What to do when your father says our faith has changed you?

[nadiaperez1]

Hello. Hope I can get some advice. Some time ago I posted something on the public media about the case of a divorced woman who wanted to receive communion.

My public comment was about how we can’t change the laws in Gods faith and Church even if we wanted or something along those lines. Moments later my cousin responded that I was attacking his parents who were dealing with marriage annulment for one of them and to get married in the church so they could receive all the graces in the faith. Anyways, situation got crazy on him insisting I was accusing his parents, whom I never mentioned, to the point that we don’t talk to each other anymore.

Today, my father and I comment about this incident and said to me that learning about our faith has changed me and is causing issues with all the family. Which I don’t think it’s true. Since He doesn’t attend church, I said to him that I didn’t share this situation with him because of that fact, he doesn’t attend Church and knows less than I know about canonic law.

Am I supposed to stop learning about my faith if it gets me in “issues” with others?

Advice please.
Thanks

 

[Allegra]

Becoming strong in one’s faith SHOULD change you. However, I do think it is advisable to avoid making religious statements on social media unless you are doing so in a forum designed for discussing religious topics. I think you should speak to your cousin in person or on the phone and explain what you were trying to say and that you weren’t speaking about his parents specifically. That’s the benefit of knowing someone in real life. You can understand so much more about what a person is saying from a face to face conversation. If you don’t have the kind of relationship with someone where you would bring up a religious conversation in person, I don’t see why it’s a good idea to bring one up on social media.

 

[nadiaperez1]

Thanks. The issue happened more than a year ago. I tried my best to tell my cousin I wasn’t even mentioning his parents but I guess he didn’t wanted to see it. I was telling him I was talking about an special case I heard about. Iam sure we will deal with it at some point but since we live in different states it’s not as big of an issue as with my father, the person I live with under the same roof.

Thanks

 

[AKDee]

I think a person should be quick to judge themselves and less quick (and generally not vocal) about judging other people. It may be that your comments about things you are learning are being interpreted (right or wrong) by other people as a judgement on them. I have had the same problem and have started being very careful about how I word things. I still want to share my beliefs, but don’t want people thinking something I bring up is about them because when people feel judged it typically makes them dig in their heels and less likely to believe.

Perhaps when you share things, you could share how that particular belief affects you. That way the only person you’re bringing into it is yourself, and perhaps other people will be less likely to misinterpret or feel offended and more likely to think on what you’ve shared.

 

[St_Francis]

Maybe your expressions and knowledge of the Faith are making your father feel uncomfortable. This does not mean you are doing something wrong.

 

[Regina7]

If you are truly following God’s laws, then you will make people uncomfortable and upset-Jesus promised this. So you should really only worry when nobody is upset with you

 

[Kal2012]

Yeah - your faith is supposed to change you.

I make the same argument all the time (you are supposed to change for the church, the church doesn’t change for you) because, as a convert, it’s true.

I had to change my opinions and get over my issues - with the Eucharist, Mary, the Saints, before I got serious about becoming a Catholic. I was sincerely upset that as a Protestant I couldn’t share Holy Communion at a Catholic church. It took a really long time to realize why the church does what she does and I’m so grateful that I’m able to partake in the Eucharist these days.

Our faith will always cause “issues” with others, if you are serious about practicing your faith.

It’s one thing to say that you are a Catholic and act like the rest of the world.

It’s another to say that you are Catholic and actually obey church teaching.

Stay strong - we’ve all had to deal with this kind of stuff in one form or another.

 

[His_helpmeet]

My husband had to to go through the nullity process. We did not receive Holy Communion while waiting for his first marriage to be declared invalid. (We were civilly married and have since been sacramentally married, after the nullity process was complete.) I do believe there may be a way to streamline the process, but I would NEVER suggest that we should allow those in a state of mortal sin to receive Holy Communion, nor I would I take such a statement as a personal affront.

I think your cousin may have just been overly sensitive to the issue, depending of course on the context of your statement.