What to do?

[GratefulLeper]

Hello all! I thank you in advance for your help and prayers in this matter. I am recently married and after the wedding, my wife and I moved to the city where my wife had been living. It was a long struggle for me to find employment in this new city (searched for 4 months before the wedding, and took me a month after I had been living here) but finally found a full time job. The financial struggle was over, and on top of that, my job (at a bank) was only 3 minutes from my Church and it allowed me to go to Daily Mass. It wasn’t what I went to school for but I liked the idea of working with the public and that I had a chance to impact the people I interact with in a positive way. Plus, the bank gave me a month training. So the training went great and I was off to a great start and doing well with my transitions of marriage-new city-new job.

Here’s where the problem comes. I’ve been at the bank for almost a month. I’m doing great and I love interacting with the customers, but the sales pressure is way, way, way too stressful. My manager (who I’m sure is under a lot of pressure too) has unreasonable demands on me, especially considering I’m only a few weeks out of training. I’ve been researching into it, and found out others have quit after a few weeks too because they just couldn’t take it anymore (both the bank itself and the manager). I can see myself coming home depressed some days, I feel like I lose a lot of my dignity at work, and really can’t envision how it can get better (it’s not just a case of a rough transition to a new job). Be assured, I am praying every day about this, going to Mass right after work, and trying to align my suffering with that of Christ. Granted, there are SO many others going through worse, and I’m sure so many unemployed wish they were in my situation.

I’m torn between saying ‘heck with this- my health and dignity is not worth this’ and just quitting vs. grinding it out while I look for something else. I completely understand that probably everyone has had the experience of an overbearing manager, but this place it’s the manager plus the whole culture there. Any help/advice would be appreciated. I’m really trying to do the best I can to support my wife and be a provider. I even have a 2nd job which I can only work part time so in total I work about 60 hrs a week. Thank you and God bless.

 

[Xantippe]

Hello all! I thank you in advance for your help and prayers in this matter. I am recently married and after the wedding, my wife and I moved to the city where my wife had been living. It was a long struggle for me to find employment in this new city (searched for 4 months before the wedding, and took me a month after I had been living here) but finally found a full time job. The financial struggle was over, and on top of that, my job (at a bank) was only 3 minutes from my Church and it allowed me to go to Daily Mass. It wasn’t what I went to school for but I liked the idea of working with the public and that I had a chance to impact the people I interact with in a positive way. Plus, the bank gave me a month training. So the training went great and I was off to a great start and doing well with my transitions of marriage-new city-new job.

Here’s where the problem comes. I’ve been at the bank for almost a month. I’m doing great and I love interacting with the customers, but the sales pressure is way, way, way too stressful. My manager (who I’m sure is under a lot of pressure too) has unreasonable demands on me, especially considering I’m only a few weeks out of training. I’ve been researching into it, and found out others have quit after a few weeks too because they just couldn’t take it anymore (both the bank itself and the manager). I can see myself coming home depressed some days, I feel like I lose a lot of my dignity at work, and really can’t envision how it can get better (it’s not just a case of a rough transition to a new job). Be assured, I am praying every day about this, going to Mass right after work, and trying to align my suffering with that of Christ. Granted, there are SO many others going through worse, and I’m sure so many unemployed wish they were in my situation.

I’m torn between saying ‘heck with this- my health and dignity is not worth this’ and just quitting vs. grinding it out while I look for something else. I completely understand that probably everyone has had the experience of an overbearing manager, but this place it’s the manager plus the whole culture there. Any help/advice would be appreciated. I’m really trying to do the best I can to support my wife and be a provider. I even have a 2nd job which I can only work part time so in total I work about 60 hrs a week. Thank you and God bless.

Is your wife working?

I’m a Dave Ramsey fan and I understand what kind of unethical stuff you might be being asked to push on your customers in a bank. (Heck, these days, many major retailer do that to their employees–a lot of them are under tremendous pressure to sign up customers for store credit cards.) So, you have my sympathy.

How about just cutting down the second job and using that time to hunt for a new main job? I would hesitate to quit this job (however terrible it is) until you have something new lined up.

If a local credit union is hiring, that might be a very good fit for you.

Best wishes!

 

[lucymeadhbh]

Hello all! I thank you in advance for your help and prayers in this matter. I am recently married and after the wedding, my wife and I moved to the city where my wife had been living. It was a long struggle for me to find employment in this new city (searched for 4 months before the wedding, and took me a month after I had been living here) but finally found a full time job. The financial struggle was over, and on top of that, my job (at a bank) was only 3 minutes from my Church and it allowed me to go to Daily Mass. It wasn’t what I went to school for but I liked the idea of working with the public and that I had a chance to impact the people I interact with in a positive way. Plus, the bank gave me a month training. So the training went great and I was off to a great start and doing well with my transitions of marriage-new city-new job.

