What would you do?

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AngelRose81

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I need some advice. I’m currently a high school teacher in a public school (10th & 11th grade). This is my first year teaching. I left a job of 6 years as a legal assistant, in which I thought I was unhappy. I worked long hours sometimes, the boss was a jerk sometimes, BUT I made good money, I had people that I could talk to, I was good at what I did, and I was closer to my parish so I could attend daily Mass. Now, I’m teaching. I love (most) of the kids, but the administration of the school and the county are really getting to me (I’m basically getting the message that they are disappointed in me and that I can’t manage a classroom, or at least that’s the way I perceive it), and there are many days that I am TRYING to teach but I can’t get the kids to settle down enough to teach everything I need to some days. There are lots of days when I am in the classroom and I feel simply helpless and I want to walk out of the room and burst into tears. I know that my old employer would hire me back. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like my spiritual life would be better at my old job because I would be able to attend daily Mass almost every day, plus I could go to the adoration chapel everyday if I wanted. But on the other hand, it is nice to be 5 minutes from home and get home at 3:30 and be off in summers, Christmas, etc. But is all that worth feeling miserable all the time. Even my husband and father notice I miserable. I’m also worried that my dad will be dissapointed in me. He’s a principal and was so excited about me teaching. Any advice?

(Sorry so long, btw!)
 
Whenever I’m contemplating a major life change, like a job change, I make a list of pros and cons of both choices. Which it seems like you have pretty much done. Then you weigh those pros and cons and see which are most important to you, and how they affect your family. The most important part of the decision is to pray about it. When I do that, one choice usually just kind of makes itself apparent to me, and I go with that.
I know it can be a tough decision either way. But usually if I’m very unhappy in a job and leave for another, I find I am less stressed overall. No job is perfect, but if you’re unhappy constantly, then that probably isn’t the place you need to be.
 
Teaching IS hard. Especially that first year. My dh left a corporate job to teach and some days it is very difficult for him–and he had previous experience teaching. I don’t want to discourage you though. Ask your dad for help/advice. Ask an experienced teacher at your school for help, ask the principal or vice principal. If they see that you are trying, I doubt they will fire you outright.

Also pray to St John Bosco, St Elizabeth Seaton, St John Baptise de Salle–they were all wonderful teachers and I’m sure will support you in your efforts. Also check all your surrounding parishes, one of them my have a regular evening Mass, or very early morning Mass that you can attend at least sometimes during the week.

If you do decide to go back to your corporate job, please don’t think of it as quitting or failure. Not everyone is called to teach and your example to your co-workers in going to daily Mass, etc may be the witness God is asking of you.
 
What subject are you teachign?

When you decided to teach, did you sign up for any courses on classroom management? Are you currently in an alternative certification program? Do you have a mentor teacher? Does your district have a discipline system or is it up to teachers to implement their own?

Classroom management is KEY when teaching.

This statement is concerning: I can’t get the kids to settle down enough to teach everything I need to some days. What do you do to try getting them to “settle down.” What are your class rules? What do you do if someone transgresses the rules? Do you have a warm up assignment waiting for everyone when they arrive so they are on task immediately from the start of class? Etc, etc, etc. There are many techinques. Do you not know what they are or how to apply them… or do you try to apply them and they don’t work for you?

Why did you decide to teach? What motivated you to leave your legal assistant job, what made you think you were unhappy?

I would say that in assessing this situation, the most important thing is whether believe you are suited to the position, enjoy the position, and get satisfaction from it.

How close you are to your parish and going to daily mass come in a distant second to what you are doing the 8-10 hours a day you are **at **your job. Same for getting home at 3:30 and “summers off.” These are not **reasons **to be a legal assistant or **reasons **to teach.

Classroom management skills can be learned. If you want to be a teacher, start working on this deficiency. Not everyone likes the Canters, but Assertive Discipline is an easy system and it DOES work. Look it up online. Investigate classes available locally through your university. Talk to your principal and ask for help.

