What we've got here is failure to communicate

[Casilda]

Coming home? Reverting? What’s the process? You ask 10 people, you get 10 answers. None of them the right one. This can take years. This can take decades.

Okay. I’ve got my letter written out to Pope Francis and a cc to our bishop. Sorry I have to go over his head. (You want me to try and get an appointment with him?!? In this lifetime!?!) Today I am having an interview at my sixth parish with a deacon who says he works one on one with people like me that fall through the cracks, trying to come back to the church. I thought my first interview with a priest went well at the fifth parish I tried, but at the 2nd interview it was like starting over again, he did not remember me at all, as if it didn’t even happen. I know, I know, I don’t blame him, he’s got like 2500 other faces he sees every week. He did get us in contact with a deacon, but so far in two weeks we have one response to a call, one email and then left hanging. I feel SO LOST. Yes, only prayer is getting me through my day, its what has always gotten me through my days. Starting to doubt if I should really keep struggling with this. If a priest had returned my calls as a teen 36yrs ago I could have avoided all this struggle. I have asked God, why, SO MANY times I am just numb. I am starting to hate my parents again for leaving the church and forbidding me from ever going back and now I feel I am starting to hate the church for not letting me back in. There are gate keepers there who are satan’s tools. I am growing weary fighting them at every parish.

My back up for today’s meeting is contacting a Legion of Mary group tomorrow.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Communication goes both ways and I’m not clear from your message what it is you want. What do you want a priest, deacon, bishop, or the Pope himself to do? What is your question that has not been answered?

 

[CB_Catholic]

Coming home? Reverting? What’s the process? You ask 10 people, you get 10 answers. None of them the right one. This can take years. This can take decades.

Okay. I’ve got my letter written out to Pope Francis and a cc to our bishop. Sorry I have to go over his head. (You want me to try and get an appointment with him?!? In this lifetime!?!) Today I am having an interview at my sixth parish with a deacon who says he works one on one with people like me that fall through the cracks, trying to come back to the church. I thought my first interview with a priest went well at the fifth parish I tried, but at the 2nd interview it was like starting over again, he did not remember me at all, as if it didn’t even happen. I know, I know, I don’t blame him, he’s got like 2500 other faces he sees every week. He did get us in contact with a deacon, but so far in two weeks we have one response to a call, one email and then left hanging. I feel SO LOST. Yes, only prayer is getting me through my day, its what has always gotten me through my days. Starting to doubt if I should really keep struggling with this. If a priest had returned my calls as a teen 36yrs ago I could have avoided all this struggle. I have asked God, why, SO MANY times I am just numb. I am starting to hate my parents again for leaving the church and forbidding me from ever going back and now I feel I am starting to hate the church for not letting me back in. There are gate keepers there who are satan’s tools. I am growing weary fighting them at every parish.

My back up for today’s meeting is contacting a Legion of Mary group tomorrow.

I haven’t followed your story, so may I ask why you can’t just go to Confession and then continue on your life as a Catholic? Are you not baptized?

 

[Corki]

Coming home? Reverting? What’s the process? You ask 10 people, you get 10 answers. None of them the right one. This can take years. This can take decades.

Okay. I’ve got my letter written out to Pope Francis and a cc to our bishop. Sorry I have to go over his head. (You want me to try and get an appointment with him?!? In this lifetime!?!) Today I am having an interview at my sixth parish with a deacon who says he works one on one with people like me that fall through the cracks, trying to come back to the church. I thought my first interview with a priest went well at the fifth parish I tried, but at the 2nd interview it was like starting over again, he did not remember me at all, as if it didn’t even happen. I know, I know, I don’t blame him, he’s got like 2500 other faces he sees every week. He did get us in contact with a deacon, but so far in two weeks we have one response to a call, one email and then left hanging. I feel SO LOST. Yes, only prayer is getting me through my day, its what has always gotten me through my days. Starting to doubt if I should really keep struggling with this. If a priest had returned my calls as a teen 36yrs ago I could have avoided all this struggle. I have asked God, why, SO MANY times I am just numb. I am starting to hate my parents again for leaving the church and forbidding me from ever going back and now I feel I am starting to hate the church for not letting me back in. There are gate keepers there who are satan’s tools. I am growing weary fighting them at every parish.

