What would you do in a situation like this?

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ellam25

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Hi everyone, so my cousin and his wife moved into an apartment that doesn’t take cats, but they have one. Long story short, they got caught, asked if we’d take the cat until they found a different place and I said yes because I wanted to help them out. Anyway, the cat completely demolished our blinds, they’re bent up and broken. Our landlord told us it was ok to keep the cat temporarily but now we need to fix the blinds, as we will be moving out (hopefully asap) for my husbands job. My cousin took back the cat a month ago, said he’d fix the blinds, and now never contacts me and dodges my phone calls. We watched their cat for free, and they’re acting like we’re being jerks by wanting them to replace the blinds that their cat ruined. I am so annoyed and don’t know what to do! I know not to ever do them a favor again, but in the meantime blinds aren’t super cheap to replace and it shouldn’t be our problem right? Especially since we were watching the cat for them as a favor? :mad:
 
If I had to have the money urgently, because I couldn’t afford to replace the blinds and had to have it done to move or something, I’d call my aunt and uncle and tell them I really need to get in touch with my cousin and keep missing him. I would hold off and telling them why at first.

If I couldn’t afford to eat the expense but could afford to wait, I’d let it go for a little while. I’d save the receipt and contact them about the expense in a month or two.

If the cousin kept dodging for six months or if the money situation became too urgent to wait more than two weeks longer, then sure, I’d tell the rest of their family about it. I would not take them to small-claims court, so I’d be stuck with family-pressure court.

If I could just eat the expense, I’d just eat it. I’d save the receipt in the hopes I could get repaid, but it pays dividends in families to put the family ahead of the money headaches they cause you.

I would not be a sitter for anyone else’s pet again. I’d say after one guest pet destroyed my home, I had made it a policy to only help out with pet-care at the pet owner’s home. Sorry, no “my pet isn’t like that” exceptions.
 
They absolutely should replace the blinds…however, the landlord is the one that entrusted the blinds TO YOU, and they are “his” blinds, and you are the one that signed a rental agreement with him that agreed to care appropriately for his property. When you took the cat into your own apartment, any damage the cat caused to said apartment is truly your legal responsibility. I would replace them ASAP, because that responsibility is your responsibility to your landlord, and then attempt to collect the money I spent on them from the cousin, which then in turn is his responsibility to you. Whether or not he honors his responsibility should not impact your duty to honor your landlord’s property to which you were entrusted.

That said, you cousin is treating you badly, and that is a shame, I would be very angry, too. But your landlord should not need to be a part of that interaction.
 
I agree strongly with the previous two posters. It’s a bad situation for you, and one not entirely of your own making, but yes, you are legally and morally responsible for the blinds in that they were entrusted to you.

Were I you, I’d either pay the landlord now or, if you can’t afford the full amount, arrange a payment plan with him, and then, in contacting the cousin, offer him a payment plan, too. It’s possible that the total amount is so intimidating to him that he can’t see how to handle it–I’d be shocked if it was much less than $500. You might suggest, if your finances can handle it, that he pay $25 or $50 per month until the debt’s gone (and yes, do hang onto the receipt for your purchase of the blinds), keeping scrupulous records and giving receipts for each payment.
 
Unfortunately, you have to pay to replace the blinds. Then I would mail a note to your cousin enclosing a copy of the receipt for the blinds asking him to pay you the same amount. But I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for him to pay you back!
 
Write it on ice as it looks like your cousin intends to let the obligation to you melt away. Fix the blinds, and keep in mind that a written contract is far better than an oral promise. Sometimes a written contract, IOU or promissory note is a necessary evil even among friends or family. Just watch Judge Judy and see how good friends and family behave when it comes to money, property or obligations. Prayers for you and pray for you cousin.
 
