What to do?

[bekalc]

Yes. I’m a girl. I thought that would have been pretty clear. Which, I think is just a little bit of my frustration. I did’nt go to seminary to become a pastor, I wanted to be a missionary. I either wanted to work with orphans, or help plant churches/train pastors in China or in Muslim countries. Being Catholic, certainly isn’t changing my calling to missions. I went to seminary because i figured I needed to have a firm theological grounding to do these type of things, don’t you think?

I will admit that it is hard for me coming from an environment where most of my friends are married, ministers with kids. And, then coming into an environment where not only are women not allowed to be ministers, but married men cannot be ministers too. It’s a tough thing, just a bit. In my environment, a lot of these couples view themselves as “teams.”

This was one of the stumbling blocks that really kept me from seriously considering the Catholic Church for a long time. It wasn’t just that I couldn’t be a minster, but I couldn’t even marry a minister. My mom keeps on freaking out saying, Rebecca its going to be pointing all kinds of limits on you…

But once I realized a lot of these divisions in Christianity, well they all stem from authority, its made me realize I frankly don’t want to add to it. And, when you really study theology especially Protestant theology, you realize how relativistic it truly is. I figure I can live with the Church’s decision on these things because they have the right to make these rules. And maybe they are right about female ministers not being God’s plan. Although I do understand the justification given at my seminary which is pretty conservative.

But your right, the priest doesn’t really know what to do with me, I don’t think.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against celibacy. It is a gift in Scripture; what I am kind of saying is that I think its hard for Protestants to grasp. Although I realize now that Catholics expect more from their priests, a part of me would perhaps counter that perhaps so much shouldn’t be expected.

 

[bekalc]

I do want to say this that when I decided to become Catholic, I decided to live by the rules. I’m not going to be joining some WE are the Church etc… Since it seems like the pope made it dogma that woman can’t be priests, I would never campaign for it. When I decided to join the Church; I decided to follow the rules.

 

[Joysong]

Hi Rebecca,

I didn’t go to seminary to become a pastor, I wanted to be a missionary. I either wanted to work with orphans, or help plant churches/train pastors in China or in Muslim countries. Being Catholic, certainly isn’t changing my calling to missions. I went to seminary because I figured I needed to have a firm theological grounding to do these type of things, don’t you think?

You are very altruistic and compassionate, and it is easy to see you have already put on the mind and heart of Christ.
God is calling you to serve Him in a very special manner. I fully believe He will make your mission known to you little by little as you walk with Him and allow Him to guide you.

This was one of the stumbling blocks that really kept me from seriously considering the Catholic Church for a long time. It wasn’t just that I couldn’t be a minister, but I couldn’t even marry a minister. My mom keeps on freaking out saying, Rebecca its going to be pointing all kinds of limits on you…

It seems that converts to our faith always face a little stumbling block of some sort to overcome. St. Elizabeth Ann Seton’s was the Eucharist, but after she embraced the faith, she was a wonderful foundress who discovered her “mission” of establishing many Catholic schools in a time when Catholics were persecuted for their faith - no small feat! She is the first canonized American saint, and it might be a nice idea to pray for her intercession as you seek God’s will.

You may not be able to marry a “minister,” Becca, but God will see to it that if you need a partner to fulfill your calling, in or out of marriage, help will be given to you by God. :yup:

Carole

 

[Orionthehunter]

bekalc:

Yes. I’m a girl. I thought that would have been pretty clear. Which, I think is just a little bit of my frustration. I did’nt go to seminary to become a pastor, I wanted to be a missionary. I either wanted to work with orphans, or help plant churches/train pastors in China or in Muslim countries. Being Catholic, certainly isn’t changing my calling to missions. I went to seminary because i figured I needed to have a firm theological grounding to do these type of things, don’t you think?

I will admit that it is hard for me coming from an environment where most of my friends are married, ministers with kids. And, then coming into an environment where not only are women not allowed to be ministers, but married men cannot be ministers too. It’s a tough thing, just a bit. In my environment, a lot of these couples view themselves as “teams.”

This was one of the stumbling blocks that really kept me from seriously considering the Catholic Church for a long time. It wasn’t just that I couldn’t be a minster, but I couldn’t even marry a minister. My mom keeps on freaking out saying, Rebecca its going to be pointing all kinds of limits on you…

But once I realized a lot of these divisions in Christianity, well they all stem from authority, its made me realize I frankly don’t want to add to it. And, when you really study theology especially Protestant theology, you realize how relativistic it truly is. I figure I can live with the Church’s decision on these things because they have the right to make these rules. And maybe they are right about female ministers not being God’s plan. Although I do understand the justification given at my seminary which is pretty conservative.

