What was your point of no return?

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It was late at night. I was in my studio banging my head against my drawing table. I was in RCIA and going to daily mass and I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me. Converting to Catholicism was never on my to-do list. Since mass was where I was getting most of my answers at that time, I told God that the answer had better be at mass tomorrow morning. Then I thought the better of it, stepped out in faith, and told God that I knew the answer would be at mass the next morning.

The Gospel reading the next morning was the parable of the lost sheep. There was my answer, I was the 100th sheep and I could see what extraordinary lengths our Father will go through to get us back in the fold. That was my point of no return.

So, converts, reverts and cradle Catholics, what was your point of no return? When did you realize you were Catholic for life?
 
I’m a cradle catholic who experienced poor catechesis as a child, not the fault of my mother who was catholic, but because there was limited access in small town that I grew up in. I was a history major in college, at a Jesuit institution, so I learned the history of western civilization, was required to take some theology classes, so I chose the history options “Christian Tradition”, “the Medieval Church”, etc. That, along with other history classes, gave me a good basic knowledge of the history of the Catholic Church.

Seeing the movie, the Passion of the Christ, as very pivotal for me. All catholic churches have crucifixes on the alter, but none of them show the depth of the pain he suffered for us. The movie really brought it home to me.

After seeing the movie, I started reading a lot about the saints, and since I’m a movie buff, I watched any movies about them as well. Then I had a child in my 30’s and committed to raising her in the faith, but with more enthusiasm and education that I had, so we learned and grew together in our faith.

So in summary, I had no one point of no return, but rather several.
 
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Adoration at my first year of CYSC (CYSC.com)

Just realizing in a true, personal, intimate sense the presence of Christ in the Eucharist
 
tad said:
So, converts, reverts and cradle Catholics, what was your point of no return? When did you realize you were Catholic for life?
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I never un-realized it. I certainly never thought I was anything else BUT Catholic.

Getting off my lazy behind to stop sinning bigly, confess regularly, go to Mass every Sunday, and get back to praying the Rosary regularly was a different matter than just realizing what I am.

It’s like the kid who realizes he’s been blessed with a high IQ but has to get it together to go to school every day and keep up with his assignments.
 
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The mass can do incredible thing. I am a cradle Catholic. Later when I was at the cross-road to make a decision, I got it during the mass the next morning. The reading (1st reading) was as if it talked to me; my decision could never be as easier but for it.
 
Back when I first decided to convert to Catholicism from Atheism at age 13, I really didn’t know what I was going into. I didn’t start receiving any education until about a year later, so at this point everything I knew about Christianity (which was next to nothing) I learned by reading random passages from the New Testament, which was the only religious text available to me.

I had been very violent and antisocial up until this point, but I was able to calm down somewhat after deciding to convert. Still, it was very difficult for me, and I took great pleasure in any chance I got to take revenge on someone, as I thought that was justified. I would often explain to people that I lived by the words: “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth”, though I didn’t know the biblical origins of that maxim, nor did it make any sense, as I gladly took an eye for a tooth when possible.

So naturally I came across the passage where Jesus talks about the same exact phrase eventually, and I was very disturbed. I took so much pleasure in revenge that I couldn’t bear even the thought of giving that up as well, so I made the decision to ignore it, and was beginning to doubt whether I should be a Christian at all.

A short time later I came across one of the versions of Ben Hur running on television as a 3-part series, where I started on the second part. I didn’t fully catch the plot since I started at the middle, so I thought it was just some generic gladiator action-movie. Therefore, when the main character suddenly walks by Jesus talking to an audience, his opening words being the very same words that had dug into my conscience only a short time earlier, I was shocked.

I remained stubborn, however, until I started watching the third part, which began with that same scene, and all of a sudden I felt as though the full wrath of God was upon me. It was as though the room darkened and grew smaller around me, and I was terrified beyond reason. Immediately I begged God to forgive me and promised to never doubt him ever again, and agreed to give up vengeance. Since then I’ve known that this is really real, and abandoning the Faith simply wouldn’t make sense.
 
