What to tell a suicidal friend?

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I am learning more about her situation. She comes from a devout Catholic family. She is dramatic - over exaggerates. Family and friends do not take her seriously. One thing she often complains about is that she does not feel heard. When she tells her family about her difficult situations, their immediate response to tell her to ignore it and pray. I notice she has very weak boundaries in friendships. Some of things she has let people get away with is ridiculous. From visiting her family, they are anti-arguments and very much into “do what I tell you.” Her family seems not believe in “burning bridges” or cut off friendships no matter what. She told me her father often answers the phone to friends and relatives who want to use him for money. Loyalty is very big in their family. A lot of her closest friends behave like an authority figure to her. She is very fearful of cutting off one of her borderline bully friends because her parents will disapprove. Her parents response seem to be just be “ignore her insults” “overlook faults.” From what she tells me, her father seems more interested in playing lawyer/seeing the bullying issue from all perspectives than validating her opinion. I see the merit in not blinding believing your daughter. Your daughter could be the perpetrator. From what it sounds, her parents are more into blaming her or see things in “guilty until proven innocent.” I understand no friendship is perfect and not all situations should be considered abusive. From what it sounds like, this girl’s friend is a bully. Five other people have considered her friend’s behavior as bullying or mildly abusive. She does not want to cut off the friendship and remains complaining. For an adult, she seems to be awfully dependent on others to tell her things. As a friend, it can get frustrating. I get it we all have our blind-spots and need reassurance for our decision, we need people to tell us things about ourselves. People’s (name removed by moderator)ut and opinions should not be so strong for an adult. If someone treats you so poorly, why stay? She does not have an perception outside herself outside of her family thinks of her. When she describes herself it is “my father say I’m…” “my mother says I’m,” As much I do not take her suicidal threats seriously, she talks about it too often for it be ignored. What if she one day gets the courage to kill herself? I often wonder how will her family take it?
 
Your friend NEEDS to surround herself with her caring friends (like yourself 🙂 by caring friends I mean friends that love her and don’t try to bully her or talk down to her ) and to also see a therapist …im not suggesting she has a mental problem or anything…i only suggest a therapist as she needs someone to help her build her confidence and self worth and to help her her be more assertive and know that its ok to stand up for herself…and that’s where her therapist and caring friends come in…she deserves to have a happy life

She should not have to be friends with anyone she doesn’t want to be friends with, she should not have to speak to family she doesn’t want to speak to…
It sounds like she has been trodden down for so long she doesn’t know how to say no to them…but with the help of a therapist she could turn it all round, please help her to get help…if she is feeling suicidal then that shows how bad this situation is for her, she must be feeling so hopeless and in despair and like theres no way out…she needs help to get out of this situation
 
Get her to professional help. ASAP.
Do not think that you alone can “fix” her.
She needs professional help.
Don’t delay.
 
Suicidal thoughts are serious business. As someone who deals with depression, I know that path. I’ve walked it.

The above suggestion, to reach out to the Suicide Prevention Hotline, is the best. And from there, they can give resources.

Friends are immensely helpful. Religious clergy, too. But they can’t always be there. That’s why it’s a MUST to reach out, thank GOD for those hotlines because I still call them, and get to see a mental health professional ASAP.

But your friend needs to get away from those toxic people. Delete facebook, change phone numbers, avoid at all costs.

In Prayer,
GW
 
Is oversensitiveness a characteristic of depression? Not sure if it is serious depression or simple self-pity. Mental illness runs on both sides of her family. She can take things people do to her too personally.
 
CRATUS said:
Is oversensitiveness a characteristic of depression? Not sure if it is serious depression or simple self-pity. Mental illness runs on both sides of her family. She can take things people do to her too personally.
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Tread carefully here. There is no such thing as being oversensitive. Her feelings are her feelings and they are valid.

The big signs of depression are (with me) feelings of hopelessness, despair, emptiness, and at its worst incapacitation where I can’t get out of bed. I’m recently coming out of a bad bout of depression where I didn’t shower for days and just slept. Depression also causes me to have strange eating habits, so I am very tiny. Depression can make you feel like you just can’t eat, for others, they eat a lot. Everyone with the affliction is different.
 
For her, she takes about her fear of dying frequently and strongly questions the existence of an afterlife. She is looking for scientific evidence.
 
CRATUS said:
I am learning more about her situation. She comes from a devout Catholic family. She is dramatic - over exaggerates. Family and friends do not take her seriously. One thing she often complains about is that she does not feel heard. When she tells her family about her difficult situations, their immediate response to tell her to ignore it and pray. I notice she has very weak boundaries in friendships. Some of things she has let people get away with is ridiculous. From visiting her family, they are anti-arguments and very much into “do what I tell you.” Her family seems not believe in “burning bridges” or cut off friendships no matter what. She told me her father often answers the phone to friends and relatives who want to use him for money. Loyalty is very big in their family. A lot of her closest friends behave like an authority figure to her. She is very fearful of cutting off one of her borderline bully friends because her parents will disapprove. Her parents response seem to be just be “ignore her insults” “overlook faults.” From what she tells me, her father seems more interested in playing lawyer/seeing the bullying issue from all perspectives than validating her opinion. I see the merit in not blinding believing your daughter. Your daughter could be the perpetrator. From what it sounds, her parents are more into blaming her or see things in “guilty until proven innocent.” I understand no friendship is perfect and not all situations should be considered abusive. From what it sounds like, this girl’s friend is a bully. Five other people have considered her friend’s behavior as bullying or mildly abusive. She does not want to cut off the friendship and remains complaining. For an adult, she seems to be awfully dependent on others to tell her things. As a friend, it can get frustrating. I get it we all have our blind-spots and need reassurance for our decision, we need people to tell us things about ourselves. People’s (name removed by moderator)ut and opinions should not be so strong for an adult. If someone treats you so poorly, why stay? She does not have an perception outside herself outside of her family thinks of her. When she describes herself it is “my father say I’m…” “my mother says I’m,” As much I do not take her suicidal threats seriously, she talks about it too often for it be ignored. What if she one day gets the courage to kill herself? I often wonder how will her family take it?
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I’m a recovering cutter and I still have recurring suicidal thoughts. Quite honestly the best thing you can do in that situation is to be a friend
 
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