What to do when religion only stresses me out

[LaughingBoy1503]

I am a scrupulous person. The last few months I have gone off the deep end and have not had any peace or freedom in my mind from my scrupulosity. Before people tell me to talk to my priest or seek help, I have already done both.

What does one do in a situation like this? Every time I pray, or go to Mass or confession, it is nothing but stress for me. I worry about making a bad confession that it will bother me all week, I worry about receiving communion unworthily. More stress. I refuse to give up though. There was a long period where I was fighting thoughts in my mind to just sin however I want for temporary relief. However, thanks be to God, those temptations have passed a few days ago, after fighting them for weeks. I am not talking about a little stress either. I mean I cannot stop thinking about if I made a bad confession or sinned for 7 or 8 hours straight, every day. It suck’s all joy from living.

All I really want to do is just go to Mass, continue to pray and just not receive communion or go to confession until I am successful in gaining a spiritual director who can maybe guide me. Anyone else ever been through a trial like this? What did you do?

 

[Confiteor_Deo]

You must speak with a regular confessor regularly and for some time to get your scrupulosity under control. For me, I think it took 6 months to a year of going to Confession every two weeks and getting help. Continue to pray for peace and offer up your suffering. You just have to keep pressing on with hope in God.

 

[Blenderx]

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I’ve been there too. I made a post a while back you might find useful: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=601468&highlight=blenderx

 

[onegirlinchrist]

Indeed, I suffered terribly from scrupulosity. To the point where I rejected Catholicism altogether and became a Christian Universalist. Ultimately, though, God guided me back to the Catholic Church. I came to see that scrupulosity was a distraction and detraction from my growth in the spiritual life. In fact, it was scrupulosity that caused Martin Luther to believe he needed to found his own church: he was that scared about his sins and created a new theology that would make him feel less scared about them. It’s really just the devil getting into you and robbing you of your peace, and trying to lure you away. It can also be a form of pride, in the sense of an over-obsession with how spotless your soul is.

Perhaps this will help…

It’s a teaching of the Church that, ultimately, only God can judge the heart. Only God knows anything with any certainty. Only God knows with clarity the status of your soul. Even you can’t know that.

I know the following sounds scary, but ultimately it’s liberating when you fully embrace it: the status of your soul (and others) is something you have to completely surrender to God. Completely. It’s one of the greatest acts of trust that you can make. Martin Luther was unwilling to trust God that much, so he invented his own theology that would give him more certainty (saved by faith, no matter what you do). Your scrupulosity is proof that you want certainty about your salvation oh-so-much. But, it’s not God’s will to reveal that to human beings.

Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden by not trusting in God and by demanding knowledge and goods that God had placed off limits. The status of your salvation is one of those goods that God has said is off limits. He wants you to trust him and let Him be God. You are not God, and therefore not privy to that sort of certainty. You just have to let it go!

Now, remember that what gets a person to Hell is mortal sin. Mortal sin isn’t merely an action, it’s a state of the heart. It’s willful rebellion. It’s contempt for God. The fact that you are worried about any of this is a sign that you are not headed anywhere near Hell right now. The people who need to be concerned are the people who don’t think Hell exists at all and don’t give two straws about where they are going.

Remember that God will judge you on the charity in your heart. Mortal sin is the absence of charity. Holiness is an abundance of charity. Charity is all about obeying the commandments not in a spirit of fear, but out of love.

Also, Jesus said “by their fruits you shall know them.” If you’re like me, scrupulosity is a prison that keeps you focused on yourself. The hours spent obsessing over sin could have been used praying for others, doing charitable work, or otherwise laboring for God’s kingdom. Recognize it for the temptation that it is. It’s meant to distract your mind, making mountains out of molehills, so that you don’t do kingdom-building work.

Start focusing more on developing virtues than combating vices. Maybe relax a bit on going to confession. Right now, you need to work on loving God and remembering that the whole point of the gospel and the commandments is to shape us into mature, healthy, reasonable, self-giving, human beings.

Remember that God is reasonable. He’s not a weirdo or a scary bureaucrat. He’s a loving father who looks on the heart and will never let a soul go to Hell who loves Him. Never. Just spend sometime with the Divine Mercy devotion and you will read many quotations from Christ where he discusses this in detail. There is liberty in doubt. If you’re not sure about this-or-that sin and suspect you’re being scrupulous, be bold and forget it and move on. God doesn’t want you trapped in a debilitating scrupulosity bubble. He is displeased by you wasting your time and intelligence. Your’e not trusting God when you behave in this way. You are wasting your talents.