Mary_Estelle said:
Write it on ice as it looks like your cousin intends to let the obligation to you melt away. Fix the blinds, and keep in mind that a written contract is far better than an oral promise. Sometimes a written contract, IOU or promissory note is a necessary evil even among friends or family. Just watch Judge Judy and see how good friends and family behave when it comes to money, property or obligations. Prayers for you and pray for you cousin.
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He might be avoiding his cousin only until he can find the money. Or maybe they’re playing phone tag but it seems like he’s ducking him because he has such a good reason to do it. Or maybe his spouse is angrily refusing that he pay for the blinds and he’s trying to work it out on his end without having to admit the spat to the world.

None of that is the OPs problem, of course, and the OP deserves to be able to get into contact with his cousin. Diplomacy, however, requires a charitable interpretation, and diplomacy with relatives has this way of paying dividends later. People resent few things more than when others rashly make negative judgments about them that are entirely correct, and relatives will remember it vividly every single time you do this to them! :rolleyes:

In other words: Yes, he’s probably ducking you, but it is in your best interest to talk and act as if you believe it must be nothing worse than an innocent case of phone tag.
 
Having been thru this, I say:
  1. No good deed goes unpunished.
  2. Never do a favor expecting anything in return, even a thank you.
  3. Be grateful they came & got the cat.
 
SMH_2015 said:
Having been thru this, I say:
  1. No good deed goes unpunished.
  2. Never do a favor expecting anything in return, even a thank you.
  3. Be grateful they came & got the cat.
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Thank you everyone for your answers. I am so mad right now cutting times seems like a GOOD idea. I cant imagine ever doing something like that to someone else. We just simply wouldn’t. Just to clarify, we didnt expect anything in return. We didnt ask for anything, exceept to fix what their cat broke. With that said, I agree 100% that I am grateful they got their cat (that was another issue but was handled).
 
Sadly, I think this is one of those life lessons that was learnt the hard way. Never do ‘Business’ with family or friends. If there was no original agreement in writing (which is why I admire Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory :D) there really is no way of knowing how one will be treated if things turn out badly.

It is up to you to measure how much effort you want to put into trying to get the money and how much you want to let it go

Angie
 
Okay, so I’m in the minority here.

If it were my cat, I’d be mortified that he ruined your blinds and would’ve paid you yesterday.

That said, a pet cat is an animal, and one that isn’t traditionally trained like a dog or contained like a grbil or goldfish. I think when you assume responsibility for caring for the cat, you also assume some risk; for example, that he pees on your carpet or knocks over a lamp or, yes, tears up your blinds. Even though you were doing them a favor and they should want to pay you back for your expense, I don’t think I would go so far as to say that they are responsible. After all, what could they have done to prevent it? They could have not asked you to take their cat, true, but then again, you could have said no.

But I realize you’d like to get reimbursed for your blinds, so in that case, I’d advise you to take EasterJoy’s approach and call your aunt and uncle without giving details. If you do get in touch with your cousin, be friendly and make like you’re sure you were just playing phone tag, and oh by the way, you really need that money or some of that money by Friday.
 
nodito said:
If you do get in touch with your cousin, be friendly and make like you’re sure you were just playing phone tag, and oh by the way, you really need that money or some of that money by Friday.
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This really caught my eye.
Years ago, I loaned a significant sum to a friend in need.
My friend had every intention of repaying me but was in tight straits and the money came back in bits and pieces over a period of time.
It was an uncomfortable situation; we saw each other often and the loan hung over us both as my circumstances changed and I tried not to pressure someone who was loved by me and doing their best.
An ending payment was “in kind” seemed like a way for us to conclude our loan/repayment in a graceful manner.
My friend had a wonderful talent and I asked if that talent could be utilized on my behalf in lieu of money.
I am still awe struck at what was created for me; far more than I requested and the effects of this have lingered in my life for many years.