If you don’t want to be a disciplinarian, don’t like teaching, etc, then consider moving on to something else.
 
As a third year teacher, I have definitely felt this way, and from what I have encountered with my fellow teachers, it is not uncommon in our profession. There is a reason that teaching has low attrition rates, and part of it is that it is a difficult job that demands a lot of you from the beginning, yet it takes a lot of time to get to a stage where you feel comfortable-- especially in the realm of classroom management!

However, the students whose lives we touch can make our days brighter, and I truly believe that our profession gives us a special place in people’s lives–not something that can happen in all careers. As someone who sat in front of my computer, overwhelmed and crying every night for the first 2 weeks of my teaching career, I can assure you it gets better with time. I still feel pressure from the administration of my school and district, and I’m often not happy with the way things are dealt with…but when I get bogged down by the pessimism, I try to remember the reasons I took this job in the first place, and how I feel happier in the challenge of serving and teaching others (some of whom are hard to love, as you pointed out). The despair I felt in those earlier days has eased tremendously.

I don’t think you should be afraid to tell your dad. I would think he would understand where you are coming from, and actually be a great support to you. My mom is a former teacher, and in those really early days when I wanted to give up and felt so lonely, I told her (although I was embarrassed for crying and sounding like a baby), and I found she was a better support to me than anyone else. She had felt similarly in her first year of teaching, and actually ended up leaving 1 month into the job, and went back to a desk job (a personal regret of hers, which has led her back to teaching now, 30 years later.)

I would encourage you to stick it out, as in my experience, it does get better (although the feeling of inadequacy in some areas is something I still struggle with, and I think it’s normal for anyone who really wants to challenge themselves to do their job well.) Just take it a day at a time and remind yourself you are doing your best. 🙂 If the year ends and you feel it’s not something you want to continue, you will always have other options available to you, and you’re all the better for being honest with yourself! Good luck!
 
I am not a teacher, but I do work in a public school. Teaching is very hard, especially on a first year teacher. Ask your Principal for a mentor. If you already have one, utilize her! My county has a New Educators’ Support System, and every new teacher is paired with an experienced teacher so that they can get through that very trying first year. See if your district has something similar. I cannot stress this enough. Even if your district does not have a NESS program, find a mentor!

Classroom management is always one of the biggest issues for new teachers. You cannot be (and in fact are not) expected to know it all. When you have conferences with your administrators, ask for specific examples of what they’d like to see improved upon. Then take all the in-services workshops you can.

Hang in there. Your administrators at this point want to help you get past the rough freshman teaching year. If they did not let you go in the first 90 days, they see potential in you and want to help you. If after you complete the first year you still hate it, then consider going back to the old job. I think you owe it to yourself to find out if you really hate teaching, or if you simply have not found your footing yet.

Like I said before: Hang in there. You just may find, once you get your bearings, that you really do enjoy teaching.

Good luck to you!
 
1ke said:
What subject are you teachign?

I teach English.
When you decided to teach, did you sign up for any courses on classroom management? Are you currently in an alternative certification program? Do you have a mentor teacher? Does your district have a discipline system or is it up to teachers to implement their own?
I am in the Alt. Cert. program and am working on my Masters. The school I am going to does offer classroom management, but the class was a joke. It is taught by a professor who has never been in the classroom, plus most of it was online, but this school is starting to only offer some classes this way. So it didn’t help one bit.
Classroom management is KEY when teaching.