The honest answer is trust. Trust, trust, trust. Fall back into the arms of God and tell Him that you trust Him to guide your soul home, and be reasonable and not make mountains out of molehills.

It is a sobering but true reality that Hell is a possibility for any one of us. But Jesus has come, God is calling us home, and God will do everything in His power to help us get there. That makes all the difference. But we do have to trust Him completely. We have to do our best–within reason, don’t be a weirdo, be healthy and sensible!!!–and then let go.

Jesus didn’t come all the way down to earth to die for you, only to lose you on a silly obsessive thought or technicality, trust me!!!

God bless you, and get feeling better!

God created everything good in the world and is loving, generous, and reasonable. Enjoy all the good things in your life and further enjoy the treasure of Catholic faith with it’s sacraments, traditions, and cultural achievements. It’s here to strengthen you, bring you peace, and deepen your joy in existence.

 

[onegirlinchrist]

Might I also recommend an excellent book: “Scruples and Sainthood: Overcoming Scrupulosity With the Help of the Saints” by Trent Beattie.

It will help you see that you are not alone in this struggle. Some of the faith’s finest have faced this battle. When you pass through it–which you will–you will be thankful for how scrupulosity has helped you to combine a deep sense of piety with a more balanced awareness of God’s mercy and the necessity of trusting completely in Him.

Also, be kind to yourself. There are very few people who take God’s commandments seriously. While you need more balance in your approach, it is commendable that you are concerned and want to do what’s right. God can see your heart and knows that you want to be obedient. It is a blessing that you are attentive to spiritual things.

 

[josh987654321]

.

I hope you don’t mind if I share the following which has helped me.

Michelangelo’s Prodigal Son Painting
http://s12.postimg.org/90aervl0d/Prodigal_Son.jpg
Jesus to Catalina:

The Passion - loveandmercy.org/Eng-TP-Reg.pdf
(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)

I want to teach sinners that because they have sinned, they should not distance themselves from Me thinking that they no longer have recourse and that they will never be loved as before they sinned. Poor souls! These are not the feelings of a God who has shed all His Blood for you. Come to Me all of you and fear not, because I love you. I will cleanse you with My Blood and you will be as white as snow. I will drown your sins in the water of My Mercy and nothing will be able to snatch from My Heart the Love that I have for you.

How to Pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy

Jesus to St Faustina -

**"Let the greatest sinners place their trust in My mercy. They have the right before others to trust in the abyss of My mercy. My daughter, write about My mercy towards tormented souls. Souls that make an appeal to My mercy delight Me. To such souls I grant even more graces than they ask. I cannot punish even the greatest sinner if he makes an appeal to My compassion, but on the contrary, I justify him in My unfathomable and inscrutable mercy. Write: before I come as a just Judge, I first open wide the door of My mercy. He who refuses to pass through the door of My mercy must pass through the door of My justice…… **(Diary, 1146).

"I never reject a contrite heart." (Diary, 1485).

Sacred Heart of Jesus - St Margaret-Mary Alacoque

http://s15.postimg.org/uc0cy5a0r/st_margaretmary2.jpg

Jesus to St Margaret-Mary Alacoque

"Behold the Heart which has so loved men that it has spared nothing, even to exhausting (Crucifixion) and consuming Itself (Last Supper, Eucharist), in order to testify Its love;
Jesus to Catalina:

The Passion - loveandmercy.org/Eng-TP-Reg.pdf
(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)

13) My children, poor sinners! Do not distance yourselves from Me. I wait for you night and day at the Tabernacle. I will not reproach you for your crimes; I will not throw your sins in your face. What I will do is to wash you with the Blood of My wounds. Do not be afraid; come to Me. You do not know how much I love you.

Please continue to next post -

 

[josh987654321]

Extract from the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska:

Diary of Saint Faustina - liturgicalyear.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/divine-mercy-in-my-soul.pdf

The Goodness of God.

1485 The mercy of God, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament, the voice of the Lord who speaks to us from the throne of mercy: Come to Me, all of you.

