What to do?

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John_of_Woking

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Hello

I was scrolling through my twitter feed when I thought I saw something disturbing posted by an orthodox practicing catholic. It seemed to be a jibe against feminism “feminism has lead us to this” below was a picture which looked like a women with tongue touching a lions tongue but I wasn’t sure as scrolled past quite quickly. I suddenly got in a moral dilemma do I
  1. never use twitter again.
  2. ban/unfollow poster
  3. look at the picture before casting unfair judgments at what your twitter pal is posting and banning him although admittedly there is a risk it was something gross
I chose option 3 as I wanted to believe that he wouldn’t post a picture like that and maybe I am misreading it. There was doubt and you have to give ppl benefit of doubt? Especially when they are orthodox catholics

Anyway I looked again …it was a women well kind of kissing a lion? There tongues were touching .Yuck. I admonished him as an act of mercy but now I am paranoid I have sinned and my scruples are going bezerk

Bestiality. Is that bestiality??? Yuck. Do I need to confess this? Was it morally imprudent? Should I have just never used twitter again? How would one even confess it ?

I am not going to confession as at time I did what I thought I had to do it but looking back feel repulsed

What say you?
 
John_of_Woking said:
Hello

I was scrolling through my twitter feed when I thought I saw something disturbing posted by an orthodox practicing catholic. It seemed to be a jibe against feminism “feminism has lead us to this” below was a picture which looked like a women with tongue touching a lions tongue but I wasn’t sure as scrolled past quite quickly. I suddenly got in a moral dilemma do I
  1. never use twitter again.
  2. ban/unfollow poster
  3. look at the picture before casting unfair judgments at what your twitter pal is posting and banning him although admittedly there is a risk it was something gross
I chose option 3 as I wanted to believe that he wouldn’t post a picture like that and maybe I am misreading it. There was doubt and you have to give ppl benefit of doubt? Especially when they are orthodox catholics

Anyway I looked again …it was a women well kind of kissing a lion? There tongues were touching .Yuck. I admonished him as an act of mercy but now I am paranoid I have sinned and my scruples are going bezerk

Bestiality. Is that bestiality??? Yuck. Do I need to confess this? Was it morally imprudent? Should I have just never used twitter again? How would one even confess it ?

I am not going to confession as at time I did what I thought I had to do it but looking back feel repulsed

What say you?
Click to expand...
To try to admonish everyone on Twitter, in the form of fraternal correction will be Mission Impossible. :slapfight:

I’d say to pick your battles.

You have your choice. If Twitter is that upsetting to you, then you can always steer clear. I used to go on Yahoo Mexico, but there were a lot of very disturbing comments and images that would leave me traumatized for the entire week.

Once, there was an image of a dog, crucified, and a guy making a satanic hand gesture. I think for a time I had PTSD as a result of just witnessing some of this. So, in that case, I found it absolutely necessary to steer completely free of Yahoo Mexico.

Another time, they showed a man who had been crucified, seemingly as punishment for raping someone. He was held up on a street sign with ice picks. This, too, was on Yahoo Mexico, and also upset me.

Also, when the pope would say something that made news, people would come out of the woodwork to comment, and it seemed like 90+% of those comments were negative. Some were REALLY negative, vicious to a point a moderator should have intervened.

At first, I tried to respond until I realized I was just wasting my breath, that my time was best spent practically ANYWHERE else.

So now, I never go on Yahoo Mexico, and if I go on some blog, see anti-Catholic comments, I generally just move on to the next thing, don’t even bother trying to bring that person around.

Instead, I listen to a song which will pick me up, read, talk to a friend on FaceBook, or work on something related to my classes…making materials so that I can work with my blind students.

It will probably bring you down to try to convert, or even help, people on Twitter. Unless you have a really tough skin, you could even go into a depression.

I am not on Twitter, now, just using FaceBook. I choose my friends and generally pretty much limit who I speak to. I “unfriend” people who say something that hurts me or images which I find offensive.