I wonder if you cousin might really want to repay you but might be in a difficult financial situation. If so, it could be very hard to work through this with you and your cousin may feel terrible about this.
Perhaps partial payments or a labor swap or payment in kind could give you and your cousin a graceful way to move through this situation.
You and your cousin are in my prayers. May God bless you and strengthen your relationship.
Amen.
 
jeannetherese said:
This really caught my eye.
Years ago, I loaned a significant sum to a friend in need.
My friend had every intention of repaying me but was in tight straits and the money came back in bits and pieces over a period of time.
It was an uncomfortable situation; we saw each other often and the loan hung over us both as my circumstances changed and I tried not to pressure someone who was loved by me and doing their best.
An ending payment was “in kind” seemed like a way for us to conclude our loan/repayment in a graceful manner.
My friend had a wonderful talent and I asked if that talent could be utilized on my behalf in lieu of money.
I am still awe struck at what was created for me; far more than I requested and the effects of this have lingered in my life for many years.

I wonder if you cousin might really want to repay you but might be in a difficult financial situation. If so, it could be very hard to work through this with you and your cousin may feel terrible about this.
Perhaps partial payments or a labor swap or payment in kind could give you and your cousin a graceful way to move through this situation.
You and your cousin are in my prayers. May God bless you and strengthen your relationship.
Amen.
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I did consider that he might be in a financial situation, but he posts his new tattoos on facebook all the time :confused: he just posted a new one two weeks ago, a big one on his arm that cost at least 100 something. It’s hard to try to sympathsize or understand when he obviously has money for that 🤷
 
nodito said:
Okay, so I’m in the minority here.

If it were my cat, I’d be mortified that he ruined your blinds and would’ve paid you yesterday.

That said, a pet cat is an animal, and one that isn’t traditionally trained like a dog or contained like a grbil or goldfish. I think when you assume responsibility for caring for the cat, you also assume some risk; for example, that he pees on your carpet or knocks over a lamp or, yes, tears up your blinds. Even though you were doing them a favor and they should want to pay you back for your expense, I don’t think I would go so far as to say that they are responsible. After all, what could they have done to prevent it? They could have not asked you to take their cat, true, but then again, you could have said no.

But I realize you’d like to get reimbursed for your blinds, so in that case, I’d advise you to take EasterJoy’s approach and call your aunt and uncle without giving details. If you do get in touch with your cousin, be friendly and make like you’re sure you were just playing phone tag, and oh by the way, you really need that money or some of that money by Friday.
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Yes, the pet owners are responsible for damage their pet does, excepting the case where the caregiver violated their instructions for how to keep the pet from doing the damage. For instance, if they told the caregivers not to feed the cat “X” because it will vomit it up and make a mess and the caregivers did exactly what they were told not to do, that’s a bit different. Otherwise, when you let someone take care of your cat you take on whatever expenses your pet runs up.

As for talking with the aunt and uncle, that is a last resort. Honestly, I’d only do it when the only other two options were to be left with an expense I couldn’t pay or taking the matter to small claims court.

On that note, this adds an example to the rule: Don’t loan money to a friend unless you can afford not to ever get it back. Violate that rule, and you set yourself up to choose between losing the friendship and losing the thing you loaned when you should have admitted that you could not afford to lose it.
 
It’s sad that relatives use and abuse those that want to help,
The only advise I can give, is just take it on the chin,
Because if you confront them about it they’ll most likely get all defensive ,
And things get a lot worse,
The best you can do is let them know that to fix the place it will Cost X amount of dollars,
And them not paying is a great Christmas present for them,
That information might send them on a guilt trip
 
I’d pay for the blinds if I could, try to get the money from the cousin afterwards, but wouldn’t expect much concerning this (unless you are ready to get a lawyer over this) or that cousin and his family in general.

I have a cousin like that.
The problem wasn’t a pet, but he did end up costing my parents some money they had trouble getting back.
And talking to aunt and uncle wasn’t a real option because they always seem to believe his side of the story. No matter what he does (and lying to them about dropping out of college was just a small infraction in a long history), he is still their golden boy.
So if the aunt and uncle are like that, I wouldn’t expect much from them either, and it might affect the relationship going forward.
 
So my cousin just posted this on facebook: “Between tattoos, my jeep, travelling and wanting to fly…I got way too many expensive hobbies…oh and having my babe”

It made me want to rip my hair out!!:mad:
 
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