Jesus: Be not afraid of your Savior; O sinful soul. I make the first move to come to you, for I know that by yourself you are unable to lift yourself to me. Child, do not run away from your Father; be willing to talk openly with your God of mercy who wants to speak words of pardon and lavish his graces on you. How dear your soul is to Me! I have inscribed your name upon My hand; you are engraved as a deep wound in My Heart.

Soul: Lord, I hear your voice calling me to turn back from the path of sin, but I have neither the strength nor the courage to do so.

Jesus:** I am your strength, I will help you in the struggle.**

Soul: Lord, I recognize your holiness, and I fear You.

Jesus: My child, do you fear the God of mercy? My holiness (80) does not prevent Me from being merciful. Behold, for you I have established a throne of mercy on earth – the tabernacle – and from this throne I desire to enter into your heart. I am not surrounded by a retinue or guards. You can come to me at any moment, at any time; I want to speak to you and desire to grant you grace.

Soul: Lord, I doubt that You will pardon my numerous sins; my misery fills me with fright.

Jesus: My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire world. Who can measure the extent of my goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed myself to be nailed to the cross; for you I let my Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come, then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. Your misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy. Do not argue with Me about your wretchedness. You will give me pleasure if you hand over to me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you the treasures of My grace.

(81) Soul: You have conquered, O Lord, my stony heart with Your goodness. In trust and humility I approach the tribunal of Your mercy, where You Yourself absolve me by the hand of your representative. O Lord, I feel Your grace and Your peace filling my poor soul. I feel overwhelmed by Your mercy, O lord. You forgive me, which is more than I dared to hope for or could imagine. Your goodness surpasses all my desires. And now, filled with gratitude for so many graces, I invite You to my heart. I wandered, like a prodigal child gone astray; but you did not cease to be my Father. Increase Your mercy toward me, for You see how weak I am.

Jesus: **Child, speak no more of your misery; it is already forgotten. Listen, My child, to what I desire to tell you. Come close to My wounds and draw from the Fountain of Life whatever your heart desires. Drink copiously from the Fountain of Life and you will not weary on your journey. Look at the splendors of My Mercy and do not fear the enemies of your salvation. Glorify My mercy. **

Please continue to next post -

 

[josh987654321]

Extract from the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska:

Diary of Saint Faustina - liturgicalyear.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/divine-mercy-in-my-soul.pdf

Conversation of the Merciful God With a Despairing Soul.

1486 Jesus: O soul steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy.

– But the soul, deaf even to this appeal, wraps itself in darkness.

Jesus calls out again: My child, listen to the voice of your merciful Father.

– In the soul arises this reply: “For me there is no mercy,” and it falls into greater darkness, a despair which is a foretaste of hell and makes it unable to draw near God.

Jesus calls to the soul a third time, but the soul remains deaf and blind, hardened and despairing. Then the mercy of God begins to exert itself, and, without any co-operation from the soul, God grants it final grace. If this too is spurned, God will leave the soul in this self-chosen disposition for eternity. This grace emerges from the merciful Heart of Jesus and gives the soul a special light by means of which the soul begins to understand (83) God’s effort; but conversion depends on its own will. The soul knows that this, for her, is final grace and, should it show even a flicker of good will, the mercy of God will accomplish the rest.

My omnipotent mercy is active here. Happy the soul that takes advantage of this grace.

Jesus: What joy fills My Heart when you return to me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.

Soul (as if awaking, asks fearfully): Is it possible that there yet is mercy for me?

Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.

Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.

Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does – that after so many efforts of My (84) love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness.

Soul: O Lord, save me Yourself, for I perish. Be my Savior. O Lord, I am unable to say anything more; my pitiful heart is torn asunder; but You, O Lord……

Jesus does not let the soul finish but, raising it from the ground, from the depths of its misery, he leads it into the recesses of His Heart where all its sins disappear instantly, consumed by the flames of love.

Jesus: Here, soul, are all the treasures of My Heart. Take everything you need from it.

Soul: O Lord, I am inundated with Your grace. I sense that a new life has entered into me and, above all, I feel Your love in my heart. That is enough for me. O Lord, I will glorify the omnipotence of Your mercy for all eternity. Encouraged by Your goodness, I will confide to You all the sorrows of my heart.