My back up for today’s meeting is contacting a Legion of Mary group tomorrow.

I haven’t followed your story, so may I ask why you can’t just go to Confession and then continue on your life as a Catholic? Are you not baptized?

I did look up the OP’s former threads.

Casilda,

It looks like you have already made your first Communion and First Confession as a child. All you really need to come back to the Church is to go to Confession. If you still need Confirmation, you can do that at a later time - no need to wait for it. Many diocese do Adult Confirmation as a co-ordinated program rather than through the parish.

It’s great that you want to have some more formal Religious Education but don’t let that stop you. There are even online courses you can take for that such as catechismclass.com

 

[ccmcmg]

The OP also has a marriage issue, if I remember correctly. But I did see one other thing:

Well, things are rolling along at last. Priest says I should be able to be communing by Easter Vigil, my husband will have to wait until he finishes RCIA, so next year. You have to be persistent, you have to find the right priest, you have to pray, you HAVE TO PRAY, did I mention you have to PRAY. He encouraged us both to start attending our home parish, but he would get us started getting our receptions into the church and our marriage validated.

I think the letter to the Pope is concerning the number of priests?

God bless you in your return…

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

The OP also has a marriage issue, if I remember correctly.

And the message you quote mentions a convalidation. So what happens when the OP calls the parish to say “I need to make an appointment with Fr. X to plan my wedding”? That seems like it should be pretty straightforward.

 

[Casilda]

I want to go up for communion. I can be with Christ at adoration, but when I leave church, I feel lost and empty.

I have stopped going to daily mass, it is very depressing now. I left in tears. I only go to mass now if my husband can go with me, because I can no longer drive safely. I really die a little each Sunday. I am not ignored by God, but by His church.

 

[clem456]

I want to go up for communion. I can be with Christ at adoration, but when I leave church, I feel lost and empty.

I have stopped going to daily mass, it is very depressing now. I left in tears. I only go to mass now if my husband can go with me, because I can no longer drive safely. I really die a little each Sunday. I am not ignored by God, but by His church.

have you gone to confession?

 

[robwar]

Coming home? Reverting? What’s the process? You ask 10 people, you get 10 answers. None of them the right one. This can take years. This can take decades.

Okay. I’ve got my letter written out to Pope Francis and a cc to our bishop. Sorry I have to go over his head. (You want me to try and get an appointment with him?!? In this lifetime!?!) Today I am having an interview at my sixth parish with a deacon who says he works one on one with people like me that fall through the cracks, trying to come back to the church. I thought my first interview with a priest went well at the fifth parish I tried, but at the 2nd interview it was like starting over again, he did not remember me at all, as if it didn’t even happen. I know, I know, I don’t blame him, he’s got like 2500 other faces he sees every week. He did get us in contact with a deacon, but so far in two weeks we have one response to a call, one email and then left hanging. I feel SO LOST. Yes, only prayer is getting me through my day, its what has always gotten me through my days. Starting to doubt if I should really keep struggling with this. If a priest had returned my calls as a teen 36yrs ago I could have avoided all this struggle. I have asked God, why, SO MANY times I am just numb. I am starting to hate my parents again for leaving the church and forbidding me from ever going back and now I feel I am starting to hate the church for not letting me back in. There are gate keepers there who are satan’s tools. I am growing weary fighting them at every parish.

My back up for today’s meeting is contacting a Legion of Mary group tomorrow.

I am sorry about your frustrations and even though I looked at a few of your posts I am trying to get your story strait. You were baptized and did receive first communion. For whatever reason, you family left the Church later, you are still upset that some priest didn’t return a phone call 36 years ago. Likewise you are now married to a non-Catholic (first for both of you). He needs to go through RCIA and you are trying to get your marriage convoluted and are now frustrated that the deacon hasn’t returned your either calls or email or gotten you the info to continue. Now is all this correct? Has any of the priests or deacons that you have met with told you that you can’t just go to confession and then receive communion to at least get you back into going to Mass to receive? It sadly seems like there are a number of miscommunication step as well as maybe some (name removed by moderator)atients on you part (not trying to criticize but help you) when you either call or email different priests or deacons. Since you have been assigned this deacon, I think you should try again to meet face to face in an appointment to get the needed info on the re-marriage prep class. Sending out emails to different priests that maybe don’t know you or your situation isn’t going to get you anywhere but more frustration. While deacons are official ministers, many of them also have regular jobs during the week and are busy and maybe that is what happen here. The best thing for you is try and make this work out, make appointments to meet with people, don’t just rely on emails to do it for you since they can too easily be ignored especially if they are deemed as nasty or angry. Let go of the priest that didn’t call 36 years ago, take a deep breath and realize that many are praying for you to work this out and have patient to do so.

