what would you do?

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angell1

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I’m so worried about supporting the sins of others indirectly or passively

what do we do about cohabitating friends or relatives? or people who marry outside the church or divorce and remarriage? homosexual “couples”

do we visit them in these living arrangements? do we address the “spouse” as their spouse?

I’m just really confused on the whole issue.

if a cahotlic marries outside the church, aren’t they considered in an invalid marriage and therefore not married at all? isn’t it then the same as cohabitation?

the marriage of my parents isn’t even valid, I still live at home, am I somehow supporting it? and when they want to celebrate their anniversary and all that, how exatly am I supposed to not participate without starting a world war?

any advice you can give me please? I certainly don’t want to be mean or overscrupulous but I don’t want to compromise the truth or encourage sins either
 
Your scruples seem to be acting up again, based on the number of posts here tonight on various topics you are stressing about.

My advice is to be kind, be gracious, and stop stressing.
 
angell1 said:
I’m so worried about supporting the sins of others indirectly or passively

what do we do about cohabitating friends or relatives? or people who marry outside the church or divorce and remarriage? homosexual “couples”

do we visit them in these living arrangements? do we address the “spouse” as their spouse?

I’m just really confused on the whole issue.

if a cahotlic marries outside the church, aren’t they considered in an invalid marriage and therefore not married at all? isn’t it then the same as cohabitation?

the marriage of my parents isn’t even valid, I still live at home, am I somehow supporting it? and when they want to celebrate their anniversary and all that, how exatly am I supposed to not participate without starting a world war?

any advice you can give me please? I certainly don’t want to be mean or overscrupulous but I don’t want to compromise the truth or encourage sins either
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Jesus visited these people (prostitutes, tax collectors, etc) and spoke of the truth. He did not speak of himself (his opinions, etc.) he only spoke what God told him to speak. Jesus has given us a counsellor (the Holy Spirit) to counsel us in these matters. It is through Jesus and the Holy Spirit we discern the truth.

In such situations I stay quiet (live and let live), and only talk when asked to, and when I do, I only say what is true for me. Often they leave me alone, but they all know what I represent. Whenever they need to here the truth, they turn to me and ask what I think.

Sometimes while listening to a bunch of people discussing some issue, I often see a quiet one looking at me in deep thought. I know that one is considering what is the truth here.

So, without having to say much, only my truth, others have a reference point amongst them (consciously or not).
 
Hi,
Jesus loves all of us but not our sin. I tell everyone that Jesus loves them but not our sin. Then. I may say,’,What is sin? Read the Bible., " We all are sinners, saved by grace" “He who is without sin. cast the first stone.,”,
It is not complicated. You live your life loving people I.e. prostitutes and tax collectors, gays,lesbians, and transgenders. If invited to a BD party at a gays house for his mom who is having the BD. I would go. I would not stay over night in the house. My parents were the same as yours. But when the ex wife died. They got blessed. If they have no impediment, you could say," Wouldn’t it be nice the next anniversary that we get a church blessing on your marriage? " You are to be as Christ like as you can. Show His love and you don’t know where it will lead those you touch. Do not judge or you will be judge
in Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
 
1ke said:
Your scruples seem to be acting up again, based on the number of posts here tonight on various topics you are stressing about.

My advice is to be kind, be gracious, and stop stressing.
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I certainly try my best to do that.

the thing is, that can easily be mistaken for approval of what they’re doing
 
Welcome to my world. short answers:
  1. pray, really
  2. realize that you cannot solve all these problems, as you say, without “world war”
  3. Your preaching to them has to be living your life as a Catholic. Be an example.
In Ralph Martin’s book, The Fulfillment of All Desire, a good way into the book, the subject of a person’s reputation comes up. Martin selects quotations from various saints who are also “doctors” of the Church. One of them says, surprisingly, not to stick your neck out so much (my words) which would result in damaging your own reputation.

Your pain is the pain of Christ on his way to the cross, mourning over Jerusalem. As he said, take up your cross and follow him.
 
1ke said:
Your scruples seem to be acting up again, based on the number of posts here tonight on various topics you are stressing about.

My advice is to be kind, be gracious, and stop stressing.
Click to expand...
what would actually be support in these situations, or encouragement? that’s what I’m having trouble understanding

am I somehow giving off the message that something is ok, for example, visiting cohabitating friends, something like that. even if they know that I disapprove and that I’m catholic

I really don’t want ot stress about it, I just want to do the right thing
 
If they are your friends, then feel free to visit them and address them as friends. In the case of your parents, treat them with respect and love. In so doing, you are not encouraging or enabling their sin. Conversely, if you refused to visit them or address them as friends, or if you refused to acknowledge your parents marriage, it would not make them turn away from sin. You are not making them sin, and you are not making them stop sinning.

If you want to influence them to live virtuously, all you can do most days is to lead by your good example.
 
Scratch off the ‘outside the church’ one, if I am reading it correctly, it is fine as long as it is done by a Cathilic priest. My wife and I have been married for nearly 35 years. She’s Episcople, I’m Catholic.
 
angell1 said:
what would actually be support in these situations, or encouragement? that’s what I’m having trouble understanding

am I somehow giving off the message that something is ok, for example, visiting cohabitating friends, something like that. even if they know that I disapprove and that I’m catholic

I really don’t want ot stress about it, I just want to do the right thing
Click to expand...
Yes you can go to their home. Yes you can maintain a relationship with them. If they know your position on these issues, all the better.

As I said, be kind and be gracious.

With those in relationships with the same sex, I can tell you what I personally do. I refer to their “other” by their name, not as “spouse” or “husband” or “wife” if and when the situation calls for it. I work with several individuals who have same sex partners, and three of them got “married” last year or the year before. We work just fine together, we go to lunch, we are on friendly terms. I don’t ask about their SS relationship, and if they talk about it, I listen politely. If they talk about a trip they took, I say “wow, that sounds like a fun trip”. If they talk about their other’s job loss, I say, “that must really be tough right now. I hope Fred finds another job soon.”
 
thanks for all your advice and suggestions.

i’ll try to ot let it bother me too much
 
“Do not judge me. Last I looked, you did not borrow my shoes to walk in them.”
 
This is easy Angel. I’m scrupulous as well and all scrupulous persons are exempt (and strongly discouraged) from any and all fraternal correction.
 
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