If you choose due to the good Twitter has to offer, then “unfollow” that person. Is there some way to limit your exposure on it to people, be more selective?

FaceBook has features con control that. We can make a profile “public”, can talk only to friends, can “unfriend” someone.

In deciding whether to get off Twitter altogether, I’d say to ask yourself, “Am I better with, or without, Twitter?” If you are still better off with it, then “unfollow” that individual and any others who upset you and use whatever features to limit your future exposure to undesirable elements.

If the answer was that you are better off without it, then just get off it and never look back, find some other way of communicating with people, or limit who you speak to and how. Best of luck, and God bless! 👍
 
If you are scrupulous, you need to be under spiritual direction.

Coming here and posting can make things worse. Please talk to your pastor.
 
I heard at a seminar (though I am not sure it is from a reliable source) that there is research suggesting a correlation between anxiety and the frequent use of online “social” media. If you find it upsetting, perhaps you should log out. In my opinion, you wouldn’t be missing much.

On second thought, just prune the list of people you are following. Keep this one:
Twitter: Pope Francis
 
One more thing…YOU did nothing wrong. We can´t hold ourselves responsible for what everyone else says and does. I know, in theory, the Bible says to do fraternal correction, but realistically, especially since the advent of the Internet, and given the low level society is at, it’s impractical, and unworkable to literally follow that advice.

People on Twitter, or FaceBook, who put, say, a pornographic image up, usually know it´s not right. So, I find it´s usually not necessary in most cases to even spell that out, since they generally already know.

I doubt you will change anyone. I used to take it to heart what the Bible said about our need to correct, fraternally. I lost one very good friend from trying to do just that.

So, since then, I have practically stopped fraternal correction, except if the person asks my opinion.

You will drive yourself crazy if you believe you need to correct everyone or are guilty of a sin every time you see something …pornographic, etc.

In our society, at this time, sadly, evil is EVERYWHERE.

It´s on the movies, in the books, magazines…EVERYWHERE. Try to limit your contact to it, but don´t drive yourself crazy over this issue.

I used to try SO hard to limit my exposure. Now, I take a more realistic, pragmatic approach. I do what I can, within reason, to limit my exposure to evil influences, but I see it´s wrong to try to blame myself everytime somebody on the internet puts something inappropriate.

I should NOT have to go to confession every time someone posts something inappropriate, and my eyes happened to see it. If I posted it, yes, then I should repent, go to confession. It sounds like you are already doing everything in your power to avoid evil. So, please don´t get stressed out of a sin that isn´t even your own!

Concerning ourselves with our own sins is quite sufficient.

I have “blocked” people, “unfriended”, but that, and just avoiding sites that are known for negativity, is about all you can do.

Please stop beating yourself up about this. Realize this is about THEM, NOT you!

I don´t think God wants us to be acting out of constant guilt and fear. If so, how can we ever be truly happy and love?

Do whatever you need to do in order to keep your sanity and peace of mind. Personally, I believe a person has a right to his sanity. If you need to get off Twitter for your peace of mind, then so be it.

I had to even limit my contact to the news, because I found it was depressing. I don´t even own a TV, now, but I’m sensitive in that way. Others can watch the news, even terror movies, and not lose their appetite, be totally unaffected!

Oh, and since I have gotten off Yahoo Mexico and stopped watching the news, it´s also made me a happier person. I get the news from others and people on CAF.

I watch other people freaking out of Ebola and all the rest, practically having panic attacks, but at least it´s no longer me!

Concern yourself with what you can change. Focus on yourself. Try not to worry so much about what everyone else is doing and saying. You will find that by changing yourself, you are also MORE likely to change others.

Christ told us not to be fearful.
 
Imagine you have a wonderful friend you are going to see, but you have to walk through a very bad area to get to your friend. What would you do?

The best thing to do would be to pray for those stuck in that area, no? You keep “custody of your eyes,” not looking avidly around, just looking enough not to bump into anyone. I starled me daughter once by squinching up my eyes in a department store because of my terrible habit of looking at everything.