This statement is concerning: I can’t get the kids to settle down enough to teach everything I need to some days. What do you do to try getting them to “settle down.” What are your class rules? What do you do if someone transgresses the rules? Do you have a warm up assignment waiting for everyone when they arrive so they are on task immediately from the start of class? Etc, etc, etc. There are many techinques. Do you not know what they are or how to apply them… or do you try to apply them and they don’t work for you?
**I have rules that I enforce. The administration wants you to talk to the student, then the parents, and THEN send them to the office. The thing is, these kids get a day or two of ISS for classroom disruption, but it doesn’t do anything to phase them. They just don’t care. They think that a low C or D average is enough to get into any college they want and you can’t change their mind. **
Why did you decide to teach? What motivated you to leave your legal assistant job, what made you think you were unhappy?
**I thought teaching was something I could do. I left my other job because I had had enough of my boss, and now my bosses (principal and superintendent, and supervisor, who is the superintendent’s wife, btw) at the school are 10 times worse than my old boss. They are on power trips (my dad, who has been a principal for 30 years agrees with this) and they pretty much only care about sports and if you don’t play one or coach one, they enjoy finding things wrong. The supervisor who observes us (the superintendent’s wife) met with me after my second observation and she had nothing good to say about the observation. She thought it was bad because I had to stop 2 students from whispering during the lesson. **
I would say that in assessing this situation, the most important thing is whether believe you are suited to the position, enjoy the position, and get satisfaction from it.

How close you are to your parish and going to daily mass come in a distant second to what you are doing the 8-10 hours a day you are **at **your job. Same for getting home at 3:30 and “summers off.” These are not **reasons **to be a legal assistant or **reasons **to teach.
I know that those aren’t reasons to do anything, but I’m just trying to look at things in perspective and my church is very important to me. I didn’t realize just how important until I was away from it.
Classroom management skills can be learned. If you want to be a teacher, start working on this deficiency. Not everyone likes the Canters, but Assertive Discipline is an easy system and it DOES work. Look it up online. Investigate classes available locally through your university. Talk to your principal and ask for help.

If you don’t want to be a disciplinarian, don’t like teaching, etc, then consider moving on to something else.
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My replies are in bold. Thanks for your comments, they are really good.👍
 
The thing is, I’ve found out a lot about how kids can be. I guess I went into teaching assuming they would not act they way they do. Some of these kids are very very rude and the administration doesn’t like you to send them to the office for just “talking”. One more thing I didn’t mention was that recently they (the principal & superintendent) found out I am Catholic and I keep getting the vibe that they don’t like that. Side note-the principal is kind of a Baptist preacher and he goes to a church that taught a class on cults and included Catholics in that.

Anyway, I know my classroom management skills aren’t perfect right now, but I never thought kids would be this way and be so rude and disrespectful. I’m just very disheartened by it. They don’t follow the rules, they don’t care about the consequences. I’ve tried implementing “rewards” at the supervisor’s suggestion, I’ve made many seating charts, I’ve sent them to the office, I’ve had conferences, I’ve even done the “alternative” teaching as I call it where we play games and such instead of lecturing for a lesson since the administration likes that.

I just feel as if I can’t do anything right for them eventhough I’m trying my best to please everyone.
 
It’d be best to speak to Jesus about this. He’ll arrange things for your greater good.
 
1ke said:
How close you are to your parish and going to daily mass come in a distant second to what you are doing the 8-10 hours a day you are **at **your job. Same for getting home at 3:30 and “summers off.” These are not **reasons **to be a legal assistant or **reasons **to teach.
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No, but they are reasons to choose one job over another. See, some of us don’t see teaching, or nursing, or whatever “helping” job there is, as a ‘calling’, we see it as a job. So, if being close to daily mass and adoration is important to her, then I see that as a very valid reason to choose one job over another. If I could get a job like that, I’d take it. 🤷
 
I’m sorry to hear about the rough situation with the principals beliefs-- my parents are Baptist, and I know the types of things that get said about Catholics. How discouraging. It seems you’ve tried to endure it and still do your best, though, so kudos to you for taking the high road.

