What would you do?

[Sue_D_Num]

My brother-in-law is a good man but has made some poor choices. He married once in the church but they divorced. He never got that marriage annulled. His children with this woman are not baptized and are now grown. About five years ago, he had a brief civil marriage to a woman who was cheating on him and using him for money. That marriage was annulled by the state since it did not last very long. He is getting married this weekend at my in-laws house to his former high school sweetheart, who he had a son with back in high school. My in-laws are Catholic and would prefer an annulment and a marriage in the church, but that will not happen. My brother-in-law has lapsed from the church and is not going back. I’m not sure why this is being held at.my in-laws. My mother-in-law has stated that she wants her son in her life and is willing to leave the judgment to God. She is not well and is tired of fighting in the family. My husband is against this “marriage”. I see his point of view. I don’t believe this is a marriage in God’s eyes, but I am refraining from judgment. We will likely go just for the sake of family peace. If you were us, what would you do?

 

[Kelfa28]

I wouldn’t go. But that is just me.

We are facing a somewhat similar situation with my MIL.

She is a baptized Catholic but has been lapsed for decades and attends a non-denom Christian Church.

She has a boyfriend now and wants to get married. However, this would be her third marriage.

My husband and his sister have made peace with the situation and have agreed to not attend any wedding that may or may not happen. My MIL knows and isn’t happy with it…but hasn’t made too many waves about it either.

For what it’s worth…hubby and I talked to our priest and he agreed we shouldn’t feel obligated to go to a wedding like this.

 

[AKDee]

Personally, I would go. I think it’s the loving thing to do. I think if your B-I-L has any chance of coming home to the Church, it’s going to be because the people around him were examples of Christ’s love and not because people in the family shunned him and his wife based on their personal beliefs (which he no longer shares).

You catch more flies with honey, as they say.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

We will likely go just for the sake of family peace. If you were us, what would you do?

Sometimes we ust have to let people make their mistakes. So go to the “wedding” and be gracious.

Ignore those who tell you to stay away from the ceremony. If you don’t go it could cause a rift in the family and also give others a reason to say that religious people are self-righteous and unkind.

 

[ClearWater]

My brother-in-law is a good man but has made some poor choices. He married once in the church but they divorced. He never got that marriage annulled. His children with this woman are not baptized and are now grown. About five years ago, he had a brief civil marriage to a woman who was cheating on him and using him for money. That marriage was annulled by the state since it did not last very long. He is getting married this weekend at my in-laws house to his former high school sweetheart, who he had a son with back in high school. My in-laws are Catholic and would prefer an annulment and a marriage in the church, but that will not happen. My brother-in-law has lapsed from the church and is not going back. I’m not sure why this is being held at.my in-laws. My mother-in-law has stated that she wants her son in her life and is willing to leave the judgment to God. She is not well and is tired of fighting in the family. My husband is against this “marriage”. I see his point of view. I don’t believe this is a marriage in God’s eyes, but I am refraining from judgment. We will likely go just for the sake of family peace. If you were us, what would you do?

I would probably go, leave the judgements to God.

 

[agnes_therese]

Your brother-in-law needs people in his life who will be good examples, and who will show their love for him. That doesn’t mean you have to tell him his life is perfect. But I think you should go.

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

Hi. Sue ,

I would go, your opinion will not change your brother in law , he is Family ,
He hasn’t harmed you ? He may have disappointed you ,
but he won’t be Robinson Caruso on that one,
Now he wants to marry his old school girlfriend , they had a child together,
To me, it sounds like he may have grown up and turned a corner in his life,
Support this man, give him a hug, whisper in his ear, don’t Fudge this up buddy !!

 

[Catholic1954]

Your brother in law has left the Church; go to the wedding and keep the peace.

 

[fencersmother]

When my sister in law was in a similar situation, we did not attend the wedding.

she didn’t care, then or now.