I’m a revert Catholic who lived a life of self absorbed hedonism for about 42 years.
I broke every one of the commandments, although I did not explicitly commit adultery. No boring specifics are necessary. Suffice it to say that I would be in hell if I had died. Abortion, pornography, alcohol, marijuana. Use your imagination. Or better yet, don’t.

The turning point in my journey was Dec 16 2002 at about 7pm. God gave me a grace that is hard to explain. I’ve tried to explain it to my wife and a few others over the years. What it boils down to is this:

Due to the consequences of sin, my life was full of despair. I tried many things to avoid pain and find solutions to pain. There were many fleeting strategies over the years that all ended in frustration.
On that night I simply had a life changing encounter with Christ. If I have to put it into words, they are these:

“You’ve tried many things that will never last and never help. I am the only thing you will ever need.”

A weight came off of me and an incredible sense of joy and relief came over me. I have never been the same. My wife noticed that something had happened.

This is one step in a long journey that all of us are on. I was baptized as a child and raised in the faith. Even though I rejected it, that all has a saving effect. A homily on the Divine Mercy helped trigger this also. Many things contribute to our faith and bring us to where we are. And even though I have never stopped following Christ, many of you know that this is just turning points, not the destination. As the layers of sin peel back, many challenges come to the fore.

Jesus Christ lives.
 
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My wife, kids and I were moving across country for a new job. I was a Buddhist most of my adult life. For the last few weeks before the move, I had been in several deep conversations about Christianity with a Methodist friend of mine at work who was going through a pretty comprehensive bible study. In the beginning I was promoting Buddhism to him, and aspects of the four noble truths and the eightfold path to enlightenment to various Christian ideas and doctrines. But of course, the more I listened to him, the more the Holy Spirit began working in my heart and mind. I began to focus on Jesus vs. Amitabah Buddha during my chant. My chant gave way to contemplation and meditative prayer. Well…moving vans came and took our household goods. I sent the family on ahead by air to our new home, and I loaded up a car with what was left, and our cats, and headed out for the West Coast, taking it easy, and spending several days getting out there to be kind to the cats, and gentle to my back. On the first day of the trip, I felt moved while in a trucks stop convenience store to buy the audio book of Scott Hahn’s “The Lamb’s Supper” which purported to be a study on book of Revelation. Well it was…kind of of…but so much more. It opened up my heart and mind to the idea of the Catholic Mass, and really focused in a strong way on the sacrament of Eucharist, and how the mass was the book of Revelation made present right in our sight and hearing.

I was deeply moved. The Holy Spirit was working on me hard. I listened to that book continuously for several days. By the time I got to my destination and met back up with the family, I couldn’t wait to get to a Catholic mass. I was driven. Almost obsessed with the mass. I went the very first Sunday that we lived in our new city. We were still living in a hotel. I started attending mass whenever I could. On one of those occasions, not too far into my conversion experience, when the priest elevated the consecrated host and said “Behold the Lamb of God. Behold He who takes away the sin of the world”, I broke down into tears. I knew that my life would never be the same that moment. I worked on my wife until she came to mass with me. She had a similar experience. We both enrolled in RCIA (she having previously been atheist), and were brought into communion with the Holy Catholic Church on the Easter vigil of 2006. We’ve never looked back. I can’t believe that the person who inhabited my body for 50 years prior was even me. I died to my former self, and am now a new creation. Since then my daughter and my mother-in-law have come into the Church as well. I can’t imagine ever living without God’s sanctifying grace in the sacraments. Particularly Reconciliation and Eucharist. Thanks be to God forever.

Peace to all,
Steve
 
I didn’t know it then, but I think my commitment came at around age 3 or 4. I was in a child’s bed in my grandparents’ bedroom, so literally a “cradle” Catholic. Two younger siblings presumably slept in my parents’ room. I remember Mom talking about Jesus and it was very real to me. Every advance in my faith resonates against that initial encounter.
 
Cradle Catholic here and was well trained. I fell away in college, however, although occasionally when I felt like it I’d show up for Sunday Mass. At one point, tired of being a hypocrite, I challenged myself to either quit completely or start to take the Mass seriously–that is, relearn what was happening in each part and why. I ended up firmly committed and, as a daily Mass go-er, can’t imagine my life without the Eucharist. It is true food indeed.
The Rosary has also been instrumental in my life. Mary has brought me much closer to Jesus (just like they said she would!)
 