But your right, the priest doesn’t really know what to do with me, I don’t think.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against celibacy. It is a gift in Scripture; what I am kind of saying is that I think its hard for Protestants to grasp. Although I realize now that Catholics expect more from their priests, a part of me would perhaps counter that perhaps so much shouldn’t be expected.

One of the great gifts that come from the times that we disagree or question the Church is that we have something to take to prayer. Such disagreements usually are places where we have yet to submit our will and mind to God. You have a very Catholic heart as is witnessed by your understanding of submission to authority.

Pardon me if I read something into your comment but I sense that you are recognizing that your asperation of marrying a minister and being part of hte team is something you have to give up and are having consternation as you knew you’d be a great gift to such a man and contribute greatly to his ministry. This might be true. But it also might not be what God wants for you. I recommend that you read “Five Loves and Two Fishes” by a Vietnam Archbishop. This book is less than 100 pages long.

In that book, the Archbishop who was doing great work for God was imprisoned for over a decade. At first, he cried out to God questioning why God allowed him to be removed from his ministry. I won’t tell you the rest of the book but I do think it pertinent to this struggle of yours.

 

[Forest-Pine]

I want to also point out that you CAN marry a very Godly man and be a missionary. You can still have the same life you envisioned, but with different titles.

Second, you can marry a minister still. We have many ministers: youth ministers, music ministers, extraordinary ministers of holy communion, etc.

Third, I didn’t look at what country you are in. You might be being called to the Eastern Catholic Church which allows married priests (but hasn’t in America or Australia since 1929, which I think just this May changed.)

Fourth, your husband can also be ordained a permanent deacon. (That* is* ordained, as in deacons are part of the clergy and are ordained just like a priest.) Deacons wear vestments, assist at the alter, read the Gospel and the church’s prayer intentions, are Eucharistic ministers (and not of the extraordinary type), perform marriages, etc. They are addressed as “Reverend Mister.” Needless to say, a deacon can also be a missionary. You can find out more here: Deacon’s Place (I also think if a deacon is the only ordained representative of the church in a particular area [which could be the case in the mission field], he is allowed some priestly functions. I don’t know anything about this, though.)

Fifth, you and he can also belong to a religious order (as in the Dominicans, Franciscans, etc). Third orders allow married people.

If anything, Catholicism does not limit your options, it increases them!

 

[bekalc]

I am from America, but as said before I think I’m called to a foreign country. Your right there are options, and I know it. I was planning on joining a lay order after my student loan debt was reduced. I just sometimes get a bit frustrated like great more classes, more this more that. My mom wants me to talk to a protestant minister about it, and I’m planning on calling the church history guru of my former denomination for another more personal reason, and perhaps I’ll discuss it with him. But the thing I’m realizing is that my reasons for becoming Catholic are pretty concrete and they aren’t going to change. In some weird way It first began with a rejection of Protestantism.

 

[Forest-Pine]

bekalc:

I am from America, but as said before I think I’m called to a foreign country. Your right there are options, and I know it. I was planning on joining a lay order after my student loan debt was reduced. I just sometimes get a bit frustrated like great more classes, more this more that. My mom wants me to talk to a protestant minister about it, and I’m planning on calling the church history guru of my former denomination for another more personal reason, and perhaps I’ll discuss it with him. But the thing I’m realizing is that my reasons for becoming Catholic are pretty concrete and they aren’t going to change. In some weird way It first began with a rejection of Protestantism.

Well, if you have any questions, concerns, or need support–you know where to find us! There are foreign missionaries in the Catholic church (just in case you didn’t know that) and deacons are among them. It is wonderful that you are actually answering the calling God is sending you! Many young people, sadly, do not. An idea you might like is to go on retreat at a convent or friary. Many are open for visitors to spend the weekend; this is just one example. It might help you to pray over what path God wants to direct you down.

 

[bekalc]

I just want to say that I went to RCIA today, and it was so much better.

 

[Orionthehunter]

bekalc:

I just want to say that I went to RCIA today, and it was so much better.

That is great and congrats. The Holy Spirit probably worked with and through your Pastor and you to put you both in greater communion. Communication requires both an attentive speaker and attentive listener. God Bless you as you continue this Holy Journey that will last for all eternity!