What to do when your mom WON'T go to church?

  • Thread starter Thread starter MamaZona
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marietta said:
MamaZona:

Your mother has as much power as you give her. Step up. Protect and defend.

She may have burnout from her job in social services. “When we bury feellings, we bury them alive.” This stuff may be coming out sideways on you and your kids. She is abusive to your family, she is guilty of elder abuse. If this were my mother, I would have zero respect for her lending her womb to me for nine months. She doesn’t act like a mother, she acts like a mentally unbalanced person who digs the power of drama and continues to beat you up with it. Enough is more than enough.

Like they said, nothing changes if nothing changes. Forget what your mother’s problems are - you can’t solve them. The only ones you can solve are your own problems. Break the situation down into manageable pieces and have at it. Remember: there’s always a perfectly good excuse not to do something that we really don’t want to do. The first change that needs to take place is in you and in your attitude. The circumstances suck. Move on. Draw up a restraining order, keep your kids a safe distance away. Love doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice everything so she can get her kicks abusing you.

marietta
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Um, I have stepped up, thank you. I got the authorities involved when I thought it prudent, I’ve taken the contact down to the bare minimum with no form of “alone time”. If she acts like a loon, my husband removes her from the house and she doesn’t talk to anyone again until she behaves. I’m just sorting out my feelings about her open comments on Mass and the role of religion at the moment. I know she won’t have private conversations, but I’m debating confrontation on the point of even speaking about Catholicism and Mass in my/the children’s presence. Also, trying to get over the doubt it weedles into my own head.

She wasn’t “burnt out” from social services. Her siblings tell me she has been this way from childhood. Sadly, social services hired her in that state–which I think says volumes about the agency.

I never said she had “power” just that I love my parents and want to remain in contact in the least damaging way possible.

I’m certainly running my own life and in terms of taking garbage off my parents–that is a “pick your battles” moment.

I’m not sure I appreciate your tone, but perhaps I’m just being overly sensitive.
 
Oh my MIL and FIL soon to be, are the same way!! They are Catholic and are like “you don’t have to go to church every week you know?!” My fiance was brought up that way so we kind of conflict about it sometimes, not often, just once in a great while, but he respects me and enjoys our time in church together as a family so he doesn’t argue, he respects my devotion and participates as well!! 😃

So just continue doing what you need to do, pray for her and may GOD bless you all!! 😃
 
marietta said:
MamaZona:

Did you come here with a problem?

marietta
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marietta,

I restated the issue to make things a little clearer:

“I’m just sorting out my feelings about her open comments on Mass and the role of religion at the moment. I know she won’t have private conversations, but I’m debating confrontation on the point of even speaking about Catholicism and Mass in my/the children’s presence. Also, trying to get over the doubt it weedles into my own head.”

Of course, this is obviously not the sole issue in the relationship, but it is the one on my mind at the moment. I wasn’t asking whether or not I should burn my bridges–so to speak.

Yes, I came here with an issue. I did not, however, come here for a fight.

Seeing where this is going, you are now on my ignore list. Sorry. Obviously, I’ve got your dander up and you’re obviously getting mine as well. No reason to go further.
 
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