Jesus:** Tell me all, My child, hide nothing from Me, because My loving Heart, the Heart of your Best Friend, is listening to you.**

Soul: O Lord, now I see all my ingratitude and Your goodness. You were pursuing me with Your grace, while I was frustrating Your benevolence. I see that I deserve (85) the depths of hell for spurning Your graces. Jesus (interrupting):** Do not be absorbed in your misery – you are still too weak to speak of it – but, rather; gaze on My Heart filled with goodness, and be imbued with My sentiments. Strive for meekness and humility; be merciful to others, as I am to you; and, when you feel your strength failing, if you come to the fountain of mercy to fortify your soul, you will not grow weary on your journey.**

Soul: Now I understand Your mercy, which protects me, and like a brilliant star, leads me into the home of my Father, protecting me from the horrors of hell that I have deserved, not once, but a thousand times. O Lord, eternity will hardly suffice for me to give due praise to Your unfathomable mercy and Your compassion for me.

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[josh987654321]

Extract from the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska:

Diary of Saint Faustina - liturgicalyear.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/divine-mercy-in-my-soul.pdf

Conversation of the Merciful God with a Suffering Soul

1487 Jesus: Poor soul, I see that you suffer much and that you do not have even the strength to converse with me. So I will speak to you. Even though your sufferings were (86) very great, do not lose heart or give in to despondency. But tell Me, my child, who has dared to wound your heart? Tell me about everything, be sincere in dealing with Me, reveal all the wounds of your heart. I will heal them, and your suffering will become a source of your sanctification.

Soul: Lord, my sufferings are so great and numerous and have lasted so long that I become discouraged.

Jesus: My child, do not be discouraged. I know your boundless trust in Me; I know you are aware of My goodness and mercy. Let us talk in detail about everything that weighs so heavily upon your heart.

Soul: There are so many different things that I do not know what to speak about first, nor how to express it.

Jesus: Talk to Me simply, as a friend to a friend. Tell Me now, My child, what hinders you from advancing in holiness?

Soul: Poor health detains me on the way to holiness. I cannot fulfill my duties. I am as useless as an extra wheel on a wagon. I cannot mortify myself or fast to any extent, as the saints did. (87) Furthermore, nobody believes I am sick, so that mental pain is added to those of the body, and I am often humiliated. Jesus, how can anyone become holy in such circumstances?

Jesus: True, my child, all that is painful. But there is no way to heaven except the way of the cross. I followed it first. You must learn that it is the shortest and surest way.

Soul: Lord, there is another obstacle on the road to holiness. Because I am faithful to You, I am persecuted and suffer much.

Jesus: It is because you are not of this world that the world hates you. First it persecuted Me. Persecution is a sign that you are following in My footsteps faithfully.

Soul: My Lord, I am also discouraged because neither my superiors nor my confessor understand my interior trials. A darkness clouds my mind. How can I advance? All this discourages me from striving for the heights of sanctity.

Jesus: Well, My child, this time you have told Me a good deal. I realize how painful it is not to be (88) understood, and especially by those whom one loves and with whom one has been very open. But suffice it to know that I understand all your troubles and misery. I am pleased by the deep faith you have, despite everything, in My representatives. Learn from this that no one will understand a soul entirely – that is beyond human ability. Therefore, I have remained on earth to comfort your aching heart and to fortify your soul, so that you will not falter on the way. You say that a dense darkness is obscuring your mind. But why, at such times, do you not come to Me, the light who can in an instant pour into your soul more understanding about holiness than can be found in any books? No confessor is capable of teaching and enlightening a soul in this way.

Know, too, that the darkness about which you complain I first endured in the Garden of Olives when My Soul was crushed in mortal anguish. I am giving you a share in those sufferings because of My special love for you and in view of the high degree of holiness I am (89) intending for you in heaven. A suffering soul is closest to My Heart.

Soul: One more thing, Lord. What should I do when I am ignored and rejected by people, especially by those on whom I had a right to count in times of greatest need?

Jesus: My child, make the resolution never to rely on people. Entrust yourself completely to My will saying, “Not as I want, but according to Your will, O God, let it be done unto me.” These words, spoken from the depths of one’s heart, can raise a soul to the summit of sanctity in a short time. In such a soul I delight. Such a soul gives Me glory. Such a soul fills heaven with the fragrance of her virtue. But understand that the strength by which you bear sufferings comes from frequent Communions. So approach this fountain of mercy often, to draw with the vessel of trust whatever you need.

