What to do when the kids are in school?

[TravisandJill]

I hate when people say they are “done” having children. They’re not a turkey, for heaven’s sake! A couple may not be able to conceive another child, but that doesn’t mean God is “done” with them!

How about

Mentoring a child
Becoming a foster parent
Volunteering at a children’s hospital
volunteering at a woman’s shelter
Adopting a child

When the day comes that all my children are in school, I hope I will finally have time to take care of the things that are getting missed. There are not enough hours in the day to get everything done! A few things on my wish list: more time at the adoration chapel, more time volunteering at my children’s school, sewing blankets for the children’s hospital, a clean house, etc. I better stop now before my list gets too long. I have found that as my kids get older and busier in the thier activities, my time at home becomes more important. I use the few hours available in the day time to prep for the evenings when kids, sports, church activities and homework all seem to happen at once. My prep time during the day helps keep my kids evenings less rushed and helps to ensure a sit down dinner for our family.

Don’t be in such a rush to leave your SAHM position. Embrace it as part of your vocation and ask God what to do with any spare time you may have.

Thank you for this post! I find it so hard to be a stay at home mom these days because everyone is concerned about getting richer and they think SAHM’s are bums who do nothing all day. Even my mom did not support me when I decided to stay home with my kids. She told me it would be better for me to work full time rather than raise my kids. So I really do not have a support system except my wonderful hubby. And the society we live in really does look down on larger families-it is so sad.

I feel as though I am surrounded by other people who really dont understand what I am going through, my own mom doesnt even understand me LOL Oh she thinks we should only have 2 children too. Like I will be sure to consult with her before making any more big decisions in my life…

It really is frustrating

 

[puzzleannie]

do bear in mind that God has a way of answering this type of question for us, and may very well have the answer for you before the school year begins.

 

[mmt4]

I have not read all of the way through the thread, but my suggestion would be to ask your kids’ teachers at the beginning of the year how you can help them.

Sometimes teachers get overwhelmed and forget to ask for help, so you could even offer to help them set up a volunteer information form for the parents to fill out.

As your kids get older, teachers may need and want less help and parental involvement, but those Kindergarten teachers are overwhelmed sometimes!

Don’t forget the school librarian, who might need someone to reshelve books or shelf-read.

Other ways to fill your time could be volunteering at a thrift store (a bonus is you often get to see the new inventory first), volunteering through your parish, finding a book club, hobbies, etc…

If you like kids a lot and your school does not have enough to keep you busy, see if any of the other local schools do. Some schools have more parents than they need helping and others desperately need help with things like reading groups, AR testing, etc…

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Thank you everyone for the replies! They were helpful!
I do have some interests…I would like to learn to sew and knit and play the piano Now I gotta find someone to teach me all those things! Check at the community college. They often have classes “just for fun” for adults.If you have a community center, or a park district, they also offer these.
I do like to vegetable garden and I try to volunteer at my daughters school once a month because thats all they need volunteers for.

I am interested in volunteering for a catholic charity…hmm trying to think of something in my area Unless SeekerJen already said it, the St. Vincent DePaul Society needs you!
Jill

 

[MomaMary8]

Yes we had talked about having another child, but I am really dragging my feet because I get very sick while pregnant and I feel so bad because I really neglect my family during that time. I pretty much just stay in bed the whole 9 months because every time I get up I throw up! Its not the throwing up that bothers me, its the constant overpowering nausea I feel all day and night! I feel so motion sick! I would feel very guilty with putting my family through that again. And my poor kids would really suffer because I wouldn’t be able to play with them My dh would work full time then have to come home and take care of the children and cook and clean because I couldn’t. It would be unfair to do that to him again.

If I didnt get sick I would have more kids no problem…I do love my children and would definetly be open to more if the Lord chooses though. But he would have to carry me through the pregnancy thats for sure

Jill

Ahh yes, that age old dilema! I know it well! lol

I remember vividly the discussion I had with my DH about how to handle what I knew would be a difficult pg. I laid out fully the help that I would need with my duties when I was pg. He also made sure I was ready for the sacrafice needed to carry another little one for 9 months. I told him what I will tell you. Nine months of sickness, pain, sleeplessnes, difficulty walking (at times I had to see a PT), etc was well worth the gift of a life that would hopefully last ninty + years! He also knew he had to take on added duties and NOT complain. I explained to him the guilt and worthlessness I feel when I am not able to do the things I normally do. My DH also talked to the kids and they were fully on board with the idea of helping me. It was their gift to the new baby. It was a family effort to bring new life into the world. We all were part of God’s plan.

I am not going to diminish your suffering during pg. You are the only one that really knows how bad it gets. For MANY women, it is horrible. I just would like to say not to discount your family in their ability and willingness to help in the creation of a new life. The burden should not be just yours, and you should never feel guilty for bringing a new baby into the world.

I understand how you can feel that way, especially with family that doesn’t think you should have anymore. My mother’s attitude was much like your mother’s. Her attitude made me feel guilty, as if I was slighting my existing children. How wrong that was! The best thing I could have done for any of them was to have their younger siblings, showing them how precious each and every child is, and how any sacrafice we can make is worthy for a new child.

And remember, there are many ways we can welcome life in this world.

 

[Catholic90]

Hmmmm,sounds familiar. I was in your position a few years ago. I volunteered at my kids’ school, first in the classroom, then in the library. Then a position opened up in the school, and I was asked to apply. I did, and I have now been working there for many years.

I absolutely love it! My kids no longer go to school there, but I still work there. It has worked very well.

 

[mmt4]

I need to add to my last post. I started volunteering at school out of sympathy for the teachers, not in the least part to be around kids.

I was never a kid person. I love my kids, considering adding more to our family even at my “advanced age” of 38, but previously was not really interested in working with kids, having a slew of the neighbor kids at my house playing, etc…

This year, my 3rd child, full of spit and vigor, entered Kindergarten. To this point, my help in the classroom was more than offset by his activity level, so I had not yet had that experience. I offered to help out his teacher one morning a week stuffing the weekly folders. It takes anywhere from 20-45min, depending on how much there is and how well my 16 month old is behaving. I sometimes come in to help with other things.

I simply adore those little kids. They are so sweet. The other day, they were lining up to leave the room and they started hugging each other. One little girl said “group hug” and about 4-5 of them all bunched together and hugged each other. I just adore that age.

My kids have led me to places in my life and heart I never would have gone on my own. I have thought a lot about working in education now.

I guess the point is to leave yourself open to all sorts of different things you might not have considered when you are looking to fill your time.

 

[arlice1]

When I look back on what I could do when my daughter went to school, it brings back memories of having no spending money so I took over some of the neighborhood toddlers that had working moms and babysat for a couple of years. I had hairdressing as my career but stayed home in my daughters early years and babysat during her first years of school. Later when I was with emptynest syndrome I found an adult school that was free but for the books. It was close and I took everything starting with computers, English, Accounting, Medical and Legal courses they had to offer. I liked it. I should have never stopped my education. Do try at least one at a time and if it is feasible, climb that ladder of education. Leave the volunteering to me who is too old to be hired for what I know. Pray for guidance and make a plan!