What Will I Tell My Gay Friends? (An account of the dilemma a woman becoming Catholic faced)

[mdgspencer]

She had never seen anything wrong with being gay, she explains in her account of this side of her conversion. In fact she had many friends and acquaintences who were living a gay lifestyle who didn’t seem to be doing anything all that different from heterosexual couples she knew. Nevertheless, then she explains her coming to terms with the Catholic view of gay sex.
www.conversiondiary.com/2007/08/what-will-i-tell-my-gay-friends.html

 

[stephe1987]

Treat them with kindness and respect. They will probably be shocked when they hear you are Christian and actually respect them as human beings. Most of them are brainwashed by the media stereotypes of Christians going psycho when faced with a gay person. Be kind and compassionate, and share your views if they ask, for they will ask when they are ready and they are not ready before they ask.

Treat them the same way you would treat a smoker, for the gay lifestyle actually has worse health effects than smoking. The average gay person has 5-10 years shorter life span than the average smoker. Instead of lung cancer, gays get anal and other nasty forms of cancer that do not respond well to treatment. Like smoking, being gay is very addictive. Many people have left homosexuality, and many others never do. Do not shove your views down their throats, but be open if you’re asked your opinion.

 

[Adam1986]

Treat them with kindness and respect. They will probably be shocked when they hear you are Christian and actually respect them as human beings. Most of them are brainwashed by the media stereotypes of Christians going psycho when faced with a gay person.
That’s not completely true. Sure SOME gay people are brainwashed; but not all or even most.

Be kind and compassionate, and share your views if they ask, for they will ask when they are ready and they are not ready before they ask.

Treat them the same way you would treat a smoker, for the gay lifestyle actually has worse health effects than smoking. The average gay person has 5-10 years shorter life span than the average smoker. Instead of lung cancer, gays get anal and other nasty forms of cancer that do not respond well to treatment.
What other forms of cancer besides anal?
Like smoking, being gay is very addictive.
Being gay is not a habit. You don’t just pick up the “habit” of being gay; you are BORN THAT WAY.
Many people have left homosexuality, and many others never do.

No one leaves homosexuality. There is no “cure” for it. You are born that way and that’s it. Now some people have decided to become chaste, but that’s not leaving homosexuality. It’s not something that you can choose. It’s how God made you.

 

[Newbie2]

Um…

There’s not definitive “proof” that either people are “born gay” or not. I’m not saying that isn’t the case with some, but there are no doubt those who are confused about their sexual orientation, get under the wrong influence, and “try out” the “gay lifestyle”.

So…yes, people can choose leave the homosexual lifestyle i.e. cease to participate in homosexual activity. Does that mean their attraction to those of the same sex goes away? Maybe, maybe not. My guess in most cases, not; it’s something that most will struggle with lifelong.

I think that’s a better way to look at it than “they’re all born gay” and “they can or can’t be cured” and so forth.

 

[qui_est_ce]

Um…

So…yes, people can choose leave the homosexual lifestyle i.e. cease to participate in homosexual activity. Does that mean their attraction to those of the same sex goes away? Maybe, maybe not. My guess in most cases, not; it’s something that most will struggle with lifelong.

I think that’s a better way to look at it than “they’re all born gay” and “they can or can’t be cured” and so forth.

Well, my attraction for the opposite sex hasn’t gone away. But I have chosen not to participate in the heterosexual lifestyle.

 

[Newbie2]

Well, my attraction for the opposite sex hasn’t gone away. But I have chosen not to participate in the heterosexual lifestyle.

 

[LCMS_No_More]

No one leaves homosexuality. There is no “cure” for it. You are born that way and that’s it. Now some people have decided to become chaste, but that’s not leaving homosexuality. It’s not something that you can choose. It’s how God made you.

I don’t believe this. No one is “born homosexual,” people “turn out homosexual.” The only inborn trait that leads to homosexuality, I would say, is a sensitive temperament. Aside from that, I’d say the rest is environmental. It certainly tracks in my case.

