What to say and not say?

[GratefulFred]

I will visit a friend for a day and half who has terminal cancer. He has not practiced his Catholic Faith in many years. His life has not been all that easy but he does have a good heart.

What to say and not say?

 

[dee_burk]

Wow, thats a good question. You might take a rosary and offer to pray it with them and offer to leave them the rosary.

 

[Emme781]

Wow, thats a good question. You might take a rosary and offer to pray it with them and offer to leave them the rosary.

Good suggestion. Also bring one of the many booklets on the mysteries of the rosary - they help with meditation, especially who may not have prayed the rosary for a long time. If he’s reluctant or refuses, don’t make a huge deal of it, just leave them and the Holy Spirit will prompt him to take a look when he’s alone.

 

[BlossomingFaith]

I am very sorry to hear about your friend.
For your friend-I just said a quick prayer for him.
I am sure others will have some more Catholic advice since I am a recent revert and full of questions myself.
However, based on my experiences, I would recommend doing a lot of listening. A person’s spiritual ideas and beliefs change rapidly sometimes. See how he is feeling. He might be angry, in denial, afraid, etc
I would avoid makkng promises about the future.
Dont hesitate to offer to pray with him or for him. Even if he doesnt believe, he will appreciate the effort- and you just never know.
My husband was dx with cancer fairly recently and he is also a lapsed Catholic (I pray for his conversion now, too) and he appreciates prayers too.

Is your friend going theough treatment?

 

[Sunbreak]

You can offer to pray with him if he wants, but don’t push anything on him.

 

[KLM789]

I don’t have this from official authority, but it seems to me, if you’re worried about your friend’s state in terms of reconciliation with God, you could ask what it’s like to be so ill and to consider faith in God when one hasn’t done so for a long time.

But if the subject doesn’t come up or you get an answer that puts you off, I’d turn to prayer, pray for him and remember you have no idea how God and your friend relate. Nor do you know what mysterious goings on take place when a person is terminal and about to meet God. He or she is baptized, has in the past been accepted into the church, is not ex-communicated. Simply out of practice and maybe should try confession. God knows what’s important and what is not. In many ways its not for you to concern yourself. I’d think it was better you showed him loving friendship, share the best you have to offer in the way of uplifting your friend and ask the Spirit to guide the situation.

He’ll be fine if its God’s will. Pray that it is.

 

[jaimeleglise]

Maybe ask if he would like a priest to visit him?

 

[BlossomingFaith]

just wanted to clarify that my husband’s is treatable, which is a different ballgame.

I think it also makes a difference if this is a condition that could be fatal but has a chance of remission vs something like pancreatic where there are often a few months from dx to end stage.

Either way, I hope the Holy Spirit guides you with words of comfort and peace for your sick friend.

 

[pianistclare]

Maybe ask if he would like a priest to visit him?

This^^.
He may surprise you and say yes.
Priests are trained to deal with this. It could bring him great peace. Beyond that, treat him as you would if he were not ill…tell the same jokes, ask how he is doing, don’t shy away from him. People don’t want pity. People just need someone to listen or talk to.
Just be there, but do offer to have a priest visit.
God bless you for caring.

 

[jeannetherese]

I will visit a friend for a day and half who has terminal cancer. He has not practiced his Catholic Faith in many years. His life has not been all that easy but he does have a good heart.

What to say and not say?

I

Could you take him some Lourdes water? Perhaps find out when adoration takes place at a nearby church and share the time and location with him.
He may not be ready to go but its availability will be in mind.
Perhaps he might be enrolled in a novena.
I’m posting a link to a place where I had a novena for someone in a similar situation below.
I wonder who your friend’s patron saint might be?

May God bless you and your friend.
Amen.
stjude-shrine.org/novenas

 

[GratefulFred]

My friend’s name is Michael and I hope to remind him of my personal devotion Holy Michael, the Archangel.

Mike lives out of town and is staying with one of his many siblings. He asked me to visit. I plan to make it a friendly visit and let him set the agenda and wait for a time when we can talk. I realize that I’ll need the Holy Spirit to guide me and then I need to let the Holy Spirit do the rest.

Part of letting the Holy Spirit guide our conversation caused me to ask here. And you all have given excellent advice. Thank you all. I check again in the morning before I start my journey to comfort Mike.

Holy Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God
cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits
who wander through the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.