what would you do

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englishredrose

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I have no idea where to put this so it can be a prayer too

I go to a mental health charity quite regularly. I have also been doing my own bit at really building myself up for work by working on my numeracy and going into school one day a week. I have kept going when other times I would have skipped a day. (Though not saying I haven’t skipped days). But through a totally seperate talk with my parish priest he has helped enormously without him realising about facing my own fear of work. He knows he has helped but whether he is aware of quite how much…

Anyway last month at a Breakfast group session the workers started discussing the new benefit form that we have to do now in UK for change over of benefits. I haven’t asked for any help with filling out the form. I wont get any help in attending the medical. Which I will fail because they fail you apparently if you are not with someone. But that is beside the way side as such.

The problem is that I was basically targeted in the group for not doing anything to help myself over the year when they know I have because I have actually asked for help with the teaching assistants course itself because got very stuck - I have since quit the course because the course tutor couldn’t find any problem with my work and wasn’t able to hear when I did try to say I can’t open the folder - foggy brain when I do. I mentioned this at Mind and didn’t get any help there too. So feel very annoyed that when I have asked for help I am being accused of not finding work. Remembering too that I am working on numeracy and received a new way of thinking about work from the priest…

Last week was a different topic but yesterday it was back to not doing anything again. I just happened to offer that I like cleaning because you can go in and do the work and come out and concentrate life on hobbies etc. One person started to say then, there you go, you came into the group not knowing what you wanted to do and… I did quickly jump in and point out that I have been going into school one day a week for nearly a year. I didn’t share the whole meaning of the energy I put into that. She did have the audicy to shut up but I received no recognition for that I am doing stuff to find work. Not that I want any from them but when one is being accused of not doing anything when I have made personal leaps in that area.

Do I complain? If I complain then I am basically out of that group because the worker don’t take complaints very well as such. So its knowing how to complain. I need to say something but how and what because I do feel very hurt about not being heard.

What would any of you do please?
 
I think what you need to realise here is that YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT! The way the UK is being run is a disgrace. There ARE NO JOBS at the moment. But you always knew that a Conservative government would steal from the poor to give to the rich. For instance, the number of people being made unemployed is increasing, the number of people being evicted from their homes is increasing, the crime rate is increasing, even the soldiers that have been serving in Afghanistan etc. are coming home to find they’ve been made redundant. Indeed, the MAJORITY of homeless people in the UK are ex-service personnel. And yet, through all this, the number of millionaires in the UK is increasing drastically. Government policy is all about trying to justify the un-justifiable ethics and morals they enforce. This is done by demonising the weak and less powerful through the popular media etc. (such as the unemployed, the mentally ill, the old and the sick etc.) in order to divert attention away from the avarice intended to benefit the obscenely affluent. And the bad news is that it will probably get worse. These people are now a law unto themselves, I would appeal any rejection of your assessment, but I don’t know how much good it will do you. Democracy? Don’t make me laugh.

God bless you, you are in my prayers
 
Lord, I pray that through the intercession of your most powerful Mother Mary englishredrose finds a solution to her problem. Please grant her strength, courage, the deepest faith, surrender to your holy will and abandonment to your divine providence. Mother Mary, please make your intentions in this matter come true. Amen.
 
Thanks for both of you for caring to post. I appreciate that.

Update is that I did write out and gave it into today and left feeling very ignored in that the person concerned had read some of it - I saw but at no point did he come up and say do you want to chat about it or something. So left feeling very angry and ignored. Luckily I can and do share things with parish priest of which its totally confidential, I’ve said far more private matters with him and its stayed with him via email. Everyone else, they respond to and it just got left. I even gave the guy a chance to help me find voluntary work to gain experience in a prison of which I can go and get myself quite easily-ish. But thought would give him a chance to help and just got nothing. I know he can’t do anything Friday afternoon as such but he could have had just a quick quiet word with me to make sure I was okay and didn’t even get that.

So will be doing my own work of finding prison volunteering work. I got the academic qualifications though working on numeracy and so need the experience and a way in.

Thanks both of you for taking the time to reply. I had given up mentally.
 
Just remember that God will see us all through our difficult times. You will remain in my prayers.

God bless
 
Our Father, which art in Heaven
Hollowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven

Give us this day, our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
Amen

Oh my Jesus
Forgive us our sins
Save us from the fires of hell
And lead all souls to Heaven
Especially those in
Most need of thy mercy
Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus

Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our deaths
Amen

Glory be to The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be
World without end
Amen
 
Thank you

Life is strange is it not. When I am experience seasonal affective dissorder anger is an issue but one I have my own way of handling.

At the moment this anger is too much although am cooling off - I haven’t fully dealt with it not properly and it being lashed out onto other stuff what has been forgotten

Luckily for me my priest does know me a little in the short space of time he been here, (almost better than I do I guess) and can say stuff to him and its safe. The first time I tried to apologise and verbally he basically wouldn’t let me, instead telling me if I need to send him emails then he understands what is happening. I have learned therefore that I can and do say anything. That time was something he’d said - to me. Most of it is about life outside. Though yesterday was er more like what he hasn’t said. Though the anger is really stemmed from what happend at the other group.

I do have my own ways at managing anger as most of us do and via email he reads that. I am very safe sharing stuff with him. I like that lots. I value that lots.

The anger would probably resolve if the issue at group was resolved…

Thank you for all your prayers.
 
Having posted the above I realised that I can share the darker side of my struggle with the priest so did so straight away. I know it be safe with him and I don’ t know how it works in all but writing it for someone safe to read it, frees up that bit of space and release. I can’t do it to a journal as I quite blank page syndrome or something? Yet in an email to someone I can almost share too much information though I know that be kind of impossible with him I think knowing what I have already shared with him.

After that we went to a garden centre and our usual route was closed so we had to go via the prison which is the nearest one to where I live. I was very pleased to see it was on a bus route.

So having come back from the garden centre I have instantly wrote a letter to the prison asking about becoming a volunteer if possible helping with Basic Skills but failing that in some other capacity. I have my own difficulties and hopefully that will help me be a good volunteer with the aim of any luck proper work there? That is my aim but at least I have made the first step myself and written the letter before I have had time to chicken out. So please pray that I hear from the Prison and get accepted as a volunteer in whatever capacity quite soon.

Thanks
 
Thank you

and feel the best I have done all week so thanks for prayers… I still mean that 🙂
 
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