 

[LCMS_No_More]

Well, my attraction for the opposite sex hasn’t gone away. But I have chosen not to participate in the heterosexual lifestyle.

Rub it in.

 

[qui_est_ce]

Rub it in.

It was a joke! You know me better than that. I know you are CHOOSING to remain chaste, so am I. Some people think you need to act on all your desires in order to be “equal.”

 

[mark_a]

Overall, a pretty good brief explanation of the Catholic teaching that sex is for bonding and procreation between one man and one woman married to each other.

 

[BubbaGump]

No one leaves homosexuality. There is no “cure” for it. You are born that way and that’s it. Now some people have decided to become chaste, but that’s not leaving homosexuality. It’s not something that you can choose. It’s how God made you.

The evidence of that is inconclusive at best. In some cases it’s habitualized behavior.

Regardless, the homosexual is called to a vocation of celibacy. Sex outside a marriage is objectively sinful, regardless of orientation. The marital act must be open to life…procreative AND unitive.

If you disagree with that, the you can not call yourself a Christian.

Gay is a social political statement…a lifestyle. Gay is the perversion of a once useful word meaning happy, or exuberantly joyful. The rates of drug abuse, ANd alcoholism tell me homosexuality is anything but “gay”

 

[havana1]

The evidence of that is inconclusive at best. In some cases it’s habitualized behavior.

Regardless, the homosexual is called to a vocation of celibacy. Sex outside a marriage is objectively sinful, regardless of orientation. The marital act must be open to life…procreative AND unitive.

If you disagree with that, the you can not call yourself a Christian.

Gay is a social political statement…a lifestyle. Gay is the perversion of a once useful word meaning happy, or exuberantly joyful. The rates of drug abuse, ANd alcoholism tell me homosexuality is anything but “gay”

There’s no such thing as “ex-gay.” If someone is “ex-gay,” they were never gay to begin with. And, furthermore, there’s no PONTIFICAL source of the phrase ‘same-sex attraction’ - the phrase SSA doesn’t even appear anywhere in the Catechism - except for in the CAF forums where it has inexplicably found credibility. (Despite not being Catholic doctrine.) And, why don’t LESBIANS have skyrocketing disease rates? Is it safer to be a lesbian? Nobody ever wants to talk about why lesbians are more ‘disease-free’ than most heteros.

 

[havana1]

No one leaves homosexuality. There is no “cure” for it. You are born that way and that’s it. Now some people have decided to become chaste, but that’s not leaving homosexuality. It’s not something that you can choose. It’s how God made you.

That’s correct. There’s nothing in the Catechism that teaches you can be “ex-gay” or be “cured” of it. Anyone who insists otherwise needs to brush up on the Catechism, because ‘pray the gay away’ isn’t proper Catholic teaching. The notion of “ex-gay” is a result of bad catechesis.

 

[Adam1986]

Um…

There’s not definitive “proof” that either people are “born gay” or not. I’m not saying that isn’t the case with some, but there are no doubt those who are confused about their sexual orientation, get under the wrong influence, and “try out” the “gay lifestyle”.
And if they’re confused it’s because they have feelings for someone of the same sex. They have those feelings because they were born that way.

So…yes, people can choose leave the homosexual lifestyle i.e. cease to participate in homosexual activity. Does that mean their attraction to those of the same sex goes away? Maybe, maybe not. My guess in most cases, not; it’s something that most will struggle with lifelong.

That’s true. Those feelings never go away. Just like a person who’d straight does not have those feelings go away if they choose to live chaste.

 

[Adam1986]

The evidence of that is inconclusive at best. In some cases it’s habitualized behavior.
Please point me to the cases where someone is made gay. What kind of habitualized behavior makes people gay?

Regardless, the homosexual is called to a vocation of celibacy. Sex outside a marriage is objectively sinful, regardless of orientation. The marital act must be open to life…procreative AND unitive.

If you disagree with that, the you can not call yourself a Christian.
Well, I disagree and still call myself Catholic as do many other Catholics gay AND straight. But that’s not what this thread is about though.

