What "tools" are successful in fighting sexual temptation and avoidance of sexual sin?

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Seeks_God

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All,

What would you recommend to someone who fights sexual temptation and sin on a regular basis? Are there “tools” that are successful in helping someone in this aspect of their spiritual lives?

SG
 
Prayer - prayer and more prayer.

The Rosary, the St Michael Prayer, the Memorare to the Blessed Virgin. Pray constantly.

Pray even when you AREN’T being tempted - thank God for His gifts of your body and your sexuality and promise Him to use them to His glory rather than the devil’s or your own.

And the sacraments - confession as often as you sin, communion as often as you can.
 
Look at the sticky at the top of the page for links to sites that help in battling impurity.

Betsy
 
An accountiblity buddy is most effective. Also, Rom 12 helps alot too.
 
Seeks_God said:
All,What would you recommend to someone who fights sexual temptation and sin on a regular basis? Are there “tools” that are successful in helping someone in this aspect of their spiritual lives?
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Prayer, prayer and more prayer.
Confession and Eucharist.
Avoid occassions of sin.
Avoid people, things and places that tempt you.

Meditate on holy things.
Read scripture , the lives of saints, and meditate on the sufferings of Christ.
 
richwmiller said:
Prayer, prayer and more prayer.
Confession and Eucharist.
***Avoid occassions of sin. ***
Avoid people, things and places that tempt you.

Meditate on holy things.
Read scripture , the lives of saints, and meditate on the sufferings of Christ.
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I think these that I have bolded are absolutely critical. If you can fight it at the temptation, occassion of sin level, it is much easier than when you are already at sin.
 
An understanding of why you are battling temptation and how to be aware of it is also important. A few great Catholic authors have written some amazing works, mostly based on the work of JP2 himself. One example and a great tool in itself is The Good News About Sex and Marriage by Christopher West. After giving it a read, you’ll be so excited for a chaste and holy life and the gifts God has given you. Its such an awesome book filled with beautiful explanations.
I also have a copy of this book: Every Day for Every Man: 365 Readings for Those Engaged in the Battle . It contains daily writings about the battle for sexual purity and holiness, all derived from the books in the “Every Man” series. It’s not a Catholic author but contains such basic and powerful insights and tools for the battle that its a-ok 👍 its been a wonderful tool for me, and it only takes a few minutes of your day.
And above all, prayer, confession, and the Eucharist, as said above 😃

Links:
Good News…
Every Day…
 
Also, get rid of any pornography you may have. Get rid of anything that may not technically be “pornography,” but that you look at lustfully. Don’t watch any television shows that portray women as objects.(Basically, don’t watch television.) Don’t look at any pictures of women that you may see in public. Turn your head away from any provacatively dressed woman that you may see in public. Don’t stay in touch with any ex-girlfriends. Don’t get discouraged when you slip up.
 
Seeks_God said:
All,

What would you recommend to someone who fights sexual temptation and sin on a regular basis? Are there “tools” that are successful in helping someone in this aspect of their spiritual lives?

SG
Click to expand...
Get out of bed when you wake up (don’t just lay there for awhile)

Take a cold shower

Keep a steady diet

Keep steady exercize habits

Find a social activity to get involved in

Find a good confessor

Go to confession regularly (at least every 3 weeks, I would say)

Don’t spend too much time online or in front of the TV

Develop your prayer life more

Wear a miraculous medal and/or brown scapular.

Carry a rosary with you always and develop a devotion to it.

Say the Memorare and/or the prayer to St. Michael often

Develop a devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

Do some volunteer work or something to practice giving to others

Do not get discouraged when you do fall- do not fall further, but go to confession as soon as you can- and don’t stop praying or keeping your regular devotions if you fall.

Think about the people you have objectified- about their thoughts and dreams, about their joys and sorrows and fears, about their needs and desires, about God’s love for them- and their creation in His image and likeness. Satan uses them to tempt you to fall- throw the temptation back at them, by embracing the temptation- and by recognizing it not as a temptation to sin, but as a call from God to pray for them, and pray that you and they grow in virtue.
 
There’s a lot of great advice here already but going on the theory that the more “tools” at your disposal the better, i’ll throw in a few other suggestions.

First, realize that this isn’t something you’ll have to fight on your own. Let the Holy Spirit guide you and help you fend off the temptation. Pray continuously, turning your mind toward the eternal and away from the temporal as often as you can. And don’t be discouraged when you stumble off the path, for you will, we all do, and each of us does so many times. Fortunately though the Holy Spirit is patient and forgiving, so keep fighting and the Holy Spirit will keep helping you.

