What to do with a refund that I didn't fully deserve?

[GiannaMary]

Greetings, everyone. I recently paid for a ticket to an event, but I missed it, due to my own carelessness (I assumed it was on a certain date and never bothered checking with others or looking out for notices). Various unfortunate events also contributed, including not being on an email list, and the absence of a few important people being absent the day before the event who might have corrected me. I had only been working with these people for a short time.

I was disgusted at losing so much money (a substantial sum to me) on a missed event and wanted to get as much of a refund as possible. One person who fell ill shortly before the even couldn’t get any refund, so I knew a refund was unlikely.

A friend rang the organisers and told them of the situation. However, he added that I had got not just the time, but the place mixed up. This last detail was not the case - I believe it was an honest mistake on behalf of my friend. Although the middlemen/organisers had already paid the hosts - and would therefore be losing money - they agreed to refund the full sum to me and I shortly received it.

Once I discovered that an incorrect detail had at least helped to obtain the refund, I began to realise much more clearly that, to a great extent, it was my own carelessness that had caused me to miss the event. I chickened out of overtly telling the organisers that a mistake had been made in the description of what went wrong. Now I have the money, but I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t believe I deserve it, at least not the full sum. Plus, with the economy being the way it is here, I feel like I’ve cheated the organisers.

Should I secretly give the money back to them? Should I give it to charity? What advice can you give me?

With contrition and hope,
GiannaMary.

P.S. Please forgive me for the long post.

 

[bmullins]

If it were me and I was feeling convicted by my conscience, then I would do what my conscience told me. If I had questions as to what to do with it, I’d go to a priest in confession and tell him the situation, and allow Jesus to speak to me on how to go about it.

My gut instinct would be to simply take the money back to the people that I felt rightly deserved it, and give it to them. I’d explain I didn’t deserve the refund, and that as a Catholic I could not rightly take it. (No need to go into all the details, just as much as you feel you need to.)

*Keep in mind that I once drove 6 miles to return an ink pen that I accidentally stuck in my pocket after borrowing it.

 

[jmcrae]

Should I secretly give the money back to them? Should I give it to charity? What advice can you give me?

How about giving it to the person who got sick and was unable to attend? Just a thought - use your own judgement, of course!

 

[teachccd]

I really think that the organizers decided to give you the refund because they found you worthy of it. Whether is was a mistake in the time OR the place, it still shows a lack of preparation on your part. They felt that it was adequate and gave you the refund. If you feel that you do not deserve the refund then give it back and call it good. Your guilt is not worth the price of a ticket; even an expensive one at that…teachccd

 

[GiannaMary]

bmullins, jmcrae, teachccd: Thank you all very much for your respective replies and advice - I am most grateful. I will go with my conscience on this one and obtain some final advice in my next Confession. Thank you!

Also, jmcrae, although I think that due to some other circumstances it would be better to do something else with the refund, you’ve given me an idea to do a charitable deed for him in another way. Thank you for that!

May God bless you all, this New Year’s Eve and always. +

 

[puzzleannie]

you already have the refund and calling the organization to discuss it further is going to cost them time and money, and not really going to help anyone or be worth their while. If it bothers your conscience, give the difference to charity.

 

[Matrix_Refugee]

you already have the refund and calling the organization to discuss it further is going to cost them time and money, and not really going to help anyone or be worth their while. If it bothers your conscience, give the difference to charity.

Great Minds Think Alike: I was about to suggest that meself, either give the difference or the whole thing to charity, whichever seems more feasible.

 

[x1980x]

This may not be a terribly Catholic opinion, but when I’ve considered what to do when I have been arguably enriched by a mistake, I consider the cost to the “victim”. Several times, I’ve been charged less than I should have at a fast food restaurant or diner. When I point this out to the clerk, they shrug it off and tell me to enjoy my discount. The truth seems to be that it would cost the restaurant money (time, bankcard processing fees) to fix the transaction. If I was charged 5.25 for the #2 meal when I actually ordered (and received) the #3 meal that is supposed to cost 5.40, and pay with a bankcard, then the restaurant is (willingly) paying something like .25 to process each transaction. To properly “fix” a .15 discrepancy to the point where the accounting books end up perfect, they would have to have a clerk spend time (time not serving other customers) to back out the transaction (possibly paying a fee to do so), and then process another payment. All that probably adds up to more than the .15 loss, so by just going on my merry way, I’m actually saving them money in the long run.

 

[TrueLight]

*Keep in mind that I once drove 6 miles to return an ink pen that I accidentally stuck in my pocket after borrowing it.

 

[Hokomai]

I hate getting money I do not deserve. It niggles away at me. I once found $40 in the street and still wonder if I could have done something to find the owner. Once I pointed out to a supermarket that they had undercharged me and the manager was called to marvel at me - he said no one had ever done this before. I admire religious people for their honesty: in my town a very poor refugee found a wallet lost by a tourist and packed with money. He turned it into the police. They congratulated him but he said that as a Muslim it is what he had to do, and he deserved no praise for it. A small incident, but it is something I remember when bad things about Muslims come up.

 

[jmcrae]

I hate getting money I do not deserve. It niggles away at me. I once found $40 in the street and still wonder if I could have done something to find the owner. Once I pointed out to a supermarket that they had undercharged me and the manager was called to marvel at me - he said no one had ever done this before. I admire religious people for their honesty: in my town a very poor refugee found a wallet lost by a tourist and packed with money. He turned it into the police. They congratulated him but he said that as a Muslim it is what he had to do, and he deserved no praise for it. A small incident, but it is something I remember when bad things about Muslims come up.

Actually the Muslim is right - we don’t deserve praise for doing what any right-thinking person would do. It’s sad that doing the right thing is so unusual, these days.