How much leeway do you have in letting the students pick out things they might actually want to read/ debate/ discuss/ learn about? I teach elementary, so I’m not too familiar with the structure of standards at the high school level, but would there be room for more student (name removed by moderator)ut in what is being studied? I took a young adult literature class aimed at getting kids more engaged in reading, and most of the teachers were middle/ high school English teachers, and there were so many fascinating books out there for those age groups that they talked about. Perhaps there might be a reading specialist or county-level instructional specialist that could help you find ways to get students more involved in the subject? I know in my district the 11th graders have to do a research paper, so maybe having some debates on subjects the kids might actually take an interest in (ie, raising the driving age, media coverage of teen pregnancy/body image/etc), and leading those into a statement paper could be a possibility?
 
AngelRose81 said:
The thing is, I’ve found out a lot about how kids can be. I guess I went into teaching assuming they would not act they way they do. Some of these kids are very very rude and the administration doesn’t like you to send them to the office for just “talking”. One more thing I didn’t mention was that recently they (the principal & superintendent) found out I am Catholic and I keep getting the vibe that they don’t like that. Side note-the principal is kind of a Baptist preacher and he goes to a church that taught a class on cults and included Catholics in that.

Anyway, I know my classroom management skills aren’t perfect right now, but I never thought kids would be this way and be so rude and disrespectful. I’m just very disheartened by it. They don’t follow the rules, they don’t care about the consequences. I’ve tried implementing “rewards” at the supervisor’s suggestion, I’ve made many seating charts, I’ve sent them to the office, I’ve had conferences, I’ve even done the “alternative” teaching as I call it where we play games and such instead of lecturing for a lesson since the administration likes that.

I just feel as if I can’t do anything right for them eventhough I’m trying my best to please everyone.
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Well, I and others can offer suggestions regarding discipline strategies and other classroom techniques. And it sounds like you are taking steps to address the problems you are having. But discipline seems more a symptom than a cause.

We cannot change the adminstrative team and a poor management team is ten times worse than student discipline problems.

Is this the only high school in your district or is there another district nearby? A private school perhaps? It may not be teaching but rather the environment. A different schoolcould bring an entirely different experience.

It also sounds like your expectations of teaching and expectations of what the students would be like do not match the reality. So, perhaps you have discovered a career that is just not a match for you.

It seems to me that you were not drawn *to *teaching, but rather were attemting to get *away *from a bad situation at your other job. Examine your own motivations.

Also look to your skills in the area of communication and working with your superiors. Either you have had a tremendous run of bad bosses, or there may be some things you need to work on within *you *that contribute to the experience you have with your superiors.

I agree with Eucharisted that prayer and discernment are definitely part of the equation.
 
Even though first year teaching is very difficult, with a supportive administration it would not be miserable and causing a career change. The administration has about a zero chance of changing in a particular school so your choices are either to find someone who is managing despite the admin. and ask for advice or find another school at which to teach. It would be too bad if you had to throw in the towel after only one year.
 
My only teaching experience has been with people who wanted to learn, so I have nothing concrete to offer. Just some anecdotal evidence…

Get the book, Don’t Shoot the Dog! by Karen Pryor. While aimed at animal trainers, it’s really abut training in general, by what the scientists call “operant conditioning.” I have heard that some teachers have found it a real help with classroom management.

And after all, some kids really are little animals, aren’t they? 😉

Meantime, spend some time in Adoration. I have often found myself going in with a question, and leaving with an answer, though I didn’t pray for one.

God bless you,

Ruthie
 
Hello, I just want to thank you for becoming a teacher.
I have met many teachers now, and I haven’t met one that
I didn’t admire yet. I knew in 6th grade that I would never
want that job. So much work, and having to be with people
who disrespect you all day!!

Just what you have already done can never be taken away, so
thank you.