Second, no matter what, no matter how diligent you are, no matter how disciplined you become, wayward thoughts are going to always try to come along and ambush you. Think of them as serpents and any time they see an opportunity they will strike.

Very well then, let them strike, but as soon as an unwanted thought or image enters your mind, acknowledge it, and then tell it to get lost. Or, as a character in a book i read recently would say to the devilish thoughts that entered his head: “get ye gone serpent, out of my mind!” It may sound trivial, but just getting into the habit of making yourself aware of unwanted thoughts as soon as they crop up and calling them out instead of letting them linger, just by doing that i’ve found it can make a big difference, for serpents like to work in darkness and shining a light on them will often send them scurrying back into the shadows.

And lastly, i also agree that a habit of exercise and healthy eating (avoiding sugars and other stimulating ingredients) can go a long way to reduce cravings. For serpents are greatly stirred to action in an agitated mind and so therefore exercise and a sensible diet will do much to calm the mind and quiet the reptilian seducers.
 
Look at the clock. Realize that in an hour the clock will have moved an hour. Once that next hour rolls around you will have either sinned or not. Think how you will feel good about yourself at that time by not giving in. In other words, if the temptation comes at 7:00, wait till 8:00. By that time, the temptation will most likely have passed, and you can look back with accomplishment. In the meantime, go clean your bathroom, and vaccuum your carpets, wash the windows, etc.

These techniques have worked for me and I’ve been free for over 2 years now.
 
Seeks_God said:
All,

What would you recommend to someone who fights sexual temptation and sin on a regular basis? Are there “tools” that are successful in helping someone in this aspect of their spiritual lives?

SG
Click to expand...
The first thing that is necessary is to (1) get rid of pornography, etc. if you still have any (2) try your hardest to avoid the occasions of sin - situations in which you often find yourself falling into sin or tempted. With this out of the way, here are other things to aid in living a pure life:

Some of the more commonly-cited ones:
  • When an impure thought comes to your mind, pray the Hail Mary or Our Father. If it persists, keep praying it. I heard this from Fr. Corapi (I think) on EWTN about 10 years ago and it’s always been very effective.
  • As for internet porn: put your computer in a public space. Keep that area clean and tidy. Place “Holy pictures” visible from where you use the computer.
  • Daily rosary with an intention for purity helps
  • Exercise. I’ve seen this cited many times. Perhaps it’s because when one exercises (in whatever way), they tend to feel better about their lives, and less worthy of sinking into impurity.
  • Keep your mind active. Find a good hobby to keep your mind occupied. Spiritual reading.
 
For men held by repeated urgings of the flesh that can have no licit outlet, consider the use of Depo Provera.
 
tvdxer said:
  • When an impure thought comes to your mind, pray the Hail Mary or Our Father. If it persists, keep praying it. I heard this from Fr. Corapi (I think) on EWTN about 10 years ago and it’s always been very effective.
Click to expand...
I’ve only recently really begun attacking my (bad) habit of masturbation, and I find this to be a very effective aid. Just rattle off Our Father’s and Hail Mary’s as fast and frequently as possible. Blur your mind with prayer, leave no room for contemplation of anything else, because those thoughts will get in otherwise. I know you should be in a period of deep and thoughtful contemplation for prayer, but I find that leaving space for openness while actively trying to deny temptation leaves a space open for temptation.
 
I guess we all have our own difficulties, but I personally am motivated by my own embarassment to never ever commit this sin so I never ever have to confess it! 😉

Are your confessions face to face?

I also believe that it is helpful to learn the reason to avoid such sin, so that you not only know it is a sin, but that you “buy into” the sinfulness of the act and the reasons it should be avoided. A good spiritual director can help you understand why this is a sin.
 
May I also recommend the Brown Scapular.

I have stuggled with such temptations in the past as well. About 5-6 months ago, I was invested in the Brown Scapular. A couple of months later, I found myself viewing images that were inappropriate and could have led to much worse. Suddenly I realized that my fingertips were resting against my scapular… almost as if our Holy Mother had drawn them there to remind me to steer clear of such temptations.
 
Prayer
Confession
Eucharist.

and Time.

Thats right, Time. As you grow older, your sexual urges will decrease and temptation will be easier to avoid.

God Bless

Jim
 
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