and the priest who is preparing him for confirmation.
 
epan said:
It’s none of your business.
Click to expand...
It is actually her business. As Catholics we cannot allow those who are not of the Faith to receive Holy Communion. Whether it is a complete stranger that we happen to know is not Catholic, family or friend we must stop them from receiving. We under no circumstances are to allow this if we are sure of the situation.

I have stopped people for letting their children play with the host, for allowing visiting friends and family receive when they have let it be known that they are not Catholic and for trying to place the host in their pockets to take home. (Only Pastoral Ministers are authorized to do this.) So, it is this person’s business. Reception of Holy Communion is not to be taken lightly.
 
Cricket2 said:
It is actually her business. As Catholics we cannot allow those who are not of the Faith to receive Holy Communion. Whether it is a complete stranger that we happen to know is not Catholic, family or friend we must stop them from receiving. We under no circumstances are to allow this if we are sure of the situation.

I have stopped people for letting their children play with the host, for allowing visiting friends and family receive when they have let it be known that they are not Catholic and for trying to place the host in their pockets to take home. (Only Pastoral Ministers are authorized to do this.) So, it is this person’s business. Reception of Holy Communion is not to be taken lightly.
Click to expand...
And what are you going to do if they insist? Punch them?

No, you have no authority to stop anyone. That is the priest or deacon’s job. We are to tell them not to receive and then our conscience should be clear. Tell the priest, and if they receive then it is between them, the priest and God.

Our own reception is not to be taken lightly. What others do after they have been warned and the priest informed is between themselves, the priest and God.

-Tim-
 
TimothyH said:
And what are you going to do if they insist? Punch them?

No, you have no authority to stop anyone.
Click to expand...
I don’t think such an extreme measure was Cricket’s point. And it is our duty as members of the Body of Christ to stop the abuse of the Body - by the very nature of our Baptism we have been given some authority. However, I will concede that there is truth in what you said - there is a greater authority in the ordained.

But if you saw someone stomping on the host, would you really think you have no authority to stop them? That’s analogous to saying since you’re not a police office you don’t have authority to stop a crime.
 
MorEphrem said:
I don’t think such an extreme measure was Cricket’s point. And it is our duty as members of the Body of Christ to stop the abuse of the Body - by the very nature of our Baptism we have been given some authority. However, I will concede that there is truth in what you said - there is a greater authority in the ordained.

But if you saw someone stomping on the host, would you really think you have no authority to stop them? That’s analogous to saying since you’re not a police office you don’t have authority to stop a crime.
Click to expand...
Actually as a trained Eucharistic Minister one of the things we are trained to do is to ensure that the Eucharist is properly treated and consumed. We are taught that we have the authority to take the Host from those who are being disrespectful in their handling of the Host, giving it to children who have not received first communion (like toddlers) or are seen placing it in their pockets to remove from the Church. Thus we do have that authority within this Ministry.
 
Cricket2 said:
Actually as a trained Eucharistic Minister one of the things we are trained to do is to ensure that the Eucharist is properly treated and consumed. We are taught that we have the authority to take the Host from those who are being disrespectful in their handling of the Host, giving it to children who have not received first communion (like toddlers) or are seen placing it in their pockets to remove from the Church. Thus we do have that authority within this Ministry.
Click to expand...
Yes, but to what lengths is it reasonable to go? How would you take it back if the offender refused to return it? Physically assaulting someone in church could end badly for everyone involved.
 
Thank you for all the responses…so I am pretty decided I am going to say something.

Please pray that I have the right words in explaining why he can not take the Eucharist just because I am not exactly sure why he cannot receive myself. He may actually believe the Eucharist is the Body and Blood and of Our Lord Jesus Christ (although unlikely).

Also I am not sure what it means that we might be condemning ourselves by taking the Eucharist unworthily…does this mean we are signing ourselves up to go to hell if we do? I would just like to understand what I am saying to my brother in law when I explain why non-Catholics cannot take the Eucharist.🤷
 
sunny422 said:
Thank you for all the responses…so I am pretty decided I am going to say something.

Please pray that I have the right words in explaining why he can not take the Eucharist just because I am not exactly sure why he cannot receive myself. He may actually believe the Eucharist is the Body and Blood and of Our Lord Jesus Christ (although unlikely).

Also I am not sure what it means that we might be condemning ourselves by taking the Eucharist unworthily…does this mean we are signing ourselves up to go to hell if we do? I would just like to understand what I am saying to my brother in law when I explain why non-Catholics cannot take the Eucharist.🤷
Click to expand...
It says in the back cover of our Missalette:

“Because Catholics believe that the celebration of the Eucharist is a sign of the reality of the oneness of faith, life and worship, members of those churches with whom we are not yet fully united are ordinarily not admitted to holy communion.”

DGB
 
As to condemning ourselves when receiving Communion unworthily:

When we respond “Amen” we are saying we believe in Jesus and God, and that we believe we are receiving the Body and Blood of Christ. We are also saying we believe and accept ALL the teachings of the Church. Therefore when we partake of Holy Communion we need to understand that we can’t receive or should not receive when guilty of a Mortal Sin.

If we accept the teachings of the Church we accept the consequences of Mortal Sin which is “Death.” What if your family member does not believe that Jesus is present in the Host? What if your family member is living in a way that the Church indicates is immoral (practicing birth control or being sexually active outside of marriage)? What if they are guilty of some other sin that warrants going to Confession prior to partaking of Communion?

One can argue they may not be as culpable but they are still partaking of Holy Communion without full understanding of what they are doing, and possibly without full belief. If we agree with the teachings of the Church we are agreeing to the reward of Heaven AND the possibility of eternal damnation if guilty of mortal sins? Partaking of Christ’s Body is not a casual action and should not be taken that way.
 
Cricket2 said:
As to condemning ourselves when receiving Communion unworthily:

When we respond “Amen” we are saying we believe in Jesus and God, and that we believe we are receiving the Body and Blood of Christ. We are also saying we believe and accept ALL the teachings of the Church. Therefore when we partake of Holy Communion we need to understand that we can’t receive or should not receive when guilty of a Mortal Sin.

If we accept the teachings of the Church we accept the consequences of Mortal Sin which is “Death.” What if your family member does not believe that Jesus is present in the Host? What if your family member is living in a way that the Church indicates is immoral (practicing birth control or being sexually active outside of marriage)? What if they are guilty of some other sin that warrants going to Confession prior to partaking of Communion?

One can argue they may not be as culpable but they are still partaking of Holy Communion without full understanding of what they are doing, and possibly without full belief. If we agree with the teachings of the Church we are agreeing to the reward of Heaven AND the possibility of eternal damnation if guilty of mortal sins? Partaking of Christ’s Body is not a casual action and should not be taken that way.
Click to expand...
Thank you for the answer that clarifies it a bit for me for what I can say to my brother in law.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top