Here’s where the problem comes. I’ve been at the bank for almost a month. I’m doing great and I love interacting with the customers, but the sales pressure is way, way, way too stressful. My manager (who I’m sure is under a lot of pressure too) has unreasonable demands on me, especially considering I’m only a few weeks out of training. I’ve been researching into it, and found out others have quit after a few weeks too because they just couldn’t take it anymore (both the bank itself and the manager). I can see myself coming home depressed some days, I feel like I lose a lot of my dignity at work, and really can’t envision how it can get better (it’s not just a case of a rough transition to a new job). Be assured, I am praying every day about this, going to Mass right after work, and trying to align my suffering with that of Christ. Granted, there are SO many others going through worse, and I’m sure so many unemployed wish they were in my situation.

I’m torn between saying ‘heck with this- my health and dignity is not worth this’ and just quitting vs. grinding it out while I look for something else. I completely understand that probably everyone has had the experience of an overbearing manager, but this place it’s the manager plus the whole culture there. Any help/advice would be appreciated. I’m really trying to do the best I can to support my wife and be a provider. I even have a 2nd job which I can only work part time so in total I work about 60 hrs a week. Thank you and God bless.

I’m so sick of experiencing this\hearing about this happening. I’m afraid I have no practical advice for you but I will think and pray for you and those in your situation. I can well understand how it is stressful,so I will pray for your guardian angel to go before you at work. What is with the retail culture at the moment? It’s utterly bizarre!:banghead:

 

[oldgraymare2]

Hi GratefulLeper,

I am so sorry about the stress that you are under.

If I were you, I would try and stay with this job until you can find something else.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I think you could actively look for other work while remaining in the employment you are in. This method actually is good because the alternative is to quit now. And you probably don’t want to do that. But the idea that this is short term as you look for a better fit can take a TON of pressure off you. If your boss wants to know why you haven’t hit the quota of whatever it is, you can smile, and say I am doing my best to help our customers. They won’t fire you for that. (probably)

 

[TxGodfollower]

Hello all! I thank you in advance for your help and prayers in this matter. I am recently married and after the wedding, my wife and I moved to the city where my wife had been living. It was a long struggle for me to find employment in this new city (searched for 4 months before the wedding, and took me a month after I had been living here) but finally found a full time job. The financial struggle was over, and on top of that, my job (at a bank) was only 3 minutes from my Church and it allowed me to go to Daily Mass. It wasn’t what I went to school for but I liked the idea of working with the public and that I had a chance to impact the people I interact with in a positive way. Plus, the bank gave me a month training. So the training went great and I was off to a great start and doing well with my transitions of marriage-new city-new job.

Here’s where the problem comes. I’ve been at the bank for almost a month. I’m doing great and I love interacting with the customers, but the sales pressure is way, way, way too stressful. My manager (who I’m sure is under a lot of pressure too) has unreasonable demands on me, especially considering I’m only a few weeks out of training. I’ve been researching into it, and found out others have quit after a few weeks too because they just couldn’t take it anymore (both the bank itself and the manager). I can see myself coming home depressed some days, I feel like I lose a lot of my dignity at work, and really can’t envision how it can get better (it’s not just a case of a rough transition to a new job). Be assured, I am praying every day about this, going to Mass right after work, and trying to align my suffering with that of Christ. Granted, there are SO many others going through worse, and I’m sure so many unemployed wish they were in my situation.

I’m torn between saying ‘heck with this- my health and dignity is not worth this’ and just quitting vs. grinding it out while I look for something else. I completely understand that probably everyone has had the experience of an overbearing manager, but this place it’s the manager plus the whole culture there. Any help/advice would be appreciated. I’m really trying to do the best I can to support my wife and be a provider. I even have a 2nd job which I can only work part time so in total I work about 60 hrs a week. Thank you and God bless.

I know what your going through. I have a similar store: working in financial services and I have a very reserved personality. There is no way I could meet the expectations the managers put on me. After about 18 months (don’t have anyone to support and I’m very stubborn) I was thinking about leaving. Our new manager wanted to team me up with an agent he worked with at his previous firm. That agent needed someone analytical to help expand his practice. The two of us are starting together soon (he had some family issues that delayed his start) and we should be able to make some good money.

I’d recommend making sure you have about 9 months worth of expenses saved (so that your 2nd job + savings provides for 9 months of bills) before you leave that job.

 

[HopenHappiness]

What does your wife say about the whole thing? Her opinion holds more weight then anyone else’s. I would turn to her and seek her advice on the matter.

 

[Beryllos]

If you figure you are going to leave soon anyhow, you might consider taking the bull by the horns, that is, talking privately with your boss about the way you perform your job and the way the pressure affects you.

