What to do when the kids are in school?

[TravisandJill]

So tonight it finally hit me that next year my youngest child will begin school I love being a SAHM even though it is difficult at times but I never really though about what I would do when that time ended.

I got married very young and never went to college or anything so I couldn’t just go out a get a good job with no education. If I went back to work I would probably just have to be a waitress again…then we would have to pay for after school care for both kids and daycare in the summer time…which would hardly be worth working for minimum wage

Or I could stay home and do what? I can clean my house and cook in a few hours…but then what would I do the rest of the day.

I just feel like I have come to a point in my life where I am just not sure of the direction I should take…and I am 26!

Any more experienced mom’s have advice for this mothering newbie? What did you decide to do when your youngest went off to school?

Thanks! Jill

 

[Trishie]

Jill…Congratulations regarding your signature message!

Do you have any particular interest or talents that might guide your choices?

 

[St_Francis]

You are so fortunate to be in a position where you don’t “have” to work!

What women used to do when I was a child was to do volunteer work. Consider the gifts that God has given you, and how they could be best used to help others, then look into what sort of things there are to do. For example, you could probably help young mothers.

Ask at your parish what sorts of needs there are in your community. Maybe there is a need that isn’t being filled!

Also, consider becoming a CCD teacher. Most parishes really need them, and it would challenge you to grow in your Faith and in your knowledge.

Or your children’s school might have a parent volunteer program.

Other things are volunteering at your local hospital or clinic, reading or doing some sort of work with elderly or sick people, helping poor people,…

Whatever you end up doing, remember that it comes second to your family life. First discuss it with your husband, then remember not to let it take over!!! Set limits from the beginning.

And it may be that you will have to do some of the more boring aspects before they let you in on “the good stuff.”

HTH

 

[thomfra]

So tonight it finally hit me that next year my youngest child will begin school I love being a SAHM even though it is difficult at times but I never really though about what I would do when that time ended.

I got married very young and never went to college or anything so I couldn’t just go out a get a good job with no education. If I went back to work I would probably just have to be a waitress again…then we would have to pay for after school care for both kids and daycare in the summer time…which would hardly be worth working for minimum wage

Or I could stay home and do what? I can clean my house and cook in a few hours…but then what would I do the rest of the day.

I just feel like I have come to a point in my life where I am just not sure of the direction I should take…and I am 26!

Any more experienced mom’s have advice for this mothering newbie? What did you decide to do when your youngest went off to school?

Thanks! Jill

If you are only 26 then the world is your oyster! I would recommend getting som kind of education, or learning a trade. 26 is too young to be trying to “think up ways to fill the day”. That’s for retired people. You need to get out there and make your way in life!

If you hate studying, and want to learn a trade of some sort which you think might be interesting. that way your will be paid while you learn!

Your life is an open book! Enjoy. Have a talk to a careers counciler (if you can find one). They can give you some tips.

I think you are in a great position here!

 

[Litcrit]

You are in a wonderful situation!

Financially, apparently you don’t HAVE to work, which means there’s no pressure on you to earn money.

That means you shouldn’t ask US what you *should *do, but rather ask yourself what you *want *to do.

At 26, your life is just beginning. I’m also 26, so I may be partial , but my career is just beginning and I’m actually still a student!

Or you may not even want to get a paid job - you can read all you’ve ever wanted, you can devote more time to prayer and/or volunteer work, you can learn to play an instrument - as Thom said, the world’s your oyster

Or, if you find none of this more appealing than being a full-time SAHM to your children, why not have another kid?

I’m half kidding, I don’t know your situation and you sound like you’re done, but you also sound like this is the thing you love doing the most, so you might just consider continuing?

 

[dkoinzan]

I second having another baby. It sounds like you enjoy being a SAHM.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

So tonight it finally hit me that next year my youngest child will begin school I love being a SAHM even though it is difficult at times but I never really though about what I would do when that time ended.

I got married very young and never went to college or anything so I couldn’t just go out a get a good job with no education. However, you could start on that education. I have a friend who went back to college at 45! I didn’t finish my BA until 15 years after I started it. Texas has wonderful community (junior) colleges. Use them! If you don’t want a full-blown degeee, you can always use the vocational- technical aspect of the junior colleges to learn culinary arts, technology, auto technology, all sorts of stuff. If I went back to work I would probably just have to be a waitress again…You could work just the breakfast of lunch shift, part time. then we would have to pay for after school care for both kids and daycare in the summer time…which would hardly be worth working for minimum wage If you worked only the breakfast and or lunch shift, you would not have to pay for child care. You would have tips, too, not just your server wages. And good servers are hard to find.