Soul: Thank You, Lord, for Your goodness in remaining with us in this exile as the God of mercy (90) and blessing us with the radiance of Your compassion and goodness. It is through the light of Your mercy that I have come to understand how much You love me.

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[josh987654321]

Extract from the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska:

Diary of Saint Faustina - liturgicalyear.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/divine-mercy-in-my-soul.pdf

Conversation of the Merciful God with a Soul Striving after Perfection.

Jesus: I am pleased with your efforts, O soul aspiring for perfection, but why do I see you so often sad and depressed? Tell Me, My child, what is the meaning of this sadness, and what is its cause?

Soul: Lord, the reason for my sadness is that, in spite of my sincere resolutions, I fall again into the same faults. I make resolutions in the morning, but in the evenings I see how much I have departed from them.

Jesus: You see, My child, what you are of yourself. The cause of your falls is that you rely too much upon yourself and too little on Me. But let this not sadden you so much. You are dealing with the God of mercy, which your misery cannot exhaust. Remember, I did not allot only a certain number of pardons.

Soul: Yes, I know all that, (91) but great temptations assail me, and various doubts awaken within me and, moreover, everything irritates and discourages me.

Jesus: My child, know that the greatest obstacles to holiness are discouragement and an exaggerated anxiety. These will deprive you of the ability to practice virtue. All temptations united together ought not disturb your interior peace, not even momentarily. Sensitiveness and discouragement are the fruits of self-love. You should not become discouraged, but strive to make My love reign in place of your self-love. Have confidence, My child. Do not lose heart in coming for pardon, for I am always ready to forgive you. As often as you beg for it, you glorify My mercy.

Soul: I understand what is the better thing to do, what pleases You more, but I encounter great obstacles in acting on this understanding.

Jesus: My child, life on earth is a struggle indeed; a great struggle for My kingdom. But fear not, because you are not alone. I am always supporting you, (92) so lean on Me as you struggle, fearing nothing. Take the vessel of trust and draw from the fountain of life – for yourself, but also for other souls, especially such as are distrustful of My goodness.

Soul: O Lord, I feel my heart being filled with Your love and the rays of Your mercy and love piercing my soul. I go, Lord, at Your command. I go to conquer souls. Sustained by Your grace, I am ready to follow You, Lord, not only to Tabor, but also to Calvary. I desire to lead souls to the fount of Your mercy so that the splendor of Your mercy may be reflected in all souls, and the home of our Father be filled to overflowing. And when the enemy begins to attack me, I shall take refuge behind the shield of Your mercy.

Divine Mercy Image - St. Faustina

http://s28.postimg.org/746uzccbx/Divine_Mercy.jpg

"…when you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The torrents of grace inundate humble souls." (Diary, 1603).

I hope this has helped

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[robertmidwest]

Before people tell me to talk to my priest or seek help, I have already done both.

What does one do in a situation like this?

Ok I am confused. If you sought professional help and a priests help why are asking a bunch of strangers help on an anonymous internet forum? Do what the priest and psychologist tell you to do. I will bet money that they did NOT tell you it would be a good health thing to ask a bunch of strangers on an internet forum.

 

[z_0101]

Ok I am confused. If you sought professional help and a priests help why are asking a bunch of strangers help on an anonymous internet forum? Do what the priest and psychologist tell you to do. I will bet money that they did NOT tell you it would be a good health thing to ask a bunch of strangers on an internet forum.

and that is the trap of scrupulosity… the more severe the affliction… the more re-affirmation of self a person requires… potentially to the point of causing emotional, psychological, and I firmly believe physical injury resulting from the stress induced by the affliction if not outright self mortification or even just simply worrying so much that one forgets to take care of ones physical needs - such a eating or cleaning!