 

[pianistclare]

Be at peace dear one. Welcome home. Believe it or not, The One who called you by name in the first place, has been awaiting your return.
Take this in and breathe.

Next, when you have a peaceful moment, resolve to go to confession. Don’t worry if you might have forgotten the formula or the prayer, print out the Act of Contrition and take it with you (they might even have a copy in the confessional, but best to be prepared).
Priests get people who have been away from Confession for years all the time. You’ll do great.
Then next time you are Mass, receive Christ in the Eucharist and rejoice!

Ask your husband is he wants to do RCIA. If so, go with him when the classes begin.
As part of the process for HIM, the RCIA leaders and team must investigate what you all need according to your particular situation, and they will take the steps to get everything rolling to have your marriage blessed, while instructing you as a couple in the faith. He will need someone other than you to sponsor him, but don’t worry about that just yet.

In the meantime…stick with a parish you like, trust in the people that are assigned to you. Meet face to face as often as prudent, and know that in parishes it’s someone’s JOB to shepherd you in the process.

I’ll pray for you. The Holy Spirit has had you well in hand apparently for years. Don’t let anyone make you think that He has abandoned you at this juncture!

Peace,
Clare

 

[corsair]

My suggestion is to make an appointment with a priest and get straight answers. My experience is that there are thousands of “opinions” and darn few correct ones. (particularly on the internet).

 

[Modern_Revert]

You may be trying to do too much too fast in order to make up for lost time.
Find a parish you like and start going to Mass.
Maybe just on Sundays at first?

As a revert, I’ve discovered:
The Journey is the Destination.

 

[Aramis]

Based upon the above posts…
There seems to be an invalid marriage issue - which, until it’s resolved, is impediment to communion.

Casilda:
Be patient. That emptiness when you leave is probably God reminding you that you’re not done coming home yet.

To put it in parable, think of the Prodigal son, standing unkempt, in rags, outside of town. He starts into town, and feels the emptiness of his relationship weighing upon him… that emptiness could lead to despair, or, as in the parable, proceeding on to his father’s house. But even once he gets there, his father doesn’t put a bowl in front of him first - he calls for clean clothes, a bath, jewelry. And to make a feast for shortly thereafter.

You’re not yet to the feast, but can see it’s being set up. Do not despair now. God’s reminding you how good it will be.

The feelings of despair are not from that call to closeness… they’re ol’ Scratch trying to turn you away while the water’s being drawn and the calf roasted.

 

[PJM]

=Casilda;11697499]Coming home? Reverting? What’s the process? You ask 10 people, you get 10 answers. None of them the right one. This can take years. This can take decades.

Okay. I’ve got my letter written out to Pope Francis and a cc to our bishop. Sorry I have to go over his head. (You want me to try and get an appointment with him?!? In this lifetime!?!) Today I am having an interview at my sixth parish with a deacon who says he works one on one with people like me that fall through the cracks, trying to come back to the church. I thought my first interview with a priest went well at the fifth parish I tried, but at the 2nd interview it was like starting over again, he did not remember me at all, as if it didn’t even happen. I know, I know, I don’t blame him, he’s got like 2500 other faces he sees every week. He did get us in contact with a deacon, but so far in two weeks we have one response to a call, one email and then left hanging. I feel SO LOST. Yes, only prayer is getting me through my day, its what has always gotten me through my days. Starting to doubt if I should really keep struggling with this. If a priest had returned my calls as a teen 36yrs ago I could have avoided all this struggle. I have asked God, why, SO MANY times I am just numb. I am starting to hate my parents again for leaving the church and forbidding me from ever going back and now I feel I am starting to hate the church for not letting me back in. There are gate keepers there who are satan’s tools. I am growing weary fighting them at every parish.

My back up for today’s meeting is contacting a Legion of Mary group tomorrow.

Why do I have a feeling that we are missing “The REST of your story?”

