What to say to women after an abortion

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"Another survey of post-abortion women, which appeared in Women’s World, revealed that 45% (well over a third) of women had suicidal feelings following their abortions.(4).

These are just some of the studies connecting abortion with suicide. Pro-life organizations need to reach out to post-abortion women and give them encouragement, support, and compassion."
This quote is from an article titled “Abortion and Suicide: the grim statistics”, here.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to reach out to post-abortion women with compassion? The crisis pregnancy clinic where I work frequently has women call requesting abortion referrals; we encourage them to come in and talk about their decision, or even just for a free pregnancy test. Often we call them back later and they just say, “I had the abortion.” They don’t want to talk about it. at least not to us.
What could we do or say that would give them encouragement, support and compassion, without sounding patronizing?
 
I would think it would be good to at least mention the possibility of depression arising at your follow up calls. I’ve been advised that its against the rules to offer actual advice here–so let’s just say that in my opinion, there may be 2 issues which cause so many post abortion women to experience depression. The first, obviously, is that a reality sets in after the pregnancy is terminated–a woman is faced with the reality that the child once there will never be. Even if she truly didn’t want to be pregnant—she still knows she was and now isn’t. The second might have to do with hormonal fluctuations which lead to postpartum depression in some women after a routine, term delivery when suddenly the pregnancy hormones plummet. I rather doubt that abortion clinics discuss subjects like postpartum depression with the women who come to them–just my opinion.
 
I don’t have any training in this area, so my :twocents: could be completely wrong, so take that into consideration 😃

But when you make that second call, I’d somehow make a gentle comment like “if you’d like to talk to someone else about how you’re feeling, I can give you some information.” I’d refer, of course, to someone who’s a trained therapist/crisis (as in suicidal) counselor. They needn’t necessarily be affiliated with the pro-life movement, but they should certainly not tell tell her anything like “you have no reason to be depressed.” Women need a compassionate voice after losing a child, not a cold shoulder.
 
acarlson said:
I don’t have any training in this area, so my :twocents: could be completely wrong, so take that into consideration 😃

But when you make that second call, I’d somehow make a gentle comment like “if you’d like to talk to someone else about how you’re feeling, I can give you some information.” I’d refer, of course, to someone who’s a trained therapist/crisis (as in suicidal) counselor. They needn’t necessarily be affiliated with the pro-life movement, but they should certainly not tell tell her anything like “you have no reason to be depressed.” Women need a compassionate voice after losing a child, not a cold shoulder.
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Beautifully put! When a pro life center calls a woman back after the abortion has already been done—at the least it would most likely make the woman uncomfortable. Somehow one needs to get across to them that the follow up is meant as help and support-- not as judgment. Where’s Pope Francis when we need him?! LOL!👍
 
I will just reiterate Project Rachel one more time … their mission is to heal those impacted by abortion … they have specially trained counselors and are totally focused on healing and the love these people need … and they have great information for those who encounter someone who is post-abortive

hopeafterabortion.com/

Check them out …

They have informational brochures - Our parish respect Life Group purchases them and we make them available in our parish vestibule - easy access - anonymous really - so people can pick them up - either for themselves or to give to someone … and people do take them - so there is a need and an interest

FYI - I know that our Mother & Child Education Center [formerly Birthright - a crisis pregnancy center] has had some of their employees and crisis pregnancy phone counselors attend a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat weekend … but attendance for training has a strict criteria. I am not sure what it entails - I had a friend who worked at the Right to Life Center attend for training many years ago … It also requires strict confidentiality and special permissions - because the weekends are focused on love and healing - they do not want anyone to be hurt further then they already are …

Even priests that participate in the retreats receive special instruction and training …
 
Ditto on Project Rachel! 👍 Read anything by the foundress, Vicki Thorn.

We are very blessed in the Archdiocese of Denver to be receiving training for counseling post-abortive women, and men. (Fathers are affected, too) It’s a tri-Archdiocese, Diocese (Colorado Springs, and Cheyenne, WY) effort. It’s a pilot program with the main idea being, if anyone needs help, the help will come at the Archdiocese, Diocese level. We pray the program will spread across the country.

Please consider, many women do not want to talk to anyone about the abortion. Vicki Thorn talks about an eighty-four year old woman, who’s children would not take her to confession. Her children kept telling her, she was old, and couldn’t have committed any mortal sins. The woman told Vicki Thorn, she had an abortion during WWII. Sixty-some years later, this woman was finally ready to confess, and be forgiven.
 
Viki63 said:
"Another survey of post-abortion women, which appeared in Women’s World, revealed that 45% (well over a third) of women had suicidal feelings following their abortions.(4).

These are just some of the studies connecting abortion with suicide. Pro-life organizations need to reach out to post-abortion women and give them encouragement, support, and compassion."
This quote is from an article titled “Abortion and Suicide: the grim statistics”, here.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to reach out to post-abortion women with compassion? The crisis pregnancy clinic where I work frequently has women call requesting abortion referrals; we encourage them to come in and talk about their decision, or even just for a free pregnancy test. Often we call them back later and they just say, “I had the abortion.” They don’t want to talk about it. at least not to us.
What could we do or say that would give them encouragement, support and compassion, without sounding patronizing?
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I would suggest having a professional on-call to refer these women so they can receive healing and counseling, and assure them that this person is professional, and anything they tell the professional will be in confidence.
 
Muze said:
I would suggest having a professional on-call to refer these women so they can receive healing and counseling, and assure them that this person is professional, and anything they tell the professional will be in confidence.
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Just a thought: So many states are lowering the ages when minors/teens can have abortions, access to whatever artificial contraception they want, etc without parental consent or involvement. Conversely, just as many states–and often the same states–will not let a kid in high school take a tylenol for menstrual cramps without signed consent from the parents. Usually it seems to boil down to the fact that if a 13 year old wants the pill–or is pregnant and seeks OB care or a termination–they can often do what they want without bringing their parents into it. So, I’m just wondering if anyone runs into any specific legal problems with trying to get young women who’ve had abortions and perhaps need and want grief counselling or follow up in with a counselor or do they have to have parental okay since the girl would no longer be pregnant?- Is that ever an issue anywhere? If so, how do you get around or deal with it?
 
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