IMHO, this is OCD in almost the worse way possible! (( Scrupulosity: When OCD Targets Your Religious and Moral Values ))

LaughingBoy1503:
I think this post by Reginald Plum Reginald Plum ((AAA Docent (Ret.)))
forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=2912201&postcount=2 sums it up quite succinctly, if his links don’t help then one needs to contact Catholic Answers directly

I would insert the quoted post; however, the thread is locked and I don’t feel like pulling source code apart <<

 

[Mary_Estelle]

I can’t help you with your problem. I just want to remind you that there is a difference between “religion” and faith. Religion or religious is a word to describe your chosen practice of declaring and building your faith. Faith is another matter. It comes from within and we try to build our faith, acknowledge it, expand it, live it and love it. While our church puts a lot of emphasis on the practices, rituals and traditions, and there is good reason for it, don’t let all the rules and regulations override your faith. Outside of the of Communion at Mass you might think of the “practice of religion” as the foundation and framework from which we build. Christ never meant for us to so complicate our faith that the process became more important than faith and love.

I am not trying to undermine the Church or sound like a hieratic, but to affirm the very basics of Christ’s message which is love and to “do this in remembrance of me.” I won’t tell you to see a priest or to seek professional help. You’ve been there. Your “help is in the name of the Lord.” You know that old saying, “Keep it simple, stupid?” Christ kept it simple and we would do well to remember that.

Now, don’t everyone jump on me at once just 'cause I see things in a simple way.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

Ok I am confused. If you sought professional help and a priests help why are asking a bunch of strangers help on an anonymous internet forum? Do what the priest and psychologist tell you to do. I will bet money that they did NOT tell you it would be a good health thing to ask a bunch of strangers on an internet forum.

I want to hear from others that might have gone through the same thing. I am lonely and wanted to correspond with other people and this was the only way. How do you know my priest or a psychologist told me anything helpful? I have nobody to talk to. I suffer alone Can I talk to other Catholics in peace now?

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

I can’t help you with your problem. I just want to remind you that there is a difference between “religion” and faith. Religion or religious is a word to describe your chosen practice of declaring and building your faith. Faith is another matter. It comes from within and we try to build our faith, acknowledge it, expand it, live it and love it. While our church puts a lot of emphasis on the practices, rituals and traditions, and there is good reason for it, don’t let all the rules and regulations override your faith. Outside of the of Communion at Mass you might think of the “practice of religion” as the foundation and framework from which we build. Christ never meant for us to so complicate our faith that the process became more important than faith and love.

I am not trying to undermine the Church or sound like a hieratic, but to affirm the very basics of Christ’s message which is love and to “do this in remembrance of me.” I won’t tell you to see a priest or to seek professional help. You’ve been there. Your “help is in the name of the Lord.” You know that old saying, “Keep it simple, stupid?” Christ kept it simple and we would do well to remember that.

Now, don’t everyone jump on me at once just 'cause I see things in a simple way.

I am a protestant convert. I know what you mean. I used the word “Religion” for lack of a better term.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

and that is the trap of scrupulosity… the more severe the affliction… the more re-affirmation of self a person requires… potentially to the point of causing emotional, psychological, and I firmly believe physical injury resulting from the stress induced by the affliction if not outright self mortification or even just simply worrying so much that one forgets to take care of ones physical needs - such a eating or cleaning!

IMHO, this is OCD in almost the worse way possible! (( Scrupulosity: When OCD Targets Your Religious and Moral Values ))

LaughingBoy1503:
I think this post by Reginald Plum Reginald Plum ((AAA Docent (Ret.)))
forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=2912201&postcount=2 sums it up quite succinctly, if his links don’t help then one needs to contact Catholic Answers directly

I would insert the quoted post; however, the thread is locked and I don’t feel like pulling source code apart <<

I was diagnosed with OCD recently by a psychotherapist. However, I am having problems with my health insurance that I do not care to get into right here. Basically, if I am going to continue with professional help, it has to wait a while. That is the best I can do for right now it seems. I will check out those links. Thanks

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

Might I also recommend an excellent book: “Scruples and Sainthood: Overcoming Scrupulosity With the Help of the Saints” by Trent Beattie.

It will help you see that you are not alone in this struggle. Some of the faith’s finest have faced this battle. When you pass through it–which you will–you will be thankful for how scrupulosity has helped you to combine a deep sense of piety with a more balanced awareness of God’s mercy and the necessity of trusting completely in Him.

Also, be kind to yourself. There are very few people who take God’s commandments seriously. While you need more balance in your approach, it is commendable that you are concerned and want to do what’s right. God can see your heart and knows that you want to be obedient. It is a blessing that you are attentive to spiritual things.