Coming back seems to me is as simple as Going to Sacramental Confession; and then resuming, an informed and fully practicing Catholics life.

Unless there is marriage issue to be resolved or a lack of true repentance?

Or some other impediment?

 

[ahs]

I want to go up for communion. I can be with Christ at adoration, but when I leave church, I feel lost and empty.

I have stopped going to daily mass, it is very depressing now. I left in tears. I only go to mass now if my husband can go with me, because I can no longer drive safely. I really die a little each Sunday. I am not ignored by God, but by His church.

I don’t think it’s really fair to say the Church is ignoring you, do you? I mean, was it the Church that forbade you from going to a Catholic Mass when you were young? No, it was your parents, as you say above. Was it the Church that kept you away from Mass as you grew older? No, that was a choice that you made, for whatever reason. Did the Church make you get married outside the Church, thus making it now necessary to have the Marriage convalidated? No, that was a choice that you made.

Don’t blame the Church because you have to suffer the consequences of your choices. Just trust in God and let God know that **He is worth waiting for **by working through this, no matter what it takes.

 

[Aramis]

Why do I have a feeling that we are missing “The REST of your story?”

Coming back seems to me is as simple as Going to Sacramental Confession; and then resuming, an informed and fully practicing Catholics life.

Unless there is marriage issue to be resolved or a lack of true repentance?

Or some other impediment?

Any marriage-status issue, including civil marriage to one who is unbaptized, is a bar to communing, unless one is living as a celibate, and even then, to avoid scandal, the usual is to have separation of bed and table.

Likewise, certain other issues may require a specific penance to be completed before absolution may be given - and most of these are reserved to either the Bishop or to Rome. If they exist, they are between the penitent, the relevant clerics, and God, and we shouldn’t inquire.

 

[robwar]

I don’t think it’s really fair to say the Church is ignoring you, do you? I mean, was it the Church that forbade you from going to a Catholic Mass when you were young? No, it was your parents, as you say above. Was it the Church that kept you away from Mass as you grew older? No, that was a choice that you made, for whatever reason. Did the Church make you get married outside the Church, thus making it now necessary to have the Marriage convalidated? No, that was a choice that you made.

Don’t blame the Church because you have to suffer the consequences of your choices. Just trust in God and let God know that **He is worth waiting for **by working through this, no matter what it takes.

agree

 

[Casilda]

Next, when you have a peaceful moment, resolve to go to confession. Don’t worry if you might have forgotten the formula or the prayer, print out the Act of Contrition and take it with you (they might even have a copy in the confessional, but best to be prepared).
Priests get people who have been away from Confession for years all the time. You’ll do great.
Then next time you are Mass, receive Christ in the Eucharist and rejoice!

I tried this. Except I prayed to Mary while on the way. The priest seemed rushed told me this wasn’t a confession and to make an appt. I told him I tried that and was told to just go during hours. There was no one else who came to confession. I stayed in church awhile praying, then left when the prayer service started. I felt like an outcast. Is this Christ’s Church?

 

[pianistclare]

then what was going on at the church? Was it a prayer service? A Mass? A Baptism, what?
And what has praying with (not to) Mary got to do with it? Are you thinking she somehow "failed " you?
If you didn’t go specifically during confession hours, why not?
Your last post is confusing, sorry.

 

[Casilda]

then what was going on at the church? Was it a prayer service? A Mass? A Baptism, what?
And what has praying with (not to) Mary got to do with it? Are you thinking she somehow "failed " you?
If you didn’t go specifically during confession hours, why not?
Your last post is confusing, sorry.

Sorry about sounding confused, I really didn’t sleep last night. I called the church office to make an appt for confession since it has been a very long time and that I needed to speak with a priest about the state of mortal sin that I am in. They told me to just go during regular confession hours. So after trying to be in a peaceful state, praying in front of Mary for mercies and grace, I was relieved to see no one else there for confession. Yet I felt rushed. I was told that I couldn’t make a confession now, I had to make an appt. Next week would not work, maybe the week after. So I stayed in the church, praying. The priest wasn’t busy. The 45 minute time slot for confessions came and went and no one else showed up. Then a prayer service, a benediction started. As I was at the opposite side of the church, in the back, it made me feel very alone. The priest didn’t have time to listen to me, and my prayers went in answered.