In the same way as we go through this world towards our wonderful Friend, we must pray a lot for our own protection, and we should pray for those “stuck in the world,” no? And we must cut out of our lives those things which do not lead us towards God. Others may be anle to handle those things, so we do not judge a person who gets involved that way, but we each have different strengths and tasks.

Don’t even try to correct everyone who is wrong on the internet! (There used to be a little cartoon about that :)) Limit your exposure to that which helps you attain Heaven or to love God more, and just say a prayer for those who know not what they do.
 
ClearWater said:
One more thing…YOU did nothing wrong. We can´t hold ourselves responsible for what everyone else says and does. I know, in theory, the Bible says to do fraternal correction, but realistically, especially since the advent of the Internet, and given the low level society is at, it’s impractical, and unworkable to literally follow that advice.

People on Twitter, or FaceBook, who put, say, a pornographic image up, usually know it´s not right. So, I find it´s usually not necessary in most cases to even spell that out, since they generally already know.

I doubt you will change anyone. I used to take it to heart what the Bible said about our need to correct, fraternally. I lost one very good friend from trying to do just that.

So, since then, I have practically stopped fraternal correction, except if the person asks my opinion.

You will drive yourself crazy if you believe you need to correct everyone or are guilty of a sin every time you see something …pornographic, etc.

In our society, at this time, sadly, evil is EVERYWHERE.

It´s on the movies, in the books, magazines…EVERYWHERE. Try to limit your contact to it, but don´t drive yourself crazy over this issue.

I used to try SO hard to limit my exposure. Now, I take a more realistic, pragmatic approach. I do what I can, within reason, to limit my exposure to evil influences, but I see it´s wrong to try to blame myself everytime somebody on the internet puts something inappropriate.

I should NOT have to go to confession every time someone posts something inappropriate, and my eyes happened to see it. If I posted it, yes, then I should repent, go to confession. It sounds like you are already doing everything in your power to avoid evil. So, please don´t get stressed out of a sin that isn´t even your own!

Concerning ourselves with our own sins is quite sufficient.

I have “blocked” people, “unfriended”, but that, and just avoiding sites that are known for negativity, is about all you can do.

Please stop beating yourself up about this. Realize this is about THEM, NOT you!

I don´t think God wants us to be acting out of constant guilt and fear. If so, how can we ever be truly happy and love?

Do whatever you need to do in order to keep your sanity and peace of mind. Personally, I believe a person has a right to his sanity. If you need to get off Twitter for your peace of mind, then so be it.

I had to even limit my contact to the news, because I found it was depressing. I don´t even own a TV, now, but I’m sensitive in that way. Others can watch the news, even terror movies, and not lose their appetite, be totally unaffected!

Oh, and since I have gotten off Yahoo Mexico and stopped watching the news, it´s also made me a happier person. I get the news from others and people on CAF.

I watch other people freaking out of Ebola and all the rest, practically having panic attacks, but at least it´s no longer me!

Concern yourself with what you can change. Focus on yourself. Try not to worry so much about what everyone else is doing and saying. You will find that by changing yourself, you are also MORE likely to change others.

Christ told us not to be fearful.
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Thankyou for your post. You have obviously suffered similar torments with social media. I guess I thought I had a moral responsibility to either unfollow or admonish. Then I felt it would be uncharitable to unfollow a Practising Catholic without clearing up the doubt in my mind as to whether he posted the actual thing I feared he had. Then I checked. Then I fraternally corrected him BUT then felt GULITY for checking/exposing myself to the image. LOSE-LOSE scenario
The guy is obviously against bestiality but was making a point on the moral demise of feminists/secularists Etc. However, he needn’t have posted the image to make his point.
Anyway I can’t live like this and do need to find a priest trained in scrupulosity. But these are rare over in uk? I appreciate your heartfelt response. In Christ, John
 
St_Francis said:
Imagine you have a wonderful friend you are going to see, but you have to walk through a very bad area to get to your friend. What would you do?