I own that book. I own 4 books on scrupulosity

They help when I follow the “When in doubt, it does not count” thing. But I have not been able to bring myself to continue with that advice for a while now. I am trying.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

Divine Mercy Image - St. Faustina

http://s28.postimg.org/746uzccbx/Divine_Mercy.jpg

"…when you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The torrents of grace inundate humble souls." (Diary, 1603).

I hope this has helped

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh

Thank you, Josh. Yes, I have read all that before. It is beautiful. It would do me well to re read it often.

 

[mamlukman]

I want to hear from others that might have gone through the same thing. I am lonely and wanted to correspond with other people and this was the only way. How do you know my priest or a psychologist told me anything helpful? I have nobody to talk to. I suffer alone Can I talk to other Catholics in peace now?

What you said sounds logical to me. At least here you can listen to everyone and accept or reject whatever suits you. And from what I’ve read in the last six months or so, there are a lot of reasonable people on the site.

I don’t share your issue, and in fact I have been amazed at the number of people on this site who do share your issue. Who knew?

If anything, I tend to be the opposite–probably less scrupulous than I should be.

But here’s my 2 cents’ worth–

As I’ve said several times on other threads, what bothers me is that “scrupulous” people seem to be consumed with the trivia and minutiae, not the major issues. And this is where a lot of people jump on me and say “Wait, those little things are sins too!” Sure. Both murder and missing Mass on Sunday are mortal sins. But if you think they are morally equivalent, you’re missing the boat. If you were consumed with angst over the plight of 4 million displaced Syrian refugees, I’m with you. Me too. But if you’re consumed with angst over photocopying a one-page private letter on your office photocopier, that’s a problem.

Why not focus on the positive: what can you do today to help other people or make them happy? Open a door? Help someone carry something? Tell someone they look really good today? Let the car in the next lane go ahead of you? Make a little joke to a bored cashier? The possibilities are endless–and cost nothing.

On a larger scale, how about your job? Does your company uphold the highest of ethical standard towards it suppliers, customers, and employees? No? Can you help change that? Do you object to cheating customers or misleading them? Do you praise co-workers in public when it’s warranted? Do you pay pay suppliers/contracters on time and fairly? Can you do anything at work to make your job something you are proud of, something you would like to see on the front page of the NY Times?

On the political front, are there no issues you could embrace? Anti-abortion? Immigration? Women’s equality? Racism? Income inequality? Fairness in health care? Education? What if you picked one cause and worked at it–this could be letters to the editor, joining neighborhood groups, working for a candidate, whatever.

A long time ago I read Principles for a Catholic Morality, Timothy E. O’Connell; this is a very straight-forward analysis of various systems of analyzing morality. It shows the strengths and weaknesses of each. I personally found it very helpful, and I think most others would too. Have a look.

Finally, take a look at Francis’s latest announcement about abortion and confession to a priest. Do some research, read some articles. The more you read, the more you see it’s not clear cut. As Francis himself pointed out, the woman often has all sorts of pressures (family, economic, social, boyfriend, etc.) on her to have an abortion. Is she truly free to choose? And if she’s not truly free, can she sin? I’m suggesting this issue simply because it’s in the news now and because it involves a serious (ex-communication!) sin…and yet…it’s not that simple.

Finally, here’s an article. I firmly believe God wants us to be happy–not just in Heaven, but in this life as well. Constantly worrying about your sins doesn’t make you happy.
patheos.com/blogs/faithonthecouch/2014/07/does-god-want-you-to-be-happy-read-pope-francis-10-point-happiness-plan/

Best of luck.

 

[z_0101]

I own that book. I own 4 books on scrupulosity

They help when I follow the “When in doubt, it does not count” thing. But I have not been able to bring myself to continue with that advice for a while now. I am trying.

OCD is such a miserable affliction. The abuse it inflicts upon the person is beyond cruel.
There are support groups out there… you are never alone!
iocdf.org/supportgroups/
I pray that there is a group available in your area…
Also, keep in mind, sometimes the best help is someone simply saying… “HEY, YOU"RE OFF THE TRACK!” when done with love, it’s constructive - and even the best of us need that guidance from time to time!