Or I could stay home and do what? I can clean my house and cook in a few hours…but then what would I do the rest of the day. You could work part time at your children’s school. A lot of people do. You could volunteer at your children’s school. They need people to do everything from help check out library books to put up displays to supervise on the playground. You could volunteer in your parish. You could go to daily Mass, and once you are officially Catholic, you could become a daily communicant. You could volunteer to work with disaster preparedness, or the Red Cross. You could find a part time job as a sales associate someplace, such as Penney’s, Target, Walmart, while the children are in school, part time, only during school hours. Lots of people apply for it and are needed. You could open your own daycare situation for kids, after checking to make sure you can comply with your state laws.

You could open your own company that offers a service, and work it only during the hours your children are in school. Right now, I am working on a company that does stuff for people who are too busy to get stuff done, esp. women who work full time. I go to the cleaners to drop off and pick up their clothes, take their cars to get the oil changed, set up their computer and TV equipment (I am a qualified tech, but there is nothing magical about that), plan parties, do virtual office work, go check on their elderly parents. They pay me for my services, and are grateful to boot. I do not work while my children are off school.

I just feel like I have come to a point in my life where I am just not sure of the direction I should take…and I am 26!

Any more experienced mom’s have advice for this mothering newbie? What did you decide to do when your youngest went off to school?

Thanks! Jill

 

[Joannm]

I went back to work part time when my youngest started school. I was able to drop them off at school and pick them up. As they got older I added more hours to my schedule and by the time the youngest was in HS I was working full time and was still able to attend all her games and other activities. I also went back to school during that time for graduate degrees going to class one night a week while hubby stayed with the kids.

 

[puzzleannie]

volunteer at school or parish is the obvious answer. this is also a great time if you want to go back to school yourself, before your older kids get too involved in after-school activities. Check out your local community college, state school, or Catholic woman’s college, any or all may have programs and scholarships especially for women in your situation.

 

[happymommy]

I second having another baby. It sounds like you enjoy being a SAHM.

That’s what I thought too

 

[thomfra]

OutinChgoburbs: That sounds like a pretty good company! It’s not a new idea - but I can certainly see where there is a market. I guess it’s like a buy by the hour PA.

How does it work. I.e. do they pay you per activity, by the hour, or do they subscribe to you and your services…?

 

[Eucharisted]

You can visit Jesus in the Tabernacle, either physically going to Him or being with Him in spirit.

You can read the Bible or other spiritual books.

You can make things for the family, like rosaries or clothes.

You can make art (anyone can draw, just takes practice and patience)

 

[Em_in_FL]

If you don’t HAVE to work financially, and you’re home, consider more children (your own or adoption if that’s not possible)…
Volunteer…
Go back to school yourself - maybe preschool teacher - then you still have summers off with the kids…

Sad to say… I’m jealous. Working is hard. I’d LOVE to have that opportunity of freedom to do whatever!

 

[Eucharisted]

If you don’t HAVE to work financially, and you’re home, consider more children (your own or adoption if that’s not possible)…
Volunteer…
Go back to school yourself - maybe preschool teacher - then you still have summers off with the kids…

Sad to say… I’m jealous. Working is hard. I’d LOVE to have that opportunity of freedom to do whatever!

True freedom is in Jesus Christ. Offer up your work, because Jesus worked for thirty years on earth to show us the sanctity of work. And remember the parable of the prodigal son

 

[leonie]

volunteer at school or parish is the obvious answer. this is also a great time if you want to go back to school yourself, before your older kids get too involved in after-school activities. Check out your local community college, state school, or Catholic woman’s college, any or all may have programs and scholarships especially for women in your situation.

Definitely!!!

But, I also vote for another baby.

I don’t plan to ever work again. If I have to, I will, of course. Or, if I feel that God is calling me to. I had a pretty hard time adjusting to SAHM when I first had kids and I’d like to minister to young moms if I ever get some free time. But, at 39, with another baby on the way–that day may never come!

As for me, I could stare into space for a half a day.

 

[basilisk]

Volunteer at the school or through your parish.

I know we all are pro-life here, and promoting church teaching of openness to life, but… the suggestions of another baby could be causing Jill great pain or offense.

Look at the bottom of her post… she is a convert entering the Church this coming spring. What if she has had a tubal and cannot have more children? If she regrets that and cannot afford a reversal, you could be hurting her badly. If she did it thinking there was nothing wrong with it at the time, and is fine with accepting her status and moving on as is into her new life, then you are probably irritating her with what, frankly, is an extremely presumptuous suggestion. How do you know she hasn’t lost her uterus through illness? How do you know she doesn’t have a health issue that makes further childbearing dangerous?

Honestly… how many children this couple has and why they don’t have more is NONE of any of our business. And suggesting more kids is NOT our place.

 

[leonie]

Volunteer at the school or through your parish.

I know we all are pro-life here, and promoting church teaching of openness to life, but… the suggestions of another baby could be causing Jill great pain or offense.