The best thing to do would be to pray for those stuck in that area, no? You keep “custody of your eyes,” not looking avidly around, just looking enough not to bump into anyone. I starled me daughter once by squinching up my eyes in a department store because of my terrible habit of looking at everything.

In the same way as we go through this world towards our wonderful Friend, we must pray a lot for our own protection, and we should pray for those “stuck in the world,” no? And we must cut out of our lives those things which do not lead us towards God. Others may be anle to handle those things, so we do not judge a person who gets involved that way, but we each have different strengths and tasks.

Don’t even try to correct everyone who is wrong on the internet! (There used to be a little cartoon about that :)) Limit your exposure to that which helps you attain Heaven or to love God more, and just say a prayer for those who know not what they do.
Click to expand...
Good advice, thanks very much. I will try to assimilate. Peace
 
John_of_Woking said:
Thankyou for your post. You have obviously suffered similar torments with social media. I guess I thought I had a moral responsibility to either unfollow or admonish. Then I felt it would be uncharitable to unfollow a Practising Catholic without clearing up the doubt in my mind as to whether he posted the actual thing I feared he had. Then I checked. Then I fraternally corrected him BUT then felt GULITY for checking/exposing myself to the image. LOSE-LOSE scenario
The guy is obviously against bestiality but was making a point on the moral demise of feminists/secularists Etc. However, he needn’t have posted the image to make his point.
Anyway I can’t live like this and do need to find a priest trained in scrupulosity. But these are rare over in uk? I appreciate your heartfelt response. In Christ, John
Click to expand...
If one can´t go to a priest, due to the priest shortage or other reasons, there are other options, as well.

I´m not sure what the counseling situation is in the UK. In the US, we have Catholic Social Services who has counselors, Catholic Counselors, specifically.

It´s my understanding that scrupulosity is actually a form of Obsessive compulsive disorder, which, at least in some cases, is treatable.

Do you think counseling would be beneficial? On occasion, I have used, and benefitted from it, myself, as have many of us here on the forum, actually.

If you end up going the counseling route, it´d be helpful to find someone who is, if not Catholic, sympathetic to Catholicism, would be able to be understanding and empathic.

I once worked with a counselor who had 30 years experience as a counselor. She was Christian, but not Catholic, and she helped me a LOT, with everything. She was the best counselor I´ve had in my entire life! God bless her wherever she is now.

My ex-husband had OCD, and he actually was to a point he needed to be medicated in order to function, basically.

He went to a regular MD, got an anti-depressant for panic attacks. Really, in retrospect, he should have gone to a psychiatrist, gotten it diagnosed and treated properly from the beginning. I think he resisted for 2 reasons, probably the stigma of going to a psychiatrist and secondly, not wanting to give up his obsessions.

He took the anti-depressant, and indeed, the panic attacks stopped, but it did absolutely NOTHING for the underlying problem, which was the OC. So, he was just a happy OC!

I mentioned this to my counselor, as my ex-husband and I were separating, and she said it’s a shame he wouldn´t get the OCD treated properly, because according to her, it was actually one of the easier conditions to treat (compared to some others).

With OCD, often, the more we focus on it, the WORSE it makes it, in all irony! It´s sort of like, “What we resist will persist”, concept. Often, one trick with obsessions is to ignore them more than anything else, not allow them to upset our peace of mind.
Easier said than done, of course.

I hope you will take the honus of this responsibility off your shoulders from here on out. If we took that part of the Bible literally today, fraternal correction on the web could even, literally become a full-time job!

No, when I went through my stage where I thought I had to fraternally correct everyone, one of my sisters said it´s best, in her opinion, to lead by example. I´ve tried both ways and agree.

There are a bunch of ways to approach this, but any way you slice it, I hope you will not continue to feel guilty about everybody else´s sins. Life is hard enough, feeling guilty for all the sins WE have committed without putting a world on our shoulders.

Please cut yourself some slack and focus mainly on yourself and, as my sister suggested, lead by example. That´s the best way to lead, anyway.

👍
 
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