Gay is a social political statement…a lifestyle. Gay is the perversion of a once useful word meaning happy, or exuberantly joyful. The rates of drug abuse, ANd alcoholism tell me homosexuality is anything but “gay”

No, gay means being attracted to someone of the same sex. It doesn’t mean that you are having sex.

 

[qui_est_ce]

There’s no such thing as “ex-gay.” If someone is “ex-gay,” they were never gay to begin with. And, furthermore, there’s no PONTIFICAL source of the phrase ‘same-sex attraction’ - the phrase SSA doesn’t even appear anywhere in the Catechism - except for in the CAF forums where it has inexplicably found credibility. (Despite not being Catholic doctrine.) And, why don’t LESBIANS have skyrocketing disease rates? Is it safer to be a lesbian? Nobody ever wants to talk about why lesbians are more ‘disease-free’ than most heteros.

Adam-
The problem with “gay” people is that they define themselves by their sexual orientation.

There is plenty of anecdotal evidence that there are people who have left the gay lifestyle.

Regarding the use of SSA, there are posters here who have used that term to describe themselves. That’s where we get it.

As for lesbians, as for all homosexual activity it’s wrong. It’s wrong even if you don’t get diseases from it. Sin is a disease of the soul.

Just because it’s not in the Catechism doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

 

[LCMS_No_More]

Regardless, the homosexual is called to a vocation of celibacy.

False. All Christians are called to live the VIRTUE of chastity according to their state in life. For priests and religious, that means celibacy. For marrieds that means sexual relations which are unitive and open to procreation. For singles, it means continence.

Celibacy is not a vocation, it is part of how priests and religious live out their vocation, which is to be a priest or religious. Married people have a vocation to family life. Single people have various vocations, but finding out what this is incredibly difficult to discern as it’s not priesthood or religious life and it’s not family life…what to do…what to do?

 

[LCMS_No_More]

That’s correct. There’s nothing in the Catechism that teaches you can be “ex-gay” or be “cured” of it. Anyone who insists otherwise needs to brush up on the Catechism, because ‘pray the gay away’ isn’t proper Catholic teaching. The notion of “ex-gay” is a result of bad catechesis.

This is false. The Church is very limited on what it says about homosexuality. You might want to brush up on it again?

I see homosexuality as one of the flaws that must be removed before one can enter heaven. One can work through their issues here in this life or in purgatory.

 

[havana1]

Adam-
The problem with “gay” people is that they define themselves by their sexual orientation.

There is plenty of anecdotal evidence that there are people who have left the gay lifestyle.

Regarding the use of SSA, there are posters here who have used that term to describe themselves. That’s where we get it.

As for lesbians, as for all homosexual activity it’s wrong. It’s wrong even if you don’t get diseases from it. Sin is a disease of the soul.

Just because it’s not in the Catechism doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

I’m not Adam. There is plenty of “anecdotal evidence” (if such a thing exists) of people who have stopped BEHAVIORS and made proclamations that they stopped certain BEHAVIORS. There is no evidence that celibate homosexuals can magically become straight. If the homosexual is celibate and there’s no sinful behavior, then by what measure can someone declare “ex-gay”? Evaluating one’s orientation, or disorientation as the case may be, by behavior alone…that doesn’t make much sense. There’s no such thing as “ex-gay.” You’re either born gay, or you’re born straight. Two words: Serenity Prayer.

 

[yellowbird]

I’m not Adam. There is plenty of “anecdotal evidence” (if such a thing exists) of people who have stopped BEHAVIORS and made proclamations that they stopped certain BEHAVIORS. There is no evidence that celibate homosexuals can magically become straight. If the homosexual is celibate and there’s no sinful behavior, then by what measure can someone declare “ex-gay”? Evaluating one’s orientation, or disorientation as the case may be, by behavior alone…that doesn’t make much sense. There’s no such thing as “ex-gay.” You’re either born gay, or you’re born straight. Two words: Serenity Prayer.

I agree with you.