What I would do, is to ask God. Why did He make you a
teacher? What if the devil is trying to get you out? I would
ask God, and listen. You want to work for God, even if it is
hard. The teachers I have seen that are really good at it have
been doing it for about 20 years…
 
Teaching, specifically, is a calling. Only those with the talents should become teachers. That doesn’t mean you can’t learn or adjust. Alternative Teacher Certification programs vary. It looks like you chose the way I tried many years ago and failed. BUT…there are programs design to help you manager your classrooms by attending a summer session academy style to learn how to do everything from salted teachers. My wife has gone through this program and really loved it. But my wife is very talented and has a unique preparation for it. I’d take an obnoxious boss over 6 or 7 toddlers any day. She rean a home daycare for 7 years. She now says that teaching is much easier than running a home daycare. She happens to teach one of the poorish areas of a major city and still loves it. She has students that are truly marginalized in many ways because the school is a charter school and the owners are Protestant. My wife is a convert and some of them don’t know she’s a convert or what her prior faith was. But she doesn’t experience much anti-Catholic rhetoric there. She’s lucky because she does pull-outs. She went before the Blessed Sacrament everyday and landed this job. She didn’t even remember applying for it. But she does love it.

An administration can make you or break you. Sometimes just changing what age you teach helps. But it takes time. Be humble and submit to help. Ask and seek as much help as possible. Find someone that will help you learn. DO it to survive and then this summer you can think about it.
 
Thanks for all your replies. I’m still weighing everything in my heart and mind right now. My husband told me that whatever I decide to do he will support me either way. He and my dad talked about it and my dad thinks I should stick it out another year, but I’m afraid that the same thing will end up happening and it will be another year of misery. I’m going to talk to my dad about it tomorrow and see what he really thinks. And I’m going to keep praying, too. Please keep me in your prayers.
 
AngelRose81 said:
Thanks for all your replies. I’m still weighing everything in my heart and mind right now. My husband told me that whatever I decide to do he will support me either way. He and my dad talked about it and my dad thinks I should stick it out another year, but I’m afraid that the same thing will end up happening and it will be another year of misery. I’m going to talk to my dad about it tomorrow and see what he really thinks. And I’m going to keep praying, too. Please keep me in your prayers.
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I am a teacher and taught secondary school for years. The first year for every teacher is tough and if anyone says otherwise, they are not being totally honest. I remember many, many sleepless nights making lesson plans and alternative lesson plans in case the first one didn’t work. Your first year teaching you don’t have any “tricks up your sleeve” that more experienced teachers have and this is what makes it so hard. Class control is one of the most dificult parts of teaching and it does take practise.

However, by the end of your first year you should be starting to see some improvement, you should feel more confident and you should not be thinking of the coming year as “another year of misery”.

I would seriously look into either changing schools (I read you have admin. problems) or changing jobs, for example, tutoring/teaching a literacy programme for adults. If you do like teaching and the only problem is class control, then teaching adults removes a lot, but not all, of this issue.

Gearoidin
 
My mother was a sixth grade teacher for 30 years. Whenever I asked her why she became a teacher, she said that she wanted a career, and when she entered college, the only socially acceptable jobs for a young woman were: secretary, nurse, teacher, or housewife. She hated to type, couldnt’ stand the sight of blood, and didn’t want to be home all day. 🤷

It was not her calling. She was a good teacher, in the sense that she really taught the material and was a firm disciplinarian…but she didn’t love it. She would come home from work tired, dispirited, cranky with us kids because she wasn’t doing what she loved. She often said that her dream job would have been to be a stewardess, but it “wasn’t respectable”. And, once she had the degree and started teaching, she wasn’t going to disappoint everybody and let them down.

Don’t keep a job based on whether others will be disappointed in you for giving it up. Don’t keep a job that you feel is spiritually draining you. Try reading “What Color is Your Parachute” or any books by Barbara Sher to try to figure out what it is you REALLY want to do with your life. Your old job sounds very convenient, yes, and makes good money…but you quit for a reason. Maybe you felt you wanted to do work with meaning and service, and you felt teaching fit the bill.

Pray, as well. Try to discern what your calling is. In the meantime, it sounds like you are doing what you can, with what you have, where you are, and I commend you for that. 👍
 
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