What to tell son - confession

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BrownEyes123

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Not sure what I should say to my 11 y/o son about this. He went to confession with our newly ordained parochial vicar. He said he was sure he gave him absolution (I asked), but he was confused about a couple things: when he asked about when they were going to do the Act of Contrition (he says he always asks for help as he can’t remember at the time, and every other priest they will say it and he repeats), the priest said you don’t need to do a formal one just say, “I’m sorry”. He also insists he didn’t give him a penance, and my son couldn’t believe it. I’m assuming my son included saying he stole money from my purse 🙁…he asked to go to confession after he was caught.

My son went on to say that Fr. must not know the Act of Contrition (I told him that he has to know it), and that he doesn’t want to go to him again.

Added info: I’m not that fond of the guy, trying to be open-minded in regards to him, but things keep coming up that rub me the wrong way.
 
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No Act of Contrition- not a big deal- There are multiple versions, and a heartfelt “I’m sorry, Jesus” is acceptable.

The lack of penance is, IMO, a bigger issue… perhaps @FrDavid96 could weigh in…
 
He specifically asked Fr. And wanted to do it. I understand it can be simplified or done outside after, but I’m thinking he probably could have taken the extra minute to do it with him.
 
If you’re able, talk to the priest about it. I honestly can’t say anything more- I simply dont know enough concerning the situation.
 
If he said the formula at the end, your son was absolved.

While the priest may be lacking with the structure, the formula and the matter of the sacrament (sins) are all that’s required.

-Seminarian
 
I haven’t been to confession with this particular priest yet, I may just have to go to him to see how he does things. We have 2 priests assigned to us-numerous churches, so they alternate each week. We have a nice traditional confessional, but he instead uses a small room in the back. Many people actually walk in and leave when they realize where he’s hearing confessions.
 
People of all walks of life often have difficulties gauging a minor’s age and abilities. He may have mistakenly thought he was giving your son a break or doing an age-appropriate favor of sorts. There’s also the potential to dismiss kids as less-than-serious, so they don’t get the adult treatment. Hopefully, that’s not the case.
 
I would hope he would have gauged his ability by now. He’s been with us for 2 months, and my son is an altar server that serves all the time, often solo.
 
I have 3 Confessors. 1 of them asks for an act of contrition. It can be whatever I choose to say that is relevant. They all give different penance, either a Hail Mary, Lords Prayer or simply praising God for His forgiveness.
Let your childs Sacrament of Reconcilliation be between him
and his Priest.
 
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Have your son memorize it. I know the “trend” is the Church is trying to lighten the obligatory load off it’s members and make confession more comfortable. Slowly, it is moving toward a progressive “confessional tweek” in the near future. A good start on the practice of self mortification would be to experience a slight inconvenience. Better still, return to a traditional liturgy. Here your son will surely receive the proper teachings of 2000 years of tradition in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To compensate for this one case, have him do his own penance. A good start to learning a devotion such has the Rosary in the meantime.
 
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Tis may be a good way to remind your son that the penance given in confession doesn’t cover all the penance a sin requires.

For example, a child may break a neighbor’s window. He needs to apologize to the neighbor (Confession), but the window is still broken. His parents may say, you have to pay half your allowance for 4 weeks to help pay for the window, but it is a rare allowance that two weeks’ worth will pay for a window! and then there is the repair itself… so the small amount of reparation required by the parents or the priest don’t cover all the reparation required.
 
There is some variability in the way Confession is done, and these differences are okay. It appears that the priest did nothing wrong. Maybe he did a good thing to shake your son up a little, get him thinking about contrition, penance, and reconciliation. It appears to have had quite an impact, and maybe that is better than saying one Our Father or some other easy penance.
 
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