Keep it positive, keep it constructive, something like “I want to do the best I can for the bank. I want us to be successful. Also I love this kind of work, working with customers. The only problem is the sales pressure. It’s killing me. Some days I feel like [put it in your own words here]. I seriously think I could perform just as well, or better, without all the pressure. What do you think?”

Since they have a high turnover, and they have already invested a month’s training in you, your boss probably won’t fire you on the spot, and if he does, well, you haven’t lost much.

Could you elaborate on what’s bugging you about the job? Are they asking you to do something that you regard as immoral, for example, to be deceptive or less than honest with the customers? You mentioned dignity. Could you explain how it is that the job adversely impacts your dignity?

 

[GratefulLeper]

Thank you all for your kind responses.

I think for now I’m going to keep praying about it, look for something else, and ‘offer it up’ in the meantime until I find something different. My wife is very supportive- she does have a part time job right now but we are definitely relying mostly on my income. I am going to take the suggestion to look at the credit unions, as I’m sure the sales pressure is far less than my current bank.

I’m not being asked to do anything immoral, but lots of unethical things i.e. trying to get everyone to sign up for credit cards who don’t need them, being way too aggressive in general with pushing products on people. I do feel like I lose dignity there and feel that I’m just an employee number and not a person. There’s very little concern for employees, but they are concerned about the bottom line. I know that is certainly most places, but at this particular bank, they don’t even try to mask it. I’m doing my best to bear with everything, and ‘yes’ my manager to death for now, but it’s a little difficult to get insulted all day and told what I’m doing is wrong- I do have a sensitive personality but this isn’t a matter of just having more thick skin.

Thanks again to everyone, and certainly for your prayers. Let us pray for all workers, for all the unemployed, and for all those that labor and are burdened.

 

[Xantippe]

Thank you all for your kind responses.

I think for now I’m going to keep praying about it, look for something else, and ‘offer it up’ in the meantime until I find something different. My wife is very supportive- she does have a part time job right now but we are definitely relying mostly on my income. I am going to take the suggestion to look at the credit unions, as I’m sure the sales pressure is far less than my current bank.

Especially post-2008 in the US, the credit unions have gotten a lot of good press for being more customer-oriented.

I’m not being asked to do anything immoral, but lots of unethical things i.e. trying to get everyone to sign up for credit cards who don’t need them, being way too aggressive in general with pushing products on people. I do feel like I lose dignity there and feel that I’m just an employee number and not a person. There’s very little concern for employees, but they are concerned about the bottom line. I know that is certainly most places, but at this particular bank, they don’t even try to mask it. I’m doing my best to bear with everything, and ‘yes’ my manager to death for now, but it’s a little difficult to get insulted all day and told what I’m doing is wrong- I do have a sensitive personality but this isn’t a matter of just having more thick skin.

Thanks again to everyone, and certainly for your prayers. Let us pray for all workers, for all the unemployed, and for all those that labor and are burdened.

 

[Beryllos]

Thanks again to everyone, and certainly for your prayers. Let us pray for all workers, for all the unemployed, and for all those that labor and are burdened.

I am praying with you on that.

 

[Lorelei12]

I would not quit until I found something else. Does your job provide the medical benefits? If so, I definitely wouldn’t. I used to work at a bank as well, and I understand the sales pressure and the culture. There is a reason I left that job- I get it. But you have your own family now, and that means doing what you have to.

Is this your first professional job after graduating? I only ask because it seems surprising to you that the bank is “only concerned about the bottom line”. I think you will find that most larger companies are like that. The suggestion to look at credit unions is a good one, and if this isn’t what you went to school for, is there a possibility that you could move to an area where there are jobs at which you can use your degree?

Also, you mentioned your wife is working part time- is there a reason she cannot work full time? Sixty hours a week is a lot, and if she is able to work full time you might be able to cut down on your hours at your part time job so that you can look for something more suitable.

 

[Xantippe]

I would not quit until I found something else. Does your job provide the medical benefits? If so, I definitely wouldn’t. I used to work at a bank as well, and I understand the sales pressure and the culture. There is a reason I left that job- I get it. But you have your own family now, and that means doing what you have to.

Is this your first professional job after graduating? I only ask because it seems surprising to you that the bank is “only concerned about the bottom line”. I think you will find that most larger companies are like that. The suggestion to look at credit unions is a good one, and if this isn’t what you went to school for, is there a possibility that you could move to an area where there are jobs at which you can use your degree?

Also, you mentioned your wife is working part time- is there a reason she cannot work full time? Sixty hours a week is a lot, and if she is able to work full time you might be able to cut down on your hours at your part time job so that you can look for something more suitable.

Yes, if your wife isn’t in school, a full time job or a second part-time job would be good.