I was Catholic for life when I was orphaned / abandoned, and at the very first orphanage, there was a picture of Jesus and His Sacred Heart … all the other kids went out to play, but for some reason, I had to stay and wander in the house, maybe curiosity, but then in the living room, was a picture of Christ on the wall, I just stood there, captured, enthralled, remember to this day … it would take 40 years for me to understand what that meant, but that was when Jesus said to me “I got you kid”
 
My point of no return was a week after returning to the faith. God and the Holy Spirit showed me the answers I needed to know. I recognized that all along, those pesky Catholics were right. I realized that this is what I was going to be doing for the rest of my life, and I felt warm, happy, and at peace.

I enjoyed that feeling for the rest of the evening, because I knew that the next day, the real work was about to begin. I had a new way of life to learn and experience. It has been a great ride, and it keeps getting better.

I wish the entire world knew this reality.
 
When my mother got sick. I hadn’t been practicing in years and years, but my first instinct was to turn to the Church.
 
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After the peak experience, I began to read and think and pursue Christ. Or the idea of him anyway. The encounter I had was so overpowering and joyful that I was always trying to recapture it, and to live in that moment. But Christ threw me outward. That was challenging for me because the focus of my live was always inward. Pleasure. Good experiences. Gradually, Christ has directed my heart outward.

I remember sitting in my truck one afternoon after work, not long after this encounter. My work is about 2 miles from home, and I drive by a nursing home every day of my life. For some reason, I actually noticed this nursing home. And it was on my heart to stop and visit, but I resisted it with all my effort. The smell of urine, the drooling, the incoherent old people. What the hell would I do in a nursing home?

So this is bothering me at this time. Actually it became an imperative that was causing some agony. I know I want to follow Christ, and I want that feeling back. And it just slips out of my hands. I can’t re-grasp that moment.
And I’m sitting there in my truck after work, and it’s like the world comes to a stop right there.

And this comes: “you will not drive past my people one more time. You will not have peace until you stop and visit my people”.
There were no words of course, but that’s the reality of it.
And that was it. I parked my truck at the home and walked in with no idea what to do. Shaking out of fear.
And at the door was a woman in a wheelchair who saw me, and reached out her hand, not to shake my hand hello, but reached out to me with desperation. As in I haven’t been touched in a couple years, please take my hand.
And so I did. And those seemingly helpless people changed my life in a powerful way. I just can;t describe it. I thought I had to go in there and do something. All that is needed is to be there, to hold a hand and enter their suffering for a while. That was also a huge turning point.

Jesus Christ lives.
 
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tad said:
So, converts, reverts and cradle Catholics, what was your point of no return? When did you realize you were Catholic for life?
Click to expand...
You know, you can’t be too presumptuous about this, I’ve seen great Catholics fall away…very sad.

But on the other hand…I can’t remember any one “point of no return” throughout my life there have been many times when I stop and think “I can’t imagine what I would do if I weren’t Catholic.”
We should thank God every day for out Faith, and pray for the conversion of others.
 
I have not yet realized that I am Catholic for life. I started out as a Jehovah’s Witness 22 years, protestant another 20 or so, spent a few as an agnostic and finally came into the church via Orthodoxy.

I am sad that there is not a healthy Orthodox church near bye and am worshiping at a local Catholic church.

I am absolutely behind the way that God is worshiped, I do struggle with some of the tenants of the church and disagree deeply with a few.

I wish there was an Orthodox church in my area.

I also find that the Catholic church is woefully missing in community bonding, people do there own thing and have no seeming interest in getting to know newer members. I have put myself out to help with serving others in some of the groups and have been told, thank you but no thank you.
 
Thank you every one for your powerful testimonies! I shouldn’t be surprised, but I admit I am. Two things stick out in this thread. One is how God will come to meet us where we are and knows each of us and cares for each us personally. The second thing is how we all ended up in the same place. One thing that fascinates me about conversion stories is that I can see little bits of my own in each of them. Conversion is individual and corporate at the same time. Beautiful!
 
Wow! What a picture you drew with your words! Fantastic! And welcome home, BTW!
 
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