Look at the bottom of her post… she is a convert entering the Church this coming spring. What if she has had a tubal and cannot have more children? If she regrets that and cannot afford a reversal, you could be hurting her badly. If she did it thinking there was nothing wrong with it at the time, and is fine with accepting her status and moving on as is into her new life, then you are probably irritating her with what, frankly, is an extremely presumptuous suggestion. How do you know she hasn’t lost her uterus through illness? How do you know she doesn’t have a health issue that makes further childbearing dangerous?

Honestly… how many children this couple has and why they don’t have more is NONE of any of our business. And suggesting more kids is NOT our place.

I don’t agree. There’s a lot of young moms who are surrounded by others that think that a small family is preferable. If Jill is surrounded by Protestants, then it is even more likely that she hasn’t been exposed to the joys of large families. I am always so sad when I go to garage sales and very young moms have all their baby and maternity stuff out. It’s very common.

I read a story by a Catholic mom of 13 in which someone asked her if she and her husband had discerned if they had all the children God wanted them to have. At that point, they had four so kids. She and her husband were surprised. They hadn’t really thought about it. They prayed about it and ended up adopting/having many more…

I met a Protestant minister once. He was in his mid-20’s. He said he and his wife were “done.” I was so surprised. Even, this man who had dedicated his life to God had not taken this area (family size) to God. It just doesn’t occur to many people. There are plenty of young couples who are tired and broke who decide they are done and then in a couple years when life gets easier, don’t realize that their decision to be done could be one just to wait.

I think it’s okay to gently ask people if they have discerned this. God works through our words, too.

 

[dkoinzan]

I agree leonie. Even struggling through the death of two preborn children I felt thankful for those who suggested we may want to try one more time. Thank God they did. It gave me courage when I became pregnant with this child. She asked what we do with our time when the youngest is in school. My youngest turned six and is in kindergarten. I am having another baby!

 

[MomaMary8]

I don’t agree. There’s a lot of young moms who are surrounded by others that think that a small family is preferable. If Jill is surrounded by Protestants, then it is even more likely that she hasn’t been exposed to the joys of large families. I am always so sad when I go to garage sales and very young moms have all their baby and maternity stuff out. It’s very common.

I read a story by a Catholic mom of 13 in which someone asked her if she and her husband had discerned if they had all the children God wanted them to have. At that point, they had four so kids. She and her husband were surprised. They hadn’t really thought about it. They prayed about it and ended up adopting/having many more…

I met a Protestant minister once. He was in his mid-20’s. He said he and his wife were “done.” I was so surprised. Even, this man who had dedicated his life to God had not taken this area (family size) to God. It just doesn’t occur to many people. There are plenty of young couples who are tired and broke who decide they are done and then in a couple years when life gets easier, don’t realize that their decision to be done could be one just to wait.

I think it’s okay to gently ask people if they have discerned this. God works through our words, too.

I hate when people say they are “done” having children. They’re not a turkey, for heaven’s sake! A couple may not be able to conceive another child, but that doesn’t mean God is “done” with them!

How about

Mentoring a child
Becoming a foster parent
Volunteering at a children’s hospital
volunteering at a woman’s shelter
Adopting a child

When the day comes that all my children are in school, I hope I will finally have time to take care of the things that are getting missed. There are not enough hours in the day to get everything done! A few things on my wish list: more time at the adoration chapel, more time volunteering at my children’s school, sewing blankets for the children’s hospital, a clean house, etc. I better stop now before my list gets too long. I have found that as my kids get older and busier in the thier activities, my time at home becomes more important. I use the few hours available in the day time to prep for the evenings when kids, sports, church activities and homework all seem to happen at once. My prep time during the day helps keep my kids evenings less rushed and helps to ensure a sit down dinner for our family.

Don’t be in such a rush to leave your SAHM position. Embrace it as part of your vocation and ask God what to do with any spare time you may have.

 

[TravisandJill]

Thank you everyone for the replies! They were helpful!
I do have some interests…I would like to learn to sew and knit and play the piano Now I gotta find someone to teach me all those things!
I do like to vegetable garden and I try to volunteer at my daughters school once a month because thats all they need volunteers for.

I am interested in volunteering for a catholic charity…hmm trying to think of something in my area

I dont think God is calling me to go to college right now, or at all even.

Yes we had talked about having another child, but I am really dragging my feet because I get very sick while pregnant and I feel so bad because I really neglect my family during that time. I pretty much just stay in bed the whole 9 months because every time I get up I throw up! Its not the throwing up that bothers me, its the constant overpowering nausea I feel all day and night! I feel so motion sick! I would feel very guilty with putting my family through that again. And my poor kids would really suffer because I wouldn’t be able to play with them My dh would work full time then have to come home and take care of the children and cook and clean because I couldn’t. It would be unfair to do that to him again.

If I didnt get sick I would have more kids no problem…I do love my children and would definetly be open to more if the Lord chooses though. But he would have to carry me through